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Being back in NO. 6 felt wrong.
When he was on the road, the air didn’t suffocate him the same way it did in the city proper. He could feel the air in his lungs poisoning his body.
He felt…heavy.
While he knew he wasn’t strong enough to leave Shion a second time, he missed the freedom he felt with the city far behind him.
Nezumi could feel himself begin to spiral, a wave of nausea hit him hard. He quickly got up from the bed, ignoring Shion’s muffled words of protest, making it to the bathroom and promptly throwing up into the waste bin.
He hadn't heard Shion get up, but he didn't jump when Shion's cold hand began rubbing circles into his back.
Nezumi groaned, “...feel awful.”
“I can see that,” Shion huffed a laugh behind him, keeping his hands steady on Nezumi’s back.
The two sat in silence for a few minutes. He could hear Shion fretting with something but opted to ignore it, in favor of focusing on not throwing up a second time. The nausea came in waves, Nezumi was sure he was shaking but had no energy to worry about how weak that must have made him seem.
He briefly registered Shion’s hand on his forehead, Shion's soft ‘oh’ was enough to tell him that he must have been running some sort of fever.
“I think we need to get you some medicine.”
Nezumi tamped down the dread in his stomach, he shook his head, before pulling the bin close to him and throwing up a second time.
He ignored Shion, keeping his eyes closed tightly and willing himself to feel better.
“I know you'd rather wait it out,” Shion's voice was soft. Nezumi felt awful.
He knew Shion cared for him, the idea that Shion would ever put him in harm's way was laughable. Shion had proved a thousand times over that he would never let anything hurt him; but here he was, sitting on the bathroom floor, trembling like a small scared child.
“I can find someone to come to the house,” Shion paused, "I'll call Inukashi too, we can both be with you.”
Nezumi stayed quiet, willing a miracle to happen and heal him instantly.
He didn't know if he was angry with himself more for being weak or for causing Shion this amount of anguish. He wanted to scream and yell and fight. At least that would be something that could be resolved. Shion could fight back, he could calm the storm that Nezumi often felt he needed to fight alone.
Instead he sat on the bathroom floor, a nauseous coward.
He could see the sad look on Shion’s face in his mind's eye. One that made him falter often in their daily lives. But between the nausea, and the fear welling up inside of him, Nezumi snapped.
“You know what they did to me.”
The words came out of nowhere. The already uncomfortable atmosphere quickly changed into tense silence. Without waiting for a reply Nezumi continued, ignoring any rational thought that his brain could offer.
“You’ve always been good at ignoring what doesn't benefit you.”
Shion exhaled through his nose, letting the rebuttals die on his tongue. Nezumi wobbled forward, leaning his head on the sink cabinet to stop himself from falling fully. He knew he was making everything worse. He hugged the waste bin tight to his chest, jumping when he felt Shion’s hand touch his shoulder.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Nezumi–”
“I don't need pity.”
Shion stands up, taking a step back from Nezumi on the floor. “Im…going to call Inukashi.”
Nezumi huffed before unceremoniously throwing up a third time. He heard Shion leave the room. Bits of his conversation with Inukashi floating into the bathroom.
No, it's fine.
Can you come over while I go out?
He’s sick, I know he didn't mean it.
Thanks Inukashi.
Shion stepped back towards the bathroom, staying in the doorway to give Nezumi his space.
“Inukashi is on their way over now,” Shion sighed. “I’ll see if I can find someone to come to the house.”
Nezumi stayed quiet, keeping his eyes closed and his mouth shut. Between the nausea and fear he didn't trust himself to open his mouth anymore. He knew he needed to apologize but everything felt like ash on his tongue.
Minutes passed and Shion had stepped away at some point to let Inukashi inside.
“Hes been in the bathroom for an hour,” Shion's voice sounded faraway. “Im going to see if the clinic in town will do a house call.”
“You’re too nice to him when he’s like this.” Inukashi huffed.
“I don’t want to make things worse for him,” Shion's voice was soft “Besides you’re good at keeping him company. Just sit with him, I'll be back as soon as I can.”
“Yeah whatever,” Inukashi turned towards the bathroom, waving a hand at Shion.
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Nezumi ignored the way his heart ached when he heard the door close.
Inukashi stepped into the bathroom, quickly sitting on the floor resting their back against the cabinet doors.
“You’ve always been dramatic, but this seems new for you.”
Inukashi seemed uninterested in talking, their voice toeing the edge of being bored. Nezumi ignored them.
“Shion was upset you’d hate him.” Inukashi paused, letting the silence hang in the air before continuing. “We both know that's not true.”
Nezumi huffed, deciding for once to keep his mouth shut.
“Oh, nothing to say?” Inukashi hummed, “Maybe you're more sick than I thought.”
The two sat in silence, Inukashi typing something on their phone, before setting it back on the floor.
“You’re normally not this much of a coward.”
Nezumi bristled, “Shut up.”
“Oh, he speaks?”
Nezumi swallowed his rebuttal to take a steadying breath, "You're annoying.”
“I’m wounded.” Inukashi huffed a laugh.
Nezumi opened and closed his mouth, his mind hanging on Inukashi’s earlier words. Shion was upset you’d hate him. As if he could ever.
The whole reason he came back to NO. 6 in the first place was because of Shion. Being on the road for two years was freeing. He felt safe and confident, but without Shion he felt the emptiness more than he ever had before. Shion had always been a gravitational force that Nezumi had no way of avoiding.
A new wave of nausea hit Nezumi, but if it was due to illness or disappointment in himself, he was unsure.
“Sometimes I wonder why he likes you so much.” Inukashi huffed a laugh, "You're a child.”
“Coming from you thats—” Nezumi cursed himself mentally, throwing up for the third time. He could feel his skin becoming clammy. He knew he must have looked as terrible as he felt.
