Work Text:
A new Harbinger had joined the Fatui, and rumors about her were circulating everywhere. Many highlighted her ethereal beauty and, at the same time, the oddness of her behavior, which did not seem to match her appearance. The rumors had reached Sandrone's ears, but she didn't pay much attention to them until her new colleague was officially introduced by The Jester and the Tsaritsa.
The Harbingers had been summoned to attend the induction ceremony. While the director of the Fatui gave a speech for the newcomer, Sandrone's eyes couldn't help but stare at her new colleague. She had been given a new name and a codename, "Columbina" and "The Damselette," a title that suited her appearance perfectly. But despite her apparently delicate and fragile appearance, she was nothing less than a goddess who merited the number three position within the Harbingers.
Despite the speech being given in her honor, The Damselette could not hide her complete indifference to the words and compliments she was receiving. The calm expression on her face conveyed that she was used to hearing such words, which she found so empty. Sandrone couldn't help but think that, of all her current colleagues, she had something special that made her stand out immediately. She couldn't quite understand what interested her so much about her, even though it was the first time she had seen her. Was it her unreal beauty? Or was it the fact that she didn't seem moved by the great responsibility that was being imposed on her? Throughout the ceremony, for some reason, she could feel that her colleague was observing her.
Sandrone was walking through the corridors of the Zapolyarny Palace heading towards her office. Suddenly, she had a strong feeling that she was being followed by someone. Whoever was silently stalking her would end up paying a very high price, even if it was one of her colleagues. The suspicion continued to torment her mind, and after a few steps, she finally turned around sharply to surprise her stalker. To her great surprise, it was Columbina, who did not seem at all frightened after being caught following Sandrone.
"May I ask why you are following me?" she asked impatiently, demanding an answer.
"I... I just wanted to know how the key that turns on your back operates, Columbina replied somewhat apologetically.
"How about I put one on you so you can find out?" Sandrone suggested mockingly.
To Sandrone's even further surprise, Columbina had accepted Sandrone's rhetorical request. Columbina spent a couple of days with a key similar to Sandrone's, without complaining once about the new device that would restrict her mobility. Sandrone would glance at her from time to time, curious to see how she was getting on. It seemed she was doing quite well, taking care not to get stuck anywhere and sitting in comfortable positions.
During the days she wore the key on her back, they naturally grew fonder of each other. Sandrone couldn't quite understand when Columbina had gone from being a stranger to becoming one of her regular guests at her tea parties. She had some unusual mannerisms that suggested she was a bit clueless, but at the same time she was extremely perceptive and intuitive. Columbina wasn't able to fully understand how things worked within the Fatui, but she wasn't interested in learning either and preferred to be looked after by Sandrone.
She once asked her why she didn't bother to learn them, and Columbina simply replied:
"I have you, and you are patient with me and don't demand that I should change anything about myself."
Columbina's words provoked a degree of distress in Sandrone, who could not comprehend how someone like her had been admitted in the first place to a place filled with wolves who would not hesitate to devour her if given the opportunity. But deep down, Sandrone knew that Columbina's words felt nice, that despite their simplicity, they were truly honest in a place where deception and lies were the norm.
…
On another occasion, they were both having tea alone. They talked about minor things that had happened during the day, enjoying a pleasant time together. Sandrone did most of the talking, while Columbina listened attentively, always with an expression that showed genuine interest. Columbina's occasional comments intended to tease Sandrone had become part of their routine, and Sandrone always fell for them, almost as if she didn't care about saving herself unnecessary annoyance. But those comments that Sandrone found detestable undoubtedly made her feel that she was truly being listened to by someone and not just dismissed as someone with a "terrible personality."
Just as they were chatting away, a question popped into Sandrone's head. It had actually been on her mind for a while, but she'd never dared ask Columbina for the fear that it might be something too personal. But this time, with the closeness and intimacy they were now sharing, she couldn't hold back any longer and plucked up the courage to ask.
"Why don't you ever take off that mask over your eyes?" she finally ventured.
Columbina seemed to hesitate for a few seconds before answering her friend's question.
"It's not worth seeing this world full of lies, but sometimes curiosity gets the better of me and I take a small peek," Columbina replied in her usual calm tone.
"Would you ever let me see your eyes?" she replied eagerly, realizing too late how tactless her comment might be.
Columbina just smiled and immediately reached up to her face, removing her eye mask. When she opened her eyes, she found Sandrone's dark blue eyes, which immediately reminded her of the sea during the nights in Nodkrai, so deep and full of unresolved doubts. From Sandrone's perspective, Columbina's eyes were the most unique and beautiful eyes she had ever seen in her entire existence. She seemed to see countless stars in her light lavender eyes, stars she liked to observe at night while she guiltily contemplated what fate Teyvat would meet. The sight of those eyes reminded her of a certain wish of her creator, who did not want Sandrone to cling to his frustrated dreams and wanted Sandrone to one day find what she wanted to do. But until that day, Sandrone had not yet found what she really wanted to do without having to prove that she was someone who was capable and useful.
