Work Text:
The library of the Institute of Astronomy is utterly silent as people come and go silently through the quiet alleys, skimming over the first few pages of an old manuscript, searching for a specific book on the highest shelves, balancing their weight on the steep ladders that lean against the furniture during the day and are put away at night, or reading on comfortable armchairs near the entrance to the building. Every motion in the library is measured, as though it is all part of some kind of play everyone who entered the place knew by heart, some kind of waltz you would know the steps of as soon as you would tread upon the creaking wooden floor of the library.
The sound of the nib of a pen can be heard behind the shelves in the hand of a woman sitting at a table that is far away from the library's entrance, where the noise, the waltz cannot reach her. Keiji's hair is falling onto the table as she keeps on scribbling furiously in her notebook, twirling a strand of curly, dark hair with her free hand and biting her lip in concentration. Her hand moves fast across the paper as she gathers more thoughts in the notebook, for once not caring that her handwriting isn't neat and allowing ink to stain her left palm as it rubs against the thick paper. She raises her head, arranges her bangs and throws her hair behind her back, knowing it will fall again as soon as she looks down again. The nib of her pen taps the table as she thinks, eyes up to the beams holding up the ceiling of the library. She closes her eyes as she tries to remember the shape of the constellation, sketching it in her notebook for the thousandth time. It is filling her notebook already, and another notebook before that one. Keiji sighs, and closes her notebook, running her hand over the cover of the dark blue journal that is decorated with a couple of stickers - an owl and a star.
She puts her things away in her bag in silence. Across from her, Yukie looks up from her books, raises an eyebrow at her friend who is preparing to leave, and puts down her quill with an amused smile.
The two of them leave the library. It is only when they are standing outside the building that is a part of the Institute of Astronomy that Yukie nudges Keiji and chuckles. "Look who's been writing like some crazy wizard scribbling down ancient spells in a grimoire before it all goes forgotten. It's been a while since I've last seen you being so enthusiastic about something," she grins. "Must be some very interesting topic you're working on," she muses.
Keiji simply shrugs. "I guess my currents observations are interesting. Didn't you want to go to that place and grab some coffee before joining the others in the Institute's courtyard?" she says, seizing the first opportunity to switch topics.
Yukie hums. "Ugh, don't remind me. I don't wanna hear about this project they mentioned during the last meeting."
"The heads of the project said they were counting on your calculations to verify their hypothesis regarding-"
"I'm craving hot chocolate now!" Yukie interrupts her, grabbing her arm and dragging her toward the nearest street, an annoyed expression on her face. Keiji lets herself be guided through the town as they head to grab their drinks in the town's best coffee shop, hearing Yukie grumble something about how she should learn to read the atmosphere sometime, and smiles.
✧
Keiji closes the door to her apartment with a sigh. She takes her shoes off, yawning as she walks through the small entryway and enters the living room.
Keiji's apartment is nowhere near large - it can barely fit her and her books - but in spite of its small size, it is the cosiest place she could have hoped for. She has got a nice living room with an old couch that is really the size of an armchair, a coffee table made of dark wood, and shelves full of books and astronomy notebooks. Her bedroom is large enough to fit her bed and a small wardrobe that contains a few outfits, most of them being the Institute uniform, one nice outfit she only wears on special occasions, and a bunch of old clothes she acquired over the years and never got rid of. The bathroom is narrow, with only a tiny sink and a cramped shower, but she has managed to add pictures and plants on the walls so that it feels less suffocating.
Keiji walks by the couch and opens the door leading to the balcony. She sighs again as the cool evening air fills the room. The balcony is her favourite thing about her apartment: it has a view of the outskirts of her town - fields, a couple of reads snaking through the landscape, and a hill with trees growing on it in the distance. The balcony is large enough for her to fit in completely, and she loves to lean against it during the warm season, watching the view that never fails to soothe her mind after a long day.
She doesn't waste a second and heads into the bathroom. She takes a warm shower, allowing the water to fall down her back and forehead and wash away the exhaustion and the ache in her shoulder blades. When she feels clean, she dries herself, brushes her hair that dampens her shirt as she dresses in soft pyjamas.
