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“Ivan.” Lovro says firmly.
“Lovro.” Ivan replies just as firmly without breaking eye contact.
“Ivan.” Lovro repeats, but changes the tone so it sounds like a warning.
“Lovro.” Ivan says again, this time accompanied by an eyebow raise that looks like a challenge.
“Say that again and you won’t get another kiss for the rest of the day.” Lovro says, breaking eye contact to stare at the ceiling so he’s not tempted to do what he just promised not to do. The promise of the rest of the day without kissing being an easy one to fulfill, since they already spent the majority of the day in Lovro’s tiny single bed doing just that. And he’d only have to endure about two hours of no kissing.
“What, that I don’t really vibe with your cartoons?” Ivan says with that stupid cocky smirk of his.
“That’s it. You’re not getting more kisses from me today.” Lovro says, pulling on one of the strings of Ivan’s hoodie just to annoy him back. But Ivan has a talent of looking unfazed at his attempts to annoy him and watches him pull until it looks like just one long string. “You don’t disrespect Kimetsu No Yaiba in my house.”
“Kimtsu no-what? I thought it was Demon Slayer?” Ivan says mid laugh, seeming very amused at the idea of offending Lovro’s love for anime. Lovro has to make a conscious effort to not react to that laugh, and moves to pull on the other string as Ivan sits up on the bed to lean over him. He settles next to him until all his weight is in his arm, and the opposite hand is free to hold both strings in place when they’re back to being the same lenght.
“Calling it by its english name is almost as offensive as watching it dubbed.” Lovro replies and crosses his arms as he looks away, trying to avoid Ivan’s gaze and lips. He won’t lose their battle before it even starts. “You come to my house, you steal my shark slippers, you disrespect my anime… stop looking at me like that. I said I’m not kissing you and I mean it.”
“And how am I looking at you?” Ivan asks, his signature Ivan smirk still intact like he doesn’t have a care in the world. He moves his free hand to lay it over Lovro’s stomach, and Lovro responds by gently pinching on his arm.
“Like you think I’m joking and I’m gonna kiss you anyway.” Lovro replies, trying to keep the nonchalant act as he feels Ivan’s hand moving again to rest between his hoodie and shirt. He moves to fit better under Ivan’s frame, and uses that as an excuse to surpress the shiver Ivan’s touch still causes him. They’ve been in this position the entire day, and they’ve been officially dating for over two weeks now. Lovro should be used to it by now, but even the thought of Ivan brushing past him still made Lovro’s skin tingle.
“Oh no, I believe you. It’s such a shame, really. But I understand if you don’t want to kiss me.” Ivan says nodding. He makes a show of exaggerating his fake I understand expression, and it’s impossible for Lovro to hide his smile at that. But he will keep his act, no matter how smiley he gets when it comes to Ivan. He won’t be the first one to break.
“Good.” Lovro says, imitating Ivan’s nodding. He presses his lips together inside his mouth in attempt to hide his smile, and show Ivan they’re not available. “’Cause I won’t.”
“But you didn’t say anything about me kissing you, right?” Ivan says, raising his eyebrows. And now the hand that was caressing Lovro’s stomach over his clothes is rolling his shirt up under the hoodie, storking on bare skin instead. And there’s no way for Lovro to hide his shiver now, so instead he closes his eyes and lets himself feel Ivan’s touch. Of course Ivan would immediately find the crack in his plan. And who’s Lovro to change the rules now? So instead of saying no, Lovro shrugs in another attempt to sound indefferent, and says “You can do whatever you want. But I won’t kiss you back.”
“Okay. So I can kiss you here then.” Ivan says, as he barely brushes his lips to his left cheek. Lovro looks at him still feigning indifference and gently nods.
“And here.” He moves to press his lips on his other cheek.
“And here.” A kiss to his forehead.
“Also here.” A kiss on his chin, and Lovro has to press his lips together again because he’s so close he’s scared his lips will act on their own and kiss him anyway. Then Ivan moves to where he knows he has a stream of moles in his face.
“Can I kiss here? I've wanted to kiss these beautiful moles of yours for the past three months" Ivan says as he gently rubs the tip of his nose to Lovro's. This gets out a chuckle out of Lovro, who scrunches his nose in response. “I could kiss them all day to compensate.”
