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It was too loud.
And his patience was at its limit.
And maybe it had something to do with the continuous pounding in his head. Or maybe it was because of Ice's annoying tapping on the table. A habit he had acquired whenever he was eating good food.
He eyed the oatmeal in front of him in disgust.
"NOO! That's mine!" Thorn whined (he held back a wince as the sound pierced his skull) as Blaze stretched across Fang to grab his loaf of bread.
"Urgh—Boboiboy!" (They all turned to him) Fang scowled as he pushed the teen clad in red aside, "Couldn't you fuse back before breakfast?"
Gempa was about to answer but was interrupted by Taufan, "Awwe, but isn't it livelier with so many of us?"
"Breakfast is definitely more fun." Yaya agreed good-naturedly as she ate a scoop of her oatmeal.
Solar felt queasy as he watched this. Was it really just him who found the oatmeal disgusting (even though he didn't even eat a spoon of it)?
"I'm actually missing the times when—HEY!" Ying exclaimed as Blaze cackled in victory when he managed to grab her bread, before quickly stuffing it in his mouth.
"Blaze! Stop stealing other people's food!" Gempa exclaimed next to Halilintar, who silently finished his breakfast, "Ugh—maybe it's time we should all fuse back—"
Yes please. Between his growing headache and the noisy atmosphere, it would only be a matter of time before he 'accidentally' blow the headquarters up.
"Why exactly are you all split up like this?" Shielda asked as she expertly lifted her plate away from Blaze's hands.
Ice shrugged as he finished his bowl and started eyeing Solar's untouched one, "Training in a way? We want to check our limits when we're all separated like this. Are you going to eat that?"
Solar pushed it to him wordlessly. He wanted coffee anyway.
"Didn't Commander ask you to recreate that chemical?" Sai asked pointing his spoon at Solar, "That... weird shrink serum—?"
Solar tried not to cringe as the oatmeal dripped from the utensil and rubbed the bridge of his nose when his eyes started feeling heavy, "It's almost done."
"So soon?" He almost jumped as Halilintar spoke up, eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Didn't Commander just tell us about that yesterday evening?"
"I'm just that good." Solar smugly said causing the other to roll his eyes in exasperation.
What he failed to mention was that he had actually been working on the serum the whole night and barely got any sleep.
Not that he could get some sleep, even if he wanted to.
He didn't want to admit it to the others... but harboring the nightmares they usually had in their original form had (unfortunately) fallen on him instead.
And what's worse was that it was more vivid than when he wasn't in this elemental form. Was it because it was in his second-tier form when he had been thrown out into that cold, dark space?
(He dreamt he was back in that darkness floating— freezing— suffocating—)
"Solar?"
He froze as he realized he had spaced out. Thorn was looking at him worriedly, "Are you alright? You look pale."
He felt some eyes land on him (while the others watched Blaze make a ruckus with Gopal's bread).
"Maybe because he hasn't eaten anything." Ice said as he ate another spoonful of Solar's breakfast, causing Gempa to glare at him, unamused.
"Ice, give him back his food."
"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!"
Solar winced at Blaze's shout, it definitely made the pounding in his head worse.
"But he gave it to me." Ice pouted at Gempa.
"IT WAS MINE IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Gopal was pushing Blaze's face as the other kept reaching for his last piece of bread.
"Blaze! Stop stealing food or else!" Gempa shouted and Solar's patience was running thin at the loud noises and the ruckus.
"And Ice! Give Solar back his food!"
What happened to fusing back to normal?!
"But I'm hungryy—"
"You already ate three breads."
"But Gempaa, Solar gave it—"
"Ugghhh, it's too early in the morning for all these noises."
"Alright, I think we should all calm down."
"Solar?! Why are you pointing—"
"Will everybody please—"
Gempa was interrupted by the laser light that suddenly shot between Api and Gopal. There was a moment of silence as everyone gaped at the scorched markings on the wall behind the two before turning to Solar. The elemental was standing on his seat, scowling as his left eye twitched.
His head won't stop pounding, why won't it stop—
"What the heck—do you know how dangerously close I was—"
"Shut up!" Blaze surprisingly shut his mouth at the other's retaliation.
Everybody was looking at him now, both in fear and caution (even Hali had took out his swords). He was aware as to why, as he remembered his first impression to them was not so good. His lack of participation in team fights and how he had destroyed their headquarters—they definitely had a reason for looking at him like that.
He was unpredictable in a sense.
But it annoyed him nonetheless. The way they eyed him as if he was ready to destroy this headquarters too. He wasn't stupid—if he did that, he'd die too and would end up back in that cold, dark space and—and—
"Solar, what's wrong?"
Gempa had stood up from his seat, looking worried rather than afraid. Maybe because he could sense how woozy he felt?
