love

my world

i love you when you cry,

and i love your blue eyes.

i love when you smile and laugh,

but i love when you frown too.

i love your dyed hair,

and, i love your honesty,

i love, that you love,

i hate that its not me.

i love you, even if,

i also love her.

i love you, even if,

i can never say it.

your my world,

your my heart,

but, she's my life,

she's my hope.

i love, loving,

i have so much.

i love and love,

till i burn up,

and have no love to give.

i love too much,

it's not a bad thing.

fire starter

there's a hole in my heart

and a pit in my chest

smothered is the flames

covered by the cold of others

in my chest an ember burns

as bright as your smile

as soft as your laugh

that hole gets fuller

you start the fire that was

always meant to be

burning as bright as you

a soft warmth in my heart

the hole is gone

the pit is a fire

the anxiety isn't gone

but you are here

I love you too

do you think about me

do i keep you up at night

do i make you laugh and smile

do i make you happy and in love

will you hold me when I hurt

will you hug me when I need

will you buy me food if I'm hungry

will you sing and dance with me

Of course you will

you laugh with me

and smile when i sing bad

you would go hungry

only if it meant i didn't

you would dance in the rain

and cuddle in bed

you smile when i say it out loud

and i always smile with you

in those moments we are free

we aren't broken, we are alive.

winter warmth

the leaves are falling

to the spiders dens

where the beetles roam

and the crickets hide

when the air begins to cool

and the mice scuttle to warmth

when everything slows

and snow starts to fall

when people start to slip

and slide about in the cold

when layers are worn

and warmth is found

when the spiders crawl in

and the mice do to

not a leaf on the branches

when people stay in bed

and don't make amends

when the cold has came

and the warmth slips away

keep me close, and don't let go

I'll be there

people point and laugh

and stare with glares

with coughs like scoffs

and they make scares

when you feel like it doesn't matter

when it feels like there’s only pressure

I'll be there for you, because

being alive matters quite a bit

even when you don’t feel like it

people might whisper and walk

while they make their talks

or people might hug and high five

those they trust, so don’t go dive

when everything crashes and collapses

and worlds flow through and collide

I'll be there to be sure no one relapses

when everything feels like a downhill slide

people won’t be there to pick sides

just fall asleep to the sound of the tides

they say

they say opposites attract

and i guess that's true

because i just feel so right

around you

your so different to me

and it really can’t be

that us together looks

just so true

i have no clue what to say

when you talk about,

well most things you do

but that goes for you too

they say its unhealthy

to agree on everything

but it’s hard to disagree

when i have no clue,

what you say

i trust your truths

and your lies just the same

its not that i don’t know

it’s just that i trust you

we think the same

and so we agree

but that contradicts

everything they say

do they think we wont work

because we talk things through

so they think we won’t work

because we choose not to learn

the others truth

lightning

the light in your eye

is such a pretty thing

when you laugh, and talk

sadly i have no clue what you say

sorry i wasn’t listening

you were just so happy

i know its no excuse

to accidentally cause harm

I'll try better now

i still have no clue

your eyes light up

with that bright blue hue

your so happy

I’m happy too

happy for you

you have such joy

i would trade the sun

just to see your face

once more, with that light

so bright

happy

home

home is where you stand

when your here

i am home

because you are my home

they say a home

isn't a place

its the people there

your my home

my home is nowhere

because its everywhere

home is you and them

home is him and her

home is everyone

who has loved

everyone who loves

me be that you or them

home is my sisters

home is my parents

home is my friends

home is where the heart is

you hold my heart safe and tight

you are my home and you love

so bright

my home is everyone but especially you

happy

I’m happier now

happier than her at least

happy is a weird feeling now

foreign

sometimes a thought passes my mind

I’m happy here it whispers

deep behind the lies

the lies whisper of ruin

the lies are no fun

they whisper away

when I’m lost and alone

"no one loves you", they say

but people do

they stay even though

im not her

they love me for me

i haven't been she for a long time

and yet they love me for me

not who i used to be

but for who i will be

Space

i take up your space,

im allowed to right?

sorry if im not,

do you want me to go?

you always say its fine,

but are you really sure,

i really don't want to bother you.

oh you don't mind, okay, i think?

i take up too much space.