"Don't lie. We only met two months ago" Lovro says, almost in a whisper, as Ivan starts slowly spreading small kisses on his moles starting from the one near his lips and slowly moving up his cheek.
"I'm not lying." Ivan says between kisses, moving his free hand to hold the back of Lovro's neck as he keeps leaving small kisses on his cheeks and neck. The gentle movements and Ivan's deep voice working as a sort of invisible force shutting Lovro's eyes and forcing a sigh out of him. "I had such a huge crush on you since I first saw you. You have no idea all the trouble I had to go through just to get an invite to that party at Eva’s."
"What? What do you mean?" Lovro softly asked, confused. He gently pulls away to properly look at Ivan. "You mean the party when you took me home? We didn't know each other then."
"You didn't know me, but I knew you. I mean, I barely knew your name, but I kept seeing you everywhere." Ivan says as he pulls away, stroking his moles with his thumb instead. He revelas this fact like it's nothing, like it's an obvious detail Lovro should already know.
"What are you even saying right now? Are you serious?" Lovro asks still in disbelief. He can't believe Ivan knew who he was before he even looked at him. Lovro always thought it was the other way around, judging by how he was already so smitten to see Ivan from afar in the middle of the night. Still, Ivan nods like it's not a big deal. "But I've never even seen you in school before that, I think I would've remembered you and your Tomos."
"There we go with the Tomos again. You and your friends are so jealous of her I should let all of you have a ride so you leave her alone." Ivan says rolling his eyes.
Then he removes his hand from Lovro's stomach and rolls onto his back with a sigh. It makes no sense for Lovro to pretend he doesn't miss his touch, so he immediately follows him until he's the one leaning over him now. Ivan positions one arm to the back of his head, as his other hand starts playing with Lovro's fingers that are back in his hoodie strings.
"No, really. When did you see me? I could’ve sworn we met each other that night." Lovro says. He can't believe Ivan was already orbiting him before that and he had no clue. He wills his brain to avoid thinking about the time they missed because he didn't notice him sooner. "Didn't you start school after Christmas?"
"I transferred at the end of November, but I took the tram to school most of december because I was fixing some things with the Tomos. I guess I just blended in with the rest. And you weren't really observant were you?" Ivan asks and flicks his nose, mimicking that first night in his apartment. "I couldn't keep my eyes off of you whenever I saw you. It was when you still had bleached blond hair and you looked so hot I couldn’t look away."
"Ivan." Lovro says in response, because he doesn't know what else to say. If someone took a picture of him right now he was probably gaping like a fish. Which is a probably the reason for Ivan's unmovable smirk.
"Lovro." Ivan says back in the same tone as him. It's a little game they have where they just say each other's name until one of them gives up.
"I don't believe you." Lovro says, and his voice sounds so soft even to himself that he mentally reminds himself he’s supposed to be playing hard to get. He shouldn’t sound so lovesick right now. It’s true that he doesn’t believe him. Because there's definitely no way he didn't notice a guy as beautiful as Ivan looking at him for months before that night. Ivan laughs at this and cups his cheek with his free hand, like he's unable to go ten seconds without touching him. Lovro’s definitely not complaining.
"You can ask Tina, she's the one I went to for my daily Lovro information. I had to act like I cared about gossiping just because I saw her hanging out with you once." Ivan says, now stroking his cheek with his knuckles. Lovro’s not surprised to hear that Tina is somehow involved in all this, but he still shakes his head trying to map out a timeline that would fit Ivan in Nora’s surprise party.
"If you still don't believe me I also saw you in the tram the day before that party. You were with Ema and Jakov and you were carrying a cake. I was sitting in the opposite seat of yours and I remember my heart jumped when I saw you because I wasn't ready to see the guy I had a crush on and hadn’t seen in weeks randomly on the tram with me.
“And then I overheard you talking about anime with Ema because of course that’s the frist thing I heard you say and learned about you.” Ivan says, this last part with an exaggerated eye roll that makes Lovro poke his chest a few times. “Okay, sorry. I promise I’m not creepy, I was just there and it was impossible not to listen. Then I just… kept replaying that moment in my head the rest of the day and I knew I had to see you again immediately."
