Chapter Text
The tolling of bells resonates throughout the kingdom, cheering drowning out any trace of hidden displeasure.
Petals fall from the highest windows, covering all those walk by.
Knights kneel and bow with subtle smiles on their faces, showing the utmost respect to the royalty that they serve.
Out from the castle walks Aoyagi Toya, the crowned prince.
He walks with his head held high, greeting all that came to see him.
Behind him, the king.
Today was a very important day; the king was stepping down, passing the title to his youngest son, Toya. The responsibilities were initially planned to go to his eldest, but with both of their sudden leaves, it fell on Toya.
So, there they stood— awaiting for the ceremony to begin.
Once the trumpets played their song, the announcements start, and the oaths are promised to be kept.
Toya kneels to his father and the crown is placed upon his head. He stands, faces his subjects, and bows.
He was now king.
The country was his; he holds the power.
He is above all.
As the ceremony comes to an end, Toya collapses to the floor of his bedroom, crown crashing against the hard floor.
He lets out a heavy exhale, expelling all of his false confidence.
This wasn't supposed to be his job.
He never wanted to be king.
He doesn't like telling people what to do, he doesn't like the responsibility of upholding an entire country, and most of all... he doesn't want to marry someone he doesn't love.
He has someone he loves, but he knows they will never be allowed to marry. He may be king, but even he cannot stray from his duties.
He must marry a woman to continue his lineage.
Simple, right?
It should be.
Except for the fact that the one he loves...
...is a man.
Not only that, but he is the kingdoms most trusted knight— Shinonome Akito.
It's a known rule that soldiers cannot marry into the family in which they serve.
It's simply impossible.
As he sits on the floor in exhaustion, there's a knock at his door.
"Your majesty? May I enter?"
Toya shuffles off the floor, grabs the crown, and places it on the bed. He made sure he looked presentable before clearing the throat.
"You may."
The door cautiously opens and the very knight Toya was thinking about enters.
"Good evening, your highness." He kneels before the king before standing.
"Akito... you don't need to treat me differently now." Toya sighs.
He and Akito had been best friends since they were young. Things got a bit messy when Akito became a royal knight, but they always tried to remain close.
"But you're the king now, Toya." Akito chuckles. "It's only proper, no?"
Toya groans. "In public, only. When it's just us, I don't care how you treat me."
The knight huffs a quiet laugh. "I'll take your word for it.
"Thank you. So... why are you here?"
"Oh, right." Akito clears his throat. "Your father wanted me to notify you of the royal ball that's coming up."
Toya sighs and falls onto his bed. "Already?"
"Yes. I was told that there will be multiple possible suitors for you to find, as well."
"...right."
Akito tilts his head. "Do you... not want to meet them?"
"Not really." Toya remains honest. "It's not something I exactly look forward to."
"Really? I was told that the royal ball was something every prince and princess dreams of. Finding their true love and dancing around as those around them watch in envy."
Toya scoffs. "You watch too many plays. I doubt it's even close to that special."
"You never know if y'don't try, right?"
Toya shifts his eyes, blushing as Akitos accent comes out.
Toya knew Akito was from the countryside, but he rarely lets that part of him out for the sake of remaining professional. However, he secretly adores the way he speaks when he's not forcing a mainland accent.
"Yeah... I... guess I can give it a try."
"That's the spirit!" Akito chuckles. "Shall I go inform him of your answer?"
Toya nods, the knight bows, and the king was left alone in his room.
"Suitors, huh..?" he sighs and lies flat against his bed, staring up at the decorative ceiling. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get Akito out of his mind.
All he wanted was his knight.
He knows it's wrong, but everyone knows that the forbidden fruit is always sweeter.
As the day comes to an end, Toya falls asleep; once again dreaming of the life he could've had.
Days pass and his contact with Akito has grown less often. He's been so busy with work that he hasn't had any time to himself.
Wake up,
Work,
Write and sign mostly useless paperwork,
Visit locals,
Have dinner,
Sleep,
Wake up.
Every day it's the same thing.
He's already tired. All he wants is to rest.
Before he knows it, he's getting dressed for the royal ball he's been dreading.
"You look wonderful, your majesty!"
"Thank you, Mrs. Akiyama. You've surely outdone yourself once again." Toya gives the tailor a bow and a smile.
"You're too kind!" She blushes and turns away with a giggle. "I bet you'll have all the princesses dancing their way over to speak with you!"
Toya attempts to keep his smile from faltering as he forces a laugh. "...yeah. That's very likely..."
"Hm?" She tilts her head. "Your majesty... I apologize if I overstep, but... do you... not wish to find a suitor?"
