Work Text:
For some unfathomable reason, his daughter hated sleep. She hated it. Any sleep between the hours of four and five-thirty A.M. to be specific. She also liked to wake up at least once before then for a snack. During the day, she napped like a champ. But she just didn’t like sleeping at night. To be honest, it was getting old and didn’t really make sense. There was nothing going on at 4:45 in the morning. But there was his little girl, looking around and waiting for something to happen. Any attempts to put her back in her crib ended in her wailing and reaching for him. She wasn’t hungry and she didn’t need to be changed. The adorable little sleep depriver just had no interest in giving her old man a break.
She was also picky about how far he could walk with her. If he got too far from the window, she chirped at him. If he tried to lay her down in between him and Peggy, she squirmed and cried. If they went into the kitchen, all hell would break loose.
“Come on, Sara,” he bargained. “Just this one time, close your eyes for me.” She blinked at him and smiled slightly. Not gonna happen, Pops.
Trying to reign his exasperation in, he lifted his head to the ceiling and asked a higher being for patience. He continued to pace the bedroom quietly.
He had to keep moving or he would fall asleep standing up. It wouldn’t be the first time either. In the eight months since bringing Sara home from the hospital, both he and Peggy had fallen asleep at work. While her coworkers were more sympathetic, he got an earful every time. Steve constantly reminded himself that he was in the past where men weren’t expected to wake up with babies in the middle of the night. But just because it was the social norm didn’t mean he had to like it or abide by it. He knew how precious time and the time he got with his family was. He had no intention of wasting it. So while he was silently cursing his daughter’s sleeping habits now, he was still grateful for the time. He just wished they could bond at a more civilized time.
Steve felt for Peggy though. He could push back against what others said at work, but she took the brunt of the guilt tripping in their relationship. She worked part time because she wanted to. Sara stayed with Mrs. O’Brien across the street a couple mornings a week and Peggy went to work. Steve knew she wasn’t built to be a stay-at-home mother. Peggy knew it too. She wouldn’t be happy cooped up all day through the week. But that didn’t mean that others understood and, unfortunately, too many felt the need to voice their opinion on the topic.
Most days, she was torn between being productive and getting fulfillment from work and feeling guilty for not staying at home with her child.
It was a discussion the couple had all throughout the pregnancy. It was a discussion that carried over into Peggy’s maternity leave. It was a decision that she questioned often but ultimately knew was right. Sara was better off with a mother who was happy and contributing to the family. Both were concerned about what staying home would do to Peggy’s mental health. Maternity leave was hard enough. She had to get out of the house. But working with a baby at home came with its own set of worries, like being shamed often.
With Steve’s income, she didn’t have to work. They could live comfortably, and Steve offered to put in more hours if she wanted to stay home. But it wasn’t the money and they both knew it. So, they kept the current arrangement and tried to ignore other people’s opinions.
Sara’s chirp interrupted his train of thought. He’d gotten too close to the bedroom door. Arching an eyebrow at the baby, he said, “Young lady, you’re getting bossy.” Then changed direction and tiptoed back toward the bed. “If you mother wasn’t trying to sleep, I put you back to bed.” She blinked at him again. “I would.” He whispered. They both knew it was a lie. He was wrapped around her finger. Looking back at the bed, he saw that Peggy was dead to the world. “You see that? Hmm? You made Mommy tired. Don’t you want to go to sleep so Daddy isn’t tired like Mommy?” Steve knew he wouldn’t be getting a response but there was something nice about trying to have a conversation with the baby.
He shifted her in his arms, so her head lay on his shoulder. Her soft breath on his neck calmed him some. He may not be able to get his daughter to sleep through the night, but he could hold her and love her. Not for the first time, he wondered how Clint and Laura did it and longed to speak to his friend and get advice.
Steve didn’t have any friends outside of Peggy. And while he loved his wife, he missed his friends. He missed the companionship he had with Sam, Bucky, Clint, and even Tony. His heart lurched as he thought about Morgan Stark. Sending a good wish her way, he turned his mind back to Clint and wondered what the archer would have to say on the topic. Steve closed his eyes and pictured Clint’s farm and the kids playing in the field. He imagined sitting on the back porch with his friend. They sipped beer and talked about the kids. Clint would chuckle at him and give him a hard time before letting him in on the big secret.