At least, that's what some say.

you don't say that, it's new,

or it's not, i don't remember.

sorry i don't think i heard right.

your telling me its okay,

it's okay i take up so much space?

i don't believe you but you say to stay,

so i suppose it's okay,

to take up space,

to make a place,

i suppose it'll be okay.

"When I Am Gone"

by Tony doig (dad)

I may return as a bird in the sky,

a soft blade of grass beneath your feet,

or a gentle whisper carried by the wind.

You may not see me,

you may not hear me—

but you will feel me.

Not on your skin,

nor in your bones,

but deep within your beautiful soul.

And when you do,

please remember—

though I have ended this journey

and left this vessel behind,

another awaits me.

For I am not gone,

only changed.

sleep well

when the lights stop buzzing

and the walls go black

sleep welcomes you back

a crushing weight is lifted

right off your back

when the walls close in

and the lights are too bright

dream away in a place that is safe

when dreaming is the only thing safe

and your body feels tight

drift off into the artificial light

when you wake up

and the walls have stopped

and the lights are silent

and your place is safe

when you wake up

I'll be there waiting for you

spirited

when the spirits laugh

its like wind-chimes in the breeze

and when a memory passes

and it feels just too real

spirits are there to guide your way

when the spirits feel

it's volatile and sharp

like the smell of mint in the cold

but they stay no matter the price

even if it is their life

when the spirits are there

and you can see

they are no little ghost

they guide your way

through life and the sorts

when the spirits help

it's through unspoken words

and when you feel nothing is left

the spirits will be there

for ups and downs

highs and lows

the spirits will love all that come their way

magic

there's leaves on the trees

and leaves on the floor

there are boots on the ground

and skeletons on the doors

there life all around

and sweets to be found

there are birds in the air

going elsewhere

there are a chill in the air

and costumes built with care

knock knock, whose there

a child given a dare

houses decorated with webs

skeletons on doors

and so much more

pumpkins outside

with light that glares

the freedom of children

so much time to spare

from afternoon to night

the spookiness is there

when the bird song has changed

and the leaves fall down

leaving trees bare, nothing to be found

when that chill gets stronger

and the air starts to frost

people are not sad, for hope isn't lost

hope isn't lost when people sing all these songs

hope isn't lost when children think the magic is strong

hope isn't lost from when winter time starts

when the magic is real

so is the day

kids will remember

old Christmas day

little things

the pavement dulls the life

with the greys all mixed in

no joy found in the rocks

or the sidewalk chalks

there’s joy in the music

the noise we can make

with guitars or drums

with our voice and thumbs

there is joy in the movies watched

and the snacks that get snatched

in the sweet treats and feats

in the popcorn now long gone

there is no joy in the lows of life

in the widespread truths are lost

so look in the corners or the couch

for the little gems, memories that count

the taste of that one thing you like

or the warm fuzzy feeling you get

look down the edges or in the cracks

for the broken memories and lost knacks

feeling care

life feels different, free like you and me

if feels new and clean, but not too pristine

i talk to people and they really seem to care

its a weird feeling people don’t stare

people caring feels like

like fields of poppies, in salt air

its rare but once you find it

its everywhere

it feels fuzzy, like a blanket

it makes me feel so lucky

like walking through dirt

and not getting mucky

it makes me want to dance through rain

it feels like you would join me, that’s insane

Flow

Go with the flow of the river

Down below

Where the glow stays forever

Go with the growth of your mind

The way everyone thinks your kind

The moment you realize they’re not blind

Go with the times people stayed

And said

Just go with the flow, let yourself grow

Its okay to let go to let yourself grow

When you think your falling below

call out for help and glow

The light that comes so bright

Only comes some nights

If you let yourself glow

neutral

it isn't a loss

losing you isn't a loss

but i miss you anyways

sometimes i lay

and think of the ways

the way you laughed

but didn't

the way i was there

but wasn't

the way i had smiled

but you were crying

dying, you were slowly

dying, causing it all to feel worse.