(Is that possible though? Whenever they're split up like this—he always saw his counterparts as different people instead of his other halves. With their different views and personalities and lack of mental communication and all—)
He wanted to say something... but his voice won't come out.
He ends up pinching the bridge of his nose once more, his visor being pushed up by the action.
"Solar...?" He heard Thorn speak up in front of him.
He winced at the other's meek tone, "I have to go."
He had to finish that serum anyway. He thinks that maybe his last experimental serum was too diluted, which explains why Ice's plush hadn't shrunk as much as he expected. (Oh yeah, he had to make another serum to fix that before Ice finds out.)
Maybe if he added more of that acid from Thorn's weird plant and—why are there suddenly black spots covering his vision? And why was the headquarters tilting? Are they under attack—
He was cut off from his rambling thoughts when a hand (he caught bits of red sparks) grabbed his arm and his name(s) being called in shock and worry by the others (but why did they sound so distant? Like he was in a tunnel... which was ridiculous since he was in the cafeteria... and the cafeteria was anything but a tunnel—).
"—lar? Can you hear me?"
He realized he was sitting on the ground. One shaky arm supporting his slumped figure while the other being held firmly by Halilintar who was speaking in a (thankfully) low tone, trying to get his attention.
He let out a breath he hadn't realize he was holding, trying to gather his thoughts as to—what just happened?!
"I think I stood up too fast..." He quickly reasoned, trying to push down the shame and embarrassment he felt at the thought that he almost fainted (Him. The strongest element—faint—).
Halilintar hummed trying to deceive him into thinking he agreed but the trace of doubt was thick in the other's tightening grip on his arm.
"When did you start working on that serum again?" Halilintar deliberately asked just as Gempa suddenly appeared and knelt in front of him, concern palpable in the way the other's eyes scanned his face.
"After dinner last night." He scowled, trying not to sound indignant or defensive.
Which seemed to not assure Gempa at all with the way his brows scrunched further. He made to get up and leave but Halilintar's grip was strong—
(And maybe he let him stay grounded... he doesn't trust his legs at the moment.)
"Now that you mentioned it..." Yaya was next to appear, "We never saw you the whole night after dinner."
And he was suddenly aware that the group had stood from their seats and formed a loose circle around him, trying to check up on him while at the same time trying not to crowd him.
"You've been working the whole night?" Solar could practically hear the frown in Fang's tone.
He then finds himself thinking of plans on how to 'solar leap' away from this uncomfortable situation without frying Halilintar and Gempa in his wake when hands suddenly held his forearms. He looked up to see Thorn, emerald eyes piercing his own.
"You look like you're about to throw up."
"I'm not—" His protest was interrupted when Thorn suddenly pulled him up.
"Come on, I know just the thing to help you!"
Before he could protest, he was (to his relief) being dragged out of the cafeteria.
Away from prying eyes.
Away from those distrustful stares.
Away from those disapproving whispers.
(He was being stupid and paranoid. He knew deep down that wasn't the case at all as they left.)
He let out a shaky breath without him realizing it and ignored how Thorn looked back at him for a second before proceeding to drag him to who knows where.
"Can you tell us what's going on in that brilliant mind of yours?" Halilintar had apparently followed them, and since he can hear another set of footsteps—so had Gempa.
He glared to the side and was surprised to see the usually intimidating element staring at him calmly without a hint of exasperation as he normally would. He finds himself looking back at Thorn's turned back, "I'm fine, it's just a headache."
They finally got the hint that he wanted them to shut up and had fortunately stopped asking any more unnecessary questions.
"Oh, we're here!" Thorn exclaimed in delight as he proceeded to drag Solar into one of the station's greenhouse and he couldn't help but scrunch his nose at the scent of rain and greenery when they entered.
It wasn't... bad. He just wasn't used to it since all the familiar scents to him were mostly disinfectants and chemicals.
It helped ease some of the throbbing in his head, much to his surprise.
"Come on, there's a spot by the window where I usually rest after attending to the plants. It's got pillows and everything!" Thorn said dragging him across rows of unfamiliar plants with leaves colored in blues, reds, and purples, and in varying shapes he had never seen in earth before.
Then, he froze as the other's words sunk in, surprising Thorn as he was met with resistance.
"Solar?"
"I..." He cleared his throat when he felt bile trying to claw its way up. He didn't want—couldn't— he'll see that dark void—the stars—he'll remember the chill- the cold-
"Not the window... I-" Was he shaking?
He couldn't tell— he can't concentrate with his mind being so loud.
"Solar? Hey—hey!" Gempa was next to Thorn and they were crouching on the ground again. Why did he always end up on the ground—
-better the ground than back on that cold dark space-
-no, shut up!-
He almost killed his friends too- and himself- and-
"What's up, guys?" Someone just entered—and he covered his ears not exactly sure what he was trying to accomplish when the voices are in his head and the throbbing just. Won't. Stop-!
