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He Xuan found himself in a predicament. A monumental error, to be precise. He couldn’t shake the feeling of uncertainty about how he would rectify this situation; hell, he was at a loss regarding how Hua Cheng would react to the loans he’d received, loans that had amounted to nothing but a colossal waste.
Maybe taking on the guise of Ming Yi was a blunder. No... no, the real mistake came from him and his reckless desires. Who in their right mind sleeps with their enemy? And worse yet, who falls for them?
Well, apparently, that's exactly what He Xuan did.
Yet, despite the gravity of the situation, He Xuan refused to fully own up to the chaos he found himself in. It’s not like he had any inkling that Shi Wudu could get pregnant. They were both men! What kind of madness was this!? Did the universe despise He Xuan so utterly that it would twist every natural law just to mess with him?
Damn it.
He Xuan inhaled deeply and opened his eyes, diverting his attention from the scroll in his grasp to the peaceful figure resting in his arms.
Shi Wudu lay sideways across He Xuan’s lap, his back gently pressed against He Xuan's supporting arm, cradled with a tenderness that He Xuan seemed unaware of. His head was nestled comfortably against He Xuan’s shoulder, eyes closed in a tranquil slumber, while his legs were extended, with a foot softly resting against the empty space beside where He Xuan sat.
What a troublesome position this is. He thought it would be simpler if Shi Wudu just sat on him and dozed off rather than draping himself sideways.
It would certainly be awkward if any celestial official happened to walk by. Thankfully, the gazebo was tucked away within the private confines of Wind and Water Palace, leaving only the soothing whispers of the breeze and the gentle rustle of water as their companions. Yet, this didn’t lessen the discomfort for He Xuan, who simply wished to enjoy a peaceful moment with his reading.
He gazed at Shi Wudu’s serene slumber, blissfully ignorant of the looming threats surrounding him. At that moment, He Xuan pondered how easily he could harm him; choke him, stab him, render him incapacitated, useless and pathetic.
But He Xuan wouldn’t do that, or rather, he couldn’t bring himself to anymore.
Why had Shi Wudu managed to evoke such feelings in him? Why had he made him so… vulnerable?
Gradually, He Xuan found himself leaning down, drawn to the gentle expression on Shi Wudu’s face; those exquisitely delicate eyelashes, the slightly parted lips, and the cheeks that had taken on a softer, rosy hue as of late.
He remembered falling for the captivating yet elusive Water Tyrant from the moment he seen him. Back then, it felt like he could escape, like he could pull Shi Wudu down with him into the depths of their hell. But now, He Xuan realized he couldn’t extract himself any longer. The distance between them was unbearable; he craved Shi Wudu too intensely to remain apart.
He wanted the tyrant so fiercely, it gnawed at him when he imagined Shi Wudu conversing with other men, living his life independently while He Xuan felt anchored in place.
He longed for Shi Wudu to think of no one but him, to see and rely solely on him. He Xuan yearned to possess Shi Wudu completely.
He didn’t want to share him with anyone, not even with Shi Qingxuan.
"Ming-Xiong! Ming-Xiong!"
A cheerful voice sliced through the air, reverberating with familiarity. He Xuan's eye twitched involuntarily as he leaned back slightly, adjusting his position to draw Shi Wudu closer to him.
With a steady gaze, he turned to see the figure approaching until the wind master paused at the entrance of the gazebo, a broad smile lighting up his face as he took in Shi Wudu's sleeping form.
Shi Qingxuan, in contrast to his brother, had a gentler and more inviting demeanor. His vibrant, ever-cheerful nature made him friendly towards everyone; except, of course, Pei Ming. He Xuan, or as some call him "Ming Yi", have a 'close friendship' with Shi Qingxuan.
If He Xuan were to look back and consider who he have possibility of falling for, his response would undoubtedly highlight Shi Qingxuan. Shi Wudu wouldn’t even come to mind, well, perhaps just a little. Still, He Xuan would rather favored caring for Shi Qingxuan over his older brother.
But here he was, caught in a circumstance he never anticipated. Life really has a way of throwing curveballs.
"Ming-Xiong, how’s Ge doing? I hardly ever see him awake these days, and he’s always with you!" Shi Qingxuan playfully shut his fan and directed it at Ming Yi with a teasing flourish.
He Xuan suppressed the urge to roll his eyes, opting for a measured response instead. "He's fine."
After a moment’s contemplation, he added, "He mentioned that you should probably stop dressing as a woman if you want to avoid unwanted attention from random men or officials."
"Ehhh? No way! You know Ming-Xiong that I love wearing those outfits! Plus, it’s not like I’m going to get harassed. I can take care of myself! If anything, Ge should really distance himself from that womanizing Pei!" Shi Qingxuan shot back, irritation evident on his face as he expressed his disdain for Pei Ming.
He Xuan had heard such sentiments voiced many times before, but surprisingly, this was the first moment he found himself in agreement with Shi Qingxuan. Shi Wudu really ought to reconsider his friendship with that notorious womanizer of a general.