Inukashi sighed, muttering under his breath, “Absolutely ridiculous.”
Nezumi listened to Inukashi shuffle around the bathroom, the sound of cabinets being opened and water running was brief. He nearly jumped out of his skin at the cold rag placed on the back of his neck.
“Shit—”
“Stop talking before you throw up again.”
The two sat in silence for a while, Nezumi wasn't sure if he felt better, but the cool rag was keeping him grounded. He could feel himself getting comfortable on the floor, he was getting tired.
“Shion would kill me if you fell asleep in the bathroom.”
Nezumi groaned, “Who cares.”
“It seems like you would care a lot.” Inukashi grabbed the waste bin and placed it back on the floor, before standing up and pulling Nezumi with them.
The walk to the bed took forever, Nezumi's limbs were heavy and uncoordinated. And even though Inukashi was the one who made the call to move from the bathroom they were fully unhelpful in navigating Nezumi anywhere.
Nezumi flopped onto the bed, his body feeling immediately better as it sank into the mattress.
Somewhere Inukashi was talking, but Nezumi was too tired to care.
Yeah the idiot finally got back into bed
Okay, see you in a bit
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Nezumi woke up to a darkened room.
His heartbeat skyrocketed before feeling a cool hand on his shoulder.
“You’re okay, "Shion's voice was soft. “Let me turn on the lights.”
Shion leaned over Nezumi, reaching for the lamp on the night stand. The soft lamp light filled their shared bedroom, easing Nezumi’s frayed nerves.
They weren’t in the facility, they weren't on the run. Nezumi was safe.
Shion was safe.
“Sorry.” Nezumi's voice cut through the silence that hung in the room. He hated how small he sounded. Like he was a child all over again.
Hell he might as well have been a child with how he acted today.
“I don’t think you need to apologize.” Shion’s voice wavered. “I didn’t… I don’t know everything.”
Nezumi brows furrowed, staying silent to give Shion time to continue.
“I can assume, I mean, but–”
“Shion–”
“You don't need to tell me everything, You don't need to talk about it at all if you don't want to.” Shion's words came out quickly, as if he'd lose his nerve if he stopped. “But I care about you.”
Shion turned to face Nezumi, “I would never do anything to betray the trust you've given me, and today when you…You looked like I —”
Nezumi stared hard, watching Shion blink back tears. Even now he was a coward. Afraid to reach out and make things worse.
The silence in the room was heavy, bordering unbearable. Nezumi never struggled with his words as much as he did now, when they mattered. The two sat in silence for a long while, before Shion spoke up again.
“I want you to believe in me.”
Nezumi leaned forward, his hands moving up to cradle Shion’s face.
“I'm sorry.” Nezumi leaned forward and kissed above Shion’s cheek scar.
Shion shook his head lightly, his mouth opened to speak before Nezumi cut him off.
“I’ve always been impressed with how resilient you are.” Nezumi pulled back to look at Shion’s face. His eyes were already red from crying, he looked tired and frustrated. Nezumi knew he was to blame for that.
“You’re so much stronger than I am.”
Shion huffed his disagreement but Nezumi ignored it.
“Shion, I quite literally owe you my life.” Nezumi pulled his hands back, wavering, before placing them in his lap. “When we were kids, you saved me.”
“Nezumi–” Shion stopped, looking down where Nezumi had intertwined their hands together on the blanket.
“I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and I'll be back in the facility, or that I’ll be 12 years old again and on my way to die.” Nezumi's voice was barely a whisper.
“Im scared that I’ll lose you to the Parasite Wasps, or that Elyurias will decide to give up on humans.” Nezumi paused. His hands trembled lightly in Shion’s grip. “Im scared of a future without you in it.”
Nezumi looked back up at Shion, his eyes lingering on the pink scar that Shion had been saddled with. He never hated it, to Nezumi, that scar was proof that Shion was always strong enough to survive.
Shion had complained about it offhandedly once or twice. He hated the stares he still got, even years later.
Shion squeezed Nezumi’s hand tightly, pulling him from his thoughts.
“If you'll let me,” Shion took a deep breath, Nezumi could see him searching for the right words. “I can be strong for you. When you need me to.”
The tears in Nezumi's eyes spilled over, his breath hitched when Shion pulled him into a tight embrace.
Nezumi sniffed loudly, pulling Shion closer, “I’m sorry.”
“I’m not mad though.” Shion huffed a laugh, rubbing circles into Nezumi’s back.
“You should be,” Nezumi paused, “I would be”
“I know, that's why we make a good team.”
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Shion felt terrible.
Even without checking he was sure he had a fever, likely whatever Nezumi had. They hadn’t exactly quarantined through the whole ordeal.
“Oh,” Shion felt Nezumi’s hand on his forehead, “You look awful.”
“I thought you liked me.” Shion laughed and quickly regretted it, a wave of nausea pushed through his body.
“I do.” Nezumi paused, “Do you need me to get anything?”
Shion sighed, “No, I grabbed some stuff from the clinic yesterday for us.”
“You weren’t sick yesterday.” Nezumi’s voice sounded puzzled, “Did you plan on getting sick?”
“Of course not!” Shion rolled over with a great amount of effort. “I just kind of assumed it would happen.”
“Right.” Nezumi nodded, wrapping his arms around Shion’s waist, “I’m sorry you caught this.”
Through everything no matter how hard it was, or how bleak everything seemed he was here. He was content, and warm and happy.
No matter how much the two of them had changed from the boys they used to be, they had found each other again and again. Like the moon and the tides they were drawn to one another.
If Nezumi needed time, Shion would give it to him.
“It’s fine, I'm not worried” Shion closed his eyes, and focused on Nezumi’s arms around him.
“Goodnight your Highness.”