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What becomes of a world that was once draped in gold and petals of estranged roses?
What will one do if it all turns to sand, melting into the sunset?
Time, memory, entity, all turned to grains of sand, sitting undisturbed in an hourglass.
As time ticks along, to the sound of entropy towards the death of all cosmic species, the sand trickles down the narrow straw...awaiting its futile end
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Three that stood on the stage of golden and red, now one remains, and the rest fall to the ground
The audience waits, as the final one sinks along with its peers, in harmony, of its radiant end
Or would it be so easy to die?
Or to believe you once held breath in your throat like a key you couldn't swallow, couldn't use?
Perhaps a second chance
Only perhaps
⪻────𖤓────⪼
It was a hot summer
A very hot summer
Humid and dreary
Shu never got letters
Who would write to him?
In the state he was in, he was happy knowing he somehow didn't die on the spot.
That day
When Valkyrie lost its soul, its breath choked by the hands of the man who claimed to be an emperor.
A terrible day
He always imagined Nazuna to leave him. Oh how he cherished, yet controlled and twisted him.
A doll. No, a human Shu wished to turn into a doll. The audacity.
Alarmingly, it was Nazuna who stayed behind to keep Shu steady. It was his adorable Nito who stayed behind that day to calm his nerves as the raven ran off into the night like a scared child
A scarred child
Because
It was the bluebird of happiness
It was Mika, who ran away
It hurt more than a defeat
Because Mika was...
...is
The reason, that Shu is no longer adamant at wanting to make a perfect being. Because, seeing the boy jovial and happy, even at being imperfect, at being stupid and immature...
...it makes his dreadful time better
Yes
For everytime Shu sits in sorrow, his guilt swallowing the blood from his skin, he remembers. A small moment. A glimpse from the recent past, where Mika did something funny, or said something dumb, or just smiled.
And suddenly, he feels his soul smile at it
Out of nowhere
Out of the void he lay in
...
An apology would never be enough
Or two
Or three
None would ever be able to compensate for the pain he inflicted, the humiliation he carved into the boy's bones every time he got the timing wrong by a second.
What a pathetic way to end a story
Valkyrie was supposed to end in gold and wine
Not like this
Then again, Shu was never one to stay normal under pressure.
The pressure was too much
And he put it on their shoulders too much
You're the villain of the story you wrote, Itsuki Shu
Whatever will you do about it?
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
"Shu" His mother called from outside his room, "Someone's here to see you"
...
"Shu"
...
"Shu"
"Is it Nito?"
...
"No"
"Then I don't care"
His voice was frail and inconveniently shaky
What a pain
...
"He's pleading"
Pleading?
Who on Earth would plead to see a monster?
"I don't care"
"Dear" His mother sighed, "This isn't done"
She wasn't mad, just tired
And understandably so
Shu hadn't headed out for weeks now
...
"I'm sending him in"
Too late to talk back
Not that he had the energy to
...
The door creaked open
Shu didn't peek from his blanket to see who it was
...
"Um"
Ah
Well, that couldn't be
He's imagining the voice because its who he wants it to be
"m...oshi san?"
He'll admit it, he felt his nerves fluctuate
He tilted his head from under the blanket
"Are ya okay?"
Yes, it was him
But the voice was suppressed and far too collected to be normal
It sounded weakened at the ends, fading out as soon as they left his lips.
But it was, no doubt, who Shu deduced it to be
...
The boy walked closer to the puppeteer who sat helplessly on the wooden floor, clutching to a violet blanket like his life depended on it.
The boy's little confidence faltered and his steps got quieter
He took a long, deep breath
"Can I...sit here?"
...
Shu nodded
The boy sat beside him, close enough to feel the soft blanket on his forearm. It was warm.
A blanket in this heat?
Nevertheless, Mika sat still as a scarecrow, taking his time, looking around
Shu's room
He had never been here, but from what he could tell...a lot went down.
There was a study table, knowing Itsuki, he'd never leave it dusty or unorganized. Yet, it stood unused, books scattered as if left in a hurry. Papers, some sketches he couldn't make out from where he sat, and ink pens.
A hat he remembered well enough to spot from the corner of his eye hung just above the table, asking to worn again.
Mika tensed slightly
The rest of the room was alright, it looked perfect. Nothing out of place.
Weird
He turned to face Shu's face, hidden behind fabric
Honestly, he was glad it was hidden
After the way he ran away, ditching his unit once they lost? He didn't deserve to see it anyway. Atleast not in the state he imagines it to be in.
Because he knows
•°•
"Itsuki hasn't come to school for a while. Or stepped out of his house"
"Ngah? Really? An' since when do ya call him that?"
Nazuna paused, then lowered his voice
"Valkyrie disbanded. So it stopped making sense..."
