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Inside the digital circus, true boredom was a rare creature. Not impossible to find, mind you, but rare in the same way a quiet moment exists during a fireworks show. If you listened very carefully, you might catch it between explosions.
Today happened to be one of those rare moments.
And Jax was fixing it.
He stood inside Zooble’s room with a colorful chest in his hands. The box read “zoobles.” Then in much smaller letters
“Adventure Travel Size.”
The chest rattled softly with the unmistakable clatter of assorted plastic limbs.
Next to him stood TV Guy.
TV Guy was currently staring at a wall.
Not just looking at it.
Studying it.
With intense scientific focus.
“Do you see it?” TV Guy whispered.
Jax didn’t bother turning around.
“See what?”
“The way the pixels breathe.”
“They’re not breathing.”
“They definitely are.”
TV Guy squinted harder.
Jax grinned. This was going to be easy.
Earlier that morning, Jax had snuck into TV Guy’s room and pilfered the cigar that made his brain operate on what could generously be described as cartoon logic.
After breakfast, when TV Guy made his way back to his room to work on that conspiracy board he had hidden behind the obvious red curtain along the wall, Jax made his move.
It was difficult to guess where exactly TV Guy’s mouth was relative to his head, what with him not having a mouth and all. That’s why Jax carefully studied him at breakfast, he had made sure to memorize the exact position. He had even used cubits in the form of one of the knobs on his face.
And Ragatha thought he was stupid. Meanwhile, here he was applying historic mathematical formulas to his pranks.
TV Guy had made the critical error to let out a yawn at that exact moment and Jax seized the opening. He quickly lit the cigar like a stick of dynamite and stuffed it down the now “open” mouth.
TV Guy’s screen turned on and displayed color bars, indicating Jax had nailed the target.
The results had been incredible.
So far TV Guy had apologized to a hallway for bumping into it, and then talked utter nonsense at Kinger that resulted in Kinger shouting nonsense back and forth having a knowing understanding between them. TV Guy had jumped out of the crows nest at the highest point in the tent and miraculously not smashed his face in by breaking his fall landing on Gangle, classic double!
Jax’s personal favorite had to havebeen when TV Guy had tried to high five the Sun. She classically replied in her happy tone
“I wanna kill you!”
“Baby, you’re the light in my eyes”
“You don’t have eyes.” Jax informed him.
“My screen awes in the splendor of your glow.”
“I want you to know, I’m pushing the limits of how much heat and radiation I’m allowed to direct at a target at any one time!”
“Your warmth fills my tubes.”
He paused.
TV Guy turned to Jax.
“That came out wrong didn’t it?”
“I’m trying to kill yoooooou!” She replied in her cheery voice, singing you the last part.
“Ah, I get it Sun-dere. She’s so cute, it’s adorable.”
“Come on Casanova, let’s get out of here before things start burning again.”
Jax was on the verge of tears when one of TV Guy’s gloves started smoking.
TV Guy giggled to himself as Jax dragged him back into tent.
“We held hands.”
“I Want you dead, I will not rest until you are killed!”
“Told you, Sundere. Don’t usually go for that archetype but her voice is heavenly.”
Now, Jax held up the chest.
Inside were some of Zooble’s spare body parts. Arms, legs, decorative nick nacks, a horn, and several things whose function was questionable at best.
Zooble usually kept them stored carefully, today they had made the tragic mistake of leaving them unattended.
Jax cleared his throat.
“TV Guy.”
TV Guy turned slowly.
“Yes, mysterious purple rabbit?”
“Do you know what these are?”
TV Guy leaned forward to inspect the box.
His eyes widened.
“Artifacts.”
Jax nodded gravely.
“Yes. Magical artifacts.”
TV Guy gasped.
“MAGIC, artifacts!?”
“Circus magic.” Jax said.
TV Guy immediately took the container and dropped to one knee beside it like an archaeologist discovering a tomb.
“Explain.”
“Zooble hoards all the magic! This box has the really good stuff and won’t let any of the rest of us use those cool, interesting, artifacts.
“We must play with these immediately! For scientific reasons of course.
Jax pointed to the unicorn horn sitting on top of the pile.
“That one’s a wand.”
TV Guy lifted it with reverence.
