Work Text:
1997
It was the most non-threatening thing in the world: a wedding invite.
Weddings were supposed to be fun, and special, and something that brought everyone together no matter what had happened between them in the past. It was a chance for redemption for not just the couple getting married, but for the families - for mingling and getting to know each other.
And getting really wasted.
And fights.
Mack was usually the first person to get excited about this stuff. He'd help with planning and technical stuff, offer his bartending skills for literally nothing just to be there- he'd tell all his friends about it and help mail invites.
Not this time.
He hadn't spoken to his sister since 1984, and yet she'd somehow tracked him down and sent him a wedding invite, so now Mack was laying in bed in a shitty little motel room in outer-Milwaukee, Wisconsin, two days away from Connie's wedding.
His date was sleeping on the floor- okay, well, not his DATE date but still his date, because Connie had asked him to bring someone, but it…
Mack didn't know what it was. It was Elwood, just Elwood. He had been working so hard this year, he really hadn't focused on relationships outside of getting to know his coworkers. Elwood was one of his newer coworkers who had coincidentally become like family to him. No, that sounded rude. He was just Elwood.
And Elwood was sleeping on the floor.
And Connie was getting married. And Mack wasn't.
"S'not like I'm interested in it, anyway," He whispered- to no one in particular, just the ceiling.
He looked to the side where the little alarm clock-radio was sat, flashing red on and off on the bedside table.
2:00 A.M.
The rehearsal dinner was today. Like, tonight, the coming day. Mack couldn't get his mind right.
"You'll be fine," That one was to himself. "They're not gonna shun you for coming back. You were invited."
"Hm?"
Mack very nearly jumped, sitting up and squinting ahead of him. At the end of the bed Elwood had sat up, confused, eyebrows raised.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" Mack whispered. Elwood shook his head and stretched a little.
"I couldn't sleep,"
Of course he couldn't sleep, he was on the floor. Elwood was too stubborn about the floor though, insisting he take it as he paid for half of the room so he gets to choose his half.
"Elwood," Mack.
Elwood looked back over.
"Can I uh…" Mack didn't know how to word it. He had two things he needed to say, but he just… Didn't know.
"Do you think it's too late for us to turn around and go home?"
That wasn't something too insane to ask of, wasn't it? Mack never had to be so nervous back in Illinois.
"Like, do you also miss Cab and Buster?" He hated this sort of guilttripping thing he was doing right now, he hated putting Elwood on the spot, but Mack was so nervous. He didn't even know if his family even liked him anymore; especially after the summer and all that news coverage that had definitely outed who he was and where he worked and who he associated with.
"I do," Elwood didn't seem phased. Shit.
"I wish we coulda brought Buster with." Of course, Elwood.
"Yeah…"
Uncomfortable silence. Silence amplified only by nervousness- the silence where it was too hot but your body was too cold, where the air was thick and it felt like the person across the room looking at you knew everything you were thinking at this very moment.
Except this was Elwood across the room; Elwood who always had the slightest hint of what was happening with Mack. Usually this was swapped aswell; usually it was Elwood all nervous and jittery and Mack would be the person to grab him by the arm and drag him into the grocery store or something.
Elwood, who always understood, or at least tried to understand.
Elwood, who was stood up now and heading to the door in his stupid fucking boxers and tshirt and his sunglasses that'd just been put back onto his face.
Mack followed wordlessly, putting his glasses on, grabbing the room keys and shuffling out the door with Elwood, toward the balcony out front that overlooked the parking lot.
The night air was crisp, quiet. The lights of the city shone toward the horizon like some sort of artificial sunrise, comforting in a way. The city Mack had grown up in felt like it was within arm's reach, that strip of glowing lights hiding behind the trees. His family was back there, probably at his parents' house asleep, nervous for the day to come but a different nervous than the nervous that Mack was feeling.
A flick, a little glow next to him and the smell of cigarette smoke started to grow. Mack turned. Elwood was leaning against the railing looking at the city lights too, cigarette in his mouth. He noticed Mack and looked over, offering him one from the beat up packet he had snuck out with him.
"Since when did you smoke?"
"I haven't since like, 1978," Elwood frowned, almost regretful. He knew he shouldn't have picked this up again and he knew Mack knew he knew.
Mack took the extra cigarette though, stuck it in his mouth and held it up to Elwood's lighter.
It tasted horrible. It was so fucking horrible and so fucking bitter but it was just what Mack needed right now. He needed something like this, he thought, coughing after taking a drag of it.
