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centuries of research allowed him to become indifferent towards humanity, any ounce of emotion and desire left within him was discarded. he didn't have a need for such insignificant things serving as a hindrance to his work.
but there was one constant in his life that he could not afford to rid himself of. you.
from his days in the akademiya to gaining the title of harbinger, you were present. he didn't know what to make of it, apart from the awareness that if his weakness were to be revealed, not only will he be damned but so will you.
if his enemies knew of the sole thing that kept him grounded, surely they'd eventually come to drag you down alongside him. you were that weakness.
at first, during your days spent in the akademiya with him, he had claimed that the only reason you were yet to be discarded was because you were 'convenient'. but even after he was expelled from the akademiya, your presence remained constant, and he allowed it.
“throwing this opportunity away is unwise,” he said. “you don't have to follow me wherever.”
“but i wish to, it's what i want,” you stated.
“suit yourself.”
because he thought you were efficient, he said. definitely not because he wanted you to stay, he denied.
until that day came. for the first time during his stay in snezhnaya, the walls of his laboratory felt awfully cold. too empty, too quiet.
your death came unexpectedly. too fast. for days, he stared at your unmoving corpse, attempting to convince himself that you must be playing a cruel joke on him.
but alas, your body continued to decay even amongst the cold. came the day he buried you himself, and his hands trembled when he held you last.
your body has started to rot, but that shall not stop him from bringing you back into this godforsaken world.
"i will bring you back. may this world be damned if i am without you," he whispered. "i shall show them what i am capable of."
—
the world felt brighter than it should be, hindering your eyes from seeing beyond. your body struggled to lift itself off of the bed you laid, but before you could process the sight of your surroundings, you heard the cluttering of lab equipment.
"...zandik?" your voice felt hoarse and you struggled to speak, but it was enough to cause the man in front of you to freeze. he wouldn't typically react this way, but maybe if you were reminded of what exactly had taken place beforehand, you'd be aware of the answer to why.
"(name)," he turned to face you. although his face was adorned with a mask, you could feel his gaze soften albeit only for a moment.
your legs trembled for each step you took towards him, arm slowly rising, allowing your hands to reach his face. the gentleness of your touch rendered him speechless and unable to breathe that he had to remind himself.
"three decades of your absence", he spoke, as he his own hand wrapped around your wrist. "i would have never brought you back had you been anyone else," he confessed.
not with a brief i love you.
not i've missed you.
not even i've yearned for you.
but this. and it was a sentiment you returned, gladly.
"and in every lifetime, through whatever circumstances," you paused, caressing his cheek with a finger. "i'd choose to follow you."