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Harry found himself standing in the south corridor above the dungeons staring at the ceiling and checking his watch five times a minute. He had wanted to be early to avoid drawing attention when he walked in. But no matter when he arrived, people would always stare. ‘The Chosen One’ is always noticed, invisibility cloak or not. Luckily, he wouldn’t have to spend the night fending off his hero-worshiping fangirls alone.
He was waiting for his date to the ball, Luna Lovegood. Luna was an odd girl that Harry met the year before, and despite his reluctance to open up to the strange figure, he felt calmer in her presence than any other. With Luna, he wasn’t ‘The Chosen One’, he was just Harry. That sense of normalcy drew him to spend more and more time with her as the year went on, and when they came back from summer, she was one of the people he was most excited to see.
Just as Harry was contemplating the number of questions he would receive about Lord Voldemort’s return at the party, a gentle voice arose from behind him.
“I like your shoes. They match the Wrackspurts in your head.”
Harry whipped around to face the ethereal girl. He peered at the sparkling pink satin dress she was wearing with three tiers of skirts and shimmering silver ruffles to finish the trim. Her hair flowed elegantly down her back, clipped in a half up-half down fashion, and she sported her signature radish earrings to finish the look. Harry thought that she looked, although insane, dazzling in every way.
“I like the dress,” he said honestly as Luna stepped toward him.
“Thank you” she said, coming around to stand next to Harry. “I’m missing my matching headband though. I imagine the Nargles are behind it.”
Harry smiled at the comment. ‘She really is special’ he thought.
He continued, “Should we get going?” and he and Luna set off to Slughorn’s Christmas party.
***
When the pair arrived, the party was in full swing. The small office once belonging to Slughorn’s trophies and memorabilia had transformed into a humongous ball room, decorated with green and black streamers, banners, and balloons on every wall. A band on a small stage towards the back of the room roared with trumpets, piano, and drums as the partygoers sprawled across the floor in loud conversation or intense dance. Harry spotted Slughorn in the center of the mass, certainly regalling his guests with his numerous connections to famous Quidditch players and ministry officials.
The room was bustling in every direction and to Harry’s delight, only a few turned their heads to peer at the newest members of the crowd. His eyes looked to Luna as they stepped further into the room and found a place near the drinks table to stand.
“So how long do you think we have to be here for it to be considered polite?” asked Harry.
“I imagine several hours before Slughorn will be satisfied,” Luna replied.
“Bloody hell.” Harry would never be able to escape.
“I believe if you wanted, you could have chosen to stay away,” Luna offered in her obvious way.
“Well, I've been ignoring the man all year and if I skipped one more event I feared he might start tanking my Potions grade just to get attention from me. I figured if I had to come to something, a party would be the least painful.” Harry turned to the girl, who was looking onto the party with delight in her eyes. “I really appreciate you coming with me Luna,” he blurted out.
“I’m glad you invited me. I’ve always wanted to see a party. Just the creatures floating above everyone is fascinating, let alone the dramatics of dancing.”
“Do you like dancing?” He genuinely wanted to know.
“I practice everyday at home with Father. He’s trained me to be the best dancer in the world," she said with complete confidence.
“Really? Well then I'd like to see some of these dance moves” grinning wide, “go on then, I should learn a thing or two before we step onto the dance floor.”
“You can't learn dance, you have to feel it.” Luna grasped Harry’s hand and pulled him toward the hoard of dancers, not stopping until they stood in the middle of the event. “Follow me,” she said, gesturing to herself.
Harry watched in awe as Luna began flailing her arms around herself, engulfing her body in full movement, head to toe, fluidly moving side to side, up and down, and in every direction. She was a terrible dancer. Harry couldn’t predict her next move as it often went in the opposite way as the previous one. She twirled her hands around her head and spun in circles as she expressed herself with every inch of her body. Despite the unorthodox movement, Harry couldn't help but be enamored by her. She was completely free, a feeling he had rarely experienced in life. She wasn’t concerned with who was watching or what they thought of her, she was only doing what she loved. Harry wished he could be more like Luna, forget the world around him and follow his passions without regret. The more he watched her, the more he felt he should be the one dancing and flailing with no concern for others opinions. And suddenly, without thinking, he was.