---
He Xuan lingered at the doorway, casually leaning against it, his gaze fixed on Shi Wudu as he moved about with purpose.
He Xuan held many insights about Shi Wudu: his manner of speaking, his aversions, and the places he preferred to frequent. Yet, one thing had always eluded He Xuan, he had never quite managed to uncover Shi Wudu's personal interests or hobbies, apart from his notorious penchant for sinking ships.
But it turned out that even if Shi Wudu had abandoned cooking after his rise to power, the greatest revelation about him was his love for the culinary arts. With his favorite dishes appearing to be an array of fruits and comforting warm soups, an unusual taste for a well-known tyrant; it was no wonder He Xuan had failed to anticipate this aspect of him.
At that moment, Shi Wudu was busy chopping vegetables, diligently preparing their meal. He Xuan was uncertain of the specifics, but he knew that when Shi Wudu was satisfied, he would gladly finish whatever was left on the plate.
Watching Shi Wudu, He Xuan began to understand why Hua Cheng would savor the Crown Prince’s questionable cooking; for a lover, the act of cooking became an expression of affection, rendering any dish a treasure, regardless of its appearance or flavor.
Though the distinction between him and Hua Cheng, however, was stark. Shi Wudu's culinary creations were anything but unpalatable. Instead, they burst with delightful flavors, rivaling the works of renowned chefs in the imperial kitchens.
Hua Cheng might feast out of love, yet He Xuan was fortunate enough to indulge in genuine deliciousness.
Abruptly, Shi Wudu paused his work, turning to He Xuan with a casual inquiry that was neither boastful nor dismissive. "Ming Yi, do you prefer your meal spicy?”
“I’m fine with anything, but are you allowed to eat spicy food?” He Xuan, still known as Ming Yi, responded.
"I'll keep it mild," Shi Wudu replied simply, a hint of enthusiasm evident as he turned toward his shelf of seasonings.
He Xuan stared for a while before he lowered his gaze, his hand tightening into a fist discreetly. Life was undeniably pleasant, yet he wondered if it would still stay so once his true identity was exposed.
He realized he had lingered here too long. The thought of being referred to as "Ming Yi" indefinitely unsettled him; that name did not belong to him. Ming Yi had never been who he truly was.
His real name was He Xuan, the calamity ghost king known as Black Water. Not Ming Yi, the detached Earth Master.
---
The sun casts its warm glow on everyone, while clouds drift across the sky, allowing for a pleasant blend of sunshine and a gentle breeze, keeping the heat at bay. Children laugh and play freely outside, and adults find relief in finishing their work without the burden of sweat. It's a day filled with joy for all.
In a luxurious inn, on the third floor, Shi Wudu leaned against He Xuan, who held him close as they observed the lively scene below. His gaze was particularly captured by the children at play, and he couldn’t help but dream of a day, hopefully soon, when he would have a child of his own, laughing and enjoying days like this.
He Xuan looked in the same direction, yet his heart didn’t share Shi Wudu’s excitement.
He had spoken with Hua Cheng, and the conversation weighed heavy on him. The likely future he faced was grim; either remain hidden behind the facade of Ming Yi for the rest of his days, supporting his children along side Shi Wudu, or be discovered, forcing him into hiding, far from Shi Wudu, as the tyrant would surely reject him.
He Xuan no longer had the desire to live as Ming Yi. Ever since the realization of his love, he found it increasingly hard to maintain the pretense of being someone he was not.
A choice had crystallized in his mind. He would unveil the truth and free himself from this tangled web of lies. As for Shi Wudu, he understood that not all bonds are destined to last, especially not for them, who were never truly meant to belong to each other in the first place.
It was time to put an end to this long years of deception.
He Xuan resolved to spend the rest of his last week with Shi Wudu; after that he would officially take his leave. He could observe from a distance, but Shi Wudu would never see him again.
“Ming Yi?”
Brought back to the present, He Xuan glanced down at Shi Wudu, who peered up at him with a mixture of confusion and concern. Shi Wudu shifted slightly, turning to face him directly before inquiring, “Are you alright? You’ve seemed lost in thought lately.”
He Xuan paused for a moment, before allowing a soft smile to form on his lips as he spoke in Ming Yi's voice, "I'm well. Perhaps it’s just the thoughts of our soon-to-arrive child that occupy my mind. Have you given any thought to names?"
Shi Wudu raised an eyebrow but sensed no cause for concern regarding Ming Yi. Gradually, he dismissed the uneasy feelings that had crept in. After all, it was hard to believe anything could happen wrong with Ming Yi.
"I’ve been pondering names for quite some time now. What do you think about...."
He Xuan listened attentively, a still, cold feeling writhing within him. Would he ever get the chance to hold their child, or would he only ever know their names from a distance?
He wished for a different fate, but with lives so intricately knotted together as his and Shi Wudu's, perhaps it was for the best that He Xuan remained in the shadows, while Ming Yi faded away; the affectionate Ming Yi was merely a facade after all.