dying. pretending you weren't

dying. like you were fine,

crying, like you weren't mine.

crying, lost inside and

dying, but you weren't really,

okay. smiling like you didn't wish to

die today like we were all

okay were not but we can pretend so

okay maybe we cant how could we not

die on the inside to be without rot

maybe i can heal now

that you're all gone

it could be good

for me

to glue the roots back on

to build the tree and sprout

leaves yesterday, today we're okay

tomorrows a new day

i think I'll still be okay

are you okay

its asked like a question

they want you to lie

i don't understand it

why we have to hide whats inside

how are you is answered with im good

even when they aren't

are you okay is asked when your crying

like it isn't obvious

they ask when your overwhelmed

and they ask when you need help

they need you to lie though

to feed into disguise

to hide the truth of the world

and the fact that it lies

they want everything to be fine

even they are in disguise

I wish I knew the words

I wish I knew.

I really wish I do,

I wish that I knew,

how to say the words.

what words did i want to say?

forget it it's nothing,

I wave it away.

what words did i want to say?

I wish I knew how to tell you.

all the things stuck in my head,

none of them are brand new.

I wish I knew what needed said.

all the lost I love yous.

all the lost I need helps.

all the lost moments I can't say.

all the lost unwritten words.

the words I know

aren't the words i need

do you know the words?

when they run away,

when they get stuck,

when they fly away,

do you know the words?

I wish I knew the words.

when your standing there,

in front of me.

asking me.

asking me.

asking me.

what were you asking me?

how much longer

how much longer

the children ask in class

how much longer

the parents ask in work

how much longer

till people know me

how much longer

till i have to go home

how much longer

the people ask

waiting, wanting, watching

they ask about everything

people are curious creatures

always asking why

always asking how

always asking when

someone always knows

where, how, why, when

they always ask

always asking

ask ask asking

ask ask asking

ask ask asking

ask ask asking

I'm not the one who knows

they ask, they ask

I don't know the answer

they ask, they ask

Calm in the eyes

chaos all around,

but calm where we stand.

like the world protects us,

from the storm around.

shielded from,

the storm of hate.

safe from,

the storm of disappointment.

rushing around us,

as we stand here,

you and I,

we stand in the calm.

the calm of each-other.

the calm of our friendship.

the calm of those we love.

the calm of predictability.

maybe we should go into the storm.

maybe we should step out of the calm.

maybe the calm isn't as safe as we thought.

maybe the calm holds us back.

road trip

the fields go past.

in a blur of green.

just as we pass the last,

no more green is seen.

the cars drive past.

i wonder where they are going,

if they are going the same place i am.

do they want to go there?

does anyone want to go anywhere.

even the most beautiful places are ruined,

by houses and cars,

by people.

do people even care?

care for nature,

for the places preserved.

do people even care?

The Moon, The Sun, The Stars

The moon is quiet at night

Always there glowing bright

And the moon stays quiet

When things get hard 

The moon keeps quiet

The sun is there happy

Shining brightly smiling

The sun can blind you

But it's easy to forget

The sun is still a star

The stars shine bright

Not as happy as the sun

Not as quiet as the moon

The stars are loud, patient 

But oh so passionate 

But in the end

The Moon, The Sun, and The Stars

Are all the same at heart 

Mind, body, and soul they stay

Same as always 

Because in the end 

The sun is a star in disguise 

And the moon is just a reflection

Forests and trees

The trees stay silent

Loving the sun

With a quiet passion

The leaves love a ton

The forest is loud

With a heart full of gold

The trees are quiet

But stories are to be told

The sun loves back 

Listening with fervour 

The sun loves loud

Shouting with a vow

Stories get told 

Of the sun

And the trees 

Stories of old

Love is to be

The sun, loud

The trees, quiet

Stories of old

Stories of old

Where love is to be told

The sun yells out

The trees don't sprout

Stories of old

hidden

I run and hide.

