Shadows are falling and I’m running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile
It’s been a year, but time hasn’t stopped the nightmares.
It’s the same every night. Zayn stands in an empty airport with the bouquet of flowers meant for his boyfriend, panic running through his veins, and there’s absolutely nobody around to tell him what’s going on. One of the tellies on the arrival/departure boards clicks on by itself, showing the status of only one flight. Zayn knows he’s in his nightmare by now, and he already knows what the board says, but he reads it again anyways.
“Flight 82: New York to London - Status: See Agent”.
And every time he reads it, he still feels the same punch to the gut as he remembers that Flight 82 is Niall’s flight.
If I leave you, it doesn’t mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile
The rest of the tellies turn on, each showing a different but equally horrifying display of an airliner plunging into the Atlantic Ocean, smashing against the frigid water, and all that's left is debris.
Zayn’s flowers are wilted now, rotten petals falling to the ground along with his tears.
He wakes to find small wet spots on his pillow that mean the tears weren’t only falling in his dream. Zayn hates waking up almost as much as the nightmare itself, because now he is conscious and has to face his mournful thoughts.
It’s been a year, but the pain of Niall’s death is still with him. The pain of not hearing his adorable laugh when Zayn screws up the dinner; the pain of not waking up to his bright blonde hair tickling his chin; the pain of seeing Niall’s chair (the one he fell in love with in the furniture store and begged Zayn for permission to buy) without the Irish lad lounging in it and munching on a bag of chips.
Sometimes when you’re doing simple things around the house
Maybe you’ll think of me and smile
It makes Zayn sad and angry that his and Niall’s anniversary is now plagued by being the anniversary of Niall’s death, too.
Niall was set to arrive back from New York, where he was doing some press work concerning One Direction’s 8th birthday, on Zayn and his anniversary. Zayn had a bouquet of sunflowers, Niall’s favourite, for when he arrived at the airport to greet his boyfriend, hoping that by the time they left the airport, the ring in his jacket pocket would be on the blonde boy’s finger, and he could call him his fiancé instead.
You know I’m tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for awhile.