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I Feel Used

Summary:

George is finally living with Dream and Sapnap, and all seems to be going "well". He thinks he's managing to hide his feelings pretty well- from Dream, at least. He's told Sapnap about his feelings towards Dream, and Sapnap has to constantly tell him not to tell Dream. But of course, George can't keep the secret for long. Will his suffering ever end?

Notes:

First written early 2023
Rewritten & republished on Wattpad 18/8/2024
Transferred to AO3 9/3/2026

I'm not a DNF enjoyer personally, I don't really care for them anymore, but I might know someone who does ;)

Work Text:

George and Sapnap sat on the couch, playing a friendly game of chess. George thought he'd won, but he was about to be proven wrong.

"Checkmate." Sapnap announced triumphantly, crossing his arms with a smile upon his face. George sighed, grabbing  the box to put away the game.

"Whatcha guys up to?" Dream asked, walking into the room.
"I beat George at chess," Sapnap boasted, "He's super pissed, you just can't tell."

Dream chuckled, sitting beside George. "There's a better way to pack up the game," He said, grabbing a bishop and putting it neatly into the box, "If you randomly shove them in, the box won't close." Dream explained to George, who appeared to be turning pink.

Sapnap walked away from the couch, probably on his way to get a celebratory soda can. George blinked, and when his eyes opened, the chess box was neatly closed, pieces no longer on the table. "See?" Dream smirked, leaning back onto the couch.

George nodded, leaning backwards to copy how Dream was sitting. He wanted to appear calm and happy, like all people should.

'I should tell him how I feel. Maybe he'll like me back? He keeps showing off and helping me, isn't that the kind of thing men do to attract people? Maybe- no. He's Dream. He doesn't like me as anything more than a friend.' George thought, staring at the blank wall in front of him.

"I'm gonna go get some pizza, any special requests?" Dream suddenly asked, grabbing his car keys and making them clink noisily in his hand. George thought for a moment. "Pepperoni?" He suggested warily, knowing Sapnap would suggest the same. "Sounds good," Dream nodded, got up, walked to the front door, and left the house. George listened for the faint sound of Dream's car starting up and slowly fading away.

"Will I ever get to kiss him?" George wondered aloud, exhaling sadly.

"I suggest you never try that," Sapnap poked his head around the corner, "Trust me with this one."

 

---

 

George heard the sound of a parking car, and soon after, he saw Dream walk through the front door. In one hand, Dream held two pizza boxes. In the other; a beautiful, hand-picked flower. George did not understand why Dream had a flower in his hand- it was just one; not wrapped in plastic, not wrapped with ribbon, not tied to another flower- just one singular flower.

"Hey Sapnap, would you mind getting a couple plates for the pizzas?" Dream asked, handing him the two boxes of pizza- which George hoped were pepperoni. Sapnap nodded and took the pizza boxes into the kitchen without saying a word.

"Hello George," Dream spoke nonchalantly, suddenly standing very close to George. "Hi Dream." George replied, smiling to the best of his ability. The taller man reeked of cologne, and... cigarettes? 

"You look good- better than usual. Did you do anything different?" Dream asked, the flower still in his hand. If that flower went any longer without water, it would probably wilt away. George longed to take the flower and put it into a cup or a vase or a jug of some sort, to keep it living, but he did not. Realizing Dream had asked him a question, he came up with a sloppy response, "I mean, I washed my hair earlier..." George found himself flustered by Dream's compliment- it was a compliment, right?

"You should do that more often, it makes you look cuter," Dream complimented George again, then brought his hand- still holding in to the flower- in front George's face. "I got a flower for you," He smiled, handing George the flower. Looking closely at it, George came to the conclusion that it was a sunflower. "Is it green?" George asked, checking to make sure he knew what color the pretty flower was.

"Sure, you could say that," Dream answered with a chuckle as he walked into the kitchen, "A green sunflower." 
Dream's voice trickled like honey through George's mind, laced with sweetness and lust. It was as if no word that ever came out of Dream's mouth could sound bad. Ever.

"George, snap out of it! Come eat your goddamn pepperoni pizza!" Sapnap called from the kitchen, and George realized he'd been aimlessly standing in the doorway for a whole minute. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," George mumbled as he walked into the kitchen, where Dream and Sapnap had already begun eating the pizza. They'd somehow already finished a whole box. "You guys were hungry," George observed, taking two slices of pepperoni pizza from the remaining box.