“But how did you find out about the party?” Lovro asks, his eyes focused on Ivan’s hoodie strings again so he doesn’t focus on how kissable his lips look right now. He’s been wondering for a while why Ivan was at that party if he didn’t know anyone. His stomach twists a little at the thought of him being there just to see him.
“I asked Tina for the address when I saw people from school posting stories. I just assumed you were gonna be there and told her I wanted to go.” Ivan says, shrugging. “I think she was excited to be the one to invite the new guy.”
"Mhm I see… So me talking about anime is what did it for you?" Lovro asks, backtracking to the previous comment. He smiles as he sees Ivan rolling his eyes again, this time accompanied by an exasperated smile that makes Lovro start to immediately regret his no kissing promise, because there’s nothing else that he wants to do right at that moment than to kiss that smile off his face. He pokes on his chest again instead. “And you still dare to insult my taste.”
"Should I be scared of you going back to Ema to be weebs together?" Ivan asks. Eyes locked intensely on him and smirk back in place.
"Mmm.. I don't know, I don't really like her the same way I like you. But we did have fun together talking about anime, you know?" Lovro says with a sigh, as if he’s wistfully remembering a better time. Ivan carefully listening to him at the same time that his fingers play with the hair in the back of Lovro’s ear. "Maybe I should call her again to complain about you. I’m sure she has male friends that would love to watch Hunter x Hunter with me."
That seems to have the desired reaction, because Ivan’s smirk is now replaced by an offended frown. He drops his hand from where it was now playing with his earlobe and straightens up in the bed, forcing Lovro’s arms to fall to his sides, acting as if Lovro just insulted his entire family. And that’s all Lovro needs to burst out laughing against his chest.
“Excuse me, Lovro Devic. What did you just say to me?” Ivan asks, and it’s now his turn to poke Lovro’s side as he laughs against him. This just makes him laugh harder, but he won’t admit to being ticklish so early in their relationship, so he tries to disguise it as a laugh at his reaction. “Why are you still laughing? Is my suffering funny to you?”
“Why are you suffering at the idea of me making friends?” Lovro asks with feigned innocence once he’s able to stop laughing. He lifts his head to look at Ivan as he lies down again. “I need more people who understand my passions.”
“I can understand your passions!” Ivan protests, still acting offended. “And you already have friends, I’m sure Jakov will be happy to watch Hunter x Hunter with you.”
“Of course he would, but he’s tired of me.” Lovro replies, adjusting his body again so he’s not completely on top of Ivan. “Sometimes you just need to watch with new people to introduce them to a new world of art. And to have the excuse to talk about it.”
“I see.” Ivan says, squinting his eyes. “And why does it have to be male friends specifically? Why can’t it be girls?”
“Because you wouldn’t get jealous if it were girls, so what’s the point?” Lovro replies smiling innocently again. He moves his face closer to Ivan’s to lock eyes while he says this, until their noses are brushing each other.
“You’re just gonna admit you’re trying to make me jealous? Just like that?” Ivan asks, making his nose bump against Lovro’s again, exactly like he intended. Lovro is still a bit scared to admit how obsessed he is with the small casual touches he constantly gets from Ivan. Even though Ivan seems to be aware of it and he loves them just as much.
“And it seems to be working perfectly.” Lovro replies, nodding slowly. Ivan then closes his eyes and sighs close to Lovro’s mouth, making Lovro turn his face to the side to avoid kissing him accidentally. Instead, Lovro starts to brush the tip of nose to his cheek to keep himself busy while still having an excuse to touch him.
"So I have to watch anime to win your heart?" Ivan asks after a while. Lovro lifts his face to look at him again. You already have my whole heart is what he wants to say, but instead he replies "You could try that, yeah. We could watch something together, but you have to pay attention. No funny business."
"Okay, I think I could be persuaded." Ivan says, with that soft smile that makes a tiny dimple pop out and Lovro obsessed. His gaze locks intensely in Lovro’s mouth, making him look almost drunk by the sight. Lovro has to remind himself that he still won't kiss him, at least not until Ivan's ready to apologize, or do something to earn another kiss. "Can I get a kiss now?"
