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When she was a child, she dreamed. She dreamed about many things; about princes and knights and true love and pretty clothes. She didn’t have many friends, there weren’t many children in the palace that were allowed to or wanted to play with her, after all. But no matter where she was, Aelin could always find home with her books. Sometimes she could be found curled up in the comfort of her bed reading the night away.
Even when Aedion was out training and Lady Marion was busy, Aelin never really felt alone- after all, she always had her books. She didn’t really know how to explain why her books were so important to her; they just were. An escape from reality of a sort. Not that she wasn’t happy with her life. She had her mother, father, uncle, her cousin, Lady Marion, and all the other members of her uncle’s court. Her court.
Her future was unquestionable. One day, she was to become queen and rule over Terrasen like her uncle did. This was told to her many times by many people, to which she responded with nods but secretly, she didn’t want to be queen. In fact, she didn’t really know what she wanted to be at all. Aelin knew she liked pretty clothes and delicious pastries and reading books. Everybody looked at her like what they wanted her to become. A powerful queen who ruled over her kingdom justly, aided by her court of noble warriors and men, burned into history with her wildfire. All Aelin really wanted was to go on adventures and find love like in A Court of Roses and Thorns. Maybe she would be able to do all three one day. But for now, Aelin could only dream.
My name is Celaena Sardothien. I am 8 years old. I am the heir and protégé of Arobynn Hamal, the king of assassins. Someday, everyone in Adarlan will know my name. Someday, they will learn to fear me, a nameless shadow that strikes in the depths of the night.
The more that she repeated that phrase in her mind, the more it felt true. Aelin sat on her bed in her new room in the Assassin’s Keep. A copy of A Court of Roses and Thorns sat on the bedside table. It was one of her favourite books and she had been reading it once she had gotten settled into the Assassin’s Keep. It was a beautiful place, she admitted. And it’s whereabouts were quite smartly placed.
I guess my wishes really came true, she thought bitterly. Maybe it wasn’t going to be horrible. She could only pray and pray and pray that she was going to be okay. She was Feyre and she was on a mission. Aelin squeezed her eyes shut and imagined herself sneaking into the king of Adarlan’s castle and killing him in his sleep. The image of her parent’s bed and the sound of Lady Marion’s screams echoed in her mind and Aelin let out a choked sob.
Blood. The copper scent filled her nose.
RUN! PLEASE! GO!
Aelin covered her mouth as tears began to fill her eyes.
THEY’RE COMING FOR YOU, PRINCESS. YOU HAVE TO LEAVE.
They were so cold. Why were they so cold?
RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN, AND DON’T STOP RUNNING, OKAY?
Wet. A storm was roaring outside. The bed sheets were wet.
THERE’S A BRIDGE, AND AEDION WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE.
Did they die fast? Or did they suffer?
YOU’RE OUR ONLY HOPE PRINCESS. PLEASE.
It didn’t matter. They all still died. Aelin let out a strangled cry of frustration as tears spilled down her cheeks. It wasn’t fair. It was never fair. Aelin always hated her magic, but without it she felt so…empty. Like there was nothing left of her. She tried to summon her flames. Tried so hard to make something happen, to let that horrible feeling take over, to let the pain come back whenever she forcefully shifted.
Nothing happened.
Never had she wanted to feel that pain, that agony as much as she did now. It would mean that the gods were still watching. That they still cared for Terrasen, for the good people of Erelia, for her. But there was nothing left inside of her that cared for what the gods thought. Nothing inside her left but anger and hatred. She would learn to be great. She would be the assassin that everybody hated and feared. Aelin’s gaze landed on her copy of A Court of Roses and Thorns. She reached over and grabbed it, sniffling slightly and wiping her cheeks on her sleeve.
Aelin gently ran her fingers over the cover. The worn leather was gentle and reassuring. Her eyes gently scanned the pages and memories filled her mind once again. Memories of reading with Aedion and sneaking snacks into her room at night, only to be found and scolded by her mother. Memories of a better world. Aelin’s grip on the book tightened and she found her blood boiling inside of her. Furious rage that she tried to contain filled her veins and in a fit she shot up and chucked the book at the fireplace inside her room, breathing heavily. Aelin watched the pages burn and let the crackling sound calm her down. She shook slightly but forced herself to walk closer to the fireplace.