Columbina and The Doctor had recently had a rather serious disagreement, which could not be ignored by the rest of their colleagues. Sandrone had repeatedly warned her to stay away from him, but Columbina was slower to realize that there was no kindness in The Doctor's heart. After the dispute between the two Harbingers, Columbina sought comfort from Sandrone, even though she knew she had been warned several times and had decided not to listen.
It didn't take her long to find Sandrone at her usual workplace, taking a short nap after finishing reviewing some paperwork. Despite Columbina's state of agitation, still feeling her heart racing, she gently tried to wake Sandrone. However, regardless of Columbina's careful approach, Sandrone woke up more startled than usual and annoyed at being woken up. She opened her eyes wide and was immediately greeted by Columbina, who was dangerously close to her, causing Sandrone to be taken by surprise and a blush to appear on her cheeks.
"W-what do you need? You can't just wake people up like that!" Sandrone hurried to say, trying to hide her embarrassment.
"I... I had an argument with Dottore," Columbina said with a tone of disillusionment.
Columbina's confession immediately angered Sandrone, as she felt that all her previous warnings had been in futile.
"See what I was telling you? But you never listen to what I say. If you thought you were going to be able to make little friends, I'm afraid you're terribly mistaken. This is a lair of wolves who wouldn't hesitate to devour you whole if it was to their advantage!" Sandrone raged, clearly agitated and not entirely in control of herself.
She realized too late the severity of her words, as Columbina quickly left Sandrone's room without turning back. Sandrone could only watch as the only person who seemed to treat her as an equal walked away from her.
She cursed herself countless times in her mind and repeatedly banged her fist on her chest, right where her heart was, as if forcing it to expel the new feelings she was nurturing for Columbina. They were feelings she failed to fully understand, but they disrupted her system and made her act like a different person just by the thought of Columbina.
Sandrone remembered the words Alain once said, that guilt is something difficult to comprehend. At that time, Sandrone had concluded that it was not necessary to learn the mechanisms behind such feeling, but this time she felt tears welling up in her eyes as she became aware of what she had done to Columbina.
"Sandrone, if I ever leave, I don't want you to worry. I know you'll be fine and that you'll do well. I remember the first time I met you, you've changed... Don't feel sorry for me, because you'll always be in my heart no matter what. We'll meet again in one way or another, and when that happens, welcome me as if nothing had changed."
…
The day Columbina finally left the Fatui without telling anyone, Sandrone remembered the words she had said at some point, as if she knew that she would eventually decide to leave. She had no idea where Columbina was, and in a way, she resented her for not even saying farewell. Deep down, however, Sandrone resented herself for not having said that to Columbina.
On the outside, she appeared completely unaffected by Columbina's departure, focusing on her work as usual. But inside, every part of her yearned to have Columbina by her side once again. Especially at night, when the moon was shining and lighting up her room, Sandrone couldn't help but miss Columbina entirely, even the parts that irritated her. She knew very well that this mechanism of irritation that only Columbina could trigger was a simple facade to hide the love she truly felt for her. She thought about what they could have been, but soon reminded herself that perhaps she would never be deserving of the love of a goddess. Columbian was a being created by the heavens, while Sandrone was the creation of a human genius. Both were beings who came into this existence in completely opposite ways, yet shared more in common than they realized.
…
As Columbina struggled to escape with all her remaining strength, she couldn't bear the thought that she may have abandoned Sandrone without saying a word. She was not upset with her for the words she had spoken that day, as they were entirely accurate, and Columbina was well aware of this. It hurt her to think that Sandrone might now despise her for leaving without saying anything, but the truth was that she didn't want to say anything because of how weakened she was. She didn't want Sandrone to worry about her, because she had a reason to stay with the Fatui. She didn't want to drag her into a battle that she had to fight because fate had willed it. She had fled for the second time from what she once called home, but this home was not with the Fatui; it was solely and entirely Sandrone.
During the time she was without Columbina, a kind of mental silence reigned within Sandrone's mind. Certainly, there were no more melodies being sung, no comments or questions to irritate her, but that silence was nothing new to her. She had experienced it before and knew it well. She hated that silence and tried to avoid it at all costs. That's why she held tea parties, went for walks, and focused on her work, so she wouldn't have to listen to that silence. But her attempts were futile. She often wondered if she was truly destined to live in loneliness, without anyone who could relate to her experiences. However, upon reminiscing about Columbina, she realized she had met someone with whom she could share these feelings of uncertainty regarding the purpose of her creation and why she had been unjustly brought into existence to witness a world overflowing with disappointment. Unfortunately, she was no longer there to help her cope.
"Columbina!" Sandrone exclaimed after finally finding her in one of the empty hallways of Nasha Town.
