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“im gunna sleep cus u live in my daydreams” feels so real rn
and it’s like not even romantic either????
or i think i don’t even know atp
like it js feels like my bsf calls me her bsf but always prefers this other friend of ours
sorry if this doesn’t make sense
but i know she doesn’t mean to
and ik she texts and calls me a lot probably more than anyone else
and i do too but the thing is most of my friends are really just that.
friends. not best friends. sure i have like another bsf but she has a lotta friends
and idk i feel replaceable bc of that
not that im jealous or don’t like them or only want her for myself
theyre really nice and im glad she has other friends (for her personal reasons some people like her don’t)
i’ve actually never told a lie to her or any of my close friends
no kidding
they wouldn’t believe it though
and apparently people think im like an owl or like rude or something that aren’t mt super close friends
and osmtimes my close friends do think im rude or pushing it or js annoying
and im js joking and i dont mean to b rude or anything but i always end up doing the same thing again and getting them mad @ me
and like sometimes its smth rlly stupid I don’t think is rude like talking positively about a gay person in front of my Christian friends (im fem but ik some gay ppl and theyr rlly nice)
and they’re all like “stop being so controversial” or “I don’t think that” for no reason
?????
um but i think im being dramatic but I kinda need this OUT
about the rude thing I’ll like take a pencil to write my name and immediately give it back or smth from a friend
ans my bsf will go “HEY GIVE THAT BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANT” in a deep joking voice and cover the friend with her body when im trying to talk to her and ik it’s js a joke but it doesn’t feel like one, it feels like she likes her better than me even tho ik its not true and it feels like like she leaves me on read or delivered while im actively talking to her but irl instead of online, and the reason she’s doing it is texting someone else even if im js asking a simple quesyion
n i like both of them but im a naturally loud person and kinda yell a lot and the friend will go “im leaving if u do that we’re gunna get in trouble” even tho we’re not
and she’ll leave and then immediately after that my bsf will leave too?????
n they dunno but I mean almost every time it makes me cry and I don’t want to tell them anyways but like it still hurts even if they dunno how much I hate being alone even if it’s my fault
and that friend (not my bsf) is very christian and doesn’t support lgbtq+
did I mention that friend is also the twin to my other bsf i mentioned earlier? (not th4 one ive been talking abt I mean the one I mentioned at the start) she’s also the same.
ans i think i might be pan and idek yet but if i do figure it out and I AM pan then.. like i csnt tell my bsf
ik she still respects but she clearly doesn’t understand it snd I dont wanna explain it nor do ik how in a way that wouldn’t make me look bad to a christian
about the start
the quote?
it basically means all of my friends
so
have a good day and pls eat if u haven’t.. and stay hydrated <3