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Not Ready For Harvest

Summary:

Death and its scythe is a common vision in Eric's life.

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Eric Reed is four years old when he first sees Death.

He is sitting on the kitchen floor of a row house in Baltimore that smells permanently of cigarettes and mildew. He's learned the cabinet is a good place to be when his father is home. The cabinet does not raise its voice. The cabinet does not throw things. The cabinet is boring and reliable in ways that the rest of the house isn't.

His mother is lying on the couch. She does this sometimes. She goes very still and very pale and breathes in a way that sounds like a radio losing its signal, slow and breaking up. Eric has been watching her breathe for long enough that his legs have gone to sleep and his stomach has gone tight.

He's four. He doesn't know the word overdose yet.

What he does know is the figure at the end of the hallway. It's just there. Dark like the hallway itself, except concentrated. It's tall, much taller than his father, who is the tallest person Eric knows, and the darkness around it moves like cloth in a draft, like the curtain in his room when the window is cracked. There's something long in its hand. He can't see it clearly. He doesn't want to.

He stares at the figure for what feels like a very long time.

Then his mother makes a wet, sudden gasp, and the figure is gone. Just the hallway.

Eric sits very still for another minute, thinking about this.

Weird, he decides.

Then his father comes home and he has other things to think about.


He sees it again at six, when his father's car goes through a red light on Pulaski Highway and gets T-boned by a bread truck. Eric is sitting in the back seat, no seatbelt, because this is 1987 and some people are idiots. He is included in said cluster of idiots, on the grounds that he's six and quite stubborn for his age. He goes sideways into the door and cracks his head against the window hard enough to blur the world for a second, and in that strobing gap between the impact and the coming-back, the figure is there.

Passenger seat. Right where his father should be, except his father has somehow gone through the windshield and is now lying on the hood.

The figure looks at Eric. At least, he thinks it looks at him. It doesn't have a face that he can see. But the darkness of it seems to orient. Toward him.

Then his father groans from the hood of the car, and the figure is gone.

The doctors say his father is fine. Three cracked ribs, a concussion, some lacerations from the safety glass. Very lucky, they say.

Eric thinks about the figure in the passenger seat.

Fine, he thinks. Whatever.

He never tells anyone about it.


Adolescence is a series of situations where a reasonable person would expect to die. Eric Reed's adolescence is this plus several additional situations that a reasonable person would not expect to encounter at all.

The figure becomes familiar. Not friendly. Not comforting. He sees it when his mother goes gray on the bathroom floor at thirteen and he's the one who calls 911 while his father is passed out in the bedroom. The figure standing in the doorway, still, patient, that long thing in its hand catching no light because there's nothing to catch. He sees it when he's sixteen and he and Marcus Jeffers decide it's a brilliant idea to run a fence con on a guy who turns out to not appreciate being conned, and the guy turns out to have a knife, and the knife turns out to make a very serious argument near Eric's ribs before Marcus gets the gun from his boot and the situation gets resolved in the ugly way. He's flat on the pavement with Marcus pressing a balled-up jacket against his side, and the figure is crouched at the end of the alley, watching, that dark cloth pooling around it like oil.

He locks eyes with the place where its own eyes would be.

"Not yet," he says, aloud, to an empty alley, because Marcus is already calling for help and not paying attention.

The figure doesn't move.

"Not yet," he says again. Firmer, like the problem is a failure of communication.

The ambulance arrives eight minutes later. The wound turns out to be shallow. It's more blood than damage. The knife just scraped rather than penetrated. The ER doctor calls it a graze. Says he's lucky.

He's eighteen before he stops being surprised when people call him that.


Lucky.

Lucky.

Lucky, lucky, lucky. He's Lucky Little Eric. The word follows him through his life like a tin can tied to a dog's tail. Lucky. Useless and noisy and impossible to shake.

He runs at eighteen with sixty dollars and a change of clothes, because staying means becoming one of two things: his father, or a body. He runs to nothing in particular and ends up in Pittsburgh by way of a trucker named Keith who liked the company and didn't ask questions, which was exactly what Eric needed in a ride.

Pittsburgh is where he meets the crew.