"That's it? Do you think it's gonna be that easy?" Lovro asks, pressing his index finger into his cheek for emphasis. He has to be strong to keep up his act, so next he hides his face into the crook of Ivan's neck to avoid his intense gaze. He feels Ivan's arms wrap around him and lets himself smile against his boyfriend's neck while he's not seeing him. "You can't just insult my favorite manga and then think i'm going to forgive you just because you say you might watch something with me. That’s the least you can do."
“Okay… So what should I do then? Please tell me what I need to do to get a kiss. I’m all ears” Ivan says. Lovro lifts his head to look at him again, and finds him seemingly unable to remove his eyes from Lovro’s mouth. Lovro thinks that he could ask anything from him at that moment and he’ll immediately agree.
“I don’t know, I’m sure you can think of something.” Lovro replies, because he’s having so much fun messing with him he’s not sure he wants it to be over. Although he’ll definitely be happy when it’s over as well.
“Mmm, alright. Okay, so I have to do something to get a kiss then.” Ivan states as if he’s waiting for confirmation, and Lovro nods in agreement. He bites his lip to surpress a smile, at the same time that he feels Ivan’s embrace get tighter as he roll them around so that he’s the one on top again. “And I guess promising to watch one of your little cartoons with you won’t work, right?”
“Not if you keep calling it that, no.” Lovro replies shaking his head. And now it’s his turn to hold Ivan’s face and trace his cheeks with his thumbs, hands moving on their own accord.
“Right. I figured.” Ivan says, as he purses his mouth in thought. “So if I promise to take you out to that kebab place you like tomorrow, I guess that also won’t work.”
“Nope, that was our plan anyway. But you might be getting closer.” Lovro says, batting his eyelashes to tease him further, but Ivan’s eyes are still focused on his mouth.
“I could make you nutella pancakes for breakfast.” Ivan says, as if considering every option. “Your mom gave me the recipe last week because she said you loved them.”
“Really?” Lovro asks and frowns, confused as to when that happened. Ivan had already met his mom weeks ago, but he was embarrassed everytime both of them were in the same place so he tried to keep them away from each other most of the time.
“Yeah, it was when you were showering. I followed her Instagram” Ivan says, matter of factly. “Then she told me you’re tired of her pastries but there’s something you always love, and she gave it to me in case I want to learn to make your favorite food.”
“Okay… I’d really like that, actually.” Lovro smiles at the thought of Ivan making him the pancakes he used to love as a kid. He imagines Ivan in his mom’s kitchen wearing an apron that’d probably be too small for him. Knowing Ivan he would go all in with the details to make the best pancakes just for him, while also adding a bit of himself because Ivan’s not made to follow every rule on the book. Lovro would just have to make sure there’s no gummy worms near him.
“Yeah?” Ivan smiles back at him and leans down, only to end up kissing his cheek again when Lovro gently moves his face. He lets go of his face to wrap his arms around his neck instead, and feels Ivan groan against his cheek. “Not enough, then?”
“Mm, not sure. I mean I really like the idea, and you’ll definitely have to do it now.” Lovro says as his fingers play with Ivan’s short hair. “But I feel there’s something missing you know?”
“Now you’re just being mean to me” Ivan says, pouting. “You just want to see me begging for a kiss.”
“You said it, not me.” Lovro replies, shrugging. “But who knows? Maybe it works, I don’t know.”
“You’re torturing me on purpose.” Ivan says, staring directly to his mouth again. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anime was just silly japanese cartoons. And that it could never be compared to Fight Club. And that Brad Pitt is hotter than any of those manga characters.”
“Thank you for the apology.” Lovro says unable to hide his smile. “And for the record I could name at least 10 anime characters hotter than Brad Pitt.”
“You know who’s hotter than Brad Pitt?” Ivan asks, raising his eyebrows. Lovro mimicks the expression as if you ask who?, “You” he says, before Lovro bursts out laughing.
“Nah, now you’re just saying nonsense to get me to kiss you.” Lovro says, and Ivan immediately shakes his head. “If nineties Brad Pitt was in the room with us asking you to kiss him right now, and you had to choose one of us, who would you choose? Don’t lie Ivan Kovačić.”
“First of all, if nineties Brad Pitt was here I’d ask him to join us.” Ivan says without missing a beat. Lovro immediately swats his arm as a way to ask him to shut up, which causes Ivan to let out a laugh. “And second, that’s so unfair! He’s asking me for a kiss and I’m supposed to reject him? You’re the one rejecting me right now, so I should be going to him.”