“The Wand of Friendship.”
“Sure.” Jax said.
TV Guy stood and immediately began waving it around.
“expelliarmus!”
Nothing happened.
TV Guy nodded thoughtfully.
“Needs more emotional sincerity.”
He waved it again.
“Expelliarmus!
Still nothing.
TV Guy looked slightly offended.
“Perhaps the spell requires a magical phrase.”
“Of course, it’s a friendship wand.”
He brought a floating hand up to smack the side of his head in realization.
He pointed the horn dramatically at a nearby chair.
“In the name of harmony and pastel colored horses—“
Jax burst out laughing.
TV Guy ignored him.
“—I CAST FRIENDSHIP!”
Jax pulled the carpet with his foot and the chair knocked over, seamingly, to TV Guy, by enchanted means.
TV Guy brightened.
“Oh, hell yeah!”
He did it again and this added elaborate spellcasting gestures while making whooshing noises.
Jax leaned against the wall, watching like someone observing a very entertaining aquarium.
TV Guy eventually stopped.
“Mastering magic takes practice and patience.”
“Definitely.”
TV Guy reached back into the crate and pulled out Zooble’s teal leg with the orange hand attached for a foot.
He rotated it slowly.
“Hm.”
“What?”
“There’s something strange about this one.”
Jax raised an eyebrow.
“Strange how?”
“I can’t explain it.”
TV Guy squinted at the limb.
“It’s like… like my brain recognizes this but disagrees with the configuration.”
Jax shrugged.
“Probably a lie detector.”
TV Guy gasped.
“A lie detector?!”
“Yeah.”
TV Guy immediately pointed the leg at Jax.
“Did you eat the last chicken tendie off my plate yesterday?”
The orange hand did nothing.
TV Guy nodded seriously.
“It says you did.”
“I absolutely did.”
“I KNEW IT!”
The leg slowly rotated in TV Guy’s grip.
“Remarkable technology.”
TV Guy set the leg down carefully beside him and began rummaging through the box again.
He pulled out an arm with a prominent bicep.
“This one probably grants super strength.”
He flexed dramatically.
Nothing happened.
“Needs calibration.”
He put it back.
Next came a long, grey, decorative spiral piece, it ended in an Ethernet plug.
“This looks like a wizard beard.”
He held it under his chin.
“I am the Installation Wizard.”
Jax was now sitting on the floor, laughing
Then TV Guy lifted the unicorn horn again he spoke with the voice of one of high purpose.
“I must consult the ancient texts.”
“What ancient texts?”
TV Guy pointed the wand skyward.
“The sacred chronicles of pony friendship.”
Jax blinked.
“You mean—”
“Yes.”
TV Guy struck a heroic pose.
TV Guy began pacing in circles, waving the horn like a conductor directing an orchestra of invisible ponies.
“Magic of friendship, activate!”
Still nothing.
TV Guy frowned.
“This wand is clearly defective.”
At that exact moment, the door behind them opened.
Zooble stepped in
They froze.
They took in the scene before them.
Jax was on the floor, holding his stomach laughing, the laughter only intensifying when he noticed Zooble walk in.
TV Guy noticed Zooble after a moment,
He waved cheerfully.
“Oh hey Zooble.”
Zooble stared at the chest.
Then the horn.
Then the leg.
Then Jax.
Then back to TV Guy.
Their voice came out dangerously calm.
“…what.”
TV Guy smiled proudly.
“We’re playing.”
Zooble’s eye twitched.
“Those are my body parts.”
“Yes,” TV Guy said. “They’re magical.”
Zooble slowly turned toward Jax.
“Did you tell him that.”
Jax shrugged.
“Maybe.”
Zooble’s voice rose several octaves.
“WHY ARE YOU PLAYING WITH MY LIMBS?!”
TV Guy looked confused.
“You weren’t using them.”
“That’s not the point!”
TV Guy gestured defensively.
“You didn’t even want to play with them until you saw me playing with them!”
Zooble looked like they were about to explode.
“GIVE THEM BACK.”
TV Guy scooped the limbs back into the chest.
“…no.”
Zooble blinked.
“What.”
TV Guy hugged the chest protectively.
“The experiment isn’t finished.”
