Archive of Our Own

Harry wakes with the rising sun. He operates on autopilot: gets dressed, makes his bed, moves quietly to the kitchen. That is important, to be quiet and not wake up the others. He starts a kettle for tea and pulls eggs from the fridge for breakfast.

Harry searches the cupboards for a mug for himself and his new foster father. As he turns to get the tea, he hits one of the mugs and sends it flying. It shatters against the tile floor. Harry freezes and his breath catches. Maybe no one heard. No such luck; hurried footsteps thud down the stairs.

Harry backs against the wall, shoulders slumped, head down, heart racing. He waits for the shouting.

***

His last foster placement had also been the longest. The Dursleys didn't tolerate anything less than perfection. Mistakes were punished severely.  Petunia and Vernon had nicknames they called him when he inconvenienced them: freak and waste of space. When his crimes were too egregious to be corrected with insults or smacks he was locked in the cupboard under the stairs, where he was to remain quiet until he was retrieved.

The Dursleys had another foster son, Dudley. Vernon had taken a liking to the larger child. Harry wondered if he saw some of himself in the boy. Both were larger set, cruel, and loud. Once Dudley discovered there were no repercussions for picking on Harry, harmless insults turned into violent bullying.

"He'll make something of himself," Vernon said—often.

The Dursleys doted on Dudley, and after a couple years, went through the process to officially adopt him. It was around that time they decided they had no more need for Harry.

***

It had only been a day since he had been placed here, and he isn't sure what to expect. Not all of his placements had been as bad as the Dursleys, but the good ones never lasted long.

"Harry? Are you alright?"

Harry's gaze doesn't stray from his feet, as he stays firmly planted against the wall. The adult places a hand on Harry's shoulder. He tries not to move, but an involuntary shudder travels through his body.

"Oh, Harry, it's alright," the man says softly. "It's just a mug; we can clean it right up. You're not hurt, are you?"

When Harry shakes his head, the man crosses the room and grabs a broom to sweep up the mess.

"Harry, what are you doing up so early?"

Harry points to the breakfast he had started.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were such an early riser. There is no need to make breakfast, please just wake me if you're hungry. I don't mind cooking something up."

Harry stares at him as the man tilts his head, contemplating his next sentence.

"It was for you," Harry says quietly.

A flash of understanding; he pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.

"Harry, you’re a child. You don't need to cook for me. I should be taking care of you, not the other way around."

Harry turns his attention to his cuticles. They are nearly bleeding from constant picking; his nails short and ragged from biting them. His foster father takes a step forward and Harry curls in, making himself smaller.

"Harry, would it be alright if I gave you a hug?"

The question is unexpected. Harry's gaze snaps up. His new foster parent was intimidating. He had several scars running across his face and he towered over Harry's admittedly short frame. But now—his voice is kind. Harry swallows and nods.

Mr. Lupin wraps him in a tight embrace. Before Harry can stop his body betrays him once more as tears stream down cheeks. Harry knows he shouldn't let his guard down so easily. It isn't like he will be here long anyway. He can tell this will be a good placement and Harry doesn't deserve to have good things.

Mr. Lupin whispers, "Harry you are safe here. We'll figure this out together."

***

"Harry, get ready for school. I've got breakfast, but there isn't much time before we have to leave."

Mr. Lupin has been true to his word. In the months since Harry moved in, he hasn't cooked a single meal. Harry finishes getting ready for school, pulls his backpack off his desk, and jogs downstairs.

"Harry,  just cereal today. We're running behind and I have a parent meeting before my first class."

Mr. Lupin drives Harry to school before going to work at the secondary school down the road. It was an adjustment, but they have a routine.  Harry was right,  Mr. Lupin—Remus—is a good one.  So, even though he has allowed himself to relax a bit,  Harry is always waiting for it all to be snatched away.

The following morning happens in much the same fashion: get ready, breakfast, head off to school. However, as they are about to leave there is a knock at the door. Mr. Lupin—Remus—he'd told Harry to call him, answers as Harry ties his shoes.

"No! I'm sorry, but he's just a child. He has been through enough..." 

Remus' answer is clipped, and Harry has yet to hear the man yell, but there's an edge to his voice that Harry isn't familiar with.

"Sir... Sirius Black... willing to talk. He wants to see Harry."

Harry peeks around the corner to see Remus speaking with someone in a suit. Harry risks another glance and catches sight of a badge. Harry wilts, and there it is, the other shoe. Something has obviously gone wrong. He isn't welcome here anymore.