“You’re not only supposed to reject him! You’re supposed to just answer the question, Ivan.” Lovro says. “And you already did, so now I know that you’d rather be kissing Brad Pitt right now instead of me, so obviously you don’t really want me to kiss you.” A sigh. “That’s a shame, I was about to kiss you just now.”
“Oh my god, stop manipulating me! I should be the one jealous of you being best friends with your first crush!” Ivan protests and pokes on Lovro’s side making him let out a laugh as he squirm and swat his arm again.
“That’s not the same. I’ve been over Jakov for years now and you’re still obsessed with Brad Pitt. How can I be sure that you won’t leave me for him?” Lovro asks, still pushing. He could tease him like this all day long.
“Right. I’ll keep that in mind for the next time I hang out with him.” Ivan replies. “I’m sorry Brad, my boyfriend doesn’t want me to hang out with you anymore, please put your clothes back on.”
“Ivan.” Lovro says, eyes widening in pretend disbelief. He moves his hands to Ivan’s face again to squish his cheeks for emphasis. “Why is he naked in this scenario?”
“Lovro.” Ivan says, words muffled from the way his cheeks are squished in Lovro’s hands. Lovro lets go enough to hear what he has to say for himself. “If he’s begging for a kiss he’s clearly attracted to me. You should be focusing on how I’m asking him to get dressed. How I’m being faithful to my beautiful, stunning, hotter than Brad Pitt boyfriend.” Ivan continues, and breaks free from Lovro’s hands to kiss on his neck again.
“You’re so full of shit.” Lovro laughs. And he keeps laughing at the mixture or everything: their ridiculous conversation and how it could go for hours, Ivan indulging his dumb game and how he seems to enjoy it as much as he does. How Ivan’s running out of things to say and do to get a kiss, turning almost desperate in the process.
“I’m probably not even hotter than that previous guy you dated. Did he also bother you about anime?" Lovro asks, just to keep pulling at his strings. And if he’s being honest, he’s also been really curious to ask about him for a while.
"We didn't really talk much..." Ivan says with a slight rise of his eyebrows, as if he were surprised by the sudden question. "He was interesting in a different way than you."
"So you're telling me he was hotter than me? Okay." Lovro replies, immediately regretting asking the question. "Don't answer that I don't wanna know."
"I don't think there's any other guy in Zagreb that's hotter than you." Ivan says, words muffled from where he started kissing on his cheek again. "Probably not another guy in the world."
"I disagree." Lovro says, making it a point to give him an obvious once over. "Are you just saying that to avoid the question?"
"If you really want to know, I thought he was hot the two times we made out. But he was a bit of an asshole too, and me and Sonja were already going back and forth so it wasn't a hard decision." Ivan says, incorporating in the bed to look at him better.
"What made Sonja more interesting?" Lovro asks after a moment of silence, remembering that conversation in the bench from what feels like a lifetime ago. “I mean.. you don’t have to answer that. I’m just curious.”
"It’s fine. I guess she just knew me better already. We've always had a special connection since we were kids. She was really funny, confident, smart, and most importantly she didn't take any of my shit at the time." Ivan says reminiscing. "I guess she still doesn't, but this was back when my diagnosis wasn't as clear and I was a fucking nightmare to deal with. She was already there and we could skip all the getting to know each other part. So yeah, it was more interesting to explore that to me at the time than to get into a new relationship."
"Did it stop being interesting?" Lovro asks. The more obvious question here would be how do I know i'm interesting enough for you and you won't get bored of me?. In a way he was the reason their relationship ended, so Lovro guesses it’s a valid question. "Did you get bored of it? What happened?"
Ivan huffs a laugh that signals Lovro that he's reading right through him. Of course Ivan understands what the real reason behind the question is. "I didn't get bored of it. I don't think relationships are just for fun, you know? We had a lot of fun together, but it was mostly because we were already friends. I don't think we've ever worked as boyfriend and girlfriend, mainly because we weren’t in the same page in a lot of ways.”