Evenings are a moment where Keiji can settle in a comfortable routine she made for herself - brew herself some tea, make herself a quick dinner that she eats on her couch, lean against the balcony with a mug of warm tea in her hands after she has done the dishes. The sky is clear, and the air is chill, making her shiver as it rushes past her and into her apartment. Drops of water bead from her black curls which are still wet, falling down her collarbones and onto the balcony. She has left her slippers inside and stands barefoot, closing her eyes for a moment and anchoring herself to the ground she is standing on.
She goes inside and unfolds a blanket that she wraps around her body, then sits on the couch, still holding her mug. She gazes at the sky from her spot, sometimes looking down and watching as steam rises from her mug that should have gone cold by now but that is still warming her fingertips.
The night outside seems endless, but it is scattered with millions of tiny, shiny white dots. Ever since she was a child, Keiji knew she loved the stars. She has always had it in her, this love for the celestial bodies that she could study as much as she wanted and yet never quite understand completely. She loves how mysterious the stars are. Sometimes, she wishes the stars were not so far away from her.
A tired smile tugs at the corner of her lips as she watches a familiar constellation outshine the rest of the stars in the sky. It has shifted place in the sky since yesterday again, Keiji notices. Of course it has. Not a single day goes by without this constellation reminding her of its uniqueness, its magical peculiarity.
When Keiji first discovered that constellation, she felt like her heart was going to explode. She felt so much joy and pride to have discovered not only one star, but an entire constellation, a colony of celestial bodies that nobody knew about. Yet when she told her friends about it, when she showed them the constellation through the lenses of her telescope, they simply looked at her weird, asking if she felt unwell.
By now, she has come to terms with the fact that she is the only one to see the constellation, however strange it might sound. Other people simply seem unaware of its presence in the sky, of its nightly waltz on the night stage.
A constellation that shines only for her to see. Keiji likes that idea.
She gazes at the stars for a few more minutes, during which she thinks about the observations she would have to write in her notebook tomorrow. She has made it a sacred rule not to work during such evenings. She can write all she wants during the day, but the night is for her to rest and observe the stars only.
Keiji looks over her shoulder at the telescope that stands in a corner of the living room. She stands up, resting her mug over the coffee table, and walks over to the instrument. The telescope was her mother's, and it is one of her most precious belongings. Keiji checks that it is still in perfect condition, looking through the lenses and searching for any dust that could have gathered on the instrument. She cares a lot for her telescope: it is the tool that first introduced her to the stars.
She puts her mug in the sink and folds the blanket over the couch. Throwing one last look at the stars on the other side of her window, she smiles.
That night, Keiji's dreams are filled with stars.
✧
Keiji rolls her shoulders as she walks through the large door leading out of the Institute's celestial cartography department. Her shoulders feel stiff and there is this muted ache in her neck that she cannot seem to get rid of. She sighs as she takes a turn to the right, walking through the long corridors of the second floor.
She is relieved that she has finally handed in her observations report that was due today. Her superiors quickly checked that everything was in order, commenting on how she seemed to be more enthusiast about her work than usual. They did not let her leave without letting her know their thoughts about her last report - how it was a bit messy and could have been more precise, especially since Keiji usually handed in perfect work on time. Keiji knows the quality of her work has been going down lately. The report they talked about was the one she had been working on when she discovered the constellation that she has never been able to get out of her mind ever since. They did not know, though, and even if they did, it was no excuse for her lack of rigour - thus, she just had just murmured an apology, saying she would fix this, and she had left.
Now, she simply walks through the corridors, the heels of her boots making noise on the stone ground and echoing through the large staircases. She stares at the mosaics on the ground of the entrance to the Institute and speeds up a little when the light fills her vision, spilling over the shiny tesserae and showing her the way out.
She takes a deep breath when she finally feels the sun on her face and the breeze caress her arms. The streets are quiet, which is a blessing at this time of day, and she walks in a peaceful silence, leaving work and a long-term mental charge behind her. She has been looking forward this moment: she would not be assigned new observations until next week, which left her with plenty of time to finally rest, something she has well earned.