Toya jolts up. "How did you..."
Her expression softens when she realizes she was right. She looks around to make sure they were alone before speaking. "May i ask why? Most royalty look forward to this day."
Toya glances away. He knows his secret would be safe with her, she has a wife. But... should he just say it like that?
Maybe... he doesn't need to be too specific.
"I... have someone i love already." He sighs. "However..."
"He's a man, isn't he?"
Toya bites the inside of his mouth as he nods.
"Oh, your majesty..." she places her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry..."
"It's alright." He takes a deep breath and stands tall. "I... I have duties to fulfill, an-and i..." his lip starts to quiver, "I must..." he feels the lump in his throat get higher, letting out a shaky breath as tears fill his eyes.
Seeing this, Mizuki rushes to lock the door and return to his side, rubbing his arm.
"It's okay... let it out. Even kings need to cry sometimes."
Almost immediately upon hearing her words, Toya breaks down and sinks to the floor.
"I— I love him so much..." he sobs, Mizuki calmly rubbing his back.
"I can tell. It'll be okay. I mean... you're the king. Technically, you can marry whoever you want, no?"
Toya shakes his head. "N-no, i— i can't—" he chokes on his own words before continuing, "I need to g-get a wife, a-and have kids—"
"You don't have to do anything. Sure, it's always been that way, but... you have the power to change that now."
Toya slowly looks up at her, almost ashamed to be so weak in front of the royal tailor. He's the king for crying out loud!
"...you think so?"
"I know so." She smiles. "Of course, if you still don't want to tell him, you don't have to. The choice is yours at the end of the day."
Toya thinks about her words carefully. She's right, he could change the rules, marry Akito, and live happily ever after.
...but he can't.
Father wouldn't allow that.
Father may not be king anymore, but he still controls Toyas decisions.
If Father wants him to marry a woman, then he must.
Either way, he nods. "...right. Thank you, Mrs. Akiyama."
"It's no trouble at all, your highness." She smiles at him. "Now..! Let me fix up your makeup!" She helps him stand and pushes him onto the chair so she can make him look less like a man that just had a breakdown over another man.
Once he was settled, he takes a deep breath and enters the ball room.
As always, he was welcomed with a grand entrance, three suitors standing at the front, bowing deeply.
Kanade from the Yoisaki kingdom, the only child.
Nene of the Kusanagi kingdom, also an only child.
And Saki of the Tenma kingdom, the youngest sister.
He automatically knew he would not be marrying Saki, he's always seen her and her brother as his own siblings; though it is nice to see her again.
Naturally, he chose to dance with her first.
"You look lovely today, Saki." He holds her hand out for her to take, which she does with a bow.
"As do you, Toya." She places her hands properly and they begin their dance, the other women taking their time with other men for the time being.
"Saki... surely you know you're like a sister to me, yes?"
"Of course i do." She giggles. "Tsukasa just wanted me to say hi."
"Oh? He didn't join us tonight?"
"No... he had his own kingly duties to attend to." she says with a pout.
"That's unfortunate... it would've been nice to see him."
"I tried to ask him to come, but he said he had to visit the sorcerer."
"Kamishiro?" Toya tilts his head. "He seems to speak about him often."
"Right~! I think they're in love~!"
Toya stumbles over his feet for a moment, catching himself before they could fall. "...The king?"
Saki nods. "Mhm! He said he didn't want to marry a woman, so... he's not."
"He... really said that? He was brave enough to do something like that?"
"Yeah! He's the king, he can do what he wants, you know?"
Toyas eyes fall for a moment. "...right."
"Toya..? Are you alright?"
He looks back up at her. "Yes, I'm alright. I... may have slept wrong last night."
She can tell he was lying, but can't just ask about it at such a public event.
Their time together soon came to an end, and he moves to dance with the second lady, Yoisaki Kanade.
She very clearly did not want to be there. She was stumbling, constantly fidgeting with her outfit, and trying her best to keep a conversation on things she wanted nothing to do with.
"Ms. Yoisaki... may I ask you a question?"
"Y-yes?"
Toyas eyes drift to her necklace. It was too specific to be a single object.
"Do you... already have a suitor?"
Her eyes widen. "H-how did you know that?"
Toya smiles. "Your necklace. It's not obvious, but I can tell there is someone out there with a second half, correct?"
She sighs. "Yes... it's a secret, but it's one of my knights. She's always been so kind to me..."
No, this couldn't just be a coincidence, right?
The king of another kingdom is in love with another man.
The princess of another is in love with her female knight.