Together, Harry and Luna flailed, spun, stomped, and soared across the dance floor as others made way to watch the spectacle occurring. They danced for a long time, never breaking their stride, and never looking at anything but their moves. They danced until their feet hurt and staring became boring for the onlookers. As Harry danced, he felt more free than he had in his whole life. His troubles melted away and all that mattered were the movement of his body and the girl dancing like a buffoon with him in front of the entire party. Harry looked at Luna as she danced, just as carefree and spiritful as when they began, and without realizing it, he slowed down to watch her. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the magical figure in front of him. She wasn’t just his friend, she was something more. She was trust, she was freedom, she was love. She was everything Harry wanted in his life but was scared to look for. Harry had frozen for a full minute to stare at the mystical girl when she finally noticed she was dancing alone again.
“All done Harry? I was hoping to cover the entire floor before the end” Luna said to Harry with complete sincerity and contentment as she stopped flailing.
Harry couldn’t believe she was real and someone he got to know. He tried to speak, “Luna, I-” when a hand grasped his shoulder and pulled him away from the dance floor.
“Finally!” Hermione said as she dragged the pair to the snack table. “I thought you two would never stop, it was getting hard to ignore when it went on for a 5th song. Harry, what were you thinking?!”
Harry had completely forgotten Hermione was here, and with Cormac Mclaggen no less, while Ron stayed in the dorm room and sulked for the night. He refused to explain the dance when it was the most himself he had felt in a long time.
“I think the more important question is, ‘Where’s McLaggen?’ I’m sure you two were having an electric conversation over his quidditch skills and good looks” he said with total sarcasm. “I can’t imagine why you would have pulled yourself away from such an engagement to find us.”
“Well someone had to pull you away before it started again, for all of our sakes. And for your information, I’m hiding from McLaggen. He’s been trying to make moves all night and no matter where I go he keeps finding me. I even- OH GOD he’s coming this way. Say you never saw me!” Hermione demanded as she scurried away, ducking her head among the throng.
Harry watched his friend run from her date as McLaggen approached Harry and Luna with a wide, toothy smile. He held his arms out as he said with his usual smugness, “Potter! Long time no see. I hope the quidditch team is doing well this year without me, although I doubt Weasley holds a candle to my skill.”
Harry was genuinely considering punching him in the face. But when he remembered who was standing at his side he didn’t want to jeopardize anything that had or was going to happen tonight.
“Your loss I suppose,” McLaggen continued. “Have you seen your friend Granger? I keep losing her” he said while spinning around to look across the room.
Harry, trying to sound as genuine as possible, said “Sorry mate, haven’t seen her, too busy on the dance floor” as he glanced over at Luna with a small smile and was glad to find her smiling back with kind eyes. Harry had never noticed the beauty of Luna’s grey eyes before. He couldn’t help but stare.
McLaggen snapped back with, “Well thanks for nothing Potter. Cheers,” while Harry continued looking at Luna. Cormac raised his drink to Harry and moved to the next corner of the room to search for Hermione.
For a full 15 seconds Harry and Luna stood silently staring at each other. The quiet between them was a comfortable silence where neither was compelled to say a word. Harry, so often pressured to discuss the most difficult aspects of his life, was so grateful for it. For the chance to exist without a question, an explanation, or an apology. He felt more safe in this moment than he had with anyone else, not even Ron. Harry, more than anything, hoped she felt the same about him.
Just then, a gaggle of fourth year girls strode up to him and Luna, giggling like madmen. One girl, Romilda Vane in Gryffindor house, said, “Hi Harry! Are you enjoying the party? We all loved your dancing. It was so . . . Magical!” with a smile as wide as her jaw.
Harry awkwardly scratched at the back of his neck and said, “Eh . . . thanks. It was fine.” He looked away hoping they would get the hint to leave. They did not.
Vomilda blurted out, “Will you dance with me!?”
Harry was mortified. To think a fourth-year wanted to dance with him was humiliating. He knew exactly what he wanted to do and it had nothing to do with Romila Vane. “I’m alright thanks. I think we’re gonna go do our own thing” he said flatly.
