Chapter Text
Klein had been trying to keep out of the actual fighting. He was perfectly content with just assisting with his revolver and perhaps the odd charm from a safe distance. The actual apprehension of the Beyonder suspected to be behind several disappearances was best left to Royale and Leonard, since they were actual fighters and not a measly Sequence 9 support. In fact, now that they'd found the man, Klein's job was basically over.
Unfortunately, staying at what should have been a safe distance meant that when the half-crazed man took a massive leap towards the exit in an attempt to escape, he landed entirely too close to Klein and entirely too far away from any backup.
Klein turned to aim his revolver as the man turned to aim some kind of… cat toy? at Klein. He’d squeezed off his two last chambered rounds before even realising that perhaps dodging should have been a higher priority, hitting the rogue Beyonder in the shoulder and torso just as he himself was blinded by a bright light from the cat toy (presumed) artifact.
“Klein!” Leonard shouted over the pained moans of the rogue Beyonder and the thumping footsteps of what was probably him and Royale rushing over to help. Klein was still blinking away the afterimages of the bright light, but he trusted his coworkers would be worried enough to rush to his side without visual confirmation.
A loud thwack of skin violently hitting skin and a muffled thud of—presumably—someone hitting the floor rang through the old warehouse before the rogue Beyonder’s whimpers went silent. Klein finally blinked away the persistent dots of light, but it was as if the entire world had gone dark. Had the artifact blinded him?
“Klein, are you alri-…” Royale said, trailing off ominously before she could complete her sentence.
I’m fine, I’m just blinded, Klein said—or thought he did—but what came out was simply “meow”.
What?
Suddenly, the darkness disappeared. Leonard—who for some reason holding the hat Klein had been wearing—was staring down at him, shock and bafflement clearly visible on his face. Royale, peering over his shoulder, uncharacteristically wore a similar expression, eyes wide with surprise.
Even stranger, they both seemed to have turned into giants.
What’s going on? Klein said, but again, the only thing he could hear was a plaintive and confused meow. Klein hurriedly looked himself over to determine what was wrong. A single glance was enough to notice black fur covering tiny legs and paws where his arms and hands should be. Frozen in shock, he stared at his paws before slumping in defeat.
Well, fuck.
“The effect is temporary, so he should turn back into the Klein we know in a few days,” was Old Neil’s conclusion after studying both Klein and the cat toy artifact.
Klein, Leonard, Royale, Captain Dunn, and every available coworker currently on duty, Beyonder or otherwise, sighed in relief. Really, hadn't they anything better to do? Admittedly, Klein would also have wanted to know the results immediately had this happened to anybody else, but that didn’t make the whole affair any less mortifying.
Not only was he a cat, but he’d been carried back to Blackthorn Security Company in Leonard’s arms.
Klein had always figured he would much rather be the arms of a female coworker should any situation desperately call for it, but he doubted he'd ever be able to look Royale in the eye again had she been the one carrying him. There simply weren't many secure and comfortable ways to carry a cat that didn’t involve the cat being pressed quite closely to the person’s chest, and any alternatives were either equally mortifying or required too much coordination for someone getting used to a different body.
The moment they'd entered Blackthorn Security Company, Rozanne had squealed in delight and cooed over how cute Klein-the-cat was, rushing over to pet him. Until she noticed that Leonard was only joined by Royale carrying an unconscious Beyonder, and no Klein.
Her squeal had been loud enough to attract Captain Dunn, Seeka and Mrs. Orianna, who’d all been given quick explanations on the way to place the rogue Beyonder securely behind Chanis Gate for later interrogation, before everybody had crowded into the armoury where a baffled Old Neil awaited them.
Which brought Klein to his current situation, curled up as small as he could make himself on the table, embarrassed and miserable, ears flat against his head—and wasn't that an odd sensation—surrounded by coworkers slowly going from worried to relieved.
