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Hayden Pike was not the most emotionally intelligent person.
He knew this. But he also knew that his older sister had put in a lot of work into fixing that when Hayden started coming home from long weekends with his travel team spouting bullshit she did not appreciate.
Katie didn’t, like, raise Hayden. He’s glad they didn’t have that kind of relationship. But she was eleven years older than him, so their relationship was still different from stereotypical siblings. When she had moved back home while completing her master’s degree, step two in becoming a medical researcher, she also took up a fair amount of slack when Hayden started traveling for games and practices.
They spent a fair amount of time in vehicles together, just talking or listening to music, sometimes books-on-CD.
And Katie had worked on making sure her baby brother did not grow up to be a douchebag. And when the other kids were mean to him, because he didn’t always laugh at their jokes, not when he knew they were being mean, she would talk about all the gross brain viruses that had already infected those losers, and how Hayden was making sure he didn’t get that same brain grossness all over him, no matter how stupid and mean those other kids were.
(Hayden still wasn’t always the best at just, like, knowing the other person was trying to say something fucked up. But he tried, and Hayden knew enough other hockey players who grew up pretty much just like him to know how many didn’t put in any fucking effort to be a good person.)
Katie also taught Hayden how to be a good listener.
“Hayd, bub, you gotta pretend sometimes to be a different person.”
“What?”
“Yea, like, when you hear someone talking about how they feel, pretend you’re them, feeling the same way, going through the same thing. Or, at least, try to think about a time you felt that way, or felt something similar.”
That was a lot easier for Hayden. He loved listening. He took pride in being a good listener. He’s pretty sure that’s how he got Jackie to fall in love with him.
Hayden knows he becomes friends with Hollander because Hayden is persistent. But they become best friends because they’re both pretty good listeners.
Hayden thinks he and Shane take slightly different approaches on ‘active listening’ as Jackie calls it, but it is nice to ramble about all of his problems, then let Shane basically restate Hayden’s problems back to him in a nice, condensed, practically bulleted list that Hayden can more easily manage than the mess going on in his own head.
And when Shane shares with Hayden, Hayden uses phrases like “tso, did that feel like-” and “oh, so you feel-”, a lot.
Shane has gotten better over time at describing how he feels, but he still focuses a lot on physical sensations. Hayden has gotten better too over the years, at organizing his own head, but he thinks that is just as much because he has kids. He just has to process more quickly, and Shane’s ‘let’s make this mess in your head into a list’ thing has gotten a lot of use at 4 a.m. when Hayden takes the early shift with babies before practice so Jackie can actually get some fucking sleep.
Shane Hollander starts dating Rose Landry, and Hayden strategically plans a room service lunch on the road to check-in.
They settled their food on the small hotel table, then Hayden opened the conversation.
“Okay, so, walk me through it; meeting Rose.”
Shane blinks a few times then nods once. Yes, go Hayden, he knew this was the best way to get Shane to talk.
His best friend has been, weird, recently. Even before he started dating a movie star. Hayden had tried to gently ask what was going on before, but it hadn’t worked, and as the season was getting more intense, and another child in Hayden’s house started teething, Hayden knew he had to get the conversation going now. He’d decided to go with the old reliable ‘talk it out like game tape’ method.
“Yeah, ah, so, I was excited, before I got to the bar. I put on one of the nicer sprays from a sponsor that I don’t hate. J.J. told me the actors in X-Squad were there, including Rose, and I like her movies, so…”
Hayden let himself focus on his weird, too-big burrito wrap, knowing Shane wasn’t big on eye contact during these conversations, but he was nodding along.
When was the last time Hayden knew he was going to meet someone he admired, like, not just on the ice while playing? Huh, probably when he met Shane. Hayden remembers how excited and nervous he was, to become teammates with The Shane Hollander.
“You wanted to make a good impression.”
Shane wasn’t looking at Hayden but he nodded, then started assembling his own bite of food, quinoa pieces or whatever they’re called rolling away from his fork.
“And then, I got a bit overwhelmed, because the bar was just, so loud, right? Like, more than it probably usually is?”
Oh yea, Hayden could relate. That first practice with all the Montreal starters, and knowing Hollander was there too, all the guys fighting for a permanent roster were extra on, somehow, like they could feel the mourning tension.
“So I went to cool off, I guess, and I sat at her booth.”
“Wow, fuck, that’s so crazy!”
“Right?”
“How did that go, when you realized what had happened?”
Shane huffed out a small laugh.
“She offered me some of her fries, and it was just, surreal.”
Hayden nodded. He remembered sitting next to The Shane Hollander, fumbling around his bag for his tape, then, The Shane Hollander offered to let Hayden use his. Hayden had eventually switched, after realizing Shane was really particular about his tape, and he had a deal with the equipment guys to make sure at least one extra roll was always in both their lockers.
“How was talking to her?”
Shane looked up over Hayden’s head, like he was remembering. Hayden took a (probably too big) bite of his burrito.
“It was, easy, like surprisingly easy. And she’s you know, really cool, way cooler than me. But, we just, clicked.”
Shane had a little smile on his face when he bent down to fight the grains back onto his silverware.
Hayden could relate. He’d expected Shane to be like every other super talented player Hayden had ever met at camps or on Junior teams, but he was easy. Well, sure, it was hard to talk to Shane in some ways. But he wasn’t one to judge, not in a mean way, and he’d been like that from the start.
It was easy for them to talk, relaxing, like they just….clicked.
Somehow, Hayden got through the rest of the conversation, sadly, not being the kind of listener that would make Katie proud.
But he was having a bit of a mental emergency here.
Did he have a crush on Shane? Like, not now, Hayden didn’t think so. Could you even have a crush that wasn’t like, on a famous person if you were in love? I mean, Shane was famous, but not like, to Hayden.
To Hayden, Shane was a nice, weird, funny, sometimes bitchy, quiet, dependable guy who cared about Hayden and his family, someone Hayden cared about.
Did he care too much?
Wait, Shane was also, like a dude?! Hayden had never really felt the way he felt about Shane about another guy, that’s why Hayden always thought their friendship was so special. Was he actually being weird to his friend?
And Jackie. The way he felt about Shane was nothing, nothing like what he felt for Jackie. Fuck, the first time he met Jackie, it was like getting a sledgehammer to the chest. And it had only gotten better, stronger, the more time they spent together. To this day, just thinking about his wife made something in Hayden ache for her, even when she was just across the room.
So, okay, that’s… that hasn’t changed. Even if he does have, a crush? On Shane? Or had a crush, past-tense? He was still wildly in love with his wife.
Fuck he wanted Jackie. He wanted Shane out of the room so he could call her. No, better, he wanted to be home, in their bed, laying on Jackie’s chest, or her laying on his, both were fucking awesome, talkign this out with her.
Fuck
Fuck!
It had to mean something, though, right, that everything Hayden felt about Shane when they first met, Shane feels about Rose?
Hayden might need to do some googling later.