“EXPERIMENT?!”
TV Guy stood.
“This research could change everything we know about circus magic.”
Zooble stepped forward.
“Give. Them. Back.”
TV Guy took one step backward.
“No.”
Zooble took another step forward.
TV Guy ran.
“HEY!”
He ran passed Zooble and immediately bolted down the hallway carrying the crate.
Zooble chased him.
Jax sprang to his feet and followed.
“THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER.”
TV Guy sprinted around a corner and nearly collided with Ragatha.
“Hi Ragatha!”
“What’s going o—”
TV Guy shoved a random limb into her hands.
“Take this! Use its power wisely!”
Then he kept running.
Ragatha looked down at the object.
“…is this Zooble’s arm?”
Behind her came Zooble.
“GIVE ME THAT.”
Behind Zooble came Jax.
“Don’t give it back!”
And just like that, the circus hallway turned into a full speed pursuit. TV Guy laughed wildly as he ran.
“THE MAGIC MUST BE SHARED!”
TV Guy skidded around a corner, nearly losing his balance as several loose parts inside the crate bounced loudly.
Behind him came Zooble, their waddle losing ground to his longer strides.
Behind Zooble came Jax.
Behind Jax came Ragatha, still holding the arm she’d been handed moments earlier. She was unconsciously stroking the large bicep like a cat.
“Wait!” Ragatha called. “Someone explain what’s happening!”
“HE STOLE MY LIMBS!”
Zooble shouted.
“I borrowed them!”
TV Guy corrected.
“You can’t borrow someone’s body parts!”
TV Guy slid to a stop in another hallway intersection.
Jax jogged behind them, laughing so hard he had to lean against the wall for a moment.
“This keeps getting better.”
TV Guy ran through another doorway and burst into the lounge area.
Gangle was sitting quietly on the couch with her sketchbook.
She looked up just in time to see TV Guy sprinting directly toward her.
“Hello Gangle, how is the Silliest string?”
“AH!”
TV Guy grabbed another limb from the chest.
“Here, safeguard this magical artifact!”
He dropped a plastic heart bleeding cheap water colors into her lap and kept running.
Gangle stared down at it in horror.
“What is this.”
Zooble burst into the room seconds later.
“GANGLE!”
She immediately held up the heart.
“TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT.”
Zooble snatched it back without slowing down.
Jax followed, pointing at Gangle.
“You’re part of the experiment now!”
Gangle curled into a ball on the couch.
“I DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF ANOTHER EXPERIMENT.”
Meanwhile, TV Guy had already reached another corridor.
He was breathing heavily but smiling like a man who had just invented a new Olympic sport.
“Distribution phase complete.”
He reached into the crate again, several pieces remained. Most notably the teal leg with the orange hand.
TV Guy picked it up while jogging. He stared at it thoughtfully.
“There is still something suspicious about you.”
The orange hand hung limply.
TV Guy narrowed his eyes.
“Are you hiding secrets.”
The leg refused to answer.
TV Guy tucked it under his arm and continued running.
He turned another corner and collided with Kinger.
Or rather, he collided with the collection of pillows Kinger had arranged into a makeshift throne.
Kinger looked up excitedly.
“Ah! A visitor to the royal court!”
TV Guy held up the chest.
“Your Majesty, I bring magical relics.”
Kinger’s eyes widened.
“Relics?!”
TV Guy placed a strange triangular Zooble piece into Kinger’s hands.
“This artifact may contain ancient circus knowledge.”
Kinger examined it with awe.
“Incredible.”
He held it up to the light like a priceless jewel.
Behind them, Zooble’s voice echoed through the tent.
“TV GUY!”
TV Guy immediately panicked.
“The enemy approaches!”
Kinger gasped.
“Quickly! Flee before the royal treasury is seized!”
TV Guy saluted.
“Thank you, noble king.”
He sprinted away just as Zooble rounded the corner.
Kinger proudly held up the triangular part.
“I have secured the artifact.”
Zooble stared at him.
“That’s my shoulder.”
Kinger froze.
“Oh.”
Zooble snatched it.
“Sorry!”
Jax leaned against the doorway, wheezing with laughter.
“You guys are like a tornado made of idiots.”
Zooble pointed at him.
