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The stepstones of the godswood in Summerhall echoed as Daeron’s feet shuffled from left to right. He tried hard not to fall but within a few meters he collapsed. Daeron didn’t even try to get up since he knew he’d fall again under his own weight. The wind whistled in the godswood, prompting him to crack open his eyes. Daeron saw his mother’s face preserved in cold marble. Flowers were always present by her feet. Once he mustered the strength to get up he approached the statue. The flowers were purple roses that she said used to remind her of Starfall where she grew up. He took one of them from her feet and smelled. Cut new and still fresh. He wonders who put it there, then Daeron sobs. Even with no one around he wipes the tears of his face. Don’t let father see.
From the balcony of the castle, Maekar watches as his son cries with only a bottle of wine to help keep the dreams at bay and more. He wonders what goes on in Daeron’s mind, and his son helps convince him to fight in the trial. It was only here and now did he realize it was his own doing and not Daeron’s. He convinced himself of Ser Duncan’s crime despite Aegon’s own protests. The prince sighs heavily one last time before returning indoors.
Daella makes a big deal out of writing her thoughts in a diary. A journal made out of leather with illustrations by her late mother given on her name day last year. Rhae sat on the carpet, experimenting with different hairstyles for her dolls. She was rather the imaginative one, full of energy bursts while Daella was solemn. The sisters got along well, and of the two Daella was older while Rhae’s boredom grew from where she sat on a desk.
“Do you think father loves us?” Rhae asked, looking up at Daella.
The elder of the sisters stopped writing and looked at Rhae.
“Father loves all of us,” Daella replied. “Even Aerion if that’s what you mean.”
“Why doesn’t he talk to us?” Rhae asked, as innocent as a dove. “Is it because he did something bad?”
“Yes,” Daella answered after she hesitated to say so. “But he didn’t mean to.”
She walked over to Rhae and her dolls and sat beside her.
“I wish mother were here,” Rhae said, resting her head on Daella’s shoulder.
I wish we could go back to the way things were. Daella wanted to say but didn’t. She knew that would only serve to make both of them cry.
Evening came, and then supper. The four Targaryens sat in silence as they ate. Daeron washed his meal of roasted beef, carrots and potatoes with a flagon of wine. While their father touched his food, but barely ate. Rhae announces that she finished her meal. Once Daella finished hers, she turned to their father.
“May we be excused for the rest of supper, father?”
Maekar nodded in reply, barely meeting her eyes. Eyes that reminded him of Dyanna.
Once the sisters left, Maekar felt it was his duty to speak to Daeron, but the words did not come. Meanwhile, his son scraped the last of the potatoes on his plate.
Maekar opened his mouth to speak, but Daeron bolted out of the solar like lightning.
Again, he was alone.
The night grew colder, late. Daeron wakes up from a merciless dream, one of many to come. He reaches for the bottle of wine beneath his bed and stalks into the night. He sees his sisters’ faces during supper. They were terrified and anxious. Maybe he was hallucinating since he can’t imagine Daella being scared and Rhae not knowing anything yet. When he presses his ear to the door of their chambers he could hear his sisters talk.
“I know you’re there, brother,” said Daella. “Come hither.”
Daeron opens the door and closes it behind him. Once he reaches his sisters, takes a seat on the foot of Rhae’s bed. He sobs and wipes away the tears and sweat off his face.
“I’m sorry,” he sobs as he takes a sip of wine.
“We know you are,” Daella said as she walked over to him. “You don’t have to keep punishing yourself over it.” she adds as she attempts to take the bottle of wine away from her brother.
Daeron holds on to the bottle, hesitant to give it to her. After a moment he hands it over.
“Have you and father spoken yet?” Rhae asked earnestly.
He was exhausted with the question in his own thoughts. He didn’t need to hear it from one of his sisters. Daeron turns to Rhae with eyes that scrambled to not meet her own violet eyes.
“What do you think?”
“I think father would take the pain away from you if he could,” Daella said that nearly made Daeron laugh if he weren’t so sad.
“Do you wish mother were here, brother?” Rhae asked innocently.
“Yes,” he said low enough for his sister to lean closer.
Rhae inched closer to Daeron for the first time since he and their father arrived. Their older brother didn’t move from where he sat. Rather, he welcomed the comfort his sisters gave him that his father could not.
When Rhae wrapped her arms around his neck, he returned the gesture. It lasted longer than anything he’d received after he got worse.
“Come on, it’s time for bed.” Daeron told his sisters. “I’ll tuck you both in.” he wonders if he knew how without his hands shaking.
The early morning hours came, and Maekar wasted no time for rest or sleep. How could he when he’d killed Baelor? Even when rest called to him he would wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat. Thinking of Dyanna’s reaction to him killing his own brother and the reasons he’d sent Aegon away to squire for a hedge knight.
He decides to visit his daughters in Daella’s room since Rhae still clung on to her for comfort. Something Maekar was never good at. His footfalls echoed the corridors and hallways leading up to his daughter’s chambers. Highlighting just how alone he’d been in his grief. He knocks on the door, not expecting them to be awake but he does anyway. When Maekar opens the door he sees Daeron sprawled on the foot of bed. Daella and Rhae sleep next to each other peacefully.
Maekar looks at Daeron, he couldn’t remember the last time his son had slept in peace. He’d learned months after reflecting on the tragedy in Ashford that Daeron’s failure was his own, so was Aerion’s. Wounding his own pride, his own ego. He tried so hard to do better than Baelor at nearly everything that he never forged any lasting relationships with his children, something Baelor had with his own. Aerion who he’d pinned his hopes in turned out to be a monster. And certainly Aemon, Aegon and the girls were better off without him for a father.
He closes the door behind him and walks over to Daella’s cabinet. It was an old blanket, one of Dyanna’s that she took with her from Starfall to King’s Landing then later on to Summerhall. He places the purple blanket over Daeron, careful enough not to wake him. As he did so, he made the choice to finally speak to his children in the morning. It could no longer wait.
“Father?” Daeron’s voice pulled him back to reality. “What are you doing?”
His son’s voice was loud enough to wake his sisters. Daella woke first followed by Rhae.
Maekar hunched down next to Daeron who looked like he’s about to bolt out of the room.
“What is it, father?” Daella asked with Rhae beside her on the bed, inching closer to their father and brother.
Maekar got up and moved to the window, sighing up at the full moon. Daeron clutches the blanket closer to him remembering it was his mother’s.
“If your mother were here she would’ve taken you with her to Starfall,” Maekar began. “Whatever your brother told you, he is not at fault.” he turned to face his children.
“It was a mishap, father.” Daeron’s voice cracked. “You didn’t mean to.”
“I tell myself that each passing day since Ashford,” Maekar replied. “Had I not believed my own delusions; he would’ve still been alive.”
“Is that why you gave Aegon away?” Daella asked this time.
Maekar remained silent. Daella had learned queues as to when her father was telling it as it is. This one was one of them even if he’d never say it out loud.
This time around, Rhae got off the bed and ran to embrace Maekar who stood stiff.
“The man you call father doesn’t deserve such a gift,” Maekar said, his arms still on his sides.
“That’s just love, father” Daella said, walking over to their father for a hug. “There’s nothing you can do about it.” Daella said, placing her arms around his neck.
Daeron said not a word, but he felt the weight on his father’s shoulders. His embrace may not mean anything to the man, but he wanted to be in his father’s arms after such a long time away.
To his children’s surprise, Maekar wrapped his arms around them and they collapsed on the floor.