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Remus always considered himself a very sensible person. Rational and always on top of things.
Very few things could make him lose his mind, and one of them was Sirius.
You see, Sirius was the kind of person everyone fancies. He was charismatic and his eyes shined as bright as the star he took his name from.
The brightest star in the night sky, as fascinating as it is unreachable.
Remus spent years telling himself that he was just drawn to him because of his way of presenting himself and behaving, always at the centre of attention, loud and shameless.
In the end he had to admit the truth.
Remus was utterly and irremediably in love with his best friend.
Yes, because of course the person he was madly into was his best friend, who was never going to reciprocate his feelings, Remus already knew that.
And Remus had to live his life as if nothing was happening, as if he didn't want to kiss that bloody grin off his mouth, as if just looking at Sirius didn't make him weak in the knees.
He was good at pretending, but then everything went south on a Saturday night.
The marauders were in the common room, chatting. Sirius was smoking near the window and he looked so fucking hot.
Remus tried so hard not to stare at him, at his slender fingers around the cigarette or at his mouth while he exhaled smoke.
Eventually Sirius got up sighing, flicked the cigarette out the window and turned to Remus: "Fancy a joint?"
Remus looked up at him. James was talking with Peter about some Quidditch technique and the girls were sitting a little further, giggling and exchanging looks, talking about God knows what.
Remus shrugged: "Why not?" and he got up.
They told James they were going in the dorm to smoke and after a bunch of maternal recommendations not to overdo it and to open the windows, Remus followed Sirius upstairs.
It took a lot of willpower not to stare at Sirius' ass right in front of his face.
Once in the dorm Remus opened the window and sat on the windowsill. Sirius rolled the joint and sat opposite to Remus, their feet tangled in the cramped space of the window alcove.
Sirius lit the joint and took a drag, before passing it over to Remus. He took a drag too, staring out the window at the dark sky.
He made the huge mistake of glancing at Sirius and his stomach did a flip when he saw the grin on his face. That stupid grin, infuriatingly attractive and so Sirius.
Remus got lost in it. Maybe it was the smell of the weed or the fact that the full moon was near, but he found himself drawn towards Sirius even more than any other time.
He stared at his canines sticking out of his mouth, the dimples on his cheeks and the glint of his eyes while the joint in his hand kept burning.
He was snapped back to reality when Sirius laughed and snatched the joint out of his hand to take a few drags.
Remus cleared his throat and shifted slightly on his seat.
"What's up?" asked Sirius suddenly.
"What? Nothing..."
"You look nervous."
"I'm not." Shit, was he really that obvious?
"You keep averting your gaze."
"Shut up."
"Make me." said Sirius, still grinning.
Remus looked up quickly. Fucking God, that Sirius Black grin again. He wasn't even sure he heard him right. Did he just say 'make me'? As in... 'make me shut up'? As in-
No no no no no. Don't go there. Remus John Lupin, focus. Sirius couldn't mean that, could he? No way.
But before he could even reply Sirius' lips were on his, and his hands on Remus' neck, the joint forgotten and every bit of common sense left in him flew right out the window.
Was it possible that he was grinning in the kiss? Shit, Remus was definitley dead and this was heaven, because there was no way that Sirius kissed him. Sirius. That Sirius, Sirius Black. Kissed him!?
It seemed impossible, but Remus started believing it when Sirius' tongue slipped in his mouth and he had to stifle the sound that was building up in his throat.
That had Sirius chuckling and Remus couldn't hold back anymore. His hands found their way to Sirius' sides, gripping tight as if to anchor himself in that moment and to prolong it for as much as he could.
Sirius shifted and positioned himself on Remus' lap, his hands moved on Sirius' back and pressed him closer, just as the other boy's tongue dug deeper in Remus' mouth.
Remus felt his jeans getting a little tighter as Sirius pressed even closer to his body. Soon the only sound in the room was the loud breathing of the two boys and the clothes rustling when Sirius shifted on top of Remus.
Eventually Sirius pulled away. His eyes were half-lidded, his cheeks pink and his lips were swollen and wet from the messy making-out. God, he looked so beautiful.
Remus was panting so hard it looked like he just ran a marathon. He shifted slightly under Sirius, trying to hide the little problem in his trousers.
Sirius noticed anyway and chuckled: "Did you get excited?"
Remus' face went crimson. "Shut up!"
"Need me to take care of it?" Sirius asked cheeky, grinning.
"Sirius!" Remus got even redder if possible, but he wasn't exactly against the idea. "You're too high to be saying this shit."
"I'm not high. I barely smoked. I mean it..." Sirius' voice got a little softer.
"That you wanna jerk me?" Remus said.
"No! I mean... yeah, but- I mean that... that I like you, Moony."
Remus felt his heart doing a flip in his chest. Did he hear that right?
"You do...?"
"I wouldn't be snogging you like this if I didn't." Sirius said, kinda laughing.
Fair enough.
"I like you too, Pads..."