He tiptoes to his room and drags a suitcase from the closet.

"Harry, are you ready to go?"

He doesn't answer. Harry knows he has to leave, but hadn't expected Remus, Mr. Lupin, to be in such a hurry to get rid of him. The soft padding of feet sounds on the staircase.

"Harry, are you ready for school?" The door opens with a creak. Harry’s suitcase is open and clothes are strewn across the bed. He hurriedly shoves what he can in the small bag.

"Going on a trip?" Remus asks softly.

"I heard you talking, I saw his badge, I'm getting ready... I didn't expect to be able to stay long. It was too nice here." He refuses to look at Mr. Lupin as he continues packing.

Mr. Lupin places a hand on Harry's, halting his progress. 

"Harry, you are not going anywhere. He wasn't here for you, or I guess he was, but not in the way you are imagining."

Mr. Lupin runs a hand through his hair and takes a seat on the bed next to Harry. "What do you know about your parents?"

Oh, Harry doesn't know much. He had only been one when they died. His early homes and placements hadn't bothered to tell him anything or if they had he'd been too young to remember. The Dursleys were the only ones to mention his parents: they were criminals—they got what they had coming to them.

Harry shrugs.

Mr. Lupin's shoulders slump, suddenly looking smaller despite his height. 

"I think this conversation is going to take longer than what we have time for. I'll be right back."

Harry follows to the top of the stairs. He listens to Mr. Lupin's mumbled conversation on the phone. He scurries back to his room before his foster father returns.

"Alright, I called both of our schools. We are staying home sick today." Mr. Lupin winks. "How about I make some hot chocolate and then we can talk about all of this."

Harry nods.

***

Fuck, he hadn't planned on keeping this a secret, but Harry had been so timid and obviously mistreated. He just wanted the boy to be comfortable and safe before he dropped this on him. Now, Sirius fucking Black had forced his hand. Hopefully Harry could forgive him.

***

"Before I explain why the detective was here, there are some things you need to know about your parents."

Remus shifts in his seat and fiddles with the cuffs of his jumper.

"First, I want you to know that your parents were some of the best people I knew."

Mr. Lupin knew his parents? How?

"Your parents and I went to school together. Actually, your dad and I, along with two others, were roommates at boarding school."

"Not long before you were born your parents were witnesses to a crime. When you were about a year old several threats were made against them. It was decided to place them into a witness protection of sorts."

Remus pauses; he closes his eyes for a moment. Harry's worried he may not continue, but he straightens his posture and resumes his story.

"Sirius Black, my... friend from school, worked for the police department. He was designated as your parents' handler, for lack of a better term. He was one of the few people who knew their location and was their go between with the outside world."

Harry's mind was reeling. Why hadn't Remus told him earlier about knowing his parents. If he did, why hadn't Harry been allowed to live here before? What happened to his mom and dad?

"The next part of the story is a little murky. It's believed that Sirius was on Tom Riddle's payroll—the man your parents were set to testify against—and sold out your parents. On Halloween, Riddle and a few of his cronies went to your home and killed your parents. I'm not sure if he just couldn't bring himself to hurt a baby or if something interrupted him, but you were found in your crib unharmed."

Harry is silent. What is he supposed to say to all this?

"Officers were looking for Sirius and tracked him to a busy street. He had cornered Peter Pettigrew. He was the other friend from school who shared our dorm. The newspapers say he killed Pettigrew that day. I didn't want to believe that he could do something like that, but all the evidence pointed to him and there were witnesses." His voice breaks at the last bit. 

"What does any of that have to do with the detective?"

Remus scrubs his hands over his face. "Don't worry Harry, I already told him no, but apparently Black offered information if he was given the chance to talk to you."

Harry stares at the nail holes in the wall behind Mr. Lupin. He wonders if a picture had hung there at one time or maybe a shelf.

“Harry?” Mr. Lupin asks tentatively. Snapping Harry back to the moment.

"I think...I think I'm going to go to bed." He doesn't wait for a reply before jogging up the stairs and shutting the door. The click of the lock brings an end to the conversation.

***

The conversation had gone about as well as he could have hoped. There was still more Harry didn't know. Fuck, there was so much that Remus didn't know himself.

What Remus wouldn't give for a glass of whiskey, but those days are long past. He doesn't trust himself to tempt fate. Not when it isn't only himself to think about.

