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Abby rubbed her temples and groaned.
She needed a back massage and at least four aspirin if she planned on getting through the day.
Erin giggled as Holtzmann crossed her eyes then winked.
… Make that six aspirin to get through the next hour.
“Holtz. You planning on finishing that proton pack adjustment today or…?”
“Yes ma’am!” Holtzmann saluted. “I just have to connect these two wires and we’re in business!”
“Then connect the wires already!”
Holtzmann’s shoulders fell and she nodded solemnly, fiddling with her glasses.
“Abby… Come on,” Erin whined. “We’ve been working for the past six days straight. Give the girl a break!”
“We wouldn’t need a break if we would just finish our work on time, Erin.”
“Excuse me? You know what? Screw that. I’m gonna get some lunch.”
Patty looked up excitedly from her book (One Thousand Things You Never Knew About New York City) and placed it face down on the table next to her crossword.
“I’m in.”
“Jill—Holtzmann? Are you in too?”
Abby raised a brow.
“I could use a plate or two of some nourishing chemicals to be broken down by my—“
“Holtz,” Patty muttered, patting the woman’s shoulder. “Just say yes.”
“Yes. Lunch sounds like a fantastic idea.”
Erin rounded on Abby, putting her hands on her hips.
“Well?”
“Fine!” Abby conceded, rolling her eyes at the way Patty cheered and ran to the others for high-fives. “But only because I haven’t eaten in 7 hours and I can barely think straight!”
“Me neither!” Holtzmann grinned.
Patty covered her face. Erin flushed.
When they got back, Holtzmann hopped right back over to her workstation, sloppily munching away at her meatball sub. Sauce dripped on the table and occasionally onto the floor but somehow always narrowly missed the wires and tubes tangled all over the table’s surface. It also somehow never touched her overalls.
Abby sighed. She’d worry about getting the mop and sponge later.
“Holtz, how the hell have you managed to get food all over the table and floor but not a speck of it is actually on you?” Patty asked incredulously, sounding both disgusted and impressed.
“Can’t mess up perfectly good overalls with delicious marinara,” Holtzmann winked. “Overalls are for oil and grease only.”
Patty shrugged knowing there was no way she’d ever understand the logic behind that one.
“She’s… wow,” Patty hummed.
“Yeah,” Erin agreed dreamily, her cheeks turning light pink.
“Holtzmann, I swear to god if you get sauce on my PKE—“
A meatball slipped out of the back of the sandwich as Holtzmann took a hearty bite.
Abby would swear she saw the whole thing happen in slow motion as the saucy ball tumbled lower and lower until…
“Oops.”
“SON OF A GODDAMNED-- MOTHER FUCKING—NO MORE SANDWICHES AT THE WORK TABLE!” Abby roared, sprinting to her device.
“I’m sorry I didn’t—“
“Holtzmann… Back away slowly from the work table,” Patty advised, standing up slowly.
“Abby, she didn’t mean to—“
“SHE SAUCED MY PSYCHO KINETIC ENERGY METER. SHE SAUCED IT. JUST GOT SAUCE ALL OVER IT.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll fix it. Just—“
“I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU SAUCED—“
“Abby, that’s enough!” Erin bit back at the woman, striding from the table to stand between them. “She didn’t mean to! It was an accident.”
“And it wouldn’t have happened if she would just sit and eat at the table like everyone else!”
Patty chuckled.
Everyone turned toward Patty with different expressions of confusion. Abby looked like she could kill the next person to look at her weird or breathe in her direction. Erin looked exasperated. Holtzmann resembled a puppy that just heard a strange noise.
Patty laughed even harder.
“Why are you laughing? How is this funny?!”
“I just,” Patty spat out between fits of laughter. “You want Holtzmann, Jillian Holtzman, to do things like everyone else?”
Abby shook her head and sighed, dissolving into laughter with everyone else.
Holtzmann grinned proudly.
“Alright. So you don’t have to be like everyone else. Just eat away from the workstation from now on. Deal?”
Holtzmann nodded seriously and shook Abby’s hand. Abby grimaced at the feeling of squishy marinara squelching between their palms.
“Oops.”
“It’s fine. We have soap,” Abby sighed.
Erin plopped back down at the table next to Patty as Abby went off to wash the sauce off her hands. Holtzmann popped the last bit of her sandwich into her mouth and followed after Abby.
“She’s so…--”
“Yeah. She’s something,” Patty mumbled, stuffing a fry in her mouth as she scribbled more letters into her crossword.
“--cute. I could just eat her out.”
Patty choked, her fry having jolted to the back of her throat. She coughed violently, tears streaming down her cheeks. Coughing quickly turned to laughter… Mixed with more coughing.
“UP! I SAID UP!”
“You said out,” Patty croaked between coughing fits.
“I SAID UP,” Erin shrieked. “Oh my god.”
“You definitely said out. But either way,” Patty chuckled, wiping away tears. “You got it bad.”
------
Abby finished washing her hands, stepping back to let Holtzmann access the sink.
“I’m sorry I kinda went off on you,” Abby mumbled.
Holtzmann shrugged.
“I’m sorry I sauced your PKE meter. If you make a solution of thirty percent alcohol and seventy percent water, you should be able to get all the sauce off of it without potentially compromising the integrity of the device,” Holtzmann stated, washing her hands methodically.
“Thanks. I guess it’s good that Erin stepped in or I may have bashed your face in and fed you your glasses. Or something.”
Holtzmann grinned.
“Yeah. She’s cute. I could just eat her out.”
“I think you mean up.”
Holtzmann’s brows knitted as she looked in the mirror back at Abby.
“… No. I meant out.”
Abby’s eyes widened and she nodded.
“… And on that note, I’m gonna head back downstairs. But maybe you should let Erin know.”
“Really?”
“I think she likes you, Holtz.”
Holtzmann brightened, her smile spreading so wide Abby temporarily worried she’d hurt herself. The blonde nodded and wiped her hands off on the towel vigorously, excitedly pushing past Abby to get downstairs.
“Maybe you shouldn’t say it just like—“
“Erin!”
A very flushed Erin jumped up from the table. Patty looked startled and out of breath, tears still streaming down her cheeks.
“Out,” Patty whispered, chuckling harder at the smack she got to her arm.
“Erin,” Holtzmann started again, clearing her throat.
Abby covered her face. Here it comes...
“… Yes, Holtzmann?”
“Erin, I would like to eat you out.”
“Oh my god,” Abby groaned.
“Uh… Holtz… Did you mean take her out?” Patty interjected.
“…That too,” Holtzmann agreed.
“I… What?”
“Dinner on me?”
“Literally or figuratively…” Patty mumbled. Erin smacked her arm again.
“Y-yeah. Sure. I’d like that.”
“God, finally!” Abby called. “You owe me fifty bucks, Tolan!”
The End