Chapter Text
cut.. scratch.. cut.
It was the middle of the night. More specifically, around one in the morning.
On the other side of the dorm, an uma with a brown bob haircut and notable large round eyes was passed out, completely asleep. This was Cafe’s roommate, and she was scared that the other would wake up to this cutting noise. The other was completely curled up in her bed, probably dreaming about being the perfect city girl. Cafe wished she could do that as well.
The cutting and scratching noise was coming from Cafe herself. She wasn’t just cutting anything, she was cutting herself with a simple pair of scissors she found lying around. Although it wasn’t the cleanest, and definitely wasn’t the sharpest, it sure as hell did leave a mark. That was all Cafe worried about right now. She didn’t think about how clean or sharp this supposed weapon was. She was too focused on harming herself to even notice these things about the scissors.
With a fluid motion, a tiny scar formed on her arm, near her wrist but not quite there yet. It was dumbfounding that such simple scissors could do such a thing. This was when Cafe looked outside, the racetrack was nearby. She could not stand running on that again. Not just because of an injury, but also because something happened that she wished to forget.
The dorm consisted of two beds. The one on the left belonged to Cafe, while the other belonged to her roommate. Most of the things in every dorm came in twos. Two nightstands that sat on the right of each bed, closest to the window in the middle of the two beds. Two desks standing at the foot of the bed. Facing the wall, they could be used as a nice study space at times. Two ottomans next to the right of their beds for no apparent reason. Two of quite literally most items that resided in this dorm room, as well as the others as well.
Cafe’s roommate shifted in her bed. Despite being on the other side of the room, Cafe quickly stopped what she was doing to look directly at the bed. Her roommate was still asleep. Cafe was absolutely terrified that her roommate would wake up to this constant cutting and scratching noise, only to find out that she was harming herself. Even if the roommate wasn’t necessarily “friends” with Cafe, she still deeply cared. It would be heartbreaking to see one harming herself.
Cafe found a bandage in the drawer of the desk on her side of the dorm. She put it on the wound she created, making sure she didn’t accidentally touch an injured scar. After this, she closed the drawer and sat down on her bed quietly. After all of that relapsing (yes, she has done this before), she lay down in her bed, trying to return back to sleep.
If only that race never occurred.. If only she wasn’t scheduled to participate..
None of this would have happened.
Not a relapse. Not more cutting. Not wasting a bandage on some stupid cuts.
"Cafe.."
The roommate, otherwise known as Yukino Bijin, put her hands on Cafe’s side, shaking her so she would wake up. Yukino was already in her uniform, and if Cafe didn’t wake up soon, both of them would be late for their classes.
"Cafe..!"
With a forceful shove, Cafe snapped out of her sleep. She slowly turned onto her back, looking up at her roommate with a groggy expression. It suggested to Yukino that Cafe didn’t sleep well the night before.
"Huh.." Cafe mumbled as she adjusted the bandage on her scars. "Yuki, I’m trying to sleep."
"We’re goin’ to be late if you don’t get up!" Yukino explained, her voice in a rush. "I told City I was goin’ to be there early today.. whoops.." She ran off to grab her bag as Cafe slowly rose from her position, getting up and putting on her uniform.
"Anyways, I’ll be seein’ ya there, Cafe!" Yukino exclaimed as she walked out of the dorm, shutting the door behind her.
Cafe didn’t want to wake up. She especially didn’t want to go to school today. She didn’t want to learn about that now god-awful sport they call racing. She really couldn’t care less of she was late. Not now, not ever again.
Today was weird. In the mornings, she could usually hear her friend talking to her. It wasn’t anyone that came to this academy. It was a little voice in her head. A ghost, if you will. It was sort of like a shadow that would help her get through her days, easy or hard. Today, however, no matter how much she called to it, it didn’t seem to matter.
What had she done to get rid of this friend? Last time she checked, she didn’t exactly remember doing anything terribly upsetting. It sounded obsessive, it really did, but she seriously couldn’t go on without her friend to talk to her.