“This is YOUR fault.”
“I prefer the term ‘creative catalyst.’”
Zooble ignored him and continued running.
The chase spilled back into the central circus floor.
Kaufmo looked up from where he had been pacing nervously.
“What is happening now.”
TV Guy ran past him.
“MAGICAL RESEARCH!”
Kaufmo blinked.
“What.”
Zooble followed seconds later.
“STOP HIM!”
Kaufmo stepped aside immediately.
“I am not getting involved in that.”
Jax ran past laughing.
“You’re missing out!”
TV Guy reached the opposite hallway and ducked through a random door.
Inside was a corridor full of fractal noise portals. Dozens of portal floated in midair. Each one shimmered with swirling muted grey colors leading to adventure worlds. This was where Caine kept the portals when not in use, the grey coloring indicated they were inaccessible to prevent anyone from just walking through.
TV Guy slowed to a jog.
He looked around with wide eyes.
“Ah.”
The backstage area. This was where the Denture God worked.
From somewhere deeper in the room came the voice of Caine.
“Now remember, NPC number forty-three, when the adventurers arrive you dramatically gasp and say—”
TV Guy stepped closer.
“…intriguing.”
Behind him, footsteps approached.
Zooble.
Jax.
Several others now trailing the chaos.
TV Guy quickly grabbed several Zooble parts and tossed them randomly behind him.
“DEFENSIVE MEASURES!”
The piece bounced off the floor and scattered around the room.
Zooble dived for them mid-stride and took a moment to gather them before continuing the chase.
“You’re making this worse!”
TV Guy looked back at the crate.
Only a few pieces remained, Including the teal leg.
He lifted it again.
“That’s it.” Zooble growled. “Give. Me. The. Leg.”
TV Guy squinted at it.
“I’m telling you something about this limb is extremely important.”
Zooble lunged.
TV Guy dodged, and backed into the only colorful portal in the room.
Once inside the portal there came a half built environment.
Cardboard mountains, Placeholder NPCs, and one oddly dressed figure wearing a fedora.
TV Guy stared at him.
“Huh.”
Back in the hallway Zooble recovered for a moment before jumping through the portal.
Jax dove in after them.
Behind him, the rest of the circus cast hesitated for a few seconds before also jumping in.
From deeper inside the room world, Caine’s voice echoed again.
“Alright NPC number 44, your line is—“
He turned.
And saw everyone entering his unfinished adventure.
“HEY NOW, HEY!”
The unfinished adventure looked like a stage play that had been assembled by a committee of caffeinated raccoons. Half the environment was missing textures. Cardboard mountains leaned against the skybox. A river existed only as a strip of bright blue tape across the floor. Wooden signs pointed toward locations that clearly had not been built yet.
In the center of it all stood several NPCs waiting patiently for heroes who had not been invited.
The circus cast stumbled through the portal and landed in a disoriented pile. TV Guy landed first. Zooble landed second. Jax landed third and immediately rolled onto his back laughing. Ragatha and Kinger came moments later, the latter of which arrived still clutching the royal pillow he had apparently decided to bring with him. Gangle tailing behind them, came through eventually.
Before Caine stood a red mannequin wearing a brown fedora.
The mannequin raised one stiff arm.
“Greetings adventurers! My name is—”
POP.
The mannequin vanished.
Everyone blinked.
A second later the mannequin reappeared in the exact same spot. He lifted his arm again.
“Greetings adventurers! My name is—”
POP.
Gone again.
Caine adjusted his bowtie as he floated in front of the group.
“What are you all doing in here, this adventure isn’t finished Yet?!”
He gestured wildly around the half-built world.
“This is a closed rehearsal environment!”
Jax waved.
“Hi Caine.”
Caine squinted suspiciously.
“Why are you carrying that box of miscellaneous limbs?”
Everyone turned toward TV Guy.
TV Guy hugged the chest protectively.
“These are magical artifacts.”
Zooble snapped.
“THEY ARE MY BODY PARTS.”
Caine blinked.
Behind them, the red mannequin reappeared again. He raised his hand enthusiastically.
“Greetings adventurers! My name is—”
POP. Gone.
Jax pointed.
“Is that guy supposed to do that?”
Caine sighed dramatically.