What are the chances that both of them were doing the things he's so scared of doing?
Surely... it couldn't get any stranger.
At least, he hopes it doesn't.
He moves on to Nene.
She seemed the most genuine about becoming a possible wife.
Keeping proper conversation, being polite, seeming interested in what he has to say.
There was just... one thing he noticed.
Her eyes kept drifting to the side.
Turning one turn, his eyes landed on the same thing— person as hers.
Otori Emu, the kingdoms baker.
"Ms. Kusanagi, are you... perhaps interested in Ms. Otori?"
Nene jolts up. "Wh-what? No, I... I'm not. What makes you think that?"
"Perhaps... the way you keep looking over at her."
"Your majesty, i— even if i am, I cannot court her."
"Why so?"
"She's a lady. As am I."
Again?
The third issue he's having, the third lady is as well.
"Well... I see no problem with that." He spins them back over so she could glance over at the pink haired girl. "I say you go for it."
"Are you serious?" She questions. "What about you?"
"I..." Toya looks up, eyes immediately locking on Akito standing at his post, glancing back at him. Once their eyes lock, Akito turns away. "I think... I will be alright. You should go talk to Ms. Otori. I believe she'd like you." He ends the dance and lets her go.
She gives him a smile and curtsy. "Thank you, your majesty."
With a nod from Toya, she hesitantly walks over and begins talking to the girl. By the look of it, it was going well.
He smiles at the sight despite feeling... jealous.
Nene can happily speak with the one shes interested in.
Kanade freely wears couple necklaces.
Tsukasa openly denied marrying a woman.
Why can't he?
With a sigh, he walks to the balcony to get some fresh air.
"Hey," a quiet voice calls out.
Toya instantly recognized it.
"Hello there, Akito."
Akito smiles as Toya turns around.
"Are you enjoying the ball, your majesty?"
Toya eyes fall. "I... do not think I'll be marrying any of those princesses, if that's what you're asking."
"Why so?"
"They..." he looks behind Akito at all the women smiling at their partners for the night, "They already have ones that would love them better than i would."
"Is that so..?" Akito walks closer. "What makes you say that, hm?"
Toya feels his heart begin to face a Akito approaches him. "I... I just have a feeling."
"Well, I'm sorry you did not find your bride tonight." Akito reaches the edge, standing by the kings side.
"Is alright. I didn't want to find one anyway."
"Your majesty... may I ask you a question? It's been on my mind for a while."
Toya grips the bar of the fence before nervously nodding.
"Even when we were younger, you never seemed particularly... interested in having a lover. May I ask why?"
Toya swears he felt his heart trying to jump out of his chest. What was he even supposed to say to that?! 'Because I've been in love with you for the past ten years'?! He can't just say that, especially not there.
"Maybe... I just... haven't found the right one yet." Toya glances at Akitos hand that sits just inches away from his on the fence. He wanted to hold it— to hold Akito.
"No, you have." Akito denies, "I can tell. Is she... just... not here tonight? Is that the issue?"
Toya shakes his head.
"Then, what is it? You used to tell me everything... what changed?"
"I did." Toya replies without missing a beat. "I changed, and— and in a way that... is less than acceptable."
Akito stands there in a shocked silence before speaking. "...what do you mean by that, Toya?"
Oh, his first name.
Akito is the only member of the royal staff who is allowed to use it.
Toya gave in to it every time.
"You're right... I have found someone. It's just that..." Toya bites his lip before continuing. "They are not... aware of it... I think."
Toya hears the knight let out a heavy breath. "Right. Well... whenever they figure it out, what'll you do?"
"Nothing." Toya looks down at the town below him. "There's... nothing i can do."
"...yeah... I get it."
The sudden change in Akitos tone made Toya turn to look at him. His head was lowered and had a defeated expression on his face.
"Akito..?"
The knight straightens himself out with a shake of the head. "Yes?"
"Are... you alright?"
"Yeah, 'course I am." Akito fakes a laugh, "I... I gotta go back. I wish y'luck, Toya." He bows deeply to the king before rushing off and disappearing umongst the crowd of people.
'Strange,' Toya thinks. 'He only lets his accent out around me... why? And— why did he run off like that?'
With a heavy sigh, Toya heads back inside to continue 'looking' for suitors and dancing with anyone that asked.
Hours later, the ball comes to an end. Akito hasn't been seen since he ran away.
Toya has no idea why he was acting like that, but he doubts Akito would be telling him any time soon.
So, he went on a walk in the flower field, waving to those that pass by on their way home, lovers in tow.
