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Chapter Text

Lloyd awoke to sharp, burning pricks of pain all over his body.

He yelped, throwing his threadbare blanket off of him and thrashing around in his bunk. Panic overwhelmed his foggy, sleep-ridden mind. Whatever was happening to him was burning his skin inside and out. And he could feel things crawling everywhere.

He began to scream, throwing himself off his bed and running around like a panicked chicken. Tears pooled in his eyes as he screamed and screamed, clawing at his clothes and skin. It was pitch black in the room, and he couldn’t see anything, but he could feel it. It was like a thousand little pinpricks repeatedly stabbing him over and over and over again.

“Shit!” Lloyd heard a voice say to themselves in the room, before a light was thrown on, blinding the small boy and nearly making him slam into a wall. A hand grabbed his shirt and began pulling him roughly. Between his cries of pain and being blindly dragged by someone he couldn’t see, Lloyd couldn't tell where he was,

Then he was shoved against the cool tile, and freezing water began spraying down on him from above. “Take off your clothes!” A panicked voice hissed to him.

Lloyd quickly realized he had been shoved into a shower, the curtain drawn closed for privacy, but there was a person behind it. Lloyd didn’t think twice before practically ripping his shirt and pants off, only to see dozens, maybe hundreds, of little red ants crawling across his now red-bitten skin. Lloyd began hyperventilating. He shrieked, frantically scrubbing the ants off of him, which only caused them to bite his hands in response. He took advantage of the cold water flowing down on him by dousing the ants section by section.

It took a long time, but after some additional help from a nearby bottle of body wash, Lloyd was throwing his soaked clothes onto the remaining ants on the floor and shoving them towards the drain. When he was sure all the ants were either drowned or in the drain, Lloyd reached up—as far as he could with his short stature—and angled the showerhead at the drain to make absolutely positive that the ants wouldn’t be able to come back up. At least long enough for him to get the heck outta there.

He was breathing heavily, tears mixing with the droplets of water dripping from his soaked hair. As he stared at the drain, his adrenaline began to wear off, and the blistering pain only doubled. Lloyd couldn’t stop the shivering that wracked his small frame as he wailed, sliding against the wall. His body was unresponsive to his brain, which kept shouting PANIC PANIC PANIC over and over again. Lloyd had never been afraid of bugs before. In fact, he loved creepy crawlies. That is, if he were the one to pick them up of his own volition.

Now, Lloyd couldn’t stop seeing ants. Ants on his skin and on the walls, crawling towards him and enveloping him whole. Biting and tearing him apart, burning him, overtaking him completely. Lloyd was immobilized on the tiled floor of the shower, his muscles so tense they were like wood. It was so dark in the shower that he still couldn't see the source of his full-body discomfort, and he started clawing at his arms and legs and torso, trying to scrape the feeling away.

Lloyd heard frantic footsteps return, making him pause in fear, not realizing the figure from before had left.

“Are—are you okay?” The voice asked. Lloyd could see the figure’s silhouette behind the shower curtain. It wasn’t an adult…which meant he was a classmate. First master, Lloyd had humiliated himself in front of a classmate.

No, no, no, no, nononono.

Lloyd tried to muffle his sobs with his hands, but the echoing of the shower room made it impossible to hide any sort of sound.

Great, Lloyd thought, horror seizing him. As if I needed more of a target on my back.

“Please stop crying,” the mysterious voice, to Lloyd’s surprise, sounded panicked. “Um, here, I brought you new clothes. And a towel. I’m leaving them here, okay?”

Lloyd’s mind whirled. Between the pain, the shock of the sudden cold shower, and the fact that he was asleep just a few minutes ago and not nearly as awake as he needed to be to comprehend what the heck just happened, Lloyd’s brain felt like it was starting to shut down. He was finding it harder to keep his eyes open by the second.

After placing the objects down on the floor, the person left wordlessly, leaving Lloyd alone in the freezing cold shower, shivering and crying. At some point, Lloyd must have had a moment of lucidity, because the next moment he could remember, he was exiting the shower room on wobbly legs and running straight into the janitor at the door. Lloyd can only imagine what he looked like to the grouchy middle-aged woman. Tiny frame, pajamas a size or two too big for him, sopping wet hair…he was sure he was shaking like a leaf, though he couldn’t feel it over the full body burning. And—was it starting to itch?