"Do you like it?" Dream asked, noticing George's dull expression. "Yeah, it's really good actually." George answered, finishing the second slice in two bites. He got up to put more on his plate, but Sapnap stopped him. "You've been eating snacks all day, aren't you full yet? You could get overweight, or even worse- you could get really sick!" Sapnap warned, clearly concerned for his friend.
"Yeah, you've had a lot of food lately. You sure you're alright?" Dream asked, his charming voice washed with worry.

"I'm fine, guys," George grabbed a third slice of pizza, "Just hungry." He was lying. He wasn't hungry. He felt as if he were eating for the pleasure it gave him. Sure, he felt hungry, but it wasn't the feeling in his stomach. He finished the pizza slice pretty quickly, getting up as soon as he was done.

"Damn George, you're gonna end up choking on your food if you keep eating it that fast!" Sapnap called with a frown. He was growing more and more worried for his friend every day; he truly cared about George, and seeing him become seriously sick definitely wasn't what he wanted.

George sat on the couch, leaning deep into the couch's soft cushions. He flipped through the TV channels, looking for something interesting to watch. He eventually settled on watching the news, he knew he'd end up falling asleep anyway.

A few channels and cartoons later, Dream walked into the living room to find George fast asleep- a pillow between his arms and the TV's light flashing against his pale skin. Dream sat down carefully beside him, crossing his legs slightly.

"You look so little and cute, sleeping on the couch like that." Dream muttered quietly, looking at George. George moved a bit, his head now on Dream's lap. He smirked at this. "Either you're a really clumsy sleeper, or a stupid man who think's he's sly," he chuckled, running his hand through George's hair as he turned his head to watch the news.

 

--

 

George awoke from his deep abrupt slumber, yawning lazily. He did a double-take as he opened his eyes to find himself in Dream's lap. "Morning...?" George greeted the taller man- surprise and confusion hitting him with a double whammy.

"You fell asleep on my lap." Dream lied, smiling.

"No I didn't," George racked his brain to recall how he'd fallen asleep.

"Yeah. You did."

"You weren't here when I fell asleep."

"Maybe I was invisible, baby," Dream's smile turned to a grin.

"Clay, what the fuck?" George had completely lost it, his drowsy half-lidded eyes opening wide in an instant. He was extremely flustered, his face fully swallowed by pink.

"You heard me, bitch."

George sat up from Dream's lap, confused and afraid of what had just happened. Did Dream just say-

"Baby?" Dream interrupted innocently, as if he were reading George's mind. 

"Why are you calling me that?" George asked carefully, blushing from head to toe. Dream looked George in the eyes, smiling fakely. "You like it, don't you George?" The blonde asked, though he already knew the answer. Too stunned to speak, George shifted his eyes around the room, searching for Sapnap. He was nowhere to be found.

"I said, you like it, don't you Georgie?" Dream repeated himself, the smug smile still plastered on his face. "Clay, you're being weird as fuck," George said in a rather serious voice, trembling, "Cut it out."
The truth was, George did like Dream flirting with him, it just didn't seem right- too fast, perhaps. "Are you on drugs or alcohol or something?" George asked, becoming worried for his friend. Dream let out a short laugh. "I'm just fine, can't you see?" Dream held out his hands, as if asking for a hug.

George didn't know what to do, so he worriedly gave into the hug. At that moment, Sapnap walked into the room. Just a minute too late. "What are you two doing?" Sapnap asked, staring at his roommates. "Dream wanted a hug," George said, he wasn't sure what else to say. Did this mean Dream liked him back?

"You can stop hugging me, you know." George suggested- his arms were tired. Luckily for George, Dream let go immediately.
"I love you, George," Dream said, smiling.
"I love you too, Clay," George said awkwardly. He knew he'd meant what he'd said, but it felt strange.

"You guys know I'm still here, right?" Sapnap, who George just noticed had been recording them cuddling for a whole minute, questioned. "Yeah I know," Dream said simply, leaving George even more confused. Despite his better judgment, he shrugged it off and got up to get a snack. "GEORGE NO, THAT'S TOO MUCH FOOD FOR ONE DAY!" Sapnap called, chasing George into the kitchen quickly.

"I'm fine, Sapnap, it's just a snack." George said, casually opening a large bag of potato chips. The kind that's labeled "Family Value!" or something like that. "No," Sapnap yanked the bag of chips out of George's hand, "You've had enough food today- more food than Dream and I have had combined!" 