At least it was only Wednesday, so he would hopefully turn back before the next Tarot Club meeting. He wasn’t sure if it was even possible to go above the grey fog in his current feline state. Or whether he’d still be a cat there if he did. Any dignity or respect The Fool might command would be gone instantly if he were to interact with the members as a cat.
“Klein, you understand what’s happening, yes?” Dunn asked, and Klein simply nodded with a sad meow. “Unfortunately, you can't go home in your current state, so you’ll have to stay here, and whoever is on duty will take turns to keep an eye on you and take care of you until you turn back. Leonard, inform Klein’s family that he’s been suddenly called away, and will be back in a few days.”
Leonard nodded and turned to leave, before Seeka hesitantly spoke up. “Captain, should we also get some cat food? And a litter box, perhaps?”
Klein’s head snapped up to stare at her in shock and horror. Everybody else froze as well, before Dunn sighed, massaging his forehead as if trying to relieve a sudden headache. “Leonard, if you could handle that on your way back?”
“Of course, Captain,” he replied, his voice shaking with mirth. Klein glared at him as he left, and vowed to make the rude poet his scratching post at the first opportune moment.
“Now, out of the armoury, everyone,” Old Neil said with an exasperated smile. “It’s hardly suited for cats, or social gatherings.”
Everyone started to file out, civilians first. Klein stood up, padded to the edge of the table and looked down. The floor seemed awfully far off. He meowed pitifully, and to his surprise, Dunn gently picked him up and placed him on the floor before he had even started planning how to get down. The captain really was dependable aside from his memory.
“Oh, I forgot. Old Neil, are you done analysing the artifact?” Dunn asked and got a confirming hum in return. “I’ll bring it to Chanis Gate, then.”
The conversation faded as Klein followed everybody else out of the alchemy room and headed for the recreation room, since it would probably be the most comfortable place to spend the next… however long this cat business would take.
Seeka, who’d been walking ahead of him, kindly held the door open so he could slip in.
He meowed at her in thanks and headed for a soft couch seat that was currently tantalisingly bathed in sunlight, jumping with an acceptable amount of grace, at least for someone who’d only been a cat for a few hours. He settled to bask in the warmth of the early August sun. If he had to deal with the embarrassment of being a cat for the next few days, he was determined to at least also enjoy the perks, such as lazing about and having the surrounding humans act as his loyal servants.
Well. The ones that annoyed him, anyway. So far, Leonard was at the very top of his list. With Seeka right behind him. Litter box, really! Were all Midnight Poets this terrible? A soft chuckle interrupted his musings, and he opened a single eye.
“You make for an adorable cat, Klein,” Seeka said with a smile, and Royale—who’d settled in a nearby chair—nodded firmly in agreement, leaning closer in obvious interest. It was quite possibly the most animated Klein had ever seen her be about anything.
Madam Reideen, do you perhaps like cats? Did you start working here to save up for a future as a cat lady with twenty pet cats?
Klein had no intentions of getting involved with any of his coworkers, but he still couldn’t help having mixed feelings about being more popular as a cat than he’d ever been as a human being. Although as a seasoned keyboard warrior, he probably shouldn’t be surprised. Cats reigned supreme online, after all.
“Would it be terribly weird if I pet you?” Seeka pondered after a moment, hesitantly reaching out. “Logically, I’m well aware you’re still Klein, but you’re a cat. How could anyone ignore a cat that’s right in front of them, all soft and cuddly? Even a Beyonder couldn't become that inhuman, surely.”
It would definitely be weird. Maybe even workplace harassment, had Emperor Roselle brought that concept into this world. Perhaps he didn’t out of fear he’d be the first one accused, Klein joked privately. And yet, I can’t really fault your logic. Cats simply have that effect on people.
Klein nodded his permission with a soft sigh, to twin delighted squeals.
Wait, twin?
