Chapter Text
“M-Mark… please…” he whispered, dropping to his knees. His hands trembled as they gripped Mark’s hips, his head lowering as if he couldn’t even look at him. “I beg of you…”
“W-Wallter…?” Mark asked uneasily, taking a small step back. “Are ya feelin okay?”
Wallter suddenly grabbed him, his grip tight and desperate, pulling him close enough that Mark lost his balance and stumbled to the ground.
“I need… I need you…” Wallter breathed, his voice shaking with urgency.
“W-What’re you doin’?” Mark stammered, trying to push him aside as heat rushed to his face.
“You can’t just barge in here and start pleadin for God knows what!” he exclaimed, struggling to push him off.
“I have my regrets… and you’re one of them,” he murmured. “I’ve missed you for so long. I mean it.”
“Oh boy…”
“Listen… Wallter, I-” He didn’t know where to start. Before he could finish his sentence, he noticed the half-empty beer bottle in Wallter’s right hand, which explained his strange behavior.
The realization hit him like a punch to the gut. He felt betrayed almost instantly. Who was he kidding? Wallter would never come back begging like this out of his own free will.
He heard him say “I love you” a hundred times before, tonight was the first time it felt like a lie
Wallter leaned heavily against him as they walked up the narrow steps to his apartment. Mark tightened his grip around Wallter’s arm to keep him steady.
“easy,” Mark muttered quietly. “yer gonna fall.”
Wallter only laughed softly, the sound slurred and loose. The sour smell of beer clung to him. His head tipped forward until it rested against Mark’s shoulder.
“mark..” he giggled to himself, mark´s chest tightened
The door finally creaked open after Mark wrestled the key out of Wallter’s unsteady hand.
“Alright,” Mark said gently, guiding him inside. “Let’s get you to bed.”
Wallter tripped once more before Mark caught him, steadying him with both hands on his shoulders. For a moment they stood too close together. Close enough that Mark could feel the warmth of his breath.
Wallters eyes lifted lazily to meet his. He leaned over to whisper something in his ear “missed you..”
The words twisted something deep inside Mark’s chest. He looked away almost immediately.
“C’mon,” he said, voice rougher than he intended. Mark carefully walked Wallter to the bed and eased him down onto the mattress.
Wallter fell backward with a soft thump, arms sprawling out as far as he can. Mark stood there for a moment, hands still half-raised as if he expected Wallter to fall again. He only sighed, sinking in to the pillow. “mark..” he muttered again, “yea?” Wallter turned his head slightly, eyes barely open.
“I love you so much.. my.. my heart aches for you..” mark closed his eyes for a moment,
Of course he did. Of course he said it now, half-conscious, drowning in alcohol, the truth blurred with the haze of too many drinks. Wallter would never have said it sober. Not anymore.
Still, hearing it again made something stir inside him.
Wallter shifted slightly on the bed, reaching clumsily for him.
“I love you…” he mumbled again.
Mark’s breath caught. He knew already he didn’t already mean it, but why does he keep repeating himself?
Mark wanted to brush his hand against him, telling him he loves him back, kiss him, stay with him..
he felt his throat tighten painfully.
he stood there in the dim room, staring at the man he still loved, wishing more than anything those words had been meant for him.
Mark had heard drunken rambling before, but this was different. The words kept spilling out of Wallter like they’d been locked behind a door for too long, slurring together but stubbornly refusing to stop.
“I messed up,” Wallter wailed to himself, staring up at the ceiling. “You know that, right? I know I did.”
Mark stood near the doorway of the bedroom, arms folded tightly across his chest.
“You don’t mean half of what you’re sayin’.” “I do.. I mean it.. every word my dear.. please believe me..”
“I shouldn’t be here,” he said. “We’ll talk when you’re sober.” He had barely taken two steps when he heard the mattress creak behind him.
“dont go..” mark stopped in his footsteps, his head was facing away from him, blushing like an idiot as he continued to beg and whisper sweet nothings to him.
“yer better be quick, im headin out.” “Mark… please,” Wallter said again, more softly now. “Just… stay. Just for a bit.”
“Why are you doin’ this…?” he groaned, covering his face with his hands as frustration and hurt washed over him.
Wallter frowned at the reaction, clearly hoping for something else, anything else.
He somehow managed to get himself up, swaying unsteadily on his feet.
“woah, woah! hey, what are—… ack!” he stumbled, nearly toppling forward.
Before Mark could react, Wallter wrapped his arms around his back, leaning his entire weight onto him. he couldn’t keep himself upright without someone holding him, and Mark’s arms tensed instinctively at the sudden contact.
“I-I just helped you get to bed!” Mark protested, though his voice lacked the force he wanted.
Wallter slurred something incoherent in response, his head tilting so that his cheek brushed against Mark’s shoulder.
Mark’s hands stayed on Wallter’s back despite the frustration simmering inside himself. He didn’t have the heart to push him away.
“yer gonna fall again if you keep leanin on me like that..”
Wallter forced both of them to fall to the ground. He ended up on top of him, hands pinning Mark’s to the sides. His face was bright red when he glanced back at him, eyes wide and flustered.
“Wallter?” Mark breathed, completely dumbfounded.
“..”
“Wallter…”
Wallter cupped his face, leaning in slowly for a soft, hesitant kiss.
“Mphf??” Mark made a muffled sound against him, caught off guard by the sudden closeness.