Kids don’t come with manuals, Cap. Each one is different. You just gotta figure them out, he’d shrug. Like it was no big deal, and he’d never stressed about the same exact situation. It’s not like bossing us around, right? He’d laugh good naturedly at Steve’s predicament. Steve could see how his eyes twinkle when he’s in a teasing mood. The crooked grin that grew when Steve was blowing something out of proportion.
Yeah, he missed Clint.
For a minute, he let himself wonder what it would be like if they were still on the same timeline. Steve didn’t doubt that Clint would be Uncle Clint. He’d dote on her and tease that she was a cute kid and for that reason there was no way she was Steve’s. He’d teach her how to shoot a bow and arrow just like he taught his kids. “Clint would have loved you, sweetheart,” he murmured and rubbed her back.
He stopped his thoughts there and forced himself to be present in that moment. Longing for things that would never be wasn’t good for him. But it was hard not to indulge every so often.
Tilting his head to kiss his baby, he realized that she was staring at the window. His senses sharpened. Did she see something he hadn’t? Pulling the curtain to the side, he didn’t see anything, but she was fixated on the window. Like she was waiting for something to happen. Changing direction, he moved away from the window only to turn back when she started to squirm. He heard it a second later. A bird chirped outside the window. Her eyes widened dramatically, and Steve had to stop himself from laughing.
Suddenly, her head swiveled up to catch his gaze. Big blue orbs caught his own. They practically screamed, ‘Did you hear that!’
“Yeah,” he whispered. “There’s a birdy outside.” Part of him grimaced at the terminology but embraced it anyway. He had a baby. It was only natural that he would baby talk some of the time. “Did you hear him?”
She turned back to the window when the bird chirped again. Then he started to whistle out a tune. By the time he was done, Sara was asleep. She was dead to the world, just like her mother in the bed beside them.
“Are you kidding me? That’s what you were waiting for?” Steve said in disbelief. For a second, he could hear Clint chuckling at him. “Yeah, yeah. Kids don’t come with manuals. I know.”
Now that Steve knew what to look for, it was easier to see the signs. The baby still woke up for a post-midnight snack. And she still started to fuss around 4:00 am. But she was always looking at the window when she woke up. She was waiting for the bird to sing her a song. And she was excited because her Pops was in on the secret too!
Ever since the early morning that Steve figured out why his daughter had to be awake, she didn’t wake up crying. She chirped at him to wake up and get ready for their song. Standing at the side of her crib, her bright blue eyes tracked him as he made his way to her.
He was starting to enjoy their early mornings together. Yes, he was still tired. Yes, he wanted to sleep later but things were getting better. A couple of times, he had managed to convince her that it wasn’t time for their song yet. He moved a chair into the bedroom next to the window. The baby would doze off in his arms for another hour and wake just as the bird started to sing.
A few times, he managed to get her back to sleep by whistling to her. The first time he did this left Peggy extremely confused and annoyed.
“Steve,” she grumbled and threw a pillow at him.
“Shhh,” he hushed and handed her back the pillow. “I think it’s working.”
“What’s working?” she looked over to see Sara dozing off. “How’d you do that?”
Instead of answering, he finished the tune he was whistling and laid the baby back in her crib. Then joined his wife in bed. “I found the manual.” He yawned into his own pillow and pulled the sheet up to his chest.
“What manual?”
“I’ll explain later.” He waved her off. “Sleep now. That won’t hold for too long.” Peggy was already out.
.......
“I think we should move Sara into her room this weekend.”
Peggy’s thought left him reeling. Surely it was too soon for that? She was still little and didn’t sleep through the night. She couldn’t be leaving them that soon. Air got stuck in his throat. His wife noticed his hesitation and smiled gently at him.
They had just gotten into bed. Sara had already been asleep for a few hours by the time they turned in for the night. It was a routine they were used to after eight months. They tiptoed around the baby in the dark and spoke at a constant whisper.
“It’s time, dear.” She combed her fingers through his hair to soften the blow of her words.
“What if she needs us?”
“We’ll be there for her.” She said patiently. “Just two doors down.”
“We finally figured out her sleep schedule.” He argued.
“She’ll adjust to a new one.” Peggy countered.
“Peg, the bird sings outside our window.”
