Work Text:
A clone named Biggus Dickus
The troopers were lined up for cadet review.
Their commanding officers spot checking them and their gear at the very moment. The shinies as these troopers were, those yet to be inducted to the war efforts now standing all tall and proud to do so.
To finally see some battle. This was their duty after all, being soldiers of war.
Commanders Cody and Rex also wanting to know what names these troopers had chosen for them selves. Something of tradition but also a matter of pride for each and every clone having ever been made to have a proper name.
Picking up a name for themselves rather than just using their birth number as an identification. The calling card for each and every clone trooper.
“What is your designation, the name you have chosen for yourself, trooper?”
“Devon, Sir.”
“Sounds great, trooper.”
Only a few remarks usually given out, as these shinies were dressed in their Sunday best and time was of the essence. Their armour but of course. All shiny and unscathed as of yet.
Each of the addressed troopers gave a name they had chosen. Again, tradition.
And then, the two Commanders arrived to the second to last one standing there in the rows of many. The one standing a little taller and guess, a tad bulkier than his classmates. Something of a unique clone trooper perhaps?
Rex and Cody exchanging glances as they arrived to this particular trooper.
“Trooper?” Rex asked, having eyed the not as standard as all that clone there, seeing he was slightly different from the rest of them. A commando in training maybe?
“The name, Sir, is Biggus Dickus. Sirs!” There was no smile there present for this trooper, only a strong salute added to his response. A truly proud trooper indeed!
Rex and Cody exchanged glances again, with a hint of smirk there present in both their faces.
“Um… sounds, like a very interesting name you’ve got there, trooper.” Cody just had to ask.
A few of the shinies couldn’t help the giggles or snorts elicited either.
“Yeah, care to explain the tale behind your name, trooper.” Rex piped in as well, both commanders suddenly quite interested in this, rather unusual name for sure.
The trooper visibly unfazed of the query, most likely having had to explain himself several times over already, as he only looked at the two commanders, coolly and calmly as if it was no biggie at all! (Oh but it was a doozie alright!)
“I was aptly named, Sirs! Because of my… assets.” The trooper, Biggus Dickus then glanced down, a suggestive glance at his crotch area.
Cody and Rex glanced as well.
“Oh!”
“Indeed!”
“Yes. Sirs! Aptly named, Sirs!” He then saluted the two commanders again.
“Well, that… that is very good to know, trooper!”
“Yes, trooper! And keep up the great work!!!”
Biggus Dickus stood there still, as unfazed as before, but internally, he was totally grinning. The message certainly having gotten through to the brass as well, of the origins of his name.
“Dismissed, troopers!”
The review was finally over.
Biggus Dickus along with his fellow cadets, shinies, were all then heading to the mess to celebrate their success. After all, they were soldiers now. Some of them with big dreams and others (Biggus Dickus) with big assets ready to be… utilised for… well… war?