The janitor asked Lloyd a few questions, though Lloyd had no idea if he ever answered them, let alone heard them. He just wanted to curl up into a ball and fall asleep forever. Eventually, he was led to the nurses’, where the only nurse at Darkleys Boarding School for Bad Boys had grabbed him by the shoulder and urgently led him to a bed with a string of disbelieving curses under her breath.

“Those damn kids…” she murmured. “So fucking cruel. Little shits.”

The nurse gave him pain medication and layered several cold compresses onto his arms, legs, neck, face…everywhere. In the light of the office, Lloyd could see that the aftermath of the ants was bad. Red bumps covered every surface of his skin like chicken pox. The bumps began to itch horrendously, but the nurse scolded him every time he cried to scratch them. He frowned, frustrated beyond belief. He had never been so uncomfortable in his life. Apparently, the bumps had a chance of turning into blisters in a few days…meaning Lloyd was simply the most hated kid in the universe.

An hour or so had passed in the office, and Lloyd was exhausted. After applying cold compresses to every square inch of his body possible, the nurse applied some type of cream that didn’t smell the best to all the red bumps she could see. It helped with the itching. She handed him the tube of cream and gave him a blanket. “You’re sleeping here tonight.” She said. “No school for you tomorrow.”

The next twelve hours passed in a blur. Lloyd slept fitfully, every movement resulting in a spike of pain or an unbearable itch. By the nurse’s demands, Lloyd didn’t go to any of his classes. He slept when he could, which was on and off throughout the day. Lloyd worried about what his teachers would say when they found out what happened. He dreaded facing any of his classmates and having them see what happened. He cried a few times that day, embarrassed, sore, and afraid of what would happen when he was cleared to return to school. Everyone would find out what happened, and then he would be the number one target for bullying. That’s just how it worked there. His life was completely over.

In the late morning, after another round of compresses and cream, Lloyd was sent on his way. According to the nurse, he was assigned to a different room now. Something about his last one having a…bug infestation.

He walked quickly through the hallway, weaving around students who took notice of him and began to taunt and tease him. Several older kids were laughing at him, which prompted him to race to his new room, opening and slamming the door behind him. Lloyd sniffed, wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Hey…”

Lloyd jumped and whipped his head up towards the top bunk. A boy was sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring down at Lloyd with an unreadable expression. Lloyd tensed. It was his roommate, Brad Tudabone.

Brad was a year or two older than him. Normally, boys were paired up with others their age, but this year, the roommate Lloyd was supposed to have was pulled from the school abruptly, and the only other option available was Brad. Brad was a ruthless prankster who could weaponize any prank against his enemies or unsuspecting teachers. Lloyd heard that he used to be a target of bullying before he got revenge on all his bullies at the same time. Apparently it was so legendary that they never bullied him again, and a lot of students took inspiration from the boy’s genius planning. Challenging Brad guaranteed that you would be his next target.

Knowing this, Lloyd tried to avoid him when he could. Though he supposed that was just as much of a mistake as challenging him.

“So…” Brad rubbed his hands in his lap. The boy was normally confident and carried himself with dignity. Right now, Lloyd noticed, he seemed more meek than usual. “I may have overestimated the number of ants I needed, huh?” He grinned sheepishly.

Lloyd gaped at him. “That was—that whole thing—YOU DID THAT?” Lloyd shrieked in horror.

Brad winced, which Lloyd wasn’t really expecting as a response. “Yeahhh,” he picked at his cuticles, looking slightly off to the side. “It was a miscalculation, I really should have used far fewer…because, well,” he gestured to Lloyd, and the blonde felt his face flare in embarrassment.

Lloyd balled up his fists and stared down at the ground. Tears threatened to spill yet again, and in that moment, Lloyd wished the ground would swallow him whole and put him out of his impending misery and doom.

He heard Brad laugh. “You’re so tiny. Seriously, you’re swimming in those pajamas. They’re the smallest pair I own, too!”

Lloyd kept his gaze on the floor, trying with all his might to keep the tears from falling. Crying was a sign of weakness, and Lloyd was already at the bottom of the barrel. He couldn’t possibly stoop any lower!

His father would be so disappointed in him if he knew.

The idea upset him, but then his thoughts pivoted. Something clicked in Lloyd’s mind, distracting him momentarily. Lloyd looked up from the floor ever so slightly.

“What?” He cursed to himself over how small and wimpy his voice sounded.

Brad caught it either way. “Hm?”

Lloyd found himself looking back up at Brad. “These are your clothes?”

Brad blinked. “Well—I mean, I couldn’t find any of yours, so I grabbed a pair of mine. I can’t believe they’re that big on you. Seriously, are you sure you aren’t, like, five years old?”