"I haven't since 1978 either," Mack hissed.
They fell into a comfortable silence this time though, something more lenient but still strict. He had to talk about this.
Elwood looked so calm though, so with-the-night. The cold air wasn't bothering him, his hair was tousled and sticking out everywhere like some strange auburn bird's nest. Mack impulsively smoothed his hair back.
"I'm so nervous. I'm so, so nervous," Mack began, "I haven't seen my sister- I haven't seen my family in thirteen years."
He took another drag of the cigarette.
"I haven't told them anything about the summer, I haven't made any attempt to clear it up or tell them what's happening with me. I mean, they've never asked, but I still don't know what to expect, really."
Elwood was listening, silent, smoking next to him.
"I know I've missed a bunch of stuff though, y'know, since Connie's getting married," Mack frowned. "I'm forty-six years old and I haven't dated anyone since I left home- I haven't really gotten close enough with anyone on a significant level until you."
Elwood raised an eyebrow. Mack sighed.
"I'm significant?" Elwood.
"Of course!" It was a no-brainer on Mack's end, the though bringing him a little more out of the pit he'd dug himself into. "You- El, I've figured out so much about myself since the summer," He looked down at the cigarette in his hand while Elwood took his own out of his mouth, tapping it against the railing a little.
"Same, uh- well," Elwood shrugged. "You've helped me a lot."
"Mack,"
Mack looked at Elwood.
"I've been freaking out about missing stuff aswell,"
"Yeah but you couldn't help it! You were in prison, I ran away from home, I…" Mack had done a great deal of trailing off during this conversation. There was so much to think of; so many things happening but at the moment there was only one thing happening. Right now there were only two people, not a group and certainly not a wedding-sized crowd of people. Just Mack and Elwood.
"You couldn't help that." Elwood sounded a little stern, a little worried, a little bit of everything. He crushed his cigarette out on the railing and flicked it down onto the concrete below.
Mack sighed and decided to do the same, looking back out at the city lights.
"Y'know," Elwood.
Mack looked over.
"You're, uh, the first person I really got close to since," He shrugged. "Since Jake died."
"Elwood?"
"Different close, like, something else."
Mack didn't know what he felt at the moment; it was like the nerves and the worry were starting to wain, starting to slink away, back to where they came from.
"does that mean you think I'm special?" His voice was barely above a whisper. "To you? Important?"
"…"
"Elwood," Now was not the time for Elwood to get all quiet.
Elwood looked around the balcony a moment, like he was sweeping his surroundings before he stole something or ran off from someone.
"Well, yeah, I suppose you are,"
"El," There was nothing else Mack could say, nothing else that could possibly convey what he was feeling right now.
"Mighty Mack."
That nickname. That fucking nickname! Elwood's stupid fucking face and the way he smiled whenever he said Mack's name like that, the way it was second nature to him.
The way it felt like second nature when the space between them closed, when the taste of both of their shitty cigarettes combined and Elwood's stupid dry lips pressed against Mack's stupid dry lips.
It was something else; the way his worries about the rehearsal dinner and his sister's wedding went away with this, the way the city lights in the distance felt like the brightest thing in the world even though Mack's eyes had closed, and the way the smell of shitty coffee and cigarettes and Elwood's unwashed tshirt and the lingering smell of metal and oil that Elwood always had suddenly smelled much more pleasant than it ever had before.
Mack hadn't even noticed during, but when they had pulled apart, he was gripping Elwood's hand in his. Tight.
"Did I?" Blown out blue eyes met the shadows of mismatched brown and green ones behind sunglasses.
"Did you?" Elwood.
"Did you initiate that or me?" Mack asked.
Elwood had no idea. The way he was looking at Mack, eyebrows raised and lips in a thin line like he was about to say something. It didn't come though- and Elwood looked like he didn't really care about it anyway.
Home was such a strange thing- the city he grew up in was such a strange thing. Mack looked out at the horizon. Milwaukee was within arm's reach and Chicago was already clasped in his clammy, nervous-no-longer-nervous hands.
He looked back up to Elwood, catching him glancing down at his watch. He looked back up at Mack; this soft look that meant it was late, that meant that it was okay, that meant that Mack was special, that Mack was loved, that Mack was someone.
"El?"
"Yah?"
"Can you please not sleep on the floor?"
"…"
Mack was someone who had his someone, who had his people. He had the band, his coworkers back at Willie's, he had Elwood and Buster and Cab and Mother Mary. He had Chicago waiting behind him and Milwaukee waiting in front of him.