For I want to be,

Want to be lost

Not found

I run through the chapters

And hide in the words

If you read between the lines

You can see me still, hiding

I am not lost

For i was never found

I hide the pain

As there was none 

To begin with

Some nights I wish,

I wish to be found,

To be lost, to be known

But tonight i hide

Tomorrow i may appear 

In the corner of the page

But for it is not my book

You may not see me

Ghosts

When you look about 

And see

Everyone looks through you

Past the guilt

Past the shame

Right through you

It didn't feel good

They see past everything

Past the disguise

Straight to your heart

But they saw 

They saw you not her 

You hide behind a mask 

Only to find someone

Who takes it off

With you

No pushing no prodding only

Love and trust. Just help

To break free, free of the mask

No pushing for it to come back

No pushing for it to disappear 

completely 

Just remembrance

Remembering the mask

Just in case

Just in case never comes 

The mask is left alone

Left and forgotten

No more just in case

Just a broken girl

Tolerance

people tolerate me

i think i do too

i don't like me

and neither do they

but i also don't like them

and i treat them nice

so i guess I'll do that to me too

i still don't like me

maybe I'll like me one day

i don't think i tolerate being her

i think them is okay

i think i like that

i really don't like me

i think i might like me

i don't think i tolerate being them though

maybe im him, that seems okay

i don't think that is

i don't know what i tolerate

i don't know anymore

i don't think i tolerate anything

i don't think i have mild feelings

maybe i don't

maybe that's okay

i think i like who i am

Take flight

i let my mind wander and take flight

sometimes its in the rain to make it right

sometimes when im in pain i just might

go off and wander let my mind take flight

when i daydream away the entire day

I've been up in the clouds and the sun-rays

not thinking about what i have to pay

when i daydream away the entire day

sometimes at night i zone out in sight

letting my dreams grow big and bright

in the imaginary wind it flows like a kite

when i zone out at night in plain sight

i let go of my thoughts and let them run free

on the days they feel trapped inside of me

on those days i get new ideas one i couldn't see

before i let go of my thoughts and let them run free

Differences

i cut off my hair so it's short as can be

then changed my clothes so you could see

im not you daughter i don’t want to be

because mother i am you son don’t you see

i went out with a boy for you to be happy

but couldn't you see it made me snappy

for mother i like girls, boys are just tacky

still I'll go out with a boy so you are happy

you change my hair my face and clothes

my preferences and partners you also chose

it seems like you are making me be

just who you are to day don't you see

im different to you and i want to be

and yet you force all your styles upon me

if i had a choice one you didn’t make

id choose to leave before you wake

they say, maybe

They say time can heal all wounds

And that may be true

But it doesn't heal the scars left

by people like you

And people say scars show your strength

Because it proves you survived

But it doesn't feel that way

When they suffocate you with memories

Bubbling up from inside

And some say hair holds memories

But they don't leave when you cut it off

So what people say may be true

It doesn't seem to help things

That you didn't take with you

Not so bright

Its fine, everything's okay.

It seems like a lie that's said,

Said through the grapevine.

When no one wants to be made

Into a villain overnight,

Because of one little oversight.

A miss-step made not so bright,

Now any decisions you make

Are seen as not being right.

The truth seems so light

But yet like the winter wind,

It’s a harsh bite.

sad

puppeting

i feel like a puppet

trapped in my skin

the control goes to you

but pain comes to me

you think im fine

i never say im not

you take my control

i control my pain

im trapped

trapped in the cycle

i stop and think

"I don't want to be in pain"