"Taufan, now's not the time-" Halilintar sounded firm, but there was a trace of panic—
--the tone sounded similar as when his friends tried to tell him to end the fight, but his arrogance had almost led him to everyone's doom-
"—going on?"
It had led him to that dark, cold, space—his element so unbalanced he almost killed everyone and himself
- and he was scared-
If it weren't for Captain Kaizo he—
And his senses were suddenly filled with a fruity yet smoky scent as round leaves in red and brown were suddenly shoved to his face, completely cutting him off from his sudden breakdown.
"—dragonsnap berry plant! Remember that time we went to that Lava planet? Planet Vol-something- anyway, even with all the lava, they actually have this kind of plant!" Thorn's chattering suddenly filled the room, "It produces these weird, dark red berries that are spicier than the chili pepper we have at home! And the berries look like a heart too! It's so cool—but it kind of stopped being cool when Yaya wanted to have the berries for her new recipe for her cookies. Gopal and I tried to hide the berries to all the possible hiding places we could find, but Commander got mad at us when he found some berries in the vents."
"No wonder why the ship had been smelling like burnt cooking last night." He mumbled as he finally let his hands down and looked up at Thorn. The elemental froze as he realized he had finally snapped out from his breakdown and quickly put down the plant before grabbing another one from the left row.
This time it was colored blue and the stems were slender and smooth with the leaves all jagged at the edges, almost like broken glass. He touched the leaves, a little fascinated at how thick and smooth the surface were as well.
"This one is called the 'Swamp Hedge'! Fang told me they came from the Rainforest Planet! It's pretty elegant despite the name!" Thorn put the plot in his hands, "It smells like the rain too and always make me feel pretty calm. Ice likes it too! He said so himself when he would come here to help me water the plants."
He looked at those green eyes before looking back down at the plant, putting it down on the ground to gently pinch the thick squishy leaf. He watched in amazement as moisture seeped out of the pores that appeared from the pressure before disappearing just as he let it go.
"You should come here often, Solar. You'll find more interesting plants you'd want to study on. You can even give them some of your light! Photo-something and all that~!"
"They already have their needed light here for photosynthesis." Solar sniffed, taking off his visor and wiping his face when he realized tears had trickled down from earlier.
"Yeah but they're not real—they're—they're architectural—"
"Artificial, Thorn." He couldn't help but giggle at the other's attempt.
"Yeah!! That! Yours is real. I can tell. And the plants would love your light the most!"
He let out another laugh at how sure and insistent the other looked before turning around to realize it was just him and Thorn. Where did the others go?
"Does your head still hurt?'
Solar put the plot down, "Just a little..."
Thorn kept staring at him, "You don't want to be near the window?"
"I... no... I'm—it's—"
"We don't have to talk about it." Thorn softly said as he leaned back on the counter of plants, trying to sit more comfortably. Solar followed suite, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with his opposite.
"You look scared... whenever you remember it." Thorn said softly, "I don't want you to be scared."
Solar felt his heart warm up at the simple statement, "I'm okay."
"Gempa and the others left to make a pillow fort."
Solar couldn't help but snort.
"They figured your lack of sleep is causing this." He shut his eyes letting the scent of the room and Thorn's gentle tone take over his senses, "He said we should try napping together before fusing back to normal."
"That's stupid." He couldn't stop himself from commenting, "All this would be solved if we just go back to normal."
"Or it won't make whatever is going on with you go away."
"Probably."
"It's times like these that you need family to help you understand." Thorn sounded so sure that Solar couldn't help the laugh that escaped him.
"What are you talking about?"
"We're like brothers. You, me, Gempa, Haililintar, Taufan, Ice and Blaze~" Thorn grinned widely at him, "Don't you think so?"
So it wasn't just him who thought that way. Then again—they were one and the same... and yet different.
He looked away from the elemental and turned to look back at the blue plant, "I almost got us killed."
He felt Thorn freeze next to him.
"Not just us... but our friends... and everyone else in TAPOPs." Solar felt his eyes grew warm as his vision blurred, "The nightmare... it's clearer, and feels so real it's like I'm back out there."
"Solar..."
"This power..." He looked down his power watch, for the first time feeling something cold, hard, and hateful, "It shouldn't have existed if it'll only lead to all of us getting endangered—"
A hand grabbed his clenched one, "You saved everyone, Solar."
He looked back at Thorn. His eyes looked so sad.
"I blasted myself out into space and destroyed our station trying to defeat one bad guy."
"Blaze destroyed someone's home planet."
"He just ruined the house!"
"And you just ruined a space ship!"
"You're forgetting I destroyed more than one."