Before he could even grasp what was going on, Seeka and Royale descended on him with clever fingers and soft cooing. Am I ticking off the box for another transmigrator cliche? Harem heavy petting? Somehow I feel this isn’t quite what all those web novels had in mind…
Making light of the situation was much preferable to actually thinking about how utterly weird his coworkers were being. He wasn’t accustomed to his personal space being so thoroughly invaded, at least not over such a prolonged period of time.
His discomfort quickly melted into a quiet pleasure, however. How odd, that being scratched under his chin or behind his ears should feel so good. He was confident that had anyone done that to him in human form, he would have smacked them with his cane. Repeatedly.
With a gasp, Seeka pulled back. “Oh, this would be the perfect plot for my next novel! The protagonist, cursed into cat shape! Picked up from the miserably cold rain by a gruff, yet handsome lord! Their families in a feud spanning generations!” she proclaimed, all but dancing through the room, before settling in a chair with a notebook and pen, scribbling furiously.
…Do you have some sort of telepathic connection to an Earth website of fictional tropes? Klein wondered.
When Leonard came back a few hours later with a small mountain of cat goods in his arms, Klein was utterly exhausted. Rozanne and Mrs. Orianne had also come by to pet him, and he’d eventually fled to the top of a bookshelf to get away from all the attention.
He was grateful that Dunn was apparently immune to the feline allure, since having his boss come by to pet him would have been a bit too weird. And telling him no when he hadn’t refused anyone else would have been equally awkward.
“I think I managed to get everything,” Leonard said as he put this purchases down on a nearby table.
Well, it certainly looks like you bought everything in the entire pet shop, Klein thought, as Seeka and Royale joined Leonard in unpacking the truly startling amounts of cat paraphernalia, exclaiming in delight from time to time.
Really, Klein was only going to be a cat for a few days, surely there was no need for all of this?
Eventually, they got to the cat toys—and was that a shirt-and-tie collar??—and Klein hissed loudly in displeasure. He was not going to play with cat toys. Or wear a collar. Especially not what was clearly supposed to be a humorous one!
“Ah, so that’s where you went to! What are you doing all the way up there, Klein?” Leonard asked with a smile thrown in Klein’s direction, before he turned back to the table
“I think we may have overwhelmed him a little,” Seeka admitted with an awkward smile. “He ran away from the petting.”
“Come now, Klein! That’s hardly any way to treat a group of beautiful ladies,” Leonard joked, and pulled out a blue box. “Now, where do you want your litter box?”
Klein yowled in protest, and he could feel his hackles raising, which felt unbearably odd. He didn’t want a litter box at all! How could he conduct his… private business in the middle of the recreation room?! He might presently be a cat, but he still had perfectly normal human sensibilities!
“Klein, you can’t possibly expect to use the bathroom as usual when you can’t even open the doors to get there, much less use the damned things,” Leonard argued sensibly as he walked over to the bookshelf, litter box in hand. Klein hated how he was probably right. “Now, how about we place it on the corner here? We could place one of the dining chairs over it, and drape a blanket on it so you’ll have some privacy.”
Klein grudgingly meowed his agreement and watched Leonard set up the box; cat sand, chair and privacy curtain.
Leonard stepped back to admire his handiwork before looking up at Klein. “There, how’s that?”
Well, it wasn’t as if Klein could tell from the top of the bookshelf. And while he’d never admit it, he actually hadn’t been certain how to get back down. But if Leonard was going to conveniently position himself perfectly for being used as a stepping stool, Klein had no intentions of missing the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone; get down, and get revenge for both the laughing, the cat toys and the collar by stepping on the poet’s face. Claws first.
Klein leaped, and Leonard yelped and staggered backwards as he got a faceful of cat. His hands immediately came up to support Klein’s weight—probably less for Klein’s safety and more because he was hanging on by claws alone.
Carefully, Leonard unhooked said claws from his hair, face and shoulder, and settled Klein in his arms.