Diane, who has a master's degree in accounting from Carnegie Mellon and disdain for legitimate employment.

Samir, who can get into any building with a lock and doesn't talk much, which Eric appreciates.

And Harvey, the scout, who planned things, who saw angles, who drew diagrams on cocktail napkins and explained them at length until everyone understood.

It's Harvey who names them, eventually. The Boston Four, though at the time they're still in Pittsburgh and haven't done Boston yet. "Aspirational," Harvey says.

Eric thinks about the figure sometimes, those years. Wonders if it's following him or if it's just something that lives in proximity to danger, like flies near garbage. He decides the metaphor is unhelpful and abandons it.

He sees it twice during jobs. Once when a mark turns out to not be alone, and once when a building they're in starts smelling like gas from a leak they didn't know about. Both times, the figure is just there, watching. Both times, Eric gets out. Both times, something in him notes the pattern.

It watches, he thinks. It doesn't act.

This is useful information.


The bank in Boston is January, 2001, and it's cold enough that even the pigeons look unhappy about existing. Eric and his crew are there on a different job when six heavily armed men in ski masks walk in through the front and announce very loudly that everyone should get on the floor.

The next two hours are complicated.

There's SWAT standoff, a shootout that ends badly for everyone involved, and in the middle of it all, Lucky Little Eric and crew in a storage room on the second floor doing the math on a plan that is either brilliant or suicidal. The distinction turns out to be a matter of execution, which has always been Eric's particular talent.

They walk out in gear stripped from a few of the SWAT team members they've knocked out with $400,000 in a bag and the chaos of the aftermath to cover their exit.

He doesn't see the figure during the job. He notices the absence, afterward, the way you notice when a sound you've stopped hearing starts up again and you realize how long it had been quiet.

It wasn't there, he thinks.

He's not sure whether that means he was never in danger, or whether it means it had already decided something he wasn't privy to.

He buys lunch for the whole crew at a diner outside the city and doesn't talk about it.


The FBI ambush is February, 2004.

He never finds out who called it in. He has theories, and the theories have suspects, and the suspects have addresses he memorizes and never does anything with, because by the time he has the time and resources to do something, enough other things have happened that the specific person responsible for the tip feels less important than the avalanche it set off.

What he knows is they had twelve hours' warning that would have let them run. What they did with those twelve hours was argue about whether to run. Diane thought the intel was good. Samir said nothing, as was his custom. Harvey drew even more diagrams on a napkin.

Eric voted to run. He was outvoted.

The ambush is a parking structure in Cambridge, and it's fast, and it's not quiet, and when it's over, Eric is pretty certain he is the only one walking out of it. Samir is roadkill. So is Diane. Harvey got three bullets in his stomach, and even if he drags himself out successfully, the blood loss would get him, Eric thinks.

He stands in the parking afterward, bleeding from his forearm where a round went through the meat of it, ears ringing, lungs burning from exertion, and the figure is right there. Not at the end of a hallway, not in a passenger seat, not at the far end of an alley. Five feet in front of him, in the dust motes and the gunsmoke and the bad fluorescent light of the parking, and it is the closest it has ever been.

He can see the scythe properly for the first time. The curve of the blade. The length of the handle. He'd been right, all those years, that it catches no light. It seems to eat it instead.

He looks at the figure and the figure orients toward him. Eric Reed, twenty-two years old, standing in a parking structure full of dead men he loved, does what he has always done.

He stares back.

"Well," he says, "are you going to do it or not?"

The figure doesn't move.

He waits.

The figure doesn't move.

"Right," Eric says, and wraps his jacket around his arm and walks out of the parking structure into the cold gray Cambridge afternoon, where a man in an expensive coat is waiting next to a car Eric doesn't recognize and offers him a job he doesn't fully understand.

Eric accepts because he doesn't have anywhere else to be.

The man's name is Langston. The organization is called Halcyon. The job is an operative position, which turns out to mean a cleaner and messier version of what he's been doing his whole life, except the diagrams are on whiteboards instead of napkins.

They give him the codename Wren, after a bird.

He thinks this is funny. He doesn't laugh, because he doesn't really do that, but he thinks it.