***

"Sirius what the fuck did you do?" He mumbled into his drink. He stood, nearly losing his balance, before catching himself on the bar.

"Alright there, looks like you've had enough."

Remus nodded and stumbled towards the door.

"That Sirius Black is a piece of work. Pretending to be better than the rest of his family. Law enforcement officer my ass. Just as bad as the lot of them. Fucking evil, like his mother."

Remus didn't pause before he swung. He was off-balance and the punch landed, but without much force. A fist connected with Remus' face and he was falling, everything went black.

The pattern repeated itself for months. He would get blind drunk and hear a disparaging remark about Black. The ones that hurt most were when they compared him to his family. Sirius tried so hard to distance himself from them—but hadn't Remus caught himself thinking the same things? He'd wind up in a fight. He won some, but usually woke with new scars and missing memories for his efforts.

After an especially bad night, knuckles still stained in blood, cut above his cheek and bruise blooming over his eye, he made the mistake of looking at old photo albums. He clutched one of baby Harry. Fuck, where was the little boy? He should be with people who love him. Remus woke still holding the photo, nursing a powerful hangover, and dumped the rest of his whiskey down the drain.

He didn't fix everything overnight, but the image of little Harry was burned into his mind. Remus had dropped out of college after... everything, but enrolled again, this time in the teaching program. It took years and several stumbles along the way, but he was finally in a place he could be proud of.

When he reached out about fostering Harry the first time  he was denied. Harry already had a placement and everything was going well. Remus didn't want to uproot him. What did he really have to offer the boy anyway—who was he to pull Harry from a family for his own happiness. Over several years later he received word that Harry was in need of a new placement. He jumped at the opportunity.

***

In lieu of whiskey Remus opts for a strong cup of coffee. He rereads the same line of text for the fourth time while he forces himself to give Harry space.

***

"Are you sure you want to do this? We can leave at any time, Harry."

The boy shakes his head. "No, I want to see him. I want to know why?"

Remus nods. "Me too," he whispers under his breath.

The officer leads them into an interview room. Harry and Remus take a seat at the cold metal table at the center of the room. The minute hand ticking the only sound as they wait. It isn't long before a man with long tangled hair and a sallow face is led inside. He has dark circles under his eyes, and looks as though it's been years since he's slept. Good, Harry thinks, he doesn't deserve to rest easy.

"Alright Black, here is your chance.” The guard waves towards the table. "Harry Potter."

Black looks to Harry, a flash of recognition before schooling his expression. The moment he see Remus his eyes go wide and jaw drops a fraction. 

"Moony?" he whispers.

Remus swallows hard and inclines his head slightly. "Padfoot,” his voice threatens to crack.

Sirius gives his head a small shake and turns his attention back to Harry. He opens his mouth to speak, and closes it again.

Harry speaks without thought. "Why?"

Sirius' face drops, his head bows, and Harry sees tears hit the table. He doesn't get to cry. This man took his family, betrayed his own friends, he doesn't deserve to be sad. It is all his fault.

"STOP! Why? Why did you do it? How could you do it?" Harry is yelling.

Remus looks at him surprised, in the months they've been together Harry has always been quiet, thoughtful. The outburst catches him off guard.

Sirius chooses to ignore Harry's request and turns to Remus, "Moony, Lo... um, talk to Regulus. Please, just see him, talk to him. Then I'll tell you everything."

Harry catches Sirius sliding his hand forward on the table towards Remus'. Mr. Lupin quickly snatches his back before they can touch. Hurt flashes briefly in Black's eyes. Sirius nods to Remus and then motions for the guard.  They are done.

Harry mind races with unanswered questions. What was the point?  What had the nicknames been about? Moony? Padfoot? Who was Regulus and why did they have to talk to him? Why had Black wanted to see him and then not even had the courage to speak to him?

The car has barely parked before Harry bolts to the house. The door slams as he barricades himself in his room. He snatches his stuffed owl, at 9 he's probably too old for stuffed animals. Dudley always made sure to remind him it was a baby toy, but right now he doesn't care. He falls asleep clutching the owl to his chest.

***

Remus paces; he’d known it would be hard to see him, but he hadn't expected to feel broken. It was stupid. Harry was too young—what had he been thinking. It was his job to protect him and instead… Maybe he wasn't cut out to be a parent.

Remus runs his thumb across the business card. 

Regulus Black, Attorney at Law.