Lovro hadn’t intended for their playful conversation to turn into something more serious. Although it’s usually moments like this that help them reveal their deepest fears, secrets and lingering thoughts to each other. And Lovro is happy to take it all in, to continue gathering each detail that helps him understand the puzzle that is his boyfriend. And he truly enjoys listening to him talk almost as much as he enjoys getting kissed by him. So Lovro nods gently to encourage him to keep going, brushing his chin with the tip of his thumb.
“It also didn't help that I started with my stupid mental shit at the same time. Sometimes it felt like I was dating my psychiatrist just because she was all over me all the time ordering me around. I mean… I understand now that she was worried and she just wanted to take care of me. We were both dealing with something we didn’t understand.” Ivan says, eyes deep in thought focused on the pillow beside Lovro’s head.
“We obviously talked it all out and it's fine now and all in the past. But it did start to feel suffocating at some point. I just... I felt like I needed to take time to understand what the hell was going on with me before I could explain it to Sonja. But she also wanted to understand, and I couldn’t give her answers. So I guess I just got tired of it. I just wanted things to go back to normal.” Ivan says, and searches for Lovro’s eyes again. A small smile appearing on his lips. “And when I was in the process of accepting that nothing could be normal again, you showed up.”
Lovro smiles back at this, and keeps tracing his thumb over Ivan’s jaw in response. He doesn’t think he can form any words right now if he tried.
"And I was reminded of how exciting love can be. I kept seeing you everywhere, with your crazy colored hair, your cool clothes and your skateboard. God, that was already enough to make me obsessed with you. And then I got to know you, and I knew that there was no going back.” Ivan continues. He finds Lovro’s fingers on his face and guides them to his mouth for a kiss. “You were so shy around me, but still so open to whatever bullshit I came up with. I learned that I could be myself around you without being judged, whatever being myself meant. And then I started to hang out with you more, and found out you weren’t shy at all. You just needed a bit of time to break out of that shell you hid yourself in. I got to find out you’re really bold when you want to be, with the way you love to tease and play pranks on me.”
Lovro laughs under his breath at this and rolls his eyes. He can’t deny that he was shy around Ivan during their first encounters. And really, who wouldn’t be at the presence of probably the hottest guy in Zagreb, who also happens to be openly flirting with you? Lovro is lucky he was able to let some words out that night in his apartment. He doesn’t say this, but Ivan keeps smiling at him like he can read his mind. He presses another kiss to his fingers before continuing.
“And you’re so fun to be around, too. I know you’re happy to tag along to whatever plan your friends come up with if it means just being with them. You’re funny. You’re very street smart. You love to yap about your interests so much I know you could go for hours if there’s someone to listen. You’re so patient with me, and so stupidly kind sometimes it makes my heart ache because I know the world won’t be as kind to you.” Ivan says this while intertwining their fingers together. And Lovro really really really wants to kiss him right then.
“I'm not proud of the way I treated Sonja, I think I could’ve handled things a lot better than I did. But I can never regret what happened. I mean… you can't force a relationship that's not going anywhere. There was a time where I was in love with her, but it was never meant to last." Ivan says, and locks his eyes on Lovro again. He lets go of his fingers to hold onto his jaw, thumb tracing Lovro’s lower lip. “I’ve never felt this way with her before. Actually, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
“Ivan” Lovro whispers. Because he doesn’t know what else to say. As if Ivan’s words had trapped him in a trance that only his kiss could end, and he couldn’t fathom any other words until then. Lovro feels himself shiver when Ivan leans down to kiss near his lips, right beside his own thumb.
“Lovro” Ivan whispers back, lips dangerously close to his now. Taking the opportunity to leave small, barely there pecks everywhere but his mouth again. “Should I continue? ‘Cause I could go all night. I can tell you about how you inspire me so much you’re the reason I started to paint again.”
Lovro can only sigh in respose. Ivan, meanwhile, keeps going as if nothing in the world is more important to him than having Lovro like this, perfectly content with how thoroughly he’s managed to leave him speechless.
“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. I feel so lucky that I get to see them everyday. I know most people when they see you must be thinking wow look at this guy’s beautiful big blue eyes.” He continues, between kisses, and Lovro still fights the smile off his face at the sensation and Ivan’s words. Like he knows exactly how to get him to give in.