She fought the urge to laugh at her husband. He wasn’t taking this well. Becoming a father had changed Steve in so many wonderful ways. Their love grew deeper and more intimate. He was softer and warmer than before. She was starting to wonder if she would have to be the disciplinarian in the house then shook the thought away. That would be no problem.
“I’m sure she’ll be able to hear him from down the hall. She’ll still be on the same side of the house.”
“It won’t be the same.” Steve mumbled and threw a weak glare her way. He knew she was right, but he didn’t have to like it. “She needs me, Peg.”
“Of course, she does,” she slid her hand down to his neck. “Darling, the poor thing hasn’t learned to walk yet. She’s going to need us for quite some time. But it is past time that she move into her room. This is a good thing, Steve.”
Steve’s eye fluttered close as she kneaded his neck with her expert fingers. “How is this good?”
“Well, we will have our space back again,” she trailed off. “To do with as we please.” He peaked an eye open to see her sizing him up.
Chuckling slightly, he shifted so she was pressed against his side. “I didn’t realize you weren’t satisfied, Mrs. Rogers.”
“Oh, I am satisfied Captain.” She teased. “But I would like to go back to our regular ‘relations’.”
Steve supposed Peggy did have a fair point. He refused to have ‘relations’ with his daughter in the room, which means their love life, while still alive, wasn’t as active as it once was. It was limited to nap time and the rare moments Sara was still at the sitters in the afternoon.
Heaving a sigh, he relented. “Alright, but I reserve the right to check on her as many times as I want.”
“As long as you don’t wake her up,” Peggy clarified.
“Deal.” They sealed the agreement with a heated kiss.
......
That weekend brought on a new set of sleeping issues. It wasn’t so much that Sara was scared. She was just confused. She looked at Steve like her world had been turned upside down.
The reality was she was getting acclimated, but he wasn’t.
He was restless in the evenings and found himself reassessing the layout of their home. Peggy, God love her, rolled with the punches.
On the second night of Sara sleeping in her own room, he suddenly said, “Why did we take the back bedroom?”
“Because it’s the biggest room, dear.” She turned the page of her book.
“Hmm,” Steve walked the hallway and then stood in the entryway to the living room. “Her bedroom is closer to the front door.”
“Yes, darling.” Peggy didn’t look up from her book.
“If someone breaks in, they’ll get to her bedroom first.” Steve mused and looked back down the hallway.
“No, they won’t.”
Steve gaped at his wife. He wasn’t trying to start an argument, but she was being unreasonable.
She looked up from her book this time. “Not with your speed, dear. No one is getting to that bedroom before you.” Steve pushed the thought of Pietro Maximoff from his head. Fine, she had him there.
“It’ll be easier for her to sneak out.” He mumbled under his breath.
“She has to learn how to walk first.” Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his wife. “Really now, Steve? She just mastered crawling. Give the girl some time to get her feet under her.” This time he did roll his eyes. She only smirked at him. His eye twitched.
“I’m being serious, Peg.”
“You’re being ridiculous.” She closed her book. “We are not rearranging our home for a baby. She is safe and perfectly happy in her own bedroom.”
“She doesn’t like it as much as our bedroom.” He argued.
“She doesn’t know the difference!” Peggy sighed. “Dear Lord, if you’re like this now, how will you be when she starts school?” The statement had Steve’s thoughts grinding to a halt. For a brief moment, he forgot to breathe. She would grow up and go to school one day. His baby would become a little girl and then a young lady and then a woman. “Steve, breathe.” Suddenly, she was standing in front of him.
“We should have had a boy!” He realized. He wouldn’t be this worked up over a son, right? Peggy fixed him with a look. He really was being ridiculous.
Taking his hand, she asked. “What is the real problem?”
Steve realized that he couldn’t quite put it into words. All he could think to say was, “It’s been eight months already. I blinked and now she’s crawling.”
Her eyes softened. “I know. We waited for nine months to meet her and now time is going faster than it ever did while I was pregnant.”
“You did hate being pregnant.” Steve pointed out.
“It didn’t suit me.” She agreed.
A question formed on the tip of his tongue. He needed to know. “Would you do it again?”
“Absolutely.” She answered before he got the entire question out. The smile that spread across her face lit up the room and warmed his chest.