Lloyd pursed his lips. “I’m seven.”

“Baby,” Brad smirked.

Lloyd was about to retort, but he stopped himself, remembering what Brad had said. “Were you the one who gave these to me last night?”

The boy’s smirk faltered. “That—no, of course not. I was too busy laughing at you. That was a hilarious performance!”

Lloyd chose not to point out the downturn twitch of Brad’s lips, or the crease that his eyebrow gave as he crossed his arms and grinned down at Lloyd.

Does he…feel bad?

Even so, Lloyd felt anger rise within him.

“Why would you do that?” Lloyd nearly shouted, catching Brad off guard for only a moment.

“Duh, because you’re a runt.”

“A…what?”

Brad rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Wow, you really don’t know anything. You’re the runt of the litter. The small, weak one that everyone steps on. Why do you think you’re such a heavy target for everyone?”

Lloyd was acutely aware of the itchiness of his bites returning.

“I…am going to get you back.” Lloyd bore his fanged teeth, attempting to growl at the older boy, just like his father (probably) would.

“Yes!” Brad suddenly jumped up, startling Lloyd right out of his intimidation. (Which would have totally worked, by the way.) “That’s the attitude you need to have!”

“...huh?”

“Revenge!” Brad said cheerfully. He clambered down the ladder and towered over Lloyd with a wide grin. Lloyd noted Brad’s teeth were crooked and several were missing. This was the first time Brad had gotten so close to Lloyd. He could make out the finer details of his face. Unlike Lloyd, Brad didn’t have a single freckle on his face or arms. Just plain, tan skin accompanied by a black bowl cut and brown eyes with a burst of blue in the center. “When someone wrongs you, you have to get them back! Or else they will never leave you alone.”

Brad, with surprising gentleness, laid his arm across Lloyd’s shoulders (which only burned a little bit) and pulled the smaller boy into his side. “Lloyd Garmadon, it’s time for your first lesson in The Art of Revenge!”

“The Art of Revenge?” Lloyd echoed. “Like…on you?”

“What? No, I’m doing you a favor.” Brad waved him off. “Trust me, when I’m through with you, you’ll be rising up the ranks in no time. You’ll be a warlord befitting of an army!”

Lloyd bit his lip. That…did sound enticing. But was Brad only making fun of him again? Was this just a ploy to torture and humiliate him again?

“How can I trust you?” Lloyd glared up at him, hoping he looked intimidating. (With his itchy dot-covered face, he highly doubted it.)

Brad seemed to falter for a moment before moving away from Lloyd and opening his closet. He rifled through the hanging clothes, filtering through his options, before he took a hoodie off one of the hangers and tossed it at Lloyd. “Here.”

Lloyd barely caught the hoodie. He held it up to inspect the front. It was a plain black hoodie with a single green five in the corner. Lloyd gave Brad a questioning look.

“First lesson in The Art of Revenge,” Brad held up his finger and pointed at Lloyd. “Is to lose colorful clothing. A true evil mastermind only wears black with colored accents. You look more intimidating that way. Plus, you can blend into the shadows around you. Completely undetected.” He struck a pose that Lloyd could only assume was mimicking a stealthy ninja.

Lloyd examined the hoodie once more. It would be slightly oversized but…

Well, he hardly had any clothes to his name aside from his uniform, so it worked. Though it needed something more. Maybe he could paint something on it. Like…a ribcage! That was cool and intimidating, right?

“This…shall suffice.” He said in the most warlord-y tone he could. If he was going to climb up the ranks, as Brad said, then he needed to stop acting like a little kid and start thinking like an overlord.

“That’s the spirit!” Brad walked over to him and ruffled his hair. Lloyd squeaked, batting the older boy’s hands away.

“Okay,” Brad turned his full attention to the blond. “The second lesson in The Art of Revenge is…”

Lloyd Garmadon was one of the most famous people in Ninjago.

Over the years, Lloyd has been described as having a lot of grit and perseverance. To be fair, all of the ninja did. The horrors and eventual triumphs they experienced were enough to make a person want to retire at twenty. Still, Lloyd pressed on, as they all did. Ninjago was never truly safe from danger, and Lloyd needed to be well-trained and ready for anything.

Occasionally, though, Lloyd would hit a wall. And suddenly, being the Green Ninja was the last thing he wanted. Even though Lloyd loved being the Green Ninja, fighting bad guys and saving lives, Lloyd has had his moments of wanting to be anyone else.