The last he had heard the younger Black had been on Tom Riddle's legal team. He should just throw the card away and forget the meeting ever happened.

He drops it in the trash, only to grab it out a moment later. He moves it around in his fingers as he holds the phone in his other hand.

Fuck it. He dials, “Law office of Regulus Black, how may I be of assistance?”

"Um," he hadn't thought this through, "Hello, yes, my name is Remus Lupin and I need to speak with Mr. Black."

"Mr. Lupin, Mr. Black mentioned you might call. Are you available Saturday at 10?"

"Oh… um, yes… That should work,” he stutters.

"Wonderful." She gives him the address of a coffee shop. The click of the receiver as she hangs up punctuates his panic.

Remus runs his hands through his hair. "Fuck!" Why is he letting himself get sucked into this madness? A dumb question. He'd always held out hope that they had gotten it wrong.

Saturday comes too quickly. 

"Thanks for watching him, Minerva. I owe you one."

"Nonsense Remus, I don't mind. Harry's a good lad. Doing something fun? A date maybe?" Minerva winks.

Ugh, the older woman was always teasing him about his love life, or lack thereof.

"No, a meeting unfortunately."

"Oh well, I hope it goes alright. Don't worry about Harry; he will be fine."

***

Ms. McGonagall has her hair pulled back into a tight bun; she sports a cardigan, and stern expression. She's a bit scary. Harry thinks she looks like a librarian who just learned you spilled juice on a book. Not that Harry would know anything about that. He was always careful with library books—usually.

"Alright Mr. Potter, what would you like to do today?"

Harry shrugs; he has only met Remus' coworker once before and doesn't know her well enough to make suggestions.

"Hmm, well then. How about a game?" She points to a shelf at the far side of the room.

She has Monopoly, a deck of cards, chess, a few puzzles, and a few other games he hasn't heard of. Harry picks up the deck of cards.

"Good choice, what game would you like to play?"

Harry shrugs, he doesn't know many card games.

"Very well, how about we play BS?"

Harry looks at her confused. It's not a game he's ever heard of, but then again that isn't surprising.

"So, I'll let you in on a secret, the name of the game is Bull Shit, but I doubt Remus would appreciate you saying that so we will call it BS or Bologna Sandwiches." She winks.

Harry is shocked, we're babysitters supposed to swear. He gives her a shy smile.

Harry catches on quickly, but isn't especially skilled.  Ms. McGonagall says he's too honest to be any good. When they are done he helps Ms. McGonagall feed her cat. He has never had a pet and takes every opportunity to cuddle the kitten.

When Remus returns a few hours later he finds Harry and Minerva in the living room. Harry is eating a cookie with one hand and petting the kitten on his lap with the other.

Remus smiles, "Harry, ready to go?"

Harry smiles and gives Minerva a hug before running to the car. 

***

"So, it was a good day?" Remus asks Harry on the drive home.

"Yes," Harry rambles on excitedly about learning to play BS “which really stands for a bad word he shouldn't say” and the cookies they ate. 

"Ms. McGonagall's cat is really nice. She let me pet it and it fell asleep on me. I think I want a pet someday." He continues to talk until they make it back to the house.

"Why don't you go wash up and I'll get you some lunch."

Harry takes off down the hall and Remus puts together some sandwiches. As he works, he thinks about the meeting with Regulus.

***

Remus nearly turns the car around twice and when he finally arrives sits with his hand on the ignition, looking for a reason to bolt. Eventually he fortified himself, the bell above the cafe door draws Regulus’ attention to his entrance.

"Lupin."

"Black," he acknowledges the man with a nod and takes a seat at the table.

"If I'm being honest, I'm surprised you agreed to speak with me."

"I am too. I almost didn't come, but..."

"He asked?" Regulus raises an eyebrow.

Remus hates that he's right. Even after eight years all he had to do was ask and Remus would answer. He is stupid—he knows.

"Look, I know you don't trust me."

"That's an understatement, you fucking worked for him."

"My parents pushed me, and I wasn't brave enough to push back, but I've been trying to fix it since."

"You'll have to excuse me if I don't believe you."

"Fair enough, take a look at this."

Regulus places a photo on the table. Remus chokes, "Is that…"

"Yeah, it is. That's from a few months ago."

"He died, he's dead..."

"Unfortunately, or fortunately for my brother he is very much alive."

"He didn't do it."

"Looks that way."

"Fuck!" Remus scrubs his hands over his face.