She dismissed these thoughts. Maybe her mental struggles were getting to her head, and she needed a cup of warm, not black tea. She hated black tea with a passion. She would much rather have a warm coffee instead.
She grabbed her coffee mug. It was simple, a white mug with the silhouette of a black cat’s head in the center. Below its head was a yellow bowtie. She found the simple, black teapot and poured the coffee into her mug. She took a slow but steady sip. This was a cup of simple, not black tea.
Suddenly, as she set the mug down on the table, the memories began to rush back into her mind. With her friend, those memories wouldn’t come as easily, but where was she now? Her friend just couldn’t have.. disappeared, right? That wasn’t possible.
"That race.. never happened," Cafe whispered to herself as she looked at her mug on the table. "I hate racing.. that’s all I’ll say on the matter.." Now, she was talking to her friend, hoping there would be some sort of response. Whether it be a simple distortion of space and time, or something else, she pleaded for a response.
Of course, nothing came this time. It was odd. Cafe was not used to this.
She made the decision to not go to class. She was already late by half an hour. There was no point in showing up now. "I’ll just go see Tachyon.." She changed out of her school uniform and into something casual. She put on a cream-colored blouse paired with a long, flowy, black skirt. Under the skirt was a pair of black tights. Luckily, her blouse could easily hide her scars from the night before. She didn’t want Tachyon questioning them anyway.
Grabbing her mug off of the table, she opened the door and went out into the hallway. She tried to look ominous, so someone didn’t catch her and get her in trouble for skipping. There was no need to do this, though. She was ominous enough.
Unfortunately, this may have been a bad time to go to Tachyon’s dorm. She was all the way in the Ritto dormitories. It sure was going to be a journey to make it there, and her chances of getting caught may be higher now.
"Ah, Cafe," Tachyon began, looking towards her depressed friend. "I’ve noticed you’ve skipped school as well. How come?"
"I woke up late." Cafe said. "Yukino.. she tried to wake me up."
"Yukino Bijin?" Tachyon asked.
"Yes. That one." Cafe confirmed.
Agnes Tachyon was always a curious uma. She was always evaluating things, whether it be a certain someone’s running style, or maybe her own, she was never not looking closely at her desktop. Recently, though, there’s been something off about her too. Maybe it’s a bit of a worry-like feeling for her friend. Nobody quite exactly knew much about her.
She turned her swivel chair around to face away from her desktop for once. Looking Cafe dead in the eyes, she motioned for her to come closer.
Of course, Cafe complied.
"Are you missing school because of your hatred for running?" Tachyon asked.
This question stung Cafe in the chest a little. It was already known that, yes, she hated racing with a passion now. Tachyon wanted to delve deeper into Cafe’s issues, as she usually would.
"No." Cafe lied, her ears pointing down. "I don’t hate it."
"I can see right through you, you know." Tachyon smiled at this fact.
Cafe, however, did not seem to like this move very much. "You.. you don’t have to worry. It’s okay. I have my friend by my side."
"Are you sure?" Tachyon asked once more, just to make sure.
There was a short silence after that. Cafe looked absolutely miserable as she looked down at Tachyon, who was still sitting down in her swivel chair. Cafe took a slow sip of her coffee before responding again. "Yes.."
With the mug still in her hand, Cafe walked away from Tachyon and out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Tachyon stared for a few minutes before slowly turning back to her desktop.
"Depression.. medication..” Tachyon said to herself as she looked something up. On the main page of the search engine were three bottles. They all costed around the same amount of money, around 25 dollars, or 3,950 yen in Japanese terms. There really wasn’t much on her screen. The search engine probably thought she was looking forward to her own death.
After looking at that, she then searched up all of the races that have occurred in the past week. It was currently December, so that meant some very important races were coming up. This did not help very much. Looking at all G1 races, the last one that Cafe could have possibly entered would be the Kikuka Sho. It wouldn’t be that long though. She was not depressed back then.
