Chapter Text
Celphius isn’t clueless about relationships. Really, he isn't.
Sure, maybe he didn’t exactly grow up in the most normal family ever, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know the signs of a healthy and happy relationship, especially when it’s two people he cares the most about.
Before Mom came along, he was mostly alone. Auntie came around occasionally (and was always overly affectionate, so he wasn’t missing any of that) and Grandmother was there enough for him to recognise her and know her to an extent. Other than that, it was just him and his Grace. No problems there, of course, his father is adequate, to say the least – but he’s not Celphi’s favorite, either.
A tall, broody, dark man who barely speaks and is scared of women. Fine as a parent. But for Mom? Pereshati Lapileon? No way. He’d never be enough.
If it was possible, Celphi would have run off with her without his dad the very moment she arrived, no hesitation. It was almost laughable how quickly he fell in love with her; well, no one could blame him. She was practically perfect. Her brains, her kindness, her brilliance stood out to him everyday and he could have never asked for a better mother. After years of living as an orphan, he could not believe how lucky he was to finally be her son.
Which is why Celphi will never, never understand his father’s actions. Or their entire relationship, really. Because, imagine: you meet a beautiful kind woman who you, practically on the first meeting, manage to kill violently with your poisonous blood, but because she’s an absolute saint, forgives you and agrees to get married and move in with your weird, dysfunctional family until you save the world or whatever.
That’s a pretty crazy story.
To be fair, his father has lived quite an eventful life recently. Quite different from before, when he barely talked to Celphi. It was like he had to beg for his attention, or something. (Which he didn’t do, by the way. He has dignity, thank you very much.) ‘Cause now, he’ll praise him and fill him in on nearly all of the family drama – the other day, he even gave him a head pat for his hard work at school. A head pat!!
So, safe to say, Celphi’s been feeling pretty good lately. Not too long ago, he and his parents were invited to his friend’s house and they got to read books and play together while the adults had their boring little conversation in the other room. It was so much better than his old dull life back in the countryside. Best of all, he actually felt normal for once.
But still. He wants his parents to pick up the pace a little!
A few days ago, he heard one of his classmates talking about their new baby brother on the school field. Apparently, he’s only a couple weeks old and can’t even talk yet. Celphi’s never met a baby before, but if they’re anything like puppies, then he’s surprised that it’s taking so long for it to talk.
Whatever.
He doesn’t think babies are all that important anyway; when Islette moved in with them, she wasn’t a baby. Actually, she wasn’t even that much younger than him and it was definitely a lot more fun hanging out with her than a tiny human that can’t even speak.
That being said, Mom and Dad never really talk about babies. He’s been told that his real dad died when he was a baby and that his mother moved away and couldn’t take care of him so his uncle became his dad. It’s a shame that Mother wasn’t there from the beginning but oh, well. At least she’s here now.
He wonders if, now that they’re married, Mother and Father will have a baby themselves. Because it seems like the usual course of action. Sure, he’s not an expert himself, but—
He’s read books, okay? He knows what happens. The man and woman meet. The man and woman fall in love. They get married. They have kids. Then they have their Happy Ever After and all is well.
It’s just… the process seems to be going too slowly for Celphi’s liking.
At first, he thought they’d fall in love immediately. Then… he found out that his dad had actually killed his mom multiple times. One of them being on purpose. After that, he kind of gave up. Well, that’s not true. In fact, he tried to convince his mom to leave his dad. To his credit, it was the valiant thing to do; if she stayed with them, she’d be in danger. Even with him, as much as he would not like to admit, she’d be in danger. His blood is poisonous, whether she was immune to it or not.
He doesn’t have to worry about that now, luckily - none of them do anymore. All thanks to his mom, really. His family will be eternally grateful to her.
So the big question is: why doesn’t he have a younger sibling yet? Are they not in love? Because – okay. He knows that babies are a lot of work and tiring (his classmate told him that) but surely it can’t be that bad. He’s seen his uncle balance being sick, taking care of Islette, and being the family’s primary doctor all at once. Really. Having a baby can’t be that hard.
But when he tries to convince his parents otherwise, they’re reluctant to see his side of things.
“Well,” Mother sighs with a sympathetic smile, “it’s not that simple.”
“Why not?” He huffs. “I know it’s simple. I mean, I don’t know about taking care of it or anything, but Marphilus at school said you don’t even have to do much to make one – you just hug or something.” He shrugs carelessly. He wasn’t listening very carefully to the details, to be honest.
On the other end of the table, his Grace coughs into his hand rather suddenly. “More or less.”
Mother glares at her husband for a short moment, then turns to her son. “Celphi, what.. started this? Why do you want a baby all of a sudden?”
He scoffs. “I don’t want a baby. I’m saying you should have one.” No one seems to understand him these days.
His parents blink at him and exchange a look. He doesn’t know what that means. They’re always being secretive around him— like they have anything to hide! He’s ten years old; not a child. He can handle whatever they’re thinking.
Father sighs and cradles his own head in his hands, looking every bit unamused as he sounds.
“We’ll talk about this later. Just focus on eating your carrots for now.” He tsks. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you leaving them on your plate.”
Celphi groans.