Peter Pettigrew, stares back, looking very much alive, and lounging on a beach.

***

"Harry, I'm going to have a word with him first. Stay out here with the officer."

They're in another interview room. Remus scans Sirius as he enters. His hair has been brushed, he looks healthier, though deep shadows still cling under his eyes.

"You came back," Sirius says with an air of disbelief. “Is Harry here?" His voice has a ring of excitement to it as he looks around the room.

"I'm back. Harry is waiting outside. I needed to talk to you first."

"You spoke with Reggie?"

"Yes, I need you to explain. Why… If this is true why didn't you fight it more… fight for Harry." He's louder than he means to be; he can feel his cheeks flush with anger. "Why didn't you..."

"Moony..." Sirius slides a hand across the table and this time Remus doesn't move away. Sirius brushes his thumb over the top of his hand.

***

The officer isn't paying any attention to him. Harry is used to adults pretending he's not there. He watches Mr. Lupin and Black talk through the two-way mirror. Remus is yelling at Black, his face is getting red. He leans forward in his seat and Harry is afraid he might hit the man, though he can't say he blames him. Black deserves worse than being punched.

Suddenly, Black reaches forward and holds Remus' hand. His foster father calms almost instantly and looks at the place their hands meet. Harry recognizes the look in his eyes. He has seen it on adults' faces before. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley look at each other like that, Harry has seen it when they pick up their kids from school. He's seen it at Remus’ school. The two older kids had looked at each other like that just before they kissed in the hallway. Mr. Lupin doesn't care about Harry, not when he loves the man who killed his parents.

Harry has to get away. He can't trust him. He had been the best foster parent Harry had had so far… This proved Harry doesn't deserve good things. He runs, he knows he can't go far, most doors are locked, but he sees a closet and ducks inside. He is good at being quiet and pretending he doesn't exist.

A door slams in the distance and footballs sound in the hall. Harry sits behind a mop bucket, draws his knees into his chest, and cries. Quiet tears so as not to draw attention, but he cries for what he thought he had with Mr. Lupin. He cries for parents he will never know.

"Harry, you in there?"

Mr. Lupin. Harry sniffs, but doesn't answer. Maybe he'll go away. Adults leave all the time and Mr. Lupin doesn't really care about him anyway.

"Harry, I'm going to come in, and I'm going to explain what is happening. Then when I'm done you can decide what you want to do next."

Remus opens the door and takes a seat. He pulls his knees up mirroring Harry.

"The meeting I had the other day was with a lawyer."

Mr. Lupin speaks quietly, careful not to spook a skittish animal. Harry thinks it's a pretty accurate comparison at the moment.

"The man Sirius is accused of killing—he's alive. They have pictures of him. The man was the fourth boy we roomed with. Our friend, Peter Pettigrew. The fact that he is alive means Sirius might be innocent. The lawyer believes they nearly have enough evidence to clear Sirius' name.” He lets the declaration sit. When Harry doesn't speak he continues. “It also means that Pettigrew was probably the one who sold out your parents. I'm not sure how he knew their whereabouts, but it makes sense."

Harry wants to believe Mr. Lupin, but it seems too convenient, too perfect an excuse. He realizes the man is still speaking.

"I was hoping Sirius could give me a clearer understanding of what happened before we told you. I didn't want to get your hopes up."

"You're lying to me. You're lying for him. You love him..." Harry sniffs again, loudly. Adults always let him down.

"Harry, I... I wouldn't lie. I do—or—I did love him. I don't know anymore where we stand, but the case, his innocence..." he trails off unsure of how to continue.

After a beat he picks up the conversation again. "You can decide what you want to do. We can go talk to Sirius and he can explain more before we choose our next move or we can go home and leave it to the lawyers. We can walk away right now.

Harry meets Remus’ waiting gaze. He doesn't see any trace of deception. The man who once looked so intimidating, looks safe and honest, and like he cares how Harry feels.

"I'll talk to him."

***

Sirius isn't sure what he expects. Remus had run from the room in search of his godson. The boy he loves most thinks the worst of him. He doesn't blame Harry, even knowing the truth Sirius still holds himself responsible. It was his job to keep James and Lily safe and he failed.

He waits patiently, it isn't like he can go anywhere. The door creaks and Sirius braces himself to be escorted back to his cell, instead he's faced with Harry. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy from tears.

"Hello." He sounds stupid, but what can he say?