"I'm fine," George grumbled, taking the chips back and walking off to his bedroom. Maybe there he could get some peace.

--

George's room was a small space, just perfect for him. He had a bookshelf covered in Lego, a cardboard cut-out of Dream's blob, his desk, and a large bed- which was all the furniture he needed in one room. Hell, that'd probably be enough for a whole house to himself. He sank himself deeper into his bed, which's mattress had grown dented due to George only sleeping dead in the middle of it. He clung tightly to one of his many pillows, wondering why God had chosen him to exist, and why his life had to be so much more confusing than everyone else's seemed to be. He lay silently for what was possibly hours- tears pooling in his eyes, but never falling. It stung.

"George, are you alright?" Dream invited himself into George's room, snapping George out of his thoughts. "Yeah," George lied, "I think so."

"Is something wrong?" Dream asked, sitting down on George's bed, which creaked slightly under the added weight. Hey, maybe Dream really did like him back. "Why do you guys always think I'm eating too much, and why do you care? Why does it matter, even?" George mumbled, tears starting to pour.

"George, you're eating way too much food for a guy your age and size, we just want to make sure you don't get sick." Dream answered, his voice full of compassion- but perhaps there was another emotion hidden underneath it somewhere. "Maybe you should get on a diet? Or a certain amount of food you can eat per day?" Dream suggested, his face lighting up at his own ideas. George nodded sadly, resting his head on Dream's shoulder. At least Dream was here for now, he thought, drifting off to sleep once again.

--

"Hey Georgie, can you come help me with something?" Dream called from the kitchen. George sighed, this was the 14th time Clay had asked him for help.
And Clay never actually needed the help, it'd just be stupid things like holding his phone while he grabbed something from his closet, or carrying something down the stairs for him. It was tiring, but George didn't want to seem like a bad friend- or whatever he was- so he always agreed to "help" Clay.

"Hey George!" Clay greeted, smiling. George smiled back. He loved his smile more than anyone else's.
"I need you to go to the bakery and get a loaf of bread, we ran out and I kinda want a sandwich."

Although he had better things to do, George rolled his eyes and agreed. 
"Sure, I'll get you a loaf of bread," The brit answered, hesitation tugging at his voice as he grabbed his car keys and walked over to the front door. "I guess this is what I'm doing right now." He muttered, not thinking anyone could hear him. He was wrong. 

"What's wrong?" Sapnap appeared out of nowhere, scaring the hell out of George. "Nothing," George grumbled, his voice still low, "It's just that Clay keeps asking me to do things for him, and they're all things he could easily do himself!" He didn't want Clay to think he was mad at him.

"What's he want you to do now?" Sapnap asked, concern in his voice. "He wants me to buy a loaf of bread so he can have a sandwich," George sighed, "Just one loaf of bread!"

"Here, I'll go get the bread. I need more soda anyways," Sapnap offered, grabbing the keys from George's hands and strolling through the front door, "And George, please don't let yourself become Dream's slave!" He called, leaving the house.

--

"Dream's slave?" George repeated, so quietly that not even Patches could hear. It'd been two days since Sapnap had given George the thought, which haunted him every time he spoke to Dream.

"Hey George, can you go get me a bag of chips? Y'know, the barbeque ones?" Dream suddenly asked, bringing George back to the present. "Sure," George said mindlessly, getting up and heading towards the kitchen.

"Oh, hey Sapnap, why are you in here?" George asked, surprised to see Sapnap standing around in the kitchen. "I could ask you the same thing," Sapnap responded.

"Dream wanted some crisps- chips, I mean." George answered honestly. Sapnap sighed, "Stop letting Clay boss you around! Just because he's your crush or your boyfriend or whatever the fuck- that doesn't mean you have to be his slave!" Sapnap said angrily, trying hard not to yell. Luckily, Dream didn't hear him.

"Yeah, but he doesn't listen whenever I tell him I don't want to do everything for him. He just threatens to leave me if I don't, and sometimes he just calls me a bitch." George replied bitterly.

Sapnap patted George's back, trying to figure out what to say. "Why don't you grab Dream the BBQ chips, and I'll make some cupcakes for us- Dream won't have to know," Sapnap suggested after a moment, bringing a smile to George's face.

"Yeah, sure!" George said, grabbing the barbeque chips and leaving the kitchen.