She allows herself to gaze at her surroundings as she wanders through the streets. The houses tower above her, tall and ancient, exuding some kind of timeless wisdom that is unique to buildings that have never crumbled to the ground in centuries. Clotheslines are hung between buildings, fresh clothes drying above the head of passers-by, and curtains sway in the wind as it enters open windows to small bedrooms.
Keiji's steps lead her to a small market: it is set up on a place she rarely goes to, as her apartment is on the other side of the town and she usually does not dwell in the streets but just head home as soon as she leaves the Institute. She looks at some stalls as she makes progress through the market.
She wants to let her mind relax a bit while she takes a stroll, but cannot help but think of the Institute and of the work she does there. She likes what she is doing there, don't get her wrong. She just thinks about the constellation - about the thrill that it has brought to her life that she had not felt in a long time.
Perhaps she should hand in some notes about the constellation. No, Keiji thinks right after: she remembers the time she told her friends about it - the comments she got, the eyes that were on her, looking at her like she was crazy. There was no reason for it to be any different for the Institute's superiors. Maybe they would throw her work away and fire her - who would want to have someone who claims to study constellations that do not exist in their staff? Worse: if the Institute did believe her, it might take her notes without giving her credits for them. That was the worst option by far. Keiji sighs, dropping the idea: her notes are definitely safer on her shelves.
She stops in front of a stall, trying to turn off her mind by staring at the goods displayed on the table. She looks for a while at a plate of pretty hairpins: one of them is star-shaped. How long has it been since Keiji last bought herself jewellery? - how long has it been since she bought herself anything at all? She usually does not buy the first thing that catches her eyes, but prefers to think about her purchase for a couple of weeks before actually getting anything. This has led her to return to a shop only to discover that the article she liked had already been bought several times in the past.
She hesitates a few more minutes in font of the stall. The vendor, an old man, is smiling at her the whole time, while she is solely focused on the star-shaped hairpin, eyebrows furrowed as she gets lost in her mind.
Eventually, she bows to the vendor and leaves. Keiji's work allows her to earn enough to pay for rent and food, but she does not want to spend her economies on some jewellery, however pretty it might be. She will settle with the few things she has already got at home - a couple of bracelets and some earrings, she believes. And anyway, she likes the stars she watches at night more than the replicas she can find on Earth.
✧
The apartment is quiet as Keiji enters it. She locks the door in silence, listening to the mechanism as she drops a bag full of groceries onto the floor.
She takes her coat off, and promptly does the same with her boots that she aligns against the wall nicely. The entryway is dimly lit, with only a single ray of light coming from the window where the curtains were only halfway pulled. Her gaze follows that ray of light on the wooden floor, and she steps forward, picking up her bag again.
As always, she first heats water for her nightly cup of tea, then sets to work and pulls the groceries from her bag, aligning them on the counter. She selects the ingredients she needs for tonight's dinner, peeling and cutting vegetables, cooking them in a pan then doing the same with some meat she bought on her way home. Keiji loves cooking freshly bought produce - she has always thought it tasted different than a meal prepared with ingredients that had laid on the counter or in her cupboard for a few days.
With the sizzling sound of oil frying her meal in the pan in the background, Keiji moves to the living room and lights up some incense, allowing it to diffuse its fragrance through the room and seep into the furniture there. The window is opened, so the smell doesn't become suffocating, and the big lights are turned off, replaced by smaller ones which do not fail to create a cosy atmosphere that Keiji loves. While her meal rests on the stove that keeps it warm without cooking it any further, she disappears into the bathroom and takes a quick shower. She puts on her comfiest pyjamas, then ties her hair: she settles on a single braid whose end she ties with a blue, silky ribbon that she found in the tiny cupboard under her sink along with the jewellery she had thought about earlier today. She had forgotten about that ribbon, even though she loves it. She had gotten it on her last birthday - a gift to reward herself for her hard work.
Feeling cleansed and content, she exits the bathroom and finds her meal still warm in the pan. She fills a bowl with her dinner and plops down onto the couch with a sigh, picking up a fork and starting to eat in silence.