Remus interrupts before Sirius can fumble further. "I explained what I know from Reggie. We are hoping you can fill in the rest.”

Sirius exhales, he's thankful for the direction.  "What exactly did my brother tell you?" Sirius doesn't miss the wide-eyed look Harry gives Remus at the mention of his brother.

"The lawyer I told you about." Remus whispers to Harry.

Remus summarizes the details of his meeting with Reg. Sirius sighs. "You already know most of what I do. James told me about a week before that he'd run into Peter at the park near their place. They weren't even supposed to be there, but James was going stir crazy and it was Peter... he was one of us." Sirius' throat gets tight. He takes a few breaths trying to calm down. He'll be damned if he breaks down in front of Harry.

"I didn't report it… James asked me not to. He didn't think it was a problem. Who would Peter tell? I knew it broke protocol…” Sirius runs his fingers through his hair. “After they were killed I went after Peter. I intended to confront him then everything went to shit. Sorry..." he belatedly looks at Harry. "Always did struggle not to swear in front of you. Thought Lily was going to ream my ass a few times when you were a baby." He smirks, sadness still firmly rooted in his eyes.

Remus shakes his head as yet another curse word leaves Sirius' mouth.

"It was my fault, I knew better. I should have reported it—moved them somewhere else. I thought I deserved to be here." He squeezes his eyes tight. He isn't going to fucking cry.

"Moony, I thought you both deserved better.” His voice cracks. “It's my fault." The last part is barely audible. He clears  his throat and turns his attention back to Harry.

"You look just like him, you know, James. He had the same untameable hair and it seems you got his eyesight too, poor kid. Blind as a bat without his glasses." He smiles wistfully.

Remus jumps in. "But he has Lily's temperament. Kind and thoughtful, but also willing to speak his mind and call people on their shit if needed." He looks at Harry with raised eyebrows obviously in reference to something Sirius wasn't privy to.

"You both knew me as a baby?" Harry seems surprised, hadn't Remus told him?

He looks at the man in question, Remus gently shakes his head and gives a look that says I'll explain later.

"Yeah Prongslet, you were a handful. Liked to pull hair. If I remember correctly Moony here had to rescue my luscious locks a few times from your grubby little hands." He winks at Moony.

Remus rolls his eyes, but smiles fondly.  God, he misses that smile.

"James was training you up to be a footballer. You could hardly walk, but he had you chasing around a ball. He was convinced you were a prodigy." He can't help but notice Harry's frown.

Remus puts a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Lily..."

"Alright Black, time to go." The guard shuffles over to where Sirius sits. As he's pulled to his feet Sirius clenches his jaw, but tries to keep a pleasant expression for Harry's sake.

"Thank you for meeting me Harry. I hope we get the chance to talk again." With that he's ushered out of the room.

***

Harry doesn't know what to believe. Until recently he didn't even know about his parents. Now he's met two of their supposed friends, one of whom may or may not be responsible for their deaths. What he does know, however, is that he still feels safe with Remus. He isn't ready to lose that feeling. So, for now he'll do what he can to keep him.

"Do you have any pictures of my parents?" The thought comes to his mind unbidden.

"Yeah, I do. I haven't had them out in years, but I still have them." Remus continues to drive. "I'll look for them when we get home."

Home, Harry smiles. He hopes Remus' house stays home for a while.

Later, after dinner, when he has finished getting ready for bed Remus enters, photo album under his arm.

"Did you still want to look at these pictures tonight?" he asks carefully.

Harry nods. It takes everything in his power to keep from appearing over eager. He bites his lip to hold back a smile. Remus flips through the pages. There is one of Harry waddling after a soccer ball. The next is him pulling a grumpy looking, orange cat's tail. There is one of four boys in what looks like a dorm room.

"That's James, your dad." Remus says, pointing to a boy in the center. It might have been a picture of Harry if it wasn't for the age difference. 

"This one is Sirius, and there is me." Harry realizes Remus doesn't have the scars yet, those must have happened later. "...and the one at the end here is Peter."

There is a picture of his parents at their wedding. They're smiling at each other and don't seem to notice they are being photographed. They continue to work through the album. At one point Harry reaches up to wipe his eyes. He hadn't realized he was crying. They were so happy.

***

Harry's visits become a regular occurrence. Sirius tells stories from when they were all at school together.

"Moony and Lily were the nerds amongst us. Made the rest of us look downright lazy in our studies." He winks at Remus.

