Work Text:
“Good night.”
Closing the door behind her as she exited Kanade’s room, Mafuyu turned and started walking towards the guest room. Looking outside the window, the soft light of the moon that only shined because of the sun reaching her eyes, she was once again reminded of the fact that she was in Kanade’s home, not hers.
Even if she felt more at home here than at her own.
Closing the door gently upon entering the guest room, she looked at the time again. 2:05AM.
I suppose it is a good time to sleep, since I finished all my work already. Reaching that conclusion, she shut down her laptop, put her phone to charge, and lay on her bed, ready to sleep.
Thankfully, Mafuyu was able to fall asleep quite quickly, so within a few minutes, she lost consciousness, and entered her dreams.
* * *
“Ah…”
Weirdly enough, she was conscious in this dream of hers. Even though she normally could remember her dreams, she never actually became conscious in the middle of one. Additionally…
Aren’t lucid dreams supposed to be unstable?
Looking around, a white void surrounded her completely. It was just like Empty SEKAI. However, it didn’t seem like it was—and it didn’t feel like it either.
“Are you… me from the future?” A voice sounded just behind her.
Turning around, Mafuyu saw the past version of herself. The version before N25, before discovering Kanade’s music…
Before I felt these warm feelings.
It was obvious, even to her lack of tact, that she had changed ever since she met Kanade and joined N25. After all, she had never felt this feeling they described as “home”.
“Yes, it appears so… I assume you’re lost, then?”
“Maybe? I’m not sure myself either…” Young Mafuyu, as confused as the present Mafuyu, looked around this void. “What even is this place? Am I really talking to you?”
“I think you’re in my dream. I certainly didn’t expect to meet my younger version here.”
“Ah, that’s fine,” she responded, still trying to process this. “It’s just… I’m not sure how to act with you.”
“You mean your “good girl” persona?” Intrigued, Mafuyu asked her younger counterpart. She had experienced what she felt herself after all.
“Yes.” Even though it was kind of a stupid question, young Mafuyu really meant it.
“It’s fine, you don’t have to. After all, I was you at some point,” she reassured her past self. “So, since we’re here… Is there anything you want to know about the future?”
“Well…” The pause that young Mafuyu created let Mafuyu predict her question, as her young self looked down a bit then looked up towards Mafuyu’s eyes. “Did we find ourselves yet?”
“I think…” Mafuyu paused. Even while knowing what the question was going to be, she didn’t know how to respond. After all, technically, she didn’t yet. She still felt like an empty husk. However, an idea popped up in her mind.
“I think that we never needed to do so.”
“Eh?” It was clear she was confused. She never thought that her future self would hesitate about that question.
“It is true that I still didn’t find that “me” that we’re both searching for,” Mafuyu continued. She looked down to her younger self with her expressionless face, yet her eyes felt more… alive. “However, now that I’ve come this far… I don’t think we need to.”
“What do you mean?”
As she thought of an explanation, Mafuyu remembered all those times with N25. That time they went to see the doll exposition, and how Kanade helped her. That time when Mafuyu had to stay at Ena’s house, and Ena helped her with her mother’s phone call. That time she hung out with Mizuki, and was told that it was okay to run away.
All those times resurfaced Mafuyu’s mind, as she settled for the most accurate explanation she could think of.
“I think we don’t need to find ourselves, but to create ourselves.” She told young Mafuyu. “There wasn’t ever a need to find yourself; you already were ‘someone’”.
“But… But I’m no one! I couldn’t possibly be a person! I am only a husk, my real self lost—”
“Mafuyu,” she cut her past self off, trying to get her to calm down. “I know you don’t understand right now. It’s normal to do so—we really were that desperate.” She took a breath before continuing, grabbing her past self’s hand before doing so. “However… Maybe you just need to look within.”
“Within?”
“You see…” Mafuyu closed her eyes, going back through her memories. “One day, you’re going to discover a girl’s music. That music will make you feel ‘warmth’ again. That feeling that you’ve been yearning for ever since.”
“...”
“After meeting her, you’ll meet two other girls, and together, you’ll form a music circle.” Without intending to do so, a subtle smile appeared across Mafuyu’s face. “But they are so much more than a music circle. They’ll be your friends; your true friends. Friends that won’t let you hide anything from them, friends that will care about you, friends that will support you along the way.”
She looked up towards the non-existent sky. Even though it was still a white void, it felt comforting. “These will be friends that will make you who you are.”
“Really? Is that really possible?”
“Yes. So, don’t ‘disappear’ just yet. You still have to meet them, talk with them, and help them while they help you. And it will become better.” She lowered her head, looking at her young self’s eyes firmly. “I promise.”
* * *
“Eh?”
Even though Mafuyu was normally able to remember all of her dreams, she couldn’t remember this one. She knew she had one, but she didn’t remember. All she remembered was the impression of her comforting someone with purple hair like her.
What a strange dream.
However, she didn’t think much of it, and decided to get up from bed to begin her usual morning schedule, which, of course, included waking up Kanade to make sure she didn’t skip breakfast.