"This is stupid." Thorn huffed and crossed his arms, "You're stupid."
Too mentally drained to counter, he crossed his arms and leaned further back, trying to make himself as small as possible. Who knew a small nightmare was enough to beat the almighty, powerful element.
He let out another shaky sigh as his head throbbed once more.
Solar then felt Thorn shift next to him, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
He scoffed, "Really? What changed your mind?"
Thorn just stayed silent before suddenly sitting up in front of him and pulling him into a hug.
That definitely surprised him.
He actually wanted to wiggle out of the hug, but instead he finds himself sinking into the warm comfort. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and before he knew it... he finds himself clutching the other's back as he felt the other tighten his hold around him.
"I'm not good with words like you, but Gempa told me when someone looks like they need a hug, you just do it." Thorn mumbled, "And the person will understand.... No words needed."
He... definitely felt warmer. And less sad.
"But I just want you to know, just in case..." Thorn sounded like he was going to cry, "That without you, Boboiboy will feel incomplete. And I'll be sad... along with everyone else."
"Thorn..."
"You're not alone. You're not in that stupid space anymore. You're here with us, ready to fight bad guys!"
"I'm not really up to it right now..." He chuckled and buried his face against his shoulder. It felt nice, "But, alright. I know what you're trying to say...so, thank you."
They stayed like that for awhile before Solar insisted he let him go (which Thorn reluctantly did with a pout).
They then continued discussing about the different kinds of plants around them, with Solar nodding off as the lack of sleep finally hit him. The last thing he remembered before dozing off was Thorn's discussion about how he had decided growing a cactus from Cattus' planet and wondering if they were flame-proof so that a certain elemental will stop destroying his plants.
And once he was back to the unconsciousness, he wasn't surprised when he dreamt of that never ending, dark black space once more and quickly sat up gasping in horror, feeling the suffocation and cold—
"Hey, hey... it's just a dream." Bright golden eyes met his and he realized Gempa was crouching in front of him rubbing his arms in comfort, "Go back to sleep..."
"I... I don't think..." He felt someone grab his hand from beside him, he turned to see Thorn squinting at him, eyes heavy with sleep. He then realized all the other elements had fallen asleep around him with blankets and pillows thrown around in an attempt to make it look like a 'fort'.
Which obviously failed.
"Go back to sleep." Thorn whined.
"But..."
"If it makes you feel better, I'll stay awake and make sure all the bad dreams don't come near you." Gempa looked so serious that Solar couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"We're not kids anymore, Gempa. We both know that's not how it works." It's what his dad used to tell Boboiboy as a kid. It always did get him to go back to sleep, knowing that his dad was there to watch over him and protect him.
"I guess you have a point..." Gempa said as he then went to sit at his other side, "But trust me... go back to sleep. Close your eyes and remember that you're not alone. That's all you have to do."
Solar rolled his eyes but did as what the other said. Too tired to go against his leader.
He still found it stupid since they could just get this over with and fuse back. And yet, they insist on doing something so unnecessarily sentimental.
As he shut his eyes, he felt Thorn snuggled closer next to him... he listened to the soft snores and sleepy mumbles. He listened to the sound of the sheets rustling as Gempa hummed a familiar tune from a certain opening song of detective Conon (much to his amusement).
And just like that, he was off to dreamland once more. But instead of the usual dark chasm, he was in a wide bright field. His grandpa and friends were waving at him to join the picnic they were having under this big tree— and Gempa appeared next to them, carrying baskets of bread with Halilintar following right behind him. Blaze and Taufan then fell from the big tree to snatch the baskets that they were carrying before running away with glee, only to be caught by a giant Cattus, with Thorn and Ice riding on his back.
He chuckled and turned, only to freeze as he saw his original self. He was covered in bruises and scratches and he was in his hospital gown. (The same one he wore after being unconscious for days.)
However, despite his appearance, he didn't looked at him with accusation or anger... instead he was smiling widely and, much to his surprise, he suddenly gave him the signature thumbs up.
He was stunned.
He opened his mouth about to say something... to apologize... to himself...? Which is weird... but at the same time felt right. He felt like he owe it to them for putting himself and their friends in danger like that.
He had been careless- and arrogant- and so full of himself he-
...was hugging him?
A soft breeze carressed his hair as he tried to process what on earth was happening.
Everything was just a dream... right? But why did it feel so warm and real...? Why was he even hugging himself? It was stupid— he didn't—
"Thank you, Solar. For protecting everyone."
He paused at the warm, sincere tone. The heavy feeling in his chest (he never knew was there) suddenly disappeared, along with the insecurities, regrets, horror and... fear.
His vision blurred.
And finally...
.
.
.
He understood.
.
.
.
No more nightmares will be bothering him ever again.
END