Sirius tells him how he was made his godfather when he was born. "If I ever get out of here I could probably get custody of you. We could be a family."

Remus' mouth forms a hard line, but he doesn't say anything. Harry doesn't notice Moony's hesitancy, but he doesn't get overexcited at the prospect either.

They hadn't been able to talk about their situation yet. Sirius was being stupid. Harry already had Remus he wouldn't want to live with him, plus it all hinges on getting out of here. Who knew how long that could take if it happened at all.

***

Remus knows that Harry looks forward to their trips to see Sirius, but the man doesn't know much about his godson. It isn't his fault Remus knows, but… Remus decides to make a solo trip to the prison; he needs to clear up a few things. He has to protect Harry, even if that's from Sirius' good intentions.

"Where's Harry?" Sirius looks around like the boy will pop out at any moment.

"Just me today, Pads."

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Moony?"

"Sirius, I need you to be careful with Harry. He's been through a lot."

He watches as the other man's brow furrows and mouth turns down.

"Of course I'll be careful, Moony. What's this about?"

"There are a few things I think you need to know. First, Harry has been in and out of foster homes... not all of them very nice." He continues before Sirius can voice the questions that are so obviously at the tip of his tongue.

"On his first day with me he woke up at 6 am to make breakfast. He was 8 years old. He broke a mug… when I found him he was cowering in a corner. Sirius, he flinched when I tried to comfort him."

Sirius' face blanches. He knows the man is familiar with the signs, and not just in his professional capacity.

"When the detective came to the house to request he see you, I found Harry packing. He thought he was going to have to leave. He's made comments... he doesn't think he deserves good things to happen to him. Pads, I want nothing more than you to get out of here. I hate that you have been in here at all. I hate that you didn't fight harder. I hate that I didn't fight for you, but I will fight for Harry. Please don't get his hopes up about living with you. He's seen too much change and inconsistency. I just don't want him to be disappointed again." He whispers the last bit.

Sirius' eyes glisten with unshed tears and he nods.

"Moony, what about you? Are you getting your hopes up?" He asks quietly.

Remus takes a sharp breath. "Pads, I've always had hope, even when things were darkest. If you knew how many times I got in fights defending your honor…" He huffs a laugh. "Or when I decided to speak to Regulus. So, yeah Pads I have my hopes up."

Sirius reaches across the table and brushes Remus' hand.

***

Harry is worried. Remus has been on the phone too long. He's speaking in urgent whispers and pacing the hall. Harry has rarely seen the man worried. Remus sends him to the living room to watch cartoons, but Harry watches the conversation over the back of the couch. He knows something has happened.

Finally, he hangs up. Harry follows Remus’ hands as he scrubs them over his face and slumps against the wall. When Remus catches Harry watching he quickly straightens himself and shoots Harry a small smile.

They don't visit Sirius this week.

Harry likes school. He didn't think it was possible to like school,  but without Dudley there to bully him Harry is enjoying it.  He's making friends and he actually gets decent grades. On one of his recent assignments he received 100%. He brings it home to show Remus and decides he will show Sirius next week.

When Remus arrives home there's already a car in the driveway.  A man with black curly hair, who looks eerily similar to Sirius steps from the vehicle.

"Harry, why don't you go get a snack, and you can watch some TV while I talk to Regulus."

Regulus—as in Sirius' brother, the lawyer? Harry does as he's told and helps himself to some crackers and cheese before going to the living room. Once he turns on the TV he hears the adults enter the kitchen. As quietly as he can manage he creeps towards the kitchen and hides behind the door.

"We are making progress. They caught Pettigrew earlier this week, but that's also when Sirius had his accident."

Sirius had an accident? Is that why they hadn't been able to visit? But they caught the bad guy. That was good, right?

"What are you doing to protect him?" Remus' voice sounds dangerous.

The man in the suit, Regulus sighs. "They've moved him to a different wing of the prison and have him in protective custody."

"Fuck, Reg we both know how well that works."

"I know, I think we almost have enough. They've got access to Peter's bank records and there's a tie to Riddle. Did you know that a good portion of Riddle's enterprise dealt in explosives? That was always a point of contention with Sirius' case; there was never a money trail."

"Just hurry Regulus, I can't let something happen to him."

"You think I can?" The man's voice has a bite to it that wasn't there earlier.

The chairs scrape across the floor as they're pushed back to the table. Harry retreats to the living room.