He felt it when he had to fulfill the Green Ninja prophecy and defeat his father, he felt it when he was possessed by Morro, he felt it when Harumi manipulated him and turned his entire life upside down, and he felt it when he went into his Oni form when fighting the Crystal Council.

None of those events occurred without consequences.

Unfortunately, his transformation wasn’t a one-time thing. In fact, it permanently changed him. Lloyd shivered every time he looked in the mirror and saw a sliver of that monstrous form he took after believing his walking corpse of a father had been killed. His appearance was ever-so-different, in a way that only Lloyd himself would notice. Sometimes, small parts of his Oni form would pop out without him noticing. His teeth sharpened abnormally when he got annoyed, his eyes would flicker violet for a millisecond when he was angry, and sometimes he saw purple whisps among his green power during the intensity of a battle.

He never brought it up to his family. When he did slip—a sharp claw here, a purple eye there—they never came to Lloyd and addressed it, concerned that he was turning evil…or whatever. So it was safe to assume his family did not know. He wanted to keep it that way.

He also never told Brad about it, and the man never seemed to notice a difference either.

Though that didn't matter anyway, because Lloyd hadn’t seen or talked to Brad in two months. And at this rate, they were definitely broken up. So why should Lloyd care?

He did care, though.

He cared so, so much.

He’s heard some people say—though, not to him specifically—“You were only dating for a year. That’s not that long.” It felt long, though. And he cared far too much about it to just “get over it,” as some internet basement dwellers would advise.

Lloyd was on social media way more than usual these days.

Usually when he was upset, he would thrust himself into nonstop training. Exercise was good for the mind and body, and it served as a good distraction. Plus, he was keeping his skills sharpened for when he needed them. And initially, he did train a lot. And it was seriously a lot. He’d actually managed to out-endurance everyone but Zane. (Darn his lovable nindroid-ness.)

Recently though…he’d hit a wall. Suddenly, he didn’t have the motivation to train or socialize or go out on patrols. He would wake up tired and have a hard time getting himself out of bed. Food became less appetizing. Hobbies he loved were no longer enjoyable. Lloyd started spending more time on his phone than ever before, scrolling for hours on end.

And Lloyd seemed to be in a constant state of wallowing as well, especially as he lay slouched on his bed—with a posture that he was sure would personally insult Wu—watching sad romcom movies while vegging out on bags of chips and dark chocolate, which pretty much made up his daily food intake now.

He was wearing a worn gray hoodie that he hadn’t changed out of in two days, crumbs collecting on his chest like he was trying to feed an ant colony.

Ants. Lloyd shivered. He hated ants.

When the movie scenes would get visibly dark, Lloyd could see his pathetic reflection in his computer screen, and more than once, he saw his eye color shine a prominent violet before he would forcefully change them back to green. He seemed to be losing control over his oni form when he wasn’t paying attention, which was a big issue he wasn’t sure how to fix.

And as if the universe didn’t already hate him, the movie he was watching had a supporting love interest who suffered from amnesia at some point in the story and lost his memory of his partner.

For some reason, Lloyd couldn't bring himself to turn the stupid movie off.

“I wouldn’t leave you for anything,” the amnesiac man said to his partner. “I may not be able to remember you, but I know I love you. And I want to remember you so I can love you in confidence.”

The woman began to tear up. “Oh, Nathan, I love you too. And I’ll be right by your side this whole time.”

Lloyd scoffed, stuffing a chip in his mouth. “Wow, that sounds familiar,” he murmured bitterly.

“Emily, mi amor, I won’t let my memory affect our relationship.” The man said.

“Liar,” Lloyd hissed, kicking his computer off his lap and reaching up to close out of the movie. The description looked stupid anyway. I don’t know what I was expecting, he thought as he scrolled through the website to find a movie he knew he could mindlessly watch and distract himself.

There was this constant weighted feeling that seemed to drag him behind everyone else, like he was underwater and fighting a strong current while others glided past him in current-free waters.

In the dark screen of the computer, Lloyd could see his eyes had turned purple again, and he closed his computer with a growl.

This streaming service has shitty options anyway. He didn’t bother to brush the crumbs off of himself as he reached over to his bedside table and grabbed one of his Starfarer comics. He was barely ten pages in before he gave up on that too, and tossed it back onto the table. He decided just to bury himself in his blankets and scroll on his phone, watching stupid videos that turned his brain to mush. Well, mushier.

At some point, there was a knock at his door. Lloyd gave a halfhearted “yea” in response. The person cracked the door open.