Once there were no more onlookers, he kneels down by a small patch of sunflowers— Akitos favorite flower.
"...I'm sorry, Akito." he whispers, gently caressing the petals. "Maybe I'll find the confidence to tell you one day... but not now."
Before he could shed anymore tears, he returns to his room and falls onto the bed with a groan.
"I'm so ridiculous." he scoffs. "Getting all worked up over someone I can't even have."
He shakes himself out of his thoughts and gets ready for bed.
◇
It's been three weeks, and he hasn't seen Akito once.
Even when he actively went looking for him, nobody seemed to know where he was either.
No, they knew.
They won't tell him.
He was getting both frustrated and worried. Akito would always be around at least once a week, so to not see him at all? Something was definitely odd.
Either way, he couldn't just start a nationwide search for one knight that he could easily replace in a few minutes.
All he could do was wait.
One night as he was writing a letter to a neighboring kingdom, there's a loud bang at his door. He flinches at the sound but remains quiet, fearing a possible attack.
"Tou~?"
Toya immediately freezes. There was no way.
"Tou' can— can I come in..?"
The king rushes to the door and swings it open.
Akito.
He looked... horrible.
Clothes dirty and put on wrong, hair messy and flying in every direction, and he absolutely reeked of alcohol.
"A-Akito? What happened to you?"
"Hey~" the knight giggles. "You— hic— you look nice~"
"What..? Akito, did you... drink?" Toya grabs the knights arms to stabilize him. "You never—"
Akito falls forward onto the king, lips dangerously close to Toyas neck. "I missed you."
"Where... where have you been?"
"Hidin'." Akito nuzzles closer. "Didn't want y'to see me like t'is..."
"But... why?"
Without warning, Akitos lips begin to leave small kisses along Toyas neck and shoulder, hands holding the kings waist.
"Akito..?" Toya attempts to push him off, only to be shoved back onto the bed. He watches as Akito locks the door before crawling over him. "Akito, wh-what are you doing..?"
"Tou'..." the knight whispers, "Who is it?"
"Who... is who?" Toya holds his hand at Akitos shoulders, keeping distance the best he could.
"The one you love." Akito prys the kings hands away, holding them on the pillow above his head. "Who is it?" He glares down at Toya with furrowed brows as if he wronged him.
Toya felt his heart starting to hurt. What was Akito trying to do? What will he do if Toya tells the truth? What if he lies?
"I— I can't—"
"Please." Akito begs. "Tell me. I need to know."
Toya knew he was absolutely helpless here. Sure, he can tell Akito what to do, but... not when he's absolutely hammered like this. Not to mention that Akito is much stronger than him.
"It... it's wrong." Toya turns away.
"Toya..." Akito lowers himself to be just inches away from the kings face. He uses one hand to hold Toyas in place and the other to turn the king to face him, holding his chin tightly. "You have no idea how badly I want you."
Toyas face heats up. "...what?"
"God, I—" Akitos eyes travel across Toyas face, as if trying to memorize it. "I couldn't stand seein' you dance with those women. I should've taken you right then on that balcony— let everyone know that you're mine."
"A-Akit— mph?!" Toyas lips are suddenly captured in a messy display of emotions. He could taste the alcohol as Akitos tongue practically forced its way down his throat.
Any other day, he likely would've dreamed of that... but not now.
Not when Akito is drunk out of his mind, forcing every movement.
He tries all he could to escape, but nothing was working.
He didn't want to hurt Akito, but... it's his only option now.
So, he kicks up between the knights legs with all his strength, making him groan and pull away. Toya took that as his chance to shove him away and off of the bed, sending him to the floor.
"Wh-what are you doing?!" Toya yells, breaths heavy as he wipes his mouth.
Akito, curled up with hands his between his legs, couldn't seem to answer.
"I-it's you, okay?!" Toya cries.
Wait, when did he start crying?!
"It's always been you, but— but this isn't how it was supposed to go! Y-you can't just—" he chokes a sob, "You can't just... do whatever you want to me..! Even... even if you feel the same." He looks down at the knight with a dangerous mix of fury and pity. "I don't know if what you said was true or just your drunken mind, but... I don't think I even want to know anymore..."
Through his tears, he sees Akito look up at him in fear.
Why is he scared?
He shouldn't be the one upset about this!
"Leave." Toya orders.
"W-wait, Toya, i— i didn't mean to—"
"Get out!" The king yells, making the knight flinch.
Akito looks down in regret before standing and running out of the room.
Once his footsteps were no longer heard, Toya sinks to the floor. He continues to sob into his knees even louder than before.
This wasn't supposed to happen.