its easy to say but,

you take it away

im a puppet

trapped in my own skin

you're a puppeteer

no care for your craft

forgetting your words hurt

forgetting you puppet people

i forgive you

no really i do

but it hurts sometimes

and you don't know

so i am saying goodbye

and i hope you see

it wasn't your fault

there was just no way out

thinking of you

when the sunset glows

the memory of you grows

when the air smells of you

and you aren't there to see

thinking of you

and your smile

I've came so far

but sometimes i miss you

i miss your attitude

and your laugh

whenever you did

but I've came so far

i don't want to go back

or stay the same

but going forwards

is scarier than you think

and you give me advice

that i never asked for

advice that i try

and yet it never works

you tell me it takes time

and i should just try harder

that it's a state of mind

when really it isn't

the world is burning

inspired by fuck the supreme court - Rio romeo

we are standing here quiet

in the fire the ruins the earth

being burned by their choices

the choices they say are right

rights are what we need

rights are what they take

don't complain about it

don't complain your fine

fine and bills for the things we need

all the health care fines

they have no funding it can't be free

we stand in the burning dirt

we stand in the burning sand

the world burns as it turns

as they say we are fine

then charge us for healing

lost hope

prequel-is to are you really gone also written by me

I text goodnight not goodbye

because leaving seems wrong

even though its not hard

I leave by phone by my bed

theres a glass of water on my unit

and a pack of pills in the drawer

each pill with a purposeful sip.

for a sleep without wake.

i never said

i never had to

no one ever cared

least of all you

i go to sleep with a smile

for i will never wake up

i go to sleep with a smile

for i have escaped for a while

as breathing steadies out

and blood-flow stops

i think for a moment

you really did care

the thought is gone in a flash

just like my life

for i was only a kid, really

now with no life

are you really gone

your phone's on the nightstand

just where you left it

there is a glass of water next to it

were you ever meaning to drink it

who did you think would care

did you think no one would

who did you think would be there

did you think no one cared

you look wrong

lying right there

you look peaceful

you would never look like that

can you really be gone

no blood left in your veins

no heart left in your laugh

no noise left to make

no breath

no blood

no love

no hate

why did you not say

i cared

i think it was only you

that didn't

so many people here

so many people care

so many people cried

for only one who died

society

they turn a blind eye

when people push and shove

but look aghast when people

say some stuff

they look up and down

and left an right

tell you if you're fine

or you're not alright

its weird that they decide

if you fit what they want

its weird that they decide

how you dress and walk

sometimes they will say

your fine when your not

tell you to toughen up

but you can't cause they're yelling

even though they're not

when you say your feelings

are spiky or flat

they call that weird

and start to attack

with their words

and their touches

they ignore what they said

say your not okay

and send you away

they don't tell you

how the world works

with their blasted rules

and social works

i don't get small talk

or beating around the bush

apparently that's my fault

that they make no sense

and when you say to smile

i done it until i couldn't

i acted like you

like i understood

but i didn't

no time

there's no time

to answer the phone

there's no time

to pay back the loan

there's no time

for anything

that needs to be done

not even any time for fun

there's no time

to not be okay

there's no time

to have a good day

there's time

for work

but not play

there's time

to learn

but no time

for freedom

there's no time

for what you want

there's no time

for what you need

they hide the time behind

useless things

saying we need to work

not play and have fun

we find the time

between the days

lost in a trance

like you and i

we lost the time

long ago

when calendars changed

and seasons begun

we lost the meaning

of having fun

go away

'Go away' it's said like a prayer,

it's the only hope they have.

'Go away' it's said with venom,

it's the only defence they have.

'Go away' it's a habit now,

don't leave them.