“Now?” He figured he was pushing his luck but needed to know.
Her smile didn’t falter. She compromised. “Soon.” He could live with soon.
Pulling her into his arms, he kissed Peggy until they were both short on air. “Okay, we don’t have to rearrange the bedrooms but if they sneak out it’s your fault.”
“You’ll hear them before they get to the front door.” Not for the first time that evening, she was right.
.....
By the end of the week, Steve found himself waking up in the middle of the night to go to Sara’s bedroom. He was awake before she was. He rolled his eyes at himself and leaned over the crib. Her tiny rib cage moved in and out with her breath. Hands curled into fists, she sighed in her sleep and twitched a little. Steve resisted the urge to pick her up. The sun wasn’t even up yet. Sara’s bird was quiet. He noticed that the birds were quieter in this room and made him consider switching their living arrangements once again. Then she was blinking up at him. Her soft, blue eyes twinkled at him.
“I’m a little early,” Steve whispered. “But I didn’t think you’d mind.” She gummed on one fist and lifted her other one up to him. He didn’t worry about picking her up now that she was awake. Bringing her up to his chest, she immediately nuzzled into his neck and his skin warmed under her breath. She drooled on him a little too, but he didn’t mind. Steve took a seat in the rocking chair next to the window and waited.
They chatted for a little while. The conversation was one sided, but that didn’t deter him. No doubt there would be a day when she would talk his ear off. He would be content to listen when that time came.
That night, he told her about only happy things. Growing up with his best friend, her Uncle Bucky. How brave and strong her mother is. He was just moving onto how noble Thor was when Sara’s bird started up. The song was a little quiet in his room, so he opened the window a crack. A cool breeze eased into the room and washed over them. He draped a blanket over her back just to be on the safe side. Then they sat in silence together and listened. She was back asleep as his song ended. Her breath heavy on him. Slowly, he stood and placed her back in her crib without her stirring. Steve gave himself a pat on the back and moved to close the window. Making sure the latch was secure, he adjusted the curtain also. Then turned to tucked her in one last time and made his way back to bed.
When he sank back into the pillows, Peggy rolled over and flung an arm across his chest. “How was the morning concert?”
“Solo act, but the company was great.” He murmured into her hair and felt her smile at his comment. His body was tired, but his brain skittered to a halt before starting to race.
“I can hear you thinking,” Peggy smirked.
“Yeah,” he trailed off. She lifted her head from his chest and raised an eyebrow at him.
“What we need is a full choir,” he thought aloud. Then smirked at his wife before kissing her between her eyebrows.
_____
A few hours later, he was out of the house and headed to the hardware store. Peggy asked what he was up to and he didn’t have much of an explanation for her, just that she would see soon enough. The owner, Mr. Bradley, was helpful as always.
“What color are you thinking, Steve?” He was starting to become a regular in the hardware store and as a result was on a first name basis with Mr. Bradley-George- Steve reminded himself.
He considered the man’s question. “Well, it’s going to be for her. I guess she should pick the color.”
Mr. Bradley considered his comment with a curious look. “Yeah, I know, she doesn’t talk yet. But she’ll know what she wants. She’s a very decisive baby.” They both chuckled at that.
“I think you’re all set then. Bring her around once she decides on a color.” Steve followed the owner up to the register and pays him.
“Don’t forget this!” He called Steve back to the register and handed him a bag. “Kind of defeats the purpose without it.” The man isn’t wrong, Steve thought.
When he pulled his truck into the driveway, Peggy stepped out onto the porch to greet him with Sara on her hip. Steve made a detour to deliver a kiss to his wife and daughter and then moved around the side of the house to get his toolbox. He vaguely heard Peggy ask their daughter if she knew what he was up to.
“It’s a surprise!” He called over his shoulder. A quick trip to the garage produced a handsaw and his toolbox. “But I am going to need some help picking a color when it’s done.”
After hauling all the materials to the side of the house, he pulled on a pair of thick gloves and got to work. It was a nice morning to be outside, and Steve found the task relaxing. The air was warm but not too warm and a slight breeze kept him comfortable. Halfway through, he turned to find his wife watching him work. A slight smirk graced her lips as her eyes take in the scene before her. She handed him the glass of lemonade in her hand. Sliding off a glove, he offered up a thank you before taking a drink. Maybe it was warmer than he thought.