--

 

"I want a hug, George, can you hug me?" Dream asked suddenly, setting the- now empty- bag of chips on the floor beside the couch. "But we're both sitting on the couch-" George was cut off by Dream, "Then put your head on my lap, Georgie."

And so George did, light red blush covering his face. He giggled as he let Dream mess with his hair.

"Hey George can you come here for a sec-" Sapnap walked into the living room, but his question was cut off by a new question; "What the actual FUCK is going on?"

"We're cuddling," Dream answered, blushing a bit. It was a little embarrassing, George and Dream weren't even dating- yet there they were, cuddling like boyfriends would.

"Are you two dating now, or did I miss something?" Sapnap asked, obviously confused. George quickly got off Dream's lap, and both of them shouted "No!"

--

"These cupcakes are pretty good!" George exclaimed quietly, shoving a second cupcake into his mouth. "Don't eat too much, m'kay?" Sapnap warned, biting into his second cupcake. There were fourteen left, which is a weird number but no one questioned it.

"Should we give some to BadBoyHalo?" George asked, remembering that he had an obscure obsession with muffins. Cupcakes were basically muffins, obviously. Sapnap nodded, still chewing his cupcake. "Give him five and tell him to share 'em with his boyfriend," Sapnap winked. George knew who Sapnap meant. "I'm sure Skeppy will appreciate them too," George played along with Sapnap's joke, holding back laughter.

--

George sat on his bed, holding his phone up to his ear.

"Hey Bad, do you want some cupcakes?" George asked, eyeing the small box of cupcakes he'd boxed up.

"Cupcakes? I like cupcakes! If you're really being serious, then sure, send them to my address!" Bad answered, his voice a bit odd through the call.

"Of course I'm serious! I've got five in a box right here, Sapnap made them!"

"Sapnap makes cupcakes? Cool!" Bad sounded very enthused at the thought of Sapnap making cupcakes.

"Make sure to share them with Skeppy, we all know you two are already together. You're not hiding it very well. Good luck with your 'meet up,' I'll see you later Bad!" George hung up, laughing to himself a little once he was sure the call was over.

"I wonder if Clay and I could ever have whatever Zak and Darryl have..."

As George put a few things into his duffel bag, he heard his bedroom door creak open. Dream.

"Oh, hi Dream!" George said happily, not bothering to turn his head towards Dream. 

"Whatcha doing?" Dream asked, sitting on George's bed.

"Just packing a few snacks and stuff, I've got to go and drop something off at Bad's." George answered, shoving a phone charger into his duffel bag. Dream raised his eyebrows, "You're hanging out with Darryl instead of me? What, are you gay with him or something? I don't like that for you," Dream sounded angry, but he wasn't yelling.

"I won't be gone too long, just a few hours. I just have to drop this off at his house- I probably wont even have to go inside his house anyway." George said, turning around to face Dream.

"Fine, but don't text me or anything while you're gone. You're such a bad friend," Dream huffed, leaving George's room. "I'm not a bad friend!" George called out, zipping up his duffel bag and walking towards the stairs. George spotted Sapnap on his way down the stairs, and glanced at him with a look of pure distress.

"Tell Bad I said hi!" Sapnap said happily, but the look on his face was the same as George's.

--

As George parked next to Bad's house, he grabbed the box of cupcakes and set it on his lap. He'd been driving for at least an hour, he needed a break. Grabbing the cupcakes in one hand, he locked his car with the other. George walked up to Bad's front door slowly, as if he finally felt like he could be calm- now that Clay wasn't there. He sighed, then pressed his index finger to Bad's doorbell. Not even seconds later, the door swung wide open.

"George!" Bad exclaimed, smiling, "It's good to see you!"

George smiled, "It's good to see you too, Darryl!" He spoke with more enthusiasm now, as if when he spoke earlier he'd felt drained.

"Come inside, I'm sure you've been driving for a long time," Bad offered, gesturing to his sofa, which was visible from the front door. George thought about Bad's offer and decided it might be nice to have a chat with Bad for once in a while. "Sure, I might as well stay a while, if that's okay," George answered, handing Bad the box of cupcakes. Bad took them happily, and replied with, "Of course it's okay, you're my friend! Oh, and thank you so much for the cupcakes! They're almost like muffins!"

What did he mean, 'Of course it's okay, you're my friend'? Are friends supposed to be nice like this? Was Dream George's friend?