Romilda looked down embarrassed. “Oh . . . ok. Bye Harry!” she yelped as her and the gaggle of girls left to giggle elsewhere.
“That must be nice,” said Luna out of nowhere.
“What must?” said Harry, confused.
“Having so many friends.”
“Those aren’t friends Luna, those are fans. Trust me, it’s not the same thing.”
“I think I would like it, even if they weren't the same. That’s why I liked Dumbledore’s Army last year. It was almost like having friends.”
Harry went to say ‘I am your friend Luna’ but realized it wouldn’t carry the fondness he held for her. Rather he said, “We were your friends Luna. Still are.”
“That’s nice,” she said, looking up at the ceiling.
There was a weight to the conversation when he finally asked, “Time to leave?” and the two said an Irish goodbye to professor Slubhorn and his Christmas party.
***
Out in the corridor, they began walking towards Ravenclaw tower, idling side by side along the path. Neither was in a particular hurry to end the night. Harry kept looking at Luna’s hand sweeping past his. His fingers twitched as he felt the urge to reach for it but he caught himself at the last second and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“Luna?” Harry said.
“Mm?”
“Do you ever feel weird?”
“No,” she said with complete sincerity.
“Right, yes. Maybe not weird but . . an outsider.”
“Oh . . . Everyday.”
“How do you deal with it?”
Luna thought for a second before replying. “It’s isolating, you know that, everyone avoids you like the plague and acts as if you're crazy. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm crazy. You struggle to find people to relate to and solve all your problems for yourself. It’s lonely more than anything. No one understands what you’re going through. Even if you have people around you, they never really see you, only the appearance you put on to fit in.”
“But I like being an outsider. You make your own sense of normal. You don’t listen to others' rules and explore the bounds of reality. You open your eyes to see past what's right in front of you and find the extraordinary.”
Harry smiled at this idea.
“You can only do so much, Harry,” she said as she slowed to a stop in the corridor. “Being normal is overrated. Being yourself is much more fun. And even if everyone wants you to be something else, you don’t have to be.” Luna looked up at Harry with kind eyes and grasped his hand with both of hers, smiling softly. “The people who love you will want you just as you are.”
Harry met her eyes with his and felt true warmth. Luna just explained every feeling he’s had over the past year. As he looked at her this time, he wasn’t just admiring her beauty or the way she made him feel, but who Luna was as a person. Someone who constantly sees the good in others despite them never showing it to her. A person who takes every challenge in stride and moves through life with an invisible weight she doesn’t let get her down. A girl with confidence and a strong sense of self. A free spirit who deeply believes in the wondrous things in life. She was eclectic, aspirational, creative, witty, and everything Harry wanted to surround himself with.
His entire face softened as he looked at her and let go of the breath he was holding, feeling deep love and appreciation for the person in front of him. Harry intertwined his fingers with hers never breaking eye contact and said, “Luna, you’re a genius. You know I never speak about feeling alone because I have so many people around me. It would feel like an insult to them if I did. But you completely understand what I'm going through. I don’t have to be ‘The Chosen One’ or ‘The Boy Who Lived’ or anything but myself with you. You make me feel safe Luna and I’ve found that I care for you deeply. More than anyone else in this castle.”
The moments between Harry’s statement and her reply were torture, not knowing if his feelings would be accepted or not. Just as his anxiety was coming to a full, Luna reciprocated the sentiment.
“I feel the same, Harry. You’re the one person in school I feel normal around. I don’t have to make my own with you, I can just be,” she said, taking a step towards him.
“You are my normal Luna,” Harry said, breaking out into a smile. “No one makes me feel the way you do.” Harry took a step closer, closing the distance between them, their hands still intertwined.
Harry peered into Luna’s eyes as she did the same to him, and found himself slowly moving closer to her face. He was terrified but couldn’t stop himself, as if pulled by some magnetic force destined to bring them together. The closer they got, the harder Harry's heart beat and the faster his breaths got. His eyes roamed over her face, looking for signs for him to stop but he found none. Harry moved closer then, allowing their noses to touch, a movement more intimate than Harry had thought. Their lips got so close they could feel each other’s breath. Just as Harry was going to close the distance between them Luna whispered, “What are you doing?”