“But i’m the lucky one that gets to see them up close and appreciate the bit of yellow in the center.” Ivan continues, in that soft voice that seemed to only exist between them. Making Lovro’s eyes shut naturally at the tone and the feeling of Ivan’s soft kisses near his eyelids. “Or how they turn a bit green in the morning if you wear that one sweater.” A kiss under his left eye. “Or how they look deep ocean blue when you wear black.”
“And then there’s your moles that look so perfect on you it’s like someone painted them with so much care that made it impossible to replicate them in a painting, but I’ll be happy to spend the rest of my life trying.” Ivan says and stops kissing him to gently trace the moles with the tip of his fingers like he already did dozens of times before.
“And your freckles. I want to take you out in the sun all the time just to see them get darker in the right light.” Ivan continues, as if all his thoughts were pouring out of his brain without permission. All traces of joking pulled aside. “And your voice. I love how sometimes it changes depending of who you’re with, and I know you reserve the softest version for when you’re with me. I could listen to you narrate the entirety of One Piece if it means just hearing your voice.”
Lovro’s lets out a breathy laugh at that and lets himself smile, because what’s the point in hiding anymore? Lovro’s already lost in his own game because there’s no way he can survive the next five minutes without kissing the man pouring his heart out in front of him.
“Even if I wasn’t so in love with your voice, there’s that little spark in your eye you get when you talk about things you like, I’d still want to listen to you all day long just to see that.” Ivan says. And Lovro finally opens his eyes again, only to find Ivan’s beautiful dark brown eyes gazing into his soul. “It’s like you’re not even aware of how beautiful you are, and what you do to me.”
And Lovro can’t take it anymore. Because he’s so in love with this boy he finds it impossible to understand how he survived all those eighteen years without this feeling. He’s not good with words like Ivan is, but even if he was, his hands are already moving on their own accord pulling on Ivan’s collar to bring him closer. And all the self-control he mantained for the past thirty minutes is gone when his lips finally meet with Ivan’s in a long awaited kiss.
Ivan immediately melts into him at the same time he smiles against his lips, as if he’s been waiting for this exact reaction from Lovro. Lovro would be lying if he said he cared about losing their game, not if it means he gets to kiss his boyfriend until he forgets they were playing it in the first place. So that’s what he’s bound to do now.
Lovro wraps an arm around Ivan’s neck to bring him even closer, and uses the opposite hand to cup his cheek as his lips hungrily work their way into Ivan’s mouth. Lovro kisses him as if he’s greeting his long-distance boyfriend after a year apart, rather than the boyfriend he spent the entire day kissing. Ivan reacts with equal enthusiasm when he allows Lovro’s lips to draw his mouth open, matching Lovro’s pace.
In a way this half hour does feel like a year for Lovro, and probably Ivan as well. Because if there’s one thing that Lovro learned about himself in the three weeks that they’ve been together is that he really really really likes kissing Ivan. And every minute he’s not kissing him feels like wasted time.
Ivan's hand clings to the back of Lovro's neck against the pillow, drawing him closer as their lips move urgently against each other. The kiss is intense and consuming, a perfect display of the feelings they’re no longer able to control. As their breaths mix quickly, Lovro’s fingers dig softly into Ivan’s hair, desperate to feel every part of him.
Lovro would change a lot of things about his past journey to get here if he could. Starting with the bit where he hurt Eva for being incredibly stupid about his crush on Jakov. And that other time he used Ema to deny everything he deep down knew was true about himself. But the one thing he wouldn’t change about his past, was his determination to kiss every girl that was willing to kiss him. Because if he weren’t for them he wouldn’t know how good it actually feels to be kissed by someone who you actually want to kiss.
He wonders if kissing Ivan for the first time would’ve felt as earth-shattering as it did if he didn’t have a margin of comparison as bad as his previous kisses. It’s not that they were bad kisses, the technical aspects were still similar, but nothing he felt before could compare to the feeling of Ivan’s mouth on his. Nothing could compare to the realness of kissing Ivan, and getting kissed by him. Because no one ever kissed him like Ivan did, as if he was determined to make Lovro forget every previous kiss he’s ever had with a touch of his lips.