'leave me alone' they plead,

they need the space,

don't leave, they need a reason

a reason to not trust

a reason for you to fail their tests

a reason for you to get out

you never give it

you never give it

is it safe

all the 'go aways' are still yelled

all the 'leave me alones' are still cried

is it safe

you never give a reason for them to leave for them to hate

is it safe

razor

I get picked back up

Still covered in blood

You hide me away

You hide what you did

You say its for comfort

You say your okay

You say you'll quit

You say you don’t lie

You say that a lot

Lying through your teeth

You say you don’t lie

You collect me again

from hiding and use me 

You say you don't lie

You can't keep your word

they say i need cleaned

You say im just rusted

You say you don't know

You hide me away

You hide what we did

Light-bulb

You turn me on

I light up your day

You say it doesn't matter

I do it anyway

You turn me off

And go to bed

I stay quiet

Not buzzing away

You turn me back on

And leave for work

You forget im still on

But yet i lurk

I buzz in the silence 

And look off in the sun

I keep myself warm

While you have your fun

Bed

I lie just like you

Keeping you safe

I stay your haven

You stay engravened

You want me always

Say i light up your day

I don’t think it matters 

I stay out the way

You come back tired as always

I do my job and you rest like always

I never sleep my job is important 

You come back tired as always

I do my job

You thank me deeply

I would say i don't mind

But you say it always

ultraviolet

I am pretty yet

You don't see me

I hide away 

So you can’t hear me

A colourful colour

You just can't appreciate 

I sit in silence

Lilac colour brightening 

I look at you 

Getting under your skin

You think your prettier 

You don't acknowledge 

That it was my doing

I sit and watch

Glowing quietly

You say your pretty now

I don't think that matters anyway

Sorry

I apologise with a smile

One that doesn't reach the eyes

“Sorry” I say and I mean it I really do

Do you think I do Sorry if you don't 

You say it doesn't matter

I'm pretty sure it does to you

So I say “sorry” for the hundredth time

You get annoyed I say sorry again

You don't think I mean it

You don't think I can I've said it too much

“Sorry, I don't mean too, sorry” I say 

Face downcast i feel like im manipulating 

You think so too, I know im not though

And in the end that's what matters I know 

And I know its the truth you

You don't want to be friends anymore

I don't apologise this time

Blood red roses

A bouquet of roses

White roses

Covered in blood

The blood of

Violent love

A kiss met

With a fist

A dove for love

Yet gone above

The house is not 

A home for there is 

No love

A kiss is to be 

Met with a fist

Blood red roses

Empty as the love that

Should be

Broken love i wished

not to start

The blood red roses

now spilled

On my heart

Rain

Hey hello

Did you know

You have a little cloud

Above your head

It’s raining up there

Cold and wet

Ever since we met

If can let go

If it is me that is

Sorry its stupid

You'd say instead

But it's not if your

Upset

You wouldn't agree

There's a silence 

In the air

One that makes 

You stare

You ask for a hug

And i linger just a 

Moment

A moment to long

The offer long gone

Now uncomfortable

Silence

In its place

The rain is gone

I wonder when

When did it leave?

Why

Why was it there?

Who 

Who caused it?

Then i realised 

I had left 

It was all in my 

Head

The truth long gone

And feelings met

That was years ago

Now we just met.

poison love

your love is like poison

it hurts and hurts

but you get used to it

after some time

your poisonous love

is hidden in my drink

and yet i drink it anyways

you numb the pain,

no that's wrong

you overpower the pain

your love stings and burns

like an ember on your tongue

it hurts to talk when your around

but i only love something if it hurts

your bad for me and yet

im here anyways

I'm not good

im not good

not a good person

not good enough

not a good worker

not a good friend

not good at art

not good at singing

not good at school

im not good

i feel like they lie

when they say I'm great

because i can't be

no I'm not good

im not good

not good with words

not good with feelings

not good with people

not good with food

not good with health

not good with sleep

not good with cleaning

im not good

i feel like they lie

when they tell mm otherwise

they say oh your great

but that can't be true

im not good

not good at writing

not good with criticism

not good with music

not good with pain

not good at dancing

not good at studying

not good with kids

im not good

i feel like they lie

when they look and ask

why me i don't know

sorry im not good

im not good

not good

not good

not good

not good

not good

not good

not good

im not good

i feel like they lie

when they say that

because i am good

and so are they

so when i say im not good

i don't think i mean it

i don't say that to others

so why should i do it to myself

treat yourself like you treat others

you're good

Excuses

they look, and they see

that others need help

"it's okay to be this mad."

they say, they don't stop,

they to stop to think about,

is this hurting others,

and if they do

"you shouldn't be effected"

but of course people are effected

effected by the yelling,

effected by the throwing,

effected by the violence,

effected by the anger, the rage.

"Oh it's not your fault, don't worry about it"

they say, excusing the violence of others.

You aren't allowed to be upset with the violence

because "oh it's not their fault"

not their fault doesn't change anything

but how you see it, nothing changes

not the rage.

Not the anger.

Not the pain,

nor the hurt.

It doesn't change the yelling,

nor the throwing.

It doesn't change the violence..

people make up excuses, less to learn, to teach.