***

Sirius' eye is still swollen; it's hard to see out of, but that's a minor inconvenience compared to the pain in his side. He hadn't even seen them coming. After this many years… He's used to watching his back, but they still caught him off guard.

They had punched him, then pulled a shiv. There had been a lot of blood. The guards were able to get the other inmate off him quickly, but not before the damage was done. He's recovered enough now that he hopes he can visit Harry this week.

He's been moved to protective custody, which means solitary confinement. Sure he is safe, but he is going to fulfill the expectation of the Black family insanity if he has to stay much longer.

On Saturday, a guard escorts him to the interview room. Thank God: he is going to get to see Harry and Moony. When the door opens he's momentarily disappointed to see Regulus sitting in Remus' seat.

"Don't look so excited, Sirius."

"Hello, Reggie." His brother rolls his eyes.

"I have good news. Pettigrew is in custody."

Sirius misses most of what Reggie says next. They caught the bastard. He's under no illusion that he will be out of here any time soon, but they caught the asshole and he can rest a little easier.

***

"Sirius, why do you guys have weird nicknames?"

Harry has already shown off his perfect assignment, receiving a high five from Sirius, and the obligatory nerd joke. “Must be spending too much time with Moony.”

"Oh, it's really dumb," Remus says.

Sirius laughs, "God, was it James that made us take the quiz?"

"Yeah, he took one of Lily's magazines." Remus shakes his head, also laughing.

"Your Dad made us take a quiz, I think it was like Find Your Spirit Animal or something. I don't know if he was even dating your mom yet, but he had a huge crush on her."

"Yeah, I'm not sure how our spirit animals were supposed to help him get an in with Lily, but that's why we did it."

"Moony, was of course a majestic wolf, I was a Dog, obviously, big and powerful to match my personality."

Remus rolls his eyes."Your Dad was a stag, and Peter, well his animal seems most fitting now.” Remus looks to Sirius.

“Yes, always was a rat, wasn't he.”

"We thought they were hilarious and came up with the names and they stuck, I guess."

During the visit Harry had mostly been able to ignore the large bruise on Sirius' face. He assumes it is from his 'accident.’ He also caught his godfather wincing and favoring his side when he stood. Harry, who was experienced in hiding injuries, noticed the attempts to camouflage his pain.

Sirius is in high spirits for the whole meeting. Harry runs and hugs him. Sirius gasps and clenches his jaw at the contact, but quickly recovers and returns the embrace before the guard pulls him back to his cell.

***

Remus is told Sirius will not be able to receive visitors other than his attorney for the next two weeks. He can see Harry's disappointment when he breaks the news.

Remus decides Harry needs to spend the next two weeks doing normal kid things. On Saturday, he takes him to a movie, followed by a picnic in the park.  A group of kids are playing football. He recognizes one from Harry's school.

The boy with flaming red hair runs over and asks if Harry can join.  Harry looks at Remus,  eyes pleading.

"Of course, have fun."

Harry runs up and down the field. The boy is quick. He isn't the best at ball handling, but Remus doubts he's had much opportunity to practice.

Harry falls asleep in the car on the way home.

The following day they go to a bookstore.  Harry chooses one book,  but Remus sees him eyeing many more. When the boy isn't looking he grabs some of the others that caught Harry's attention and adds them to their purchases. They end the day with ice cream.

Remus hasn't seen Harry this carefree since he's moved in. When the two weeks pass, Harry is looking forward to telling Sirius about his adventures. 

"And Hermione corrected the teacher and said they were wrong. She knows like, everything. Ron says she's annoying, but I think she's pretty nice."

Remus smiles fondly, it's hard to believe this talkative little boy is the same one he met almost a year ago.

The phone rings and he answers. Harry continues to ramble in the background about something funny Ron and his brother did. Remus listens to the call. Fuck, no visit this week either.  Regulus didn't give a reason just that it would have to be canceled. 

***

Harry spends most of the morning in his room after Remus tells him the visit is canceled again. It isn't fair. He squeezes his owl, and decides to read one of the books Remus bought for him. 

There's a knock at the door. He hears Remus answer. "Harry, come down here please."

Remus' voice sounds strange. He puts the book aside and slowly makes his way down the stairs. He makes out the quiet murmur of voices near the front door. As he rounds the corner he breaks into a run and jumps into Sirius' arms.

“I'm looking for a place to stay. Moony, mind if I lie low here for a while?”