“Almost done?”
“Just need to decide where to put it,” he nodded and noticed Sara in the grass crawling towards him. Without thinking, he placed the saw on the windowsill and out of her reach. Steve crouched down in front of her as she makes her way over. Wiping his sweaty hand on his jeans, he reached out to tickle the back of her neck and earns a giggle for his efforts. “What do you think, huh? How close do you want it to your window?” She waved a sticky, grass covered hand in his face and giggled again.
Peggy joined the two and carefully pulled Steve’s creation upright. It was a birdfeeder. Torn between exasperation and adoration, she smiled at what Steve built for their daughter. “A full choir, huh?”
“Yeah,” he simply said. He only had eyes for their daughter, who had pulled herself to her feet. And now Peggy can’t tear her eyes away either. They both held their breath. She’d been trying to walk for days now.
Her chubby legs wobbled for a second before her knees buckled. She fell into Steve’s waiting arms with a happy squeal. This was quickly becoming her new favorite game. Her daddy was the best catcher!
With the moment broken, Peggy turned her attention back to the birdfeeder. It was basic in design but would do the trick and make Sara happy. Although, it didn’t take much to make the baby smile. At that moment, she was trying to drink from Steve’s glass while he held it out of her reach. Everything was a fun game for Sara. “How about here?” She suggested. Steve handed Sara off and got started hammering it into place.
“There’s a bag of bird seed in the back of the truck. Will you get it for me?”
A few seconds later, she was back with the bag Steve had almost forgotten at the hardware store. She filled the feeder carefully and then steped back to admire her husband’s handiwork. “That’ll do, Captain.” When he tried to playfully pull her into an embrace, she gracefully evaded him and heads back to the porch. “Do be sure to clean up, dear.” She called over her shoulder.
“I think she’s trying to tell me something,” Steve pondered to the baby scooting around in the grass. “You don’t mind that I’m a little sweaty, do you?”
Sara was too busy getting into his toolbox to answer him. She handed him a hammer instead.
“Well thank you ma’am.”
The next morning, Steve’s plan came to fruition, and he and Sara are greeted by a symphony of chirps and bird song. And even though his daughter can’t talk yet, he knew she was happy. Her little legs pumped and arms flapped until he got as close to the window as he could. She let out a shriek that’s likely to wake up Peggy if the birds hadn’t already. Her blue orbs found his and Steve felt himself melt a little more. If Bucky and Sam could see him now, he’d never have heard the end of it. Captain America. Leader of the Howling Commandos. War Hero. Avenger. Taken down by a pair of baby blues.
A creak behind them had Steve turning just in time to see the annoyance fall off Peggy’s face. She saw it too. The pure happiness in Sara’s eyes. If possible, her eyes got even bigger because now Mama was here! And all was right in the world.
She almost wiggled right out of Steve’s arms to get to Peggy, who quickly stepped up to take her. She patted Peggy’s arm in excitement until Peggy said, “Yes, darling, I see!” Then turned her attention back to the birdfeeder for the show.
“The neighbors are going to love us for this.” Peggy smirked at Steve.
“Don’t care,” Steve decided quickly. The words were out of his mouth before he even decided that’s how he feels. “As long as she’s happy and you’re happy. I just don’t care.” He only had eyes for his girls. His very tired wife, who was leaning into his side to keep herself upright. His ecstatic daughter, who was slowly starting to doze off. Both ladies blinked up at him and his statement. With her free hand, Peggy cupped his jaw and pulled him into a soft kiss.
“Alright, Birdie, it’s time to go back to sleep,” he told Sara when they break off the kiss.
“Birdie?” Peggy asked.
Steve gently took the baby from her arms, lay her back in the crib, and tucked her in with a blanket.
“Yeah, my little Birdie.”
The birds continued their early morning serenade and sang all three of them back to sleep that morning and many, many future mornings. Sara started to sleep later, and they slowly adjusted to living arrangements again.
Peggy was right about the neighbors and Steve maintained his earlier claim. If his girls were happy, nothing else really mattered. The birdfeeder was there to stay, and The Smiths would just have to get used to the early morning concerts.
The nickname stuck too. And from that morning forward, Sara was also known as Birdie. But her dad was the only person allowed to use it. It was just for them.