The meal is soon eaten, and the bowl abandoned on the coffee table. Keiji snuggles up on the couch with a book in her lap and her warm blanket over her shoulders, and indulges in an hour of reading. It has been weeks since the last time she was able to do that. She had missed this feeling - she had forgotten how quiet her mind could get when she was not under the pressure of work duties. She sinks a bit more into the couch and tilts her head back, resting it against the headrest and closing her eyes in contentment.
Her notebook lies on the coffee table next to the empty bowl, but she doesn't reach for it. Instead, she watches as the curtains sway gently in the breeze, and she reaches for her cup of tea, sipping the warm drink slowly and feeling it warm her stomach then spread in her chest.
Keiji feels her breath catch as she sees something flash in the corner of her eyes.
She looks out to the sky, which is dark and lit with stars, as it always is at that time of the evening. She slowly stands up, wrapping herself in her blanket and making small steps toward the balcony. She stays still for a moment, staring at the midnight blue immensity, before concluding that she might have hallucinated the flash of light she saw mere minutes before.
She glances over her shoulder at her telescope that is angled toward the sky. A smile pokes at her cheeks, and she walks to the instrument, moving it in front of the balcony so she can see the stars better.
She stands behind the telescope, bending down so she can look through the lenses. She adjusts the telescope's position. The moons appears in front of her eye, huge and pale, sharp and spectral. She looks at several celestial bodies, each time moving the telescope and looking, feeling her breath tremble as she gazes at the different bodies that map the infinite sky.
She moves on to a particularly bright star, stopping in front of it a little longer, taking the sight in and thinking for a fleeting second about her notebook, before shutting any work-related observations away.
The sky flashes through her telescope a second time: this time, Keiji is sure she did not hallucinate.
She straightens up, staring at the sky and widening her eyes as she sees the spectacle in front of her. It seems the sky is breaking into pieces, like reality is being torn open and revealing unearthly sights behind that veil. Light is streaking the sky, bold, bright strokes like scratches on the night. Keiji rushes to the balcony, looking up and gasping as she sees the constellation she has been observing, falling. Each star is leaving traces in the sky as it descents toward the horizon, toward the Earth. It is gorgeous. It is terrifying.
Keiji looks at the hill that she can spot from the balcony in the distance as she hears a loud crash, and sees a bright light shine behind the hill. Her hands clutch the rail of the balcony, knuckles turning white as she breathes heavily. She whips around, dashing across the room and nearly tipping her mug over with her blanket that falls to the ground as she makes a beeline for her bedroom.
Keiji opens her tiny wardrobe and grabs the first clothes she finds. She puts on a long, large skirt whose dark blue colour she has always liked, and rushes to the entryway, putting her coat on then her boots. She does not tuck her shirt in her skirt, nor does she button her coat all the way to hide her sleeping outfit - she just grabs her keys and slams the door behind her.
The town is quiet as she jogs through the streets and on the road that springs from the town. Keiji does not question why nobody is outside, looking at the sky that seems to be crumbling onto the Earth. She speeds up, running past the gate of the town and storming into the wide fields.
The ascension of the hill takes her breath away. By the time she is standing on top of the relief, she is panting, and she rests her hands on her knees for a minute, taking deep breaths and waiting for the beat of her heart to slow down.
Keiji looks around, but she does not see the source of light that she saw from her balcony. She clutches her notebook and her spyglass against her chest - she does not know why she grabbed the items while she was on a hurry to leave her apartment. It just felt natural to get them before going anywhere.
She looks up at the night, and does not know if she is witnessing the sky's death or its rebirth. The sky is crying stars, and the light of the celestial bodies is flickering - almost trembling with emotion. The dark canvas above Keiji's head is still painted in bright hues, contrasting with the dark expanse of void.
Keiji smoothens her skirt, shaking her head and sighing. She glances at the grassy ground, looking for a place where to lie down. She feels exhausted, and somewhat disillusioned - for she might have really imagined the crash on the hill. Perhaps it was a shooting star which crossed the sky and disappeared behind the hill. The loud noise she heard probably came from an apartment around hers - she had already had trouble with some of her neighbours who were not always aware of the noise they caused after the sunset. Keiji nearly laughs at her excess of enthusiasm - Yukie might be right, after all. She needed to get a grip.