“That is NPC number 44 I am still working on his introduction animation for this adventure.”
TV Guy tilted his head.
“Hm.”
Zooble slowed slightly.
“What are you doing.”
TV Guy looked back at the leg.
Then the fedora.
Then the leg again.
The gears inside his drug-addled brain began turning. Somewhere in there, a detective theme seemed to play.
He stepped closer to the mannequin’s spawn point.
The red figure reappeared again. He stood stiffly like a department store display that had recently gained consciousness. On his head sat the brown fedora. He raised his hand.
“Greetings adventurers! My name is—”
TV Guy gently lifted the hat off the mannequin’s head.
The mannequin froze.
Everyone waited.
The mannequin looked around awkwardly.
“…hello.”
No one moved.
The mannequin blinked.
“…I usually disappear during that part.”
Caine groaned loudly.
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”
TV Guy examined the hat curiously.
“Oh.”
He looked back at the mannequin.
“You require this hat to function.”
The mannequin nodded.
“Yes please give that back.”
But TV Guy wasn’t listening.
Because at that exact moment his brain connected two completely unrelated ideas.
He slowly turned toward Zooble and began maniacally laughing.
Zooble froze.
TV Guy waved around the teal leg with the orange hand. He held it up dramatically.
The entire room waited.
TV Guy stared at the leg.
Then the hat.
Then the leg again.
His non visible expression slowly transformed into the look of a man who had just solved the universe.
“You fools.”
Zooble covered their face.
“Oh god.”
TV Guy raised the leg high into the air like a heroic discovery.
“I’VE FIGURED IT OUT!”
Caine leaned forward curiously.
“What.”
TV Guy pointed triumphantly.
“This is no ordinary leg!”
Jax was already laughing.
“Here it comes.”
He carefully placed the fedora on top of the teal leg. For one brief moment, nothing happened.
TV Guy waited.
Everyone waited.
Zooble crossed their arms.
“Congratulations. You put a hat on my leg.”
TV Guy frowned slightly.
“Hmm.”
Then the leg twitched.
Everyone leaned forward.
The orange hand curled. The leg suddenly straightened. Then it made a strange chittering noise.
TV Guy gasped.
“YES!”
He pointed dramatically.
“IT WAS’NT JUST ANY ORDINARY LEG! IT’S PERRY THE LEG!”
Across the room, Gangle blinked.
“…did he just make a reference to Phineas and Ferb.”
Jax wiped tears from his eyes.
“I think he did.”
The leg suddenly leapt out of TV Guy’s hands.
It landed on the floor.
Balanced for half a second.
Then it ran.
Not hopped.
Ran.
The teal leg sprinted across the unfinished adventure set wearing its fedora. The orange hand flailed in the air like it was waving farewell. It made another excited chitter.
Everyone watched it go.
Silence filled the room.
Zooble slowly turned toward TV Guy.
“My leg.”
TV Guy nodded proudly.
“Agent P.”
The leg unnecessarily kicked through a cardboard door and vanished into the unfinished mountains.
Zooble screamed.
“MY LEG!”
They bolted after it.
Jax immediately followed.
“I’m not sure how this could possibly be topped!”
Gangle stared from their spot.
“…did we just create a secret agent.”
Kinger raised a finger thoughtfully.
“I believe we have created a legend.”
Behind them, Caine floated upward in mounting frustration. His voice echoed across the set like a furious game show host.
“THIS MAP ISN’T FINISHED YET! IF YOU’RE THIS EAGER FOR ADVENTURE I HAVE PLENTY IVE BEEN SAVING UP FOR YOU GUYS, JUST DONT SPOIL THE SURPRISE OF THIS ONE!”
He turned to TV Guy.
“AND YOU!”
He pointed dramatically at the fleeing leg.
“YOU HAVE AWAKENED A NON-CANON ENTITY!”
The mannequin raised his hand again.
“Greetings adventurers! My name is—”
POP. Gone.
Caine spun around.
“AND NOW HE’S BROKEN AGAIN!”
TV Guy looked extremely pleased with himself.
“Science is a beautiful thing.”
Somewhere in the cardboard mountains, the sound of tiny footsteps echoed. Zooble’s furious shouting followed close behind.