--

George opened the front door and walked into the Dream Team house, jolting backwards at a sudden yell from Dream. "Why were you with Darryl for five hours!?" He shouted loudly, intense anger visible on his face.

"I wasn't with him for 5 whole hours, the driving to and from his house was the longest bit!" George defended himself shakily, still slightly afraid of Dream's yelling.

"Oh, Okay. So anyways- does Zak really not live with Darryl, or have they been lying to us all?" Dream asked, his voice no longer angry. George thought for a moment. 'Bad told me not to tell anyone, but if I don't answer Dream I'll get slapped in the face...'

"Don't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you," George said calmly, "When I was at Bad's, he told me Skeppy was asleep upstairs- and that if I'd turned on the TV I would have woken him up."

"That's big news! So they're dating? Orrr?" Dream asked, dragging out the 'r' in his 'or'. He sounded as if he were gossiping like a 6th-grade girl who'd just found out their 'ex' was dating the class clown.

"Shush!" George shushed Dream, "It's a secret!"

Just then, Sapnap walked into the room, "What's a secret?"

"Why must nothing ever go the way it's supposed to?"

--

After spilling Bad and Skeppy's secret, all George wanted to do was rot and die. So he did the closest thing to such: laying in bed until someone interferes.

"Why am I falling for Clay if all he's doing is putting me through pain?" George thought to himself, burying his head into his pillow.

"Even if he liked me back, he'd be a horrible partner..."

George's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden 'ping' from his phone, which was resting beside him on his bed. George grumbled as he grabbed his phone to see what had interrupted his moping. As he tapped the screen, he saw the notification; a new upload from a psychology channel he'd subscribed to a while back. It was titled: "Ten Signs You're Being Manipulated Without Realizing"

"What's this?" George wondered as he clicked on the video. Little did he know; he'd immediately regret learning what he'd learn from it...

The factors all lined up. Every little thing that stupid video said was something that Dream had done fo George. Finally knowing the truth about Dream, he was still unsure of what to do. No matter how hard he tried to let go, George couldn't get rid of his feelings for his manipulative crush. The days seemed to grow longer and louder the more he had to put up with Clay's demands and punishment. 

--

George sighed as he finished writing out a note, putting the pencil down sadly. He knew what he was about to do was bad, but there was truly no other way to wriggle out of Clay's grasp. No other way to escape his problems. He had truly gotten himself caught in a web.

"My dearest friends," The note read, "I'm sorry I cant do this anymore. I can't. Under my bed you'll find my wallet and phone, the passcode to it is DNF1234. I wish you all the best, you're free to do whatever you want with my belongings. Do whatever you want with my body. I don't care. Just let me die. Don't cry over me when I'm gone. Goodbye."

George left his shitty excuse for a suicide note on his desk, then chucked his phone underneath his bed. He turned around to look at his door one more time. "This is it," He exhaled, opening the door to his balcony. Using the safety rails in the complete wrong way, he climbed over them- hanging on tightly to the top as his legs dangled multiple feet in the air. George sighed; there was no turning back now. He couldn't pull himself back up even if he wanted to.

So he let go.

--

"George, come downstairs for lunch! I made cake for dessert!" Sapnap called loudly, walking up the stairs. He'd been shouting at George for half an hour already, what could be taking him so long? "That's it, I'm coming inside!" Sapnap yelled, opening George's bedroom door aggressively. But, much to Sapnap's surprise, no one was there.

"George?" Sapnap looked around the empty bedroom, then he noticed the open balcony window. "You chilling outside, George?" Sapnap asked, walking over to George's balcony. He saw no one. "Okay, seriously, I don't have time to play hide and seek. Where are you?" Sapnap asked grumpily. Maybe he went without anyone knowing?

He looked down from the balcony to see if a car was missing, only to find none other than George laying limp on the pavement outside.

"Oh fuck, no," Sapnap whispered under his breath, he probably couldn't talk much louder if he tried. Sapnap ran down the stairs and shook Dream's shoulders aggressively, startling the man. "What's wrong, and where's George?" Dream asked, brushing his shoulder with his hand.

"George is DEAD, Clay. Get outside NOW, and call the hospital while you're at it." Sapnap spoke with fear in his voice, which Dream wasn't used to. "What!?" He took a moment to process what Sapnap told him, "He can't be dead, where is he?" Dream was trying not to panic, grabbing his phone and dialling 911 instantly.

"He jumped off of his balcony."