A death surrounded by flames. She wasn’t that princess anymore who dreamed of adventures and love. That girl died once surrounded by her family, died twice in the cold of the winter, died a third time when her fire inside of her was shut out and put away, and died a final time in same fire that once would’ve been the light and warmth for her people.
She was Celaena Sardothien now. Assassin in training and heir to the Assassin’s Guild. One day they would fear her. One day she would rip them all apart.
The knives in her hand were heavy. Celaena turned the blades over and admired her reflection on the sinister steel. Beautiful, but so, so deadly. As fast as lightning, she jabbed the blade upwards before slicing the air in front of her. Today she was to fight Ben. They had previously worked on different blade techniques, how to stab and where to stab, using the blade efficiently, as well as deflecting with the blade. During the last few sessions Celaena worked on combining the different techniques into lethal combinations and countering the person they were fighting.
Ben entered the room with his own set of blades. They stood in the center of the room blades in front of them, poised in a battle stance, ready to attack.
“Ready?” Ben asked.
“Ready,” she responded, inclining her head slightly.
He attacked first, lunging towards her with his blade outstretched. She jerked away, slashing her own blade at him, which clashed against his own. Her moves were slightly sloppier than his and Ben was probably going somewhat easier on her. Celaena ducked as Ben swiped the blade where her head currently was and proceeded to jab him in the chest with her elbow. He slashed, she avoided and returned with some blows of her own.
The fight ended when Ben knocked her legs out from under her and she fell to the ground, panting. Her heart beat so fast and her cheeks were pink with effort. Celaena could vaguely hear Sam snort from across the room, but for once she didn’t have the audacity to care. Adrenaline coursed through her veins and she had never felt more alive. Celaena pushed herself upwards and balanced the blades in her hands. Her eyes met Ben’s and he grinned.
“Not bad,” he commented. She grinned back at him.
“Again,” she breathed. “Again.”
Aelin’s fingers gently traced the books on the bookshelf as she breathed in the scent of bound leather. She smiled slightly her eyes grazed the titles of the books.
Aelin was vaguely aware of Rowan coming to stand next to her, his eyes fixed on her. Aelin’s fingers stopped on a old book, one that she hadn’t bought. A gift from Arobynn then.
“A Court of Roses and Thorns,” she murmured, a small smile gracing her features. She turned over to Rowan, who was still as a statue. She showed him the book and flipped through the pages. “This used to be my favourite book as a child. A girl is taken to a werewolf’s court when she slays his wolf friend and exchanges his pelt for food in order to save her family. She has to complete these horrible trials in exchange for her freedom and ends up finding love with a hot vampire prince and takes her life back into her own hands. She destroys those who try to chain her down and lets nothing get into her way.”
Aelin turned to Rowan, a little smirk on her face. “Sound like anyone you know?”
“Lysandra?” Rowan asked dryly, earning a glare from Aelin. “But for what it’s worth, it’s nice to know that you think of me as a ‘hot vampire prince’,” Rowan remarks with a big smirk.
Aelin almost choked when she heard him say that. “Excuse me?” She said, annoyed. “I don’t know about you, but I-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I know,” Rowan interrupted, smiling at her offense. “All you.”
Aelin smiled and patted his arm teasingly. “And you,” she admitted. “Thanks.”
“I know,” was all he said. It was all he needed to.
She wasn’t a child anymore, but that didn’t mean that she had stopped dreaming. Rather, she dreamed differently. Dreamed for the people who she had loved and the people she still loved. Dreamed for the future and for a better world.
Be strong for the people who can’t. Speak up for those who are silenced.
The world was open to them. It seemed to be calling out to her, beckoning her home. come on, the wild seemed to say. It was as if the forest had reached its arms out and welcomed her into its embrace. Come on.
Aelin traced her fingers along the edge of a leaf as gently as she could and looked forwards, to her court. They were waiting for her, all smiling as they watched her admire the forests of Terrasen. People who loved and suffered but yet still wished and dreamed for the brighter future.
“Let’s go,” she whispered. And so they headed forward, towards their dreams, and for Aelin felt complete.