Harry jumped back at this question, letting go of her hands and coming out of the daze he was in.
He was embarrassed. More than embarrassed as he raised his hand to the back of his head and scratched at his neck. “I-I- I’m sorry Luna. I don’t - I don’t know what came over me” he said as he began to turn away from her. “I- maybe I should go-”
Luna cut him off, “If you’re going to do that you should warn me. So I can get the wrackspurts out of the way.” Harry turned back to face her and saw her waving her hands like a fan around her face. “All gone,” she said with a small smile.
Harry closed his eyes and let out a breath with a laugh, releasing all the tension he felt. When he opened his eyes and looked at her, she was holding a smile and reaching out her hand to him. Harry took the invitation, joining their hands together and combining their fingers as he stepped back towards her.
Harry closed the space between them and slowly raised his other hand to her cheek. He brushed his thumb back and forth, feeling the smooth skin beneath him and looking into her stunning silver eyes sparkling under the moonlight. They exchanged a look of longing and joy as they each waited for the other to move.
Harry, no longer scared for the response, went first. “Luna?”
“Yes?”
“Can I kiss you now?”
“Yes.” she said softly.
Harry smiled as he leaned in and brought their faces together. Their eyes closed, their noses found each other again, and Harry hesitated for a moment as their lips were a mere movement away from each other. Their breathing synced as they waited for the moment that felt like it would never come. Harry, using all his courage, moved the last centimeter between them, joining their lips.
It was slow at first, Luna unsure of what to do and Harry not wanting to go too fast. But soon they found a rhythm and it all felt right. They let go of each other's hands as Luna raised her arms to wrap around Harry’s neck and he brought his now free hand to rest against the small of her back, bringing them even closer together. Their kiss was gentle and sweet, the first kiss of two nervous teenagers not sure if they’re doing it right. As they kissed, there was peace within them. No one and nothing else mattered while they were together. Only their feelings and their intermingling bodies held importance.
After a minute, the pair began to naturally separate, Harry being the first to pull back. Although their faces separated, their bodies didn't as they held each other tightly. They looked at each other for a moment with wonder and awe before moving into a hug. A deep, long hug that felt as if it lasted decades. Neither said a word as they weren’t needed. They both understood what it meant. They understood what they meant to each other. Their breath slowed as their bodies moved in tandem. Harry closed his eyes as the hug went on far past normal standards.
They held each other silently for minutes, merely enjoying existing in each other’s presence. In a way, it was more intimate than the kiss as they held each other. They were completely wrapped in each other, feeling the other’s heart beat against their chest, and surrounded by the sounds of the other breathing.
Only after several more minutes did either of them try to step out of the hug, as they heard a group of students heading towards the corridor. Harry tried to lean back once he heard them but Luna pulled him back in.
“Luna, there are people coming” He said, not wanting to share the moment with anyone besides her.
She only pulled him closer and said, "I don't care if they come. I’m not trying to fit in for them anymore. Let them see our normal.”
Harry smiled as he moved back into the hug. “All right, let them see our normal” he declared, wrapping his arms around Luna’s back again and pressing her into him. “Let everyone see” as he settled his face into the crook of her neck. Luna pressed her hand onto the top of his head and tenderly stroked his hair. It was the most comforting feeling Harry had had in a long time.
As the group of students passed, they heard muffled giggles and the shuffling of feet, but neither moved to look. It didn’t matter if they were staring at them. They would have stared no matter what. At least now it was something Harry was happy for.
Once the students were gone, Harry opened his mouth to ask a question, but paused. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. But he realized that being with Luna was the moment, they didn’t need silence for it to be perfect. “Luna?” he asked.
“Yes?”
He pulled himself out of the hug to fully look at her. As he moved back, his eyes drew to hers and found the same wistful and wondering look in gaze as he felt in his. He smiled at this girl, the one he had felt so akin to, and felt true peace in his heart. Luna smiled back with the same gentleness and care.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Harry asked.
“And go where?” Luna responded.
“Anywhere. As long as it's with you.”