Eric, Lucky Little Eric— Wren now, gets a formal education, mostly from Jackdaw, who is the most infuriatingly competent person Eric has ever met and who has a habit of making his points through questions rather than statements, which Eric finds exhausting and effective in equal measure.

He gets diagnosed, formally, with antisocial personality disorder, which he receives the way he receives most information. He'd suspected something like it for years. The confirmation is more interesting than distressing. It's useful to know how you're wired, the way it's useful to know the specs of a piece of equipment. You plan around it. You account for it. You build systems.

The figure shows up, over the years.

A botched exfil in Prague where the safe house isn't safe. A car that hydroplanes on black ice outside Lyon. The building in— wherever and whenever that was, '07, the one with Jackdaw and Rose— when the structural damage is worse than anticipated and Eric is pulling himself through the wreckage by his elbows with his ears bleeding and something's wrong with his knee and everything is on fire. The figure is there in the smoke, and he stares it down.

Not yet, not yet, not yet—

He makes it to open air, and survives, and Rose is there, and the figure is gone.

He does not become sentimental about surviving. Sentimentality is an inefficiency. He is not wired for it, and even if he were, Halcyon is not an organization that rewards it.

What he does do, quietly, privately, in the part of himself that he keeps very small and very locked, is note that the figure has never, not once, not in thirty-some years of close acquaintance, raised that scythe.

He doesn't know what to do with this.

He doesn't know what it means.

He files it under things that happen and moves on.


May 16, 2015 is supposed to be clean.

He's done clean before. He's done clean dozens of times. He plans better than anyone in the organization. Better, probably, than anyone in the industry. And clean is what happens when you plan correctly and execute correctly and account for your variables. Eric has been Lead Operations Coordinator for a good portion of years. He has a ninety-five percent success rate on field operations, which is the best in the organization and which he considers a personal failure only in the respect that it is not one hundred.

Crown Lake is a good location. He's scouted it three times. The soil is soft, the sightlines are good, and the access road is far enough from the main road that the sound doesn't carry.

He has a new shovel. He's thought, briefly, about the efficiency argument against new shovels, and decided that the optics of the new shovel versus a stolen one are worth the forensic risk. He doesn't often make concessions like that. He makes it for this.

He has accounted for every variable he can identify.

He has not accounted for Rose.

He should have. In retrospect, that's what bothers him most. Not the loss, not the outcome, but the hole in his planning. Rose is his variable. Rose is the thing he didn't account for. Rose was Effigy's person in ways Eric recognized but didn't fully model for. Modeling for that kind of thing requires emotional architecture he doesn't have access to, and so there it is. A gap in the plan carving open everything he's built.

His mistake: Rose, the legacy.

But he didn't know that while he was standing six feet back from the hole, watching Effigy dig. He didn't know it until the shovel came up and the gun went sideways and the thing between them became something ancient and honest, two people who'd been in too many rooms together, who'd sharpened their skills against each other for years, who both knew the other well enough to know exactly where to aim.

It's a good fight, technically. Eric can acknowledge that. Two trained operators at the top of their respective games, in the dirt, with whatever's at hand, because that's what happens when you strip everything else away.

He almost wins.

The problem is that Effigy has a smuggled scissor paperweight and grief, and grief is an accelerant, and Eric has known this for years and still failed to account for the variable, and here is the result: he's on his back in the clearing, thirty yards from Crown Lake, and the sun is doing that thing where it goes amber and long-shadowed before dusk, and he is bleeding and shedding water from several places that he can feel and probably several more that he can't.

He is lying on the ground in a clearing next to a hole he made Effigy dig, which at the current trajectory is going to contain him rather than them, and this is—

This is fine. He makes a note of it. This is fine as a statement of fact, not of acceptance. Just: this is the situation. This is the data. Process the data.

He is dying.

He is probably dying.

He has been probably dying before. Usually the figure shows up at these junctures.

He looks, because it's habit, the same way he always looks, even if it hurts.

The figure is there.

Of course it is. Obviously it is. Eric Reed has been playing this game with this particular presence since he was four years old and the rules of it have not changed in over three decades. The figure comes when the odds tip far enough, and the odds have tipped, and the figure is here.