Excuses so they don't have to teach consequences,

they forget how actions affect others,

or they just don't care. Excuses are made either way

cat scratches

they say cats relieve stress

but im still not a fan

when i look in the mirror

and see all that i am

when i look in the mirror

all i see are flaws

nobody is a fan of me

i scratch with sharp claws

they say cats relieve stress

and maybe that's true

but only when they scratch

although that's nothing new

when i look in the mirror

i see someone else

someone that's not like me

because you see

when i look in the mirror

i see who i want to be

they say cats relive stress

but i couldn't say

im allergic you see

but cats scratch anyways

when i look in the mirror

i don't want to see

because that's not

who i want to be

they keep saying cats relive stress

but see its not true, they don't like to be

they don't like you too see

for they scratch and won't leave you be

i don't look in the mirror

not anymore

I'm far from who i want to be

i might run off to sea

underwater

under water it looks just fine

with beautiful coral reefs

although there's a fine line

between beauty and grief

the deeper you go

the heavier the pain

don't go too low

there isn't much to gain

under water looks beautiful

but there pressure beneath

it isn't very suitable

its like a gnashing of teeth

the deeper you go

the harder to find

the light in the low

the lives signed away

under water has pressure

so much it has no measure

under water has no leisure

it barely has any treasure

moving through motions

emotions are weird,

almost as weird as moving on.

it makes no sense,

how I'm meant to move on.

emotions don't have logic,

they just are, why do they get to be.

when they never let me,

just exist for one day.

it makes no sense,

the fact I'm to forget,

that is,

it makes no sense,

you just don’t fade,

and it feels so grave,

everything out, laid,

you couldn’t be saved.

can i get rid of it,

the emotions i mean,

not you, you can’t leave–

please stay, i can’t grieve.

you can’t leave,

i can’t grieve.

where are you?

where did you go?

i need you please,

please don’t leave.

laying petals on your grave,

it feels so wrong,

it feels like your going to cave,

it’s been so long.

feeling grief

We have no time

It'll be fine

Don't scream and shout

Can't let it all out

Stay calm and tame

It's all the same

Oh come on now

Don't be lame

Continue and breathe

Don't sit and seethe

Go look beneath

We have no time

We have no time

We'll be fine

Don't scream and shout

Can’t let it all out

forests whispers

Look around and see

Look at all the trees

Look at all the leaves

Look at how they move

In the breeze

The chill of the air

The feeling when they stare

The looks of they don't care

The way they tare

Tare off hope

And the freedom

Of how we cope

Along with our scope

Look around in the trees

With all the noise

From the breeze

and the boys

with their toys

who freeze in the air

when people start to stare

with their hatred for fun

people who make them run

because they think no-one

should have their own fun

they’re wilful

the world has gone south

and the people have too

the funds are being cut

and safe places are rare

people don’t see

they don’t know

actually

they don’t care

its easy to see, people ignore

everything with sense

they choose to be senseless

and turn a blind eye

they choose to not see the fact

the dead are only dying faster,

the living never learn.

they choose to ignore all that

in favour of arguing ignorance

they didn’t know, their sorry

but they did and they chose

to ignore, to weaponize incompetence

dried out eyes

the light in my eyes

slowly dies out

like the star in the sky

I'll crash and burn

like the sun I'll explode

leaving nothing but a road

a path to find me, if you cared

a place to feel safe even scared

if you find me, its too late

i already went to the gates

the light in my eyes

slowly died

the tears already cried

it’s too late

im at the gates

with my dried out eyes

a look on my face

regret maybe

oh i forget

who cared anyways

misled

the look in your eyes

the smile on your face

it doesn’t match your lies

the ones you use to get on my case

i feel so misplaced, in your space

like i don’t belong in this place

your lies mislead

change the road i read

im feeling quite lost right now

with your lies pulling me right round

to be with you i know no truth

i know nothing but your ruse

it makes me lose my mind

looking for my kind

you make me lose my mind

you make me choose your kind

defaulted

keep trying, don’t die

don’t lie its not hard to try

don’t give up its the cowards way

why did you lie, was it to make them cry

you always choose the easy option

never actually stayed alive

giving up is easy when the defaults to survive

but your default seems to lie

when you don’t want to see them cry

you choose to stay and keep surviving

fight or flight you choose fright

freezing over fighting being too frightened

keep trying, don’t lie, it’s not hard

you don’t need to cry, its alright

giving up is easy when the defaults to survive

don’t cry, your default lies, stay alive

Goodbye

Goodbye feels so wrong

Especially when your not strong,

Strong enough to stay here

And live with pain near.