If someone were to ask him, Lovro would say he succeeded because he’d be lucky to even remember his name right at that moment. Every single thought in his head being entirely overshadowed by the sensation of Ivan’s tongue teasing the roof his mouth, or his teeth gently catching on his lower lip when he pulls away, only to immediately start again.
They kiss for what feels like hours, though in reality it could only be minutes. Lovro feels almost intoxicated by the sensation of his own lips brushing the coarse texture of Ivan’s stubble, something that he could’ve never felt with a girl before, and that drove him particularly insane. This feeling of masculinity mixed with the weight of Ivan’s frame on top of him, as his own hands explore Ivan’s shoulder blades like they already did dozens of times before, as if trying to memorize them with the palm of his hands. Ivan’s weight pressing warmly against Lovro, burying him into the mattress as if shielding him from the rest of the world, all while his fingers are back to tracing invisible lines in Lovro’s stomach under his shirt, kiss deepening with this quiet familiar rhythm.
It’s far too soon when they have to break apart for air, and Lovro takes the opportunity to finally kiss whatever part of Ivan he can reach. Breathing be damned. As soon as Ivan’s mouth moves to catch his breath, Lovro follows after him as if he holds all the oxygen he needs right now.
“Lov…ro. Wa..it.. Baby, I need to breathe” Ivan chuckles against his mouth.
“Fuck breathing” Lovro answers, mouth stuck to Ivan’s neck. “Kiss me.”
“Oh so now it’s kiss me, right?” Ivan says. “Where was this energy ten minutes ago when you were torturing me?”
“Yeah, yeah you won.” Lovro says, as he moves to swtich positions again, pinning Ivan to the mattress with a newly found strenght powered by this overwhelming need to kiss him.
“So all it took was me complimenting you to get you like this?” Ivan asks smugly. “Is this what I need to do from now on?”
“How do you know I didn’t kiss you to shut you up?” Lovro asks, gently nibbling on the edge of Ivan’s jaw and he laughs under his breath. It’s now Lovro’s turn to kiss every part of him he can reach, having held back all this time too. He takes his precious time going from open-mouthed kisses on his neck, to light pecks on his cheeks and nose, only to claim his mouth again. They continue kissing like this for a long while. Lips pressing languidly against each other, slow and familiar.
Lovro doesn’t know what time it is when they finally break apart, probably hours later. They’re lying face to face next to each other in Lovro’s tiny bed, both sharing small touches and gently caressing the other. The need to touch still present after all those hours, and days really. They’re both fighting sleep, as if going to sleep would break the moment they just shared and make it disappear.
“I’m sorry I’m not good with words like you.” Lovro whispers, only loud enough for Ivan to hear. His fingers gently grazing Ivan’s short. He can’t see his reaction under the covers in the dark room, but he hears his breath catching next to him.
“You don’t have to be.” Ivan says, matching Lovro’s tone. Then he feels Ivan’s fingers squeezing his hip in assurance.
“But I’d like to. You told me all those nice things, and I couldn’t say anything back.” Lovro says, suddenly overcome with emotion, and the pure love he feels for the man in front of him. There’s a thousand things he wants to say to him, but he settles in the most important one. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone either.”
“You don’t have to say anything back. I know you show me how you feel in other ways”. Ivan says, moving closer to press a soft kiss on his forehead. The hand that was on his hip now rubbing circles on his back.
“I’ll show you everyday.” Lovro whispers as he moves closer to Ivan. He wraps his arms around him to bury his face on his neck, A deep sigh slips out of him the moment Ivan’s arms circle back around him, holding him just as tightly.
“Okay.” Ivan whispers back. The hands rubbing his back slowly lulling him to sleep.
“You still have to make me pancakes tomorrow.” Lovro whispers against his neck. He smiles as soon as he feels Ivan’s chest shaking with silent laughter.
“Right.” Ivan says.
“And we’ll eat them while we watch One Piece.” Lovro says, rubbing his nose against his boyfriend’s neck. “You’ll have to watch 1155 episodes, but we can skip some filler ones that aren’t really important.”
“Can’t we just watch the live action on Netflix?” Ivan asks after a sigh.
“I will kick you out of this bed.” Lovro says around a yawn, and holds him closer instead.
“Go to sleep, Lovro.” Ivan laughs again before pressing a last kiss to his cheek. And Lovro finally listens to him.