Oh
Right
•°•
Nazuna cared enough to stick around
What a horrible person you are, Mika
Just terrible
How can you leave someone in distress?
Sure, after much dwelling, he realised Shu wasn't as vivid as he had imagined him to be.
But still
He stuck around for you
So why'd you run?
...
"Do you still live far away?"
Mika was snapped out of his thoughts
"Oh. Uh. Yeah"
A pause
"I see..."
The raven bit his lip in anticipation
"Then why come all the way here"
Fuck
Well
He should've expected nothing less
Blunt, direct questions from his Oshi san
"I- I just thought...maybe..."
"You were reminded of my futile existence all of a sudden"
"No!" He paused, "I mean...that's not true...I was jus'..."
Scared to death
"Its okay"
The softness and weakness was so out of character, that Mika zipped his mouth shut
"I'm..." A pause, "...glad...in any case"
He opened his mouth but closed it again, because the way Shu said it was...real. It sounded painful and fragile.
"...and...I...perhaps owe an apology as well"
Mika would fall apart if he spoke like this any longer
"An apology wouldn't suffice...but...its all I give for now" Itsuki's voice crumbled towards the end, but he took a deep breath, "Once I recover...do come back to me..."
...
"...even if just for a minute..."
...
" 'Course" He said, softly, "Yer Oshi san after all"
Oshi san
Right
There was a faint sign of suppression in his voice
As if someone was choking him from speaking
And Shu didn't like that one bit
Perhaps, because he remembers doing the same
"Am I really?"
Mika looks up at the blanketted figure
"Y- Yeah. Of course"
"Valkyrie is no more" Itsuki said, taking a shaky breath, "So you don't...have to call me that"
No more
That cracked the glass that held Mika's heart ever so strongly
"Thas not...entirely true"
...
"Nazuna nii is still here fer ya right? So...that means Valkyrie's still here with ya...in...a way" His confidence died halfway through
But you're not
"Valkyrie...was three people, I recall last"
"..."
He heard a small sniffle
Oh no
Shu lifted the corner of his blanket to glance at the boy beside him.
Mika was quick enough to turn the other way, hoping his miserable face wasn't visible for a second.
But he realized he couldn't keep hiding forever, when the blanket rose above his head and fell to his shoulder...and a dark violet hue surrounded his vision.
He couldn't see much, with the blanket on and his eyesight blurry, but he could feel.
And he felt calmer
Must be the perfume
He's known it too long to forget
An arm weakly slithered around his shoulder, pulling his cheek down to a shoulder he knew. The perfume echoed stronger now.
And then, with the privacy of a private curtain, he weeped
Knees tucked in, face leaning on his former leader's shoulder and soft fabric draped over his head.
He cried silently, still too embarrassed to let his face out of his comfort.
Arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Then Mika gave into the sorrow that held him like a mother, and cried freely. He cried, as a hand not his own, ran through his dishelved hair, slowly grazing down to his damp cheeks.
He felt his heartbeat get steadier, slowly, but surely.
The top of Shu's head met Mika's from beside him, and it was the best form of indelible sadness that had ever radiated from their hearts equally.
☆
"Nazuna nii told me ya don't go outside anymore" Mika asked, his voice still carrying his tears
"I don't" Shu replied, eyes glued to the floor
...
"I didn't used ta either..."
Shu allowed himself to glance sideways at Mika for just a second, before he looked to the floor again.
"But...then I kept feelin'...so guilty" He shivered, "I kept thinkin'...yknow..."
He sniffled
"Wh...What would Oshi san be doin'? What would he say if...if he saw me like this. All..." His voice shook, "...torn apart an' pathetic..."
He wanted to reply, but something told him Mika wasn't done yet.
"...he'd say...he'd tell me ta get up an' work. Ta be productive...ta not waste..." He stopped when his words faded into nothing.
...
"I would say..." Shu began, "...no...I will say...that you're brave"
Mika's eyes widened to a dangerous degree as his eyes snapped to Itsuki's own.
"...you're not...beyond repair. You've done so much, and worked so hard and..." He paused to breathe, "...and you've been so kind..."
He paused again, and his voice came out in shivers
"...you've been too kind to me"
Mika held his urge to break into tears again
"It's okay...that you're tired, and you feel that you...that you can't do it anymore. I can't do it anymore either. I've failed you. I've failed both of you. And, I've failed myself"
He rested his hand on the raven's warm forehead, pushing his hair back.
Then he smiled, as softly as he could
"But, you can do without me now. You don't need a puppet master, Kagehira. You're human. Wonderfully, lucently human"
Human
As Mika's eyes glittered with love and grief, he was pulled into an embrace once again. Dissolving his regret into the warmth pooling in his heart.
...
"...so stay a bit longer...stay with me, Kagehira"
"...'course I will"