Other than that, pretty much nothing was happening. The only things that were there were some more G1 races that did not fit Cafe’s aptitudes. Maybe her trainer made a bad scheduling move and assigned her a race that did not fit her aptitudes..?
No. It couldn’t be.
By now, Tachyon was scrambling the internet to find the cause of her friend’s depression. Her search history was concerning. There could be no possible reason that Cafe was actually depressed unless.. Tachyon found something that could go to use.
There, right in front of her, was all of the graded races suitable for long turf runners. That was what Cafe was. She looked through all of the races that were there. It was currently the beginning of November, so maybe—
Jungle Pocket ran into the room. She seemed worn out. "Tachyon! I just got out of training with Fuji, and I feel so good!"
Pocket wasn’t usually the one to run to Tachyon after training every day. Small beads of sweat fell down her forehead. She was still in her training uniform, her jacket was unzipped. She crossed her arms and stared at Tachyon’s computer for some time before continuing. "Look at you, staying in all day.." She walked closer to her friend. "What’s up with you lately, huh." She said that more like a statement rather than a question.
"I’m just.. looking at things," Tachyon said. "Cafe’s not in a good mood, so I’m trying to help."
"Not.. in a good mood?" Pocket asked. "Tachyon, she’s barely in a good mood. She has her friend, I’m pretty sure."
"No," Tachyon typed some more things. "She’s lying to me. She said that she does not hate racing, but I know that’s what’s causing all of this."
"The Kikuka Sho happened almost a month ago. There’s no way, after a whole month, you’re just getting into all this." Pocket argued. "Don’t you get into that stuff sooner?"
Tachyon found the recording of the race. She motioned Pocket to come closer.
"Welcome everyone, to this year’s Kikuka Sho," The girl announcer said. "Today’s track is quite firm. This will be easier for some of our racers."
"The favorite is, obviously, Manhattan Cafe," The boy announcer continued. "She has been doing quite decent in running up until now, so the crowd is hoping she will win today."
The camera zooms in on Manhattan Cafe mentally preparing herself in the starting gate. She finally gets into position.
"All umamusume are ready at the starting gate." The boy announcer said.
There were a couple seconds of silence. After that, the gates snapped open and the race began.
"I.. I have to win," Cafe thought. "I’m the favorite.. after all."
Some of the racers in front of her spread out. This gave Cafe an advantage. Jungle Pocket and Dantsu Flame, umas she was familiar with, were in this race too. The rest were strangers.
"Manhattan Cafe speeds up," The girl announcer continued. "Jungle Pocket and Dantsu Flame seem to be doing the same here."
…
"Moving onto the third corner," The boy announcer tells the crowd. "Manhattan Cafe is still trying to find a spot to get ahead."
"I feel something.. slipping away." Cafe thought. "Please stay.. I have to win."
As the race went on, the fourth corner was right ahead. Cafe was trying her hardest to get something within her to stay. She was too focused on the race to notice.
Somebody else passed her.
"Meiner Despot moves ahead!" The boy announcer cheered. "Meiner Despot is now in the lead!"
"Manhattan Cafe seems lost," The girl announcer said worriedly. "I hope she finds her focus again."
This Meiner Despot person was now ahead of the pack. Cafe was now struggling to find her way back up front. Something was slipping away now, and she had to notice this time.
"My friend.. where are you going?"
"Meiner Despot! Meiner Despot wins the race! Unbelievable!"
"Air Eminem is second! Jungle Pocket comes in third!"
The crowd in front of her began to cheer. Not for her, but for this complete stranger who may have been at fault for her friend slipping away.
"Where are you?" Cafe thought. "Tell me you’re still here.."
Cafe thought deeply. Even so, her friend didn’t respond. How had she been so close to being first, but lose her friend in the process?.. Cafe sighed a hard sigh and left the turf behind. Jungle Pocket and Dantsu Flame looked at her darkened form as she walked away.
"So that’s why she’s all depressed?" Pocket asked.