“That wasn’t very nice, now was it?” he said reproachfully, ignoring Seeka’s muffled snickers behind his back. Klein replied with a low, growling meow. “Such a feisty little puss! Have you been hiding this side of you all along? You always struck me as a gentleman.”
I am not a puss! Klein protested—or rather, yowled—indignantly and dug his claws into Leonard’s shirt and the skin underneath. His jacket was likely too thick to pierce properly, so this was the more strategic target.
“Ow! Stop that! Do you keep daggers in those paws?” Leonard exclaimed, and attempted to unhook Klein’s claws again. This time, however, Klein was fighting back, so he had a much harder time with it. “What’s prompted this, I’ve done nothing but help!”
“Probably the collar,” Royale suggested.
“But it was so adorable, how could I possibly resist!” Leonard protested, and got agreeing hums from the ladies. Klein hissed. “Besides, you’re always so dapper, Klein, surely you’d want to continue to dress well even as a cat?”
Somehow, Klein didn’t believe Leonard’s claims that the collar was for his own benefit. He hissed again and dug his claws in more firmly.
“The cat toys might also have something to do with it,” Seeka suggested helpfully.
“Well, we wouldn’t want our poor Klein to be bored for the next couple of days,” Leonard argued. Klein bit his fingers. “Ow! Okay, fine, I’ll admit that some of the items I purchased were for my own amusement, but surely you must see that this is a bit funny.”
If you find this so funny, I’ll ask the Captain to turn you into a cat next. I’m sure we can claim it as research, Klein thought darkly and bit Leonard’s fingers again.
“Truce, please! How about a treat as a peace offering? I bought plenty,” Leonard said and headed towards the table of cat things, apparently looking for a bribe. “And no, Klein, you can’t have human treats, we can’t be certain you can eat human food safely in your current state. Cat treats will have to do.”
How is that a peace offering? Klein grumbled. He couldn’t possibly imagine having to eat cat food. In fact, even starving might be better than that. It was only for a few days, after all.
“How about some liver pâté? It’s quite the delicacy, I’m told,” Leonard suggested, and deftly plucked a small tin from the mountain of cat food and toys, bringing it closer so Klein could inspect it. He sniffed at it, but it unfortunately only smelled of the metal of the tin itself.
Klein begrudgingly nodded his agreement. At least it seemed similar enough to something humans could conceivably eat that it likely wouldn’t be too unpleasant. Had Leonard pulled out a bag of dry cat food, Klein would have bit him again, and harder this time.
“Wonderful,” Leonard said, and gently lowered Klein to the floor before going to a nearby cupboard for a plate. Klein stared after him in shock. Surely he didn’t expect Klein to eat on the floor, where people’s boots dragged in Goddess only knew what?!
With a huff, Klein padded over to the nearby coffee table and jumped up. Sitting back expectantly, he licked his lips and waited for Leonard to finish plating the pâté. Seeka and Royale both appeared to be snickering at him—albeit with different levels of subtlety—but he chose to ignore them.
Leonard turned around with the dish, quickly scanning the room and lips twitching into a smile when he found Klein. "You would put your feet on the table, Klein? I'm shocked."
Watch it, Klein meowed in warning, and he could feel his ears move backwards in displeasure, a sensation he doubted he'd ever get used to.
"I'll find you a small towel later to wipe your paws on," Leonard said as he put the small plate on the table. The towel was a nice consideration, really. Wiping his paws would be nice, since once again, Klein did not want to know what had been dragged in on this floor.
Klein hesitantly leaned closer, taking a careful sniff of the cat food. It smelled appetising enough, all things considered. He took a tiny, experimental bite. He would have preferred more seasoning, but the rich, fatty taste of the liver on its own was enough to not make the pâté too bland. Chewing with cat teeth was a very different experience than chewing with human teeth, so Klein was also grateful that it was soft enough to mostly melt in his mouth.