All that pain wells up inside

Bursting like flames and strong tides

When someone begs you to stay

And you say goodbye anyway

You can never win the battles

When your fighting it from within

The pain that comes with it rattles

Like beads beneath your skin

It's trapped like you are too

Theres no way to win these battles

From all the way within

Losing this is nothing new to you

when you keep it bottled up inside

and your only choice is to take a ride

driving down the roads of memory lane

and saying goodbye due to too much rain

it feels too much those old roads do

but i want to take the chance to start anew

so here i am weak willed and filled with pain

saying goodbye for the final time since you came

i stop myself just before it happens

and think about you like a quick habit

i don’t go through i don’t know if it was for you

goodbye feels so wrong when im leaving you too

blaming you

you stabbed me in the back

blood dripping down it lacks

all the care it takes to make

someone like me not wake

you faked all of your care

made it seem impossible to tare

off a piece of your heart

and make our love become so tart

i lacked the vision to see

you and me it could not be

it was easy to see you had the wrong key

to my heart after all we never agreed

you stabbed me in the back

no questions asked

to get out you did what you had

to make me feels so bad

blood dripping down my back

lacking the care it needs to

have you ever thought that i didn’t love

you tricked me into picking you

Why

You made your peace, and I made mine

So why oh why after all this time—

Do we still fight like getting along is crime?

I didn't think that through, neither did you

The way it feels to lose someone you're that close to,

Fights that ensued because of something.. they didn't do.

Stolen words

Its said like a secret,
A whisper in your ear,
The way someone speaks
When they only wish for fear.

You shout outloud, just to be lead
But their voices clamber over yours
Leaving your words unsaid.
Your words said too sweet, its a lie that alures.

People fall into your trap,
from your sickly sweet words
I did too, if I'm going to be true–
I feel bad for them, no really I do.

Their locked in this room
Nothing good to do, or listen to
No sound, or tune
Nothing in liue

Of the silence you hold
With our words in your hands
And our minds you're trying to mold
I wish we could get out of your lands

Deep down

I'm desperate to stay in my room
Despite the sunny afternoon
Through the sides of the curtains
I see the light, and it burdens

Burdens me with the thought
That I'm missing something
All because i sit here in rot
Ignoring the birds sing

Despite it all I know I need to
Need to go out in the sun
Need to just go has some fun
Need to get rid of these bad blues

Thats what I know I need to do
Deep down I'm stuck in the clues
The whispers of dispare and blues
Deep down I know I need to

burnout

thoughts wander fading into mist

and all the things get lost

from your little to do list

the overworking comes with a cost

the cost of remembering whats not written down

when you work yourself right into the ground

to the point where it feels like your going to drown

in all of this work the clock ticking is a horrible sound

and it feels like your on fire

burning from inside out

the whole situation feels dire

but don’t you dare pout

and it feels like your lost

impossible to be found

and well you got your cost

but its more than just a few pounds

and it feels like you need rest

but sleep doesn't seem to fix

it feels like a cruel test

trying to find the right mix

friends again

the smell of you is still stuck in the air,

your perfume, always put on with care –

it smelled like fields of poppies in salt air,

but now you’re gone and i can’t ever repair,

the tare you didn’t mean to leave in my soul,

a hole so deep that it’s starting to take a toll.

i try not to talk about the time we spent

laughing and loving like it meant something

it makes my chest ache, when i hear your voice ring

i know your love is not not for me to keep,

but knowing that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when you went

i know you’re still here

but after all those years

i can’t help but shed some tears

when my mind clears

I’ll say sorry my dear

Written by a human in Ellipsus.