Keiji goes to lie down, lifting her head again and staring at the sky once again.
It is only then that she sees the star that is falling straight toward her.
Keiji's eyes widen, and a scream remains stuck in her throat, unable to slip past her lips. She just stares in awe as the star falls and falls and falls, getting bigger in the sky and lighting the Earth with its radiance. The star is not alone in its fall, there are several of them which are imitating it, and they form a celestial cortege that freezes her on her spot. Keiji wants to run and hide. Keiji wants to stay and see. She cannot escape the crash.
Lights engulfs her, blinding and warm, and Keiji blinks away the tears that gather on her eyelashes, leaving her with a burning sensation in her eyes and a tickling feeling coursing through her spine and the rest of her body. Her clothes are flapping, wind rising at the impact of the star on the Earth: her skirt is swirling, and the ribbon that is holding her hair is stolen by a strong gust of wind that adorns itself with it instead.
Keiji falls to the ground, lying on the grass with her hair fanning over the earth, dark locks tangling with blades of grass and obstructing her view. She tries to sit up, and gasps.
A woman is hovering above her. She has got long, wild hair that is a mix of white and grey hues but gleam like silver. She is staring down at her with huge, golden eyes that shine with curiosity and joy. The woman grins at Keiji, and that smile is so bright, it is blinding her. Keiji feels warm. Her eyes hurt. She cannot look away.
This woman is a star.
Keiji tries to force her lungs to breathe, but she cannot, not when the woman - the star - opens her mouth and speaks. Keiji knows she is talking to her, but she does not understand what she says. Her ears are ringing, and she feels paralysed, surrounded by such pure light. The sight of the woman is blurry - Keiji tries to blink, but the feeling does not go away.
Everything feels like a dream. When the woman moves, Keiji stays still, feeling dazed and limp. When she smiles, the world sways in front of Keiji. The star looks up - Keiji cannot see where. She looks back down at her one last time - allowing Keiji to engrave that sight in her mind forever.
Then, Keiji's consciousness drifts away.
✧
Keiji's eyes flutter open slowly.
It takes her a minute to recall where she is, and what happened to her the night before. Keiji struggles to sit up, her body aching from sleeping on the hard ground of the hill. She rubs her eyes that are slowly getting accustomed to the daylight, and gasps.
She looks around frantically, shuffling on her knees and searching - but searching what?
Keiji exhales shakily, facing the thicket of trees that cover the top of the hill. The place is silent, except for the rustling of leaves through which the breeze blows softly. Keiji is alone.
For a moment, Keiji just sits on the grass. Her notebook and spyglass are lying beside her on the ground, forgotten and fortunately not damaged from the events of the night before. She stares at them, hands lacing together and pulling at her nails unconsciously.
She curls up on the ground, looping her arms around her knees and resting her head on them. She feels abashed and wrong. She should be in her bed, waking up slowly in the comfort of her small bed - not here. She should be thinking about the next project the Institute assigned her, not fool around out of town and follow some crazy visions only she gets to see at night. They were all right about her being out of it lately.
She folds her legs closer to her chest, trying to hide from her guilt, until something hard pokes her stomach. She flinches, and looks down at her lap.
A packet is lying on her lap, resting in the folds of her loose skirt. It is small, and neatly sealed. Keiji lets her legs unfold, and the packet falls onto her thighs. She picks it up, feeling a little breathless, and slowly opens it.
Inside is a shiny crystal. Keiji picks it up with trembling hands, caressing the gleaming surface and feeling her eyes prickle.
She looks up to the sky. The sun brushes her cheeks where a single tear drop rolls gently, and Keiji swallows. She cannot believe the sky thought she deserved this present.
She rubs her eyes a little harshly, holding the crystal against her heart: a piece of a star, given up by the sky for a woman like her. Keiji remembers a golden smile, and she wants to cry. Her heart feels heavy with emotion, and she feels it beat in her fingertips, pulsing against the sky's gift.
Keiji stand up slowly. Her legs feel a little wobbly, and she holds on to the star, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath.
This was a promise. A promise that what Keiji had been seeing is real.
Perhaps a promise to meet the star girl again.