He should feel... something. He is aware that people feel things at this juncture. He has read about it, been briefed on it, observed it in others. The life-review, the light at the end of something, the peace that is apparently supposed to descend. He has always suspected it wouldn't work that way for him, and he turns out to be right, because what he feels, lying in the clearing dirt, is mostly just irritated.

Not at Effigy. That's on him. He didn't dig deep enough, metaphorically, in his accounting for the human element. That's the job. That's his gap.

He's irritated at himself.

He is a grown man and he is adjacent to a hole in a clearing next to a lake, and he did not finish the mission, and he did not account for the variable, and he is probably dying, and the figure is standing at the edge of the treeline like it always is, like it's always been, and he thinks very clearly, I have seen you every time I was about to not die, and if you're going to change the pattern, you could at least be expedient about it.

He stares at it.

The light goes amber. The pines are very still. Somewhere on the lake, ducks are doing whatever ducks do, which is apparently live their best uncomplicated lives free from operational failure and blood loss, and he finds he has no opinion about this except that the sound is calming, which is annoying because he doesn't especially want to be calmed right now.

The figure has the scythe in hand. He can see it clearer than he's ever seen it, the blade catching the amber light and holding it in a way it shouldn't, given that every other time he's looked at the thing it has only absorbed. He watches it the way he watches everything.

He waits.

The figure doesn't move.

"Come on, then," he says, and his voice comes out softer, weaker, more blood-clogged than intended. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

A pause.

A very long pause, the clearing holding its breath, the pines holding theirs.

Then—

The figure does something it has never done before.

It tilts its head. That same non-face, that concentrated darkness, but the quality of its attention shifts, and Eric can't explain how he knows this except that he's been watching it his whole life and you learn to read the things you watch long enough. It tilts its head the way a person tilts their head when they're considering something. When the calculation is still running.

When the outcome isn't yet decided.

He stares at it.

It stares back.

Not yet, he thinks, and means it less as a protest and more as something else. An argument, a counterpoint laid on the table. I'm still here. I'm still in this. That's always been the deal, hasn't it? That's been every time. I'm still here.

He doesn't know if it works that way. He doesn't know if anything works that way. He's a man who doesn't believe in things he can't quantify, and he has spent years failing to quantify this one specific thing, and lying in the dirt with multiple stab wounds is perhaps not the ideal moment to renegotiate his epistemological commitments.

But he stares.

And the figure...

The scythe lowers slowly. The blade drops, and the cloth moves, and the figure is receding. It disappears.

The clearing stays amber. The pines stay still. The ducks are still audible.

Eric lies in the dirt and breathes, which is getting increasingly hard to do and god it hurts, but he has made a career of doing things that hurt.

Alright, he thinks. Alright.

He doesn't know what comes next. He doesn't have a plan, which is a condition he has not been in since he was eighteen years old running away from Baltimore with sixty dollars and no destination, and he'd hated it then and he hates it now. But the figure is gone, and—

The sound reaches him before he sees it. A rhythmic thrum, felt more than heard, pressure building in the amber air. The pine canopy shudders at the leading edge of the downwash, and the ducks on the lake presumably have thoughts about this that they express in duck.

He tips his head back slowly, given the situation, and watches the helicopter clear the treeline and settle into the far end of the clearing, and he watches Jackdaw drop from the side door before it's fully touched down, because Jackdaw has never made a small entrance in his life and clearly doesn't intend to start.

Eric can barely look at Jackdaw.

Jackdaw looks at Effigy, then at Eric, then back at Effigy, and says "Jesus Christ." That tells Eric something about what he looks like right now.

He keeps breathing.

The helicopter idles. The downdraft moves through the clearing and kicks up dirt and pine needles and dead leaves.

The figure is gone. Eric Reed is thirty-three years old, lying next to a hole, bleeding from places he's stopped counting, with his career in ruins and his mission failed and the leader of the organization he's worked against for several years crouching over him in khaki—

And somehow, impossibly, according to the math he's been doing since he was four years old watching a figure at the end of a dark Baltimore hallway,

He is still here.

Fine, he thinks, the word settling somewhere behind his sternum like a coal going to amber. Fine. Not yet.

He closes his eyes and permits the helicopter's thunder to fill the clearing.

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