Hearing her name, Columbina immediately turned toward the source of the voice, taken by surprise as she had not expected Sandrone to come looking for her. She felt Sandrone approaching her with long striding steps until she was less than a meter away. Columbina wasn't entirely sure, but she could sense that the currents of kuuhvaki were telling her that Sandrone was in a similar state of mind to when they had the misunderstanding.
"Do you need anything before I go, Sandrone?" she asked, tilting her head slightly to one side.
"I..." Sandrone replied, but she could feel the temperature of her cheeks rising. She felt that this was the moment to say it, but she couldn't find the words to convey what she wanted to say. Columbina waited patiently for Sandrone to say something, but Sandrone finally gave up. "I wanted to wish you a safe journey to the moon."
The small smile on Columbina's face disappeared for a second, but she quickly put another smile on her face after Sandrone expressed her wish.
"Thank you, my dear Sandrone," she replied and turned to continue walking. She knew it was her fault for getting her hopes up after feeling the currents of kuuhvaki in the air. She slowly walked away until she felt a hand furtively grab her wrist. She turned back, but didn't even have time to say anything, as lips had landed on hers as if to prevent her from leaving.
Sandrone tightened her grip on Columbina's wrist and wrapped her other arm around Columbina's waist. She closed her eyes tightly as she pressed her lips against Columbina's. Her cheeks felt on fire, but she knew she might never have another chance to do this again. Could she really convey all her feelings with just a kiss? Was that enough to tell Columbina that she had truly fallen in love with every part of her? Thousands of questions raced through Sandrone's mind during the few seconds she was completely connected to Columbina. Her embarrassment increased until she couldn't handle it anymore, pulling away from Columbina and speeding away as fast as her legs could carry her.
She didn't even look back to see how Columbina had reacted, nor did she know if she even felt the same way about Sandrone. "Idiot, idiot!" she thought nervously as she hurried away.
Sandrone's eyes slowly opened, but she had no intention of lifting her head from the hard surface of her desk anytime soon. The discomfort bothered her deeply, but feeling that way was her way of punishing herself for what had happened. She had no idea what time it was, or what time she had fallen asleep. She vaguely remembered that before falling asleep from exhaustion after locking herself away at work, she had been crying over her desk, not caring if the papers got ruined. At that moment, her mouth had a mixture of tears and coffee. She hated waking up and, within seconds, remembering everything that had happened and how the girl of her dreams had disappeared again without Sandrone being able to do anything to prevent it.
...
Columbina was unconscious for a while as she was trapped in a space completely unknown to her. When she woke up, she felt as if she had been asleep for a long time, feeling completely empty. Why were there always a thousand obstacles in her way to get what she wanted? She couldn't help wondering if this was some kind of punishment, but that wasn't what really hurt her the most. She remembered Sandrone, her time with the Fatui, the tea parties, the first time she saw Sandrone's eyes, her frustration, and finally... she remembered the kiss Sandrone had given her. Columbina's head was spinning, because she failed to understand what Sandrone could see as so special in her. She had indirectly abandoned her without saying anything, but Sandrone never took it personally. But what she did understand was that Sandrone had everything she wanted in a home: a warm place where she could be free and nothing was asked of her in exchange. She wanted a home where she was accepted and loved just as she was. Despite Sandrone's harsh words, she knew that everything she wanted was right there with her.
The probability of Columbina being alive was extremely high. This fact made Sandrone feel more encouraged, as it was based on scientific evidence she had collected herself. But she knew that Columbina's return would not be simple, and she had to give herself completely to what she hated doing most: simply believing that everything would work out. Failure was not an option, and she would exhaust every last resource to sustain this new belief. Was it enough to give herself completely to this belief?
Sandrone's body felt entirely heavy. She opened her eyes with difficulty, looking at the ceiling above her. Had her plan worked? She got up slowly on the bed, but before she could even sit up, a figure threw herself into her arms. The abrupt action took her by surprise, but when she looked at the figure, everything made sense.
"Sandrone..." A voice whispered weakly against her chest.
This time, Sandrone wrapped Columbina in her arms, holding her tighter as if she had no intention of ever letting her go. She felt her eyes fill with tears and this time decided not to hold them back. She cried as she hadn't cried in centuries. She cried for the injustices she had to endure after building a new life following Alain's death, she cried for how hard she had been on herself with her beliefs that she deserved loneliness, she cried for all the times she felt alone and misunderstood, she cried for the times she felt that Columbina had done the right thing in abandoning her…She cried together with Columbina for some time, feeling this completely new intimacy. Columbina never let go of her, as if she wanted her body to merge with Sandrone's and never leave her again.
"Columbina... I missed you," Sandrone finally murmured weakly, once she had calmed down.
"I promise that from now on I will never leave you again," Columbina hurried to say.
"But... didn't you want to go home?" Sandrone asked with some effort.
"Yes, I did, but I've found my home now," replied Columbina, lifting her face to Sandrone's and meeting her eyes. "But all this time, my home was right here," she said, placing her hand on Sandrone's chest.