"Indeed," Tachyon said. "You saw that too, right? I’m sure Dantsu was just as concerned as you were."
"Yeah, I guess." Pocket answered.
"Speaking of Dantsu," Tachyon continued. "Can you bring her over here? I want her to see this, too."
"Got it." Pocket walked out the door and shut it behind her before running down the hallway, as usual.
…
About ten minutes later, Jungle Pocket came back into the dorm. This time, Dantsu Flame was right next to her. She had a worried look spread all across her face. Pocket looked at her and nodded, signaling confirmation. Dantsu ran over to Tachyon, peeking over her shoulder to see the desktop’s screen clearly. The video played again.
Dantsu could notice the part where Cafe began to lose her focus. "Cafe..?" She said to herself as the video continued on.
Eventually the fourth corner was shown on screen. That was when that stranger, Meiner Despot, passed. Dantsu couldn’t believe it when she was in this race, and she couldn’t even believe it now. Cafe dropped from first all the way down to eleventh in the span of just a couple of minutes. It was no wonder that she didn’t let the race go even after a month’s time.
"No shit Cafe’s that way," Pocket said. "She lost her focus because—"
"Her friend’s gone..?" Dantsu finished.
"Yeah," Pocket crossed her arms again, staring right at Tachyon. "So, what are we gonna do?"
Tachyon had to think this through for a moment. After shutting down her desk top, she turned herself towards her two worried friends. Pocket still had her arms crossed, looking at Tachyon suspiciously. Dantsu still had that worried expression on her face, truly feeling something for Cafe. Tachyon finally stood up from her chair.
"I think we should help her," Tachyon said. "She’s a friend of ours, obviously."
Pocket and Dantsu nodded in agreement and walked out of the dorm together. Tachyon, on the other hand, was grabbing an experimental drink she made for these types of things and walked out shortly after she did so.
Meanwhile, Cafe was facing the wall of her dorm. She lay down on her bed, pulling the blanket over her form. All of this was an effort to hide herself from anyone who dared to come in. Especially her roommate, Yukino Bijin. Her ears were down once again as she pulled the blanket over her head. Could it be.. time to relapse?
Footsteps were heard in the Miho Dormitory hallway. It must be Yukino again, trying to enter the room after hanging out with Gold City and her other friends.
No.. that wasn’t it. There was more than one person coming this way.
The door slowly creaked open. Cafe wouldn’t look at the noise, as she usually would. A figure walked towards Cafe’s bed and sat on the green ottoman that was placed next to it. With a strange liquid in her hand, she used her free hand to turn Cafe around to face her. Of course, it was none other than Agnes Tachyon herself. She mixed the drink around with the one hand that was holding it before stopping, then staring directly into Cafe’s eyes for a few moments.
"Tachy—"
Cafe was interrupted. Tachyon forcefully shoved the bottle to her lips, making her drink the entire liquid. This was nothing that Tachyon would ever do. These actions were only for an important situation. This was important, but Cafe had a look of deep irritation on her face.
"This.. tastes disgusting." Cafe muttered.
"It’s here to help you," Tachyon explained. "Maybe it will bring your friend back for good?"
"No." Cafe turned away after she swallowed the rest of the drink. She sighed, covering up her body with the blanket on her bed. "You can deal with it later."
"Cafe," Tachyon argued. "Me.. Pokke.. Dantsu.. we want to see you get better, okay?"
Cafe thought this over for a second. There was no way they wanted to help in her eyes. They were still racing. She hated everyone who was still racing. After all, that.. and those.. random strangers. They made her friend disappear for good. They completely wiped the soul from her eyes. There was no way, after all that, they’d want to help her.
"Pokke. Dantsu," Cafe said. "Especially you,” Cafe looked into Tachyon’s eyes.
Jungle Pocket and Dantsu Flame looked at each other for a few seconds, then looked at Tachyon, who had dropped the cup that the liquid was in, making a small puddle of light green juice and glass shards all over the floor.
"All of you need to leave me alone. Get out."