"Is the meal satisfactory, Your Majesty?" Leonard joked as he settled on the sofa. Klein fixed him with a searching look, attempting to discern if there was some sort of trap hidden in his words.
It'll do, he finally meowed with a regal nod, before going back to his meal.
Leonard laughed. "I'll take that as a yes, then."
As the day and evening went on, the Nighthawks trickled away, one after the other. Some to take over shifts at Chanis Gate or the armoury, others to go home.
The recreation room felt entirely too large, cold and empty with just him there, in a way it had never been when he was human. Perhaps it was due to his smaller size. Perhaps it was due to him not being here by choice. Either way, it set his thoughts spinning to all the things he normally avoided thinking of. All the things he missed. All the worries he normally sat aside in favour of focusing on his goals.
Klein curled up tighter on the sofa, wedged in the corner between the armrest and the backrest, with only the ticking of the clock for company.
Suddenly, the door creaked open, and Klein's head shot up, immediately alert. Not that he truly expected any intruders—who would be stupid enough to burgle a security company?—but it was still an instinctual response.
Leonard walked through, carrying a boxed meal from one of the nearby restaurants. He settled on the sofa next to Klein in a slouch, the boxed meal in his lap. In a spectacularly poor display of table manners, he started eating right there!
Klein stared at him in shock. Partly over the fact that he was eating his dinner (?) on the sofa instead of at the perfectly serviceable dining table, and partly over the fact that he was there at all. Had he not gone home?
"No, you still can't have any human food, Klein," Leonard said with an amused glance, before he went back to his meal.
Klein's tail lashed once in annoyance that Leonard would assume he was begging for scraps. And annoyance that he couldn't have proper food. Leonard just laughed at him.
"I do hope you don't mind the company, though. I tend to spend my evenings here."
Do you truly spend your evenings here normally, or did you come back for my sake, pretending otherwise so I wouldn't feel indebted? Surely you have other obligations and interests? Even if you don't, wouldn't you be more comfortable at home? Klein mused, unsure of whether he should pity the poet or be grateful.
Either way, it was an improvement over thinking he'd be alone until morning, so he felt at least some gratitude. Then he remembered the collar, and most of his goodwill dissipated.
Leonard quickly finished his dinner so quickly Klein doubted he'd even tasted it, and pulled out a pen and notebook. With a thoughtful look, he'd scribble something, then pause. Scribble, pause. Scratch out, pause, then run a hand through his hair in a frustrated manner.
Curious, and with nothing better to do, Klein got up and moved closer to look at what he was doing. Perhaps he was working on a case? Not that Klein could really offer any help or suggestions at the moment, but still. If it was still an issue when he turned human again, he could offer his suggestions then.
The page was an absolute mess of aborted sentences, single word questions and lists of keywords. There was nothing mystical about any of it, though, unless Leonard was writing in some kind of code.
Is this… poetry? Or should I say an attempt at it? Is it possible to be this bad at it, though? Perhaps I shouldn't call you a poet from now on, not if you're attempting to rhyme 'smile' with 'case file'.
Klein gave Leonard a judgemental look. At least it was better than trying to read any more of that eyesore on the notebook page.
"What?" Leonard exclaimed defensively when he noticed Klein's gaze. "Can you do any better, then?"
How? I am quite literally a cat, Klein meowed, pawing at Leonard's pen to prove his point.
Leonard blinked at him in confusion, before nodding in understanding. "Yes, I suppose being a cat would complicate matters. But once you turn back, I demand a poem! It's not as easy as you clearly seem to think."
I'm confident I can at least do better than 'your radiant smile can get me through a case file', Klein scoffed, curling up to sleep. Cats were supposed to get plenty of sleep, weren't they?
Leonard was a pleasant heat source next to him, so much warmer than attempting to become one with the sofa cushions. Soothed by the heat from Leonard's leg and the soft scratching sound of pen to paper, Klein quickly fell asleep.