“Lloyd.”

Lloyd jumped upright, accidentally throwing his phone across his bed. He stared at Master Wu, who was eyeing his room with an unreadable expression. Lloyd was suddenly aware of his filthy clothes, untamable bed hair, and prominent eye bags. He was sure his room was a complete mess, too.

Wu, upon inspecting him, sighed and closed the door behind him. Lloyd didn’t realize how dark his room was until Wu opened the door. Wu didn’t speak. He only walked across Lloyd’s room to throw open his curtains. Lloyd hissed at the light that burned his eyes.

“You missed training. Again.” Wu said sternly, looking out the window.

Lloyd shrank in on himself. That was the second time he had missed training this week. Both he and Master Wu knew he had zero excuses. “I’m sorry, Sensei.”

Wu sighed again, turning to walk towards Lloyd’s bed. He sat down on the edge of the blankets, where Lloyd’s phone happened to be. Wu picked it up, inspecting the screen. “Did you charge your phone last night?” The old man asked.

“Um,” Lloyd swallowed. “Yes.”

“Hm,” he hummed. “And yet your phone is at twenty percent?”

“I…guess so?”

“Lloyd,” Wu’s sternness never faltered. “How long have you been using your phone today?”

Dang it, Lloyd thought. I should have known this was a trap.

Being a ninja for as long as he was, Lloyd knew how to act. He was good at keeping up appearances, and he was even better at flying by the seat of his pants when he needed to. He also knew that when Wu asked a question, it was in your best interests to answer it. This time, however, Lloyd had nothing to say. He stared at his lap, trying not to cringe at the silence.

“Lloyd,”

He begrudgingly looked up.

“My dear nephew,” he said gently. “What is going on with you?”

Lloyd picked at his nails. “I…” he tried, but the words weren’t coming to mind. “I don’t know.”

Wu smoothed out his robes, thinking. “I have been absent lately,” Wu said. His voice was softer than ever. “More distant. You and the others are so grown up and independent, I forget to check in on you all. It is a bad habit, one I am continuously trying to work on, but I admit I was so distracted that the ninja had to come to me and tell me they were concerned for your well-being.”

“They did?” Lloyd’s eyes widened. A stubborn part of him felt blindsided and slightly betrayed. Why did none of the ninja come to him before going to Wu? Why did they have to get Wu involved? Lloyd was fine! He was just taking some time for himself. Resting. That was it!

Wu nodded. “They claim you were pushing yourself in training for several weeks, and then all of a sudden you stopped. Nya and P.I.X.A.L. claimed they hadn’t seen you like this since Emperor Garmadon…”

Lloyd grit his teeth, suddenly feeling done with this conversation. “I’m fine. I’m just resting. Something I almost never get to do, by the way.”

Lloyd regretted the words as soon as he said them. Wu’s expression widened in surprise at Lloyd’s attitude, and Lloyd scrambled to fix what he had just done.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, guilt weighing on his words. “I didn’t mean that. I’ll get up and go make up the training I missed. I’m sorry, Sensei.” He bowed his head in respect before moving to stand.

“Lloyd,”

The blond froze at his Uncle’s tone. It wasn’t angry, it wasn’t pitying…it was concerning? Lloyd saw Wu beckon him to sit on the edge of the bed with him. Lloyd wordlessly obeyed, leaving distance between him and Wu as he sat down.

“I am sorry for not being available lately,” the old man said. “I want you to know that you can come to me about things that are bothering you, always.”

“I know,” Lloyd mumbled.

Wu spared him a glance. “Relationships can be difficult. And it can feel like losing a part of ourselves when our loved ones leave our lives, whether temporarily or permanently.”

Lloyd nodded, eyes focused on a knot in his wooden floor.

“Though Brad is not gone.” Wu continued. “He is still here, working in Ninjago City. Why is it that you are keeping yourself away from him?”

“He doesn’t want me in his life,” Lloyd said bitterly. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Lloyd withheld from scoffing. “He said so himself. He’s also ghosted me on every social media account he has. I’ve reached out several times. Radio silence.” Lloyd bit his lip, his sharp fangs digging into the soft flesh. He felt his power thrumming through his veins in response to his rising anger, but he stuffed the feeling down. His negative emotions were becoming more dangerous every day. He could feel his oni side threatening to consume him.

Not today, asshole.

“My dear nephew,” Wu placed a warm hand on Lloyd’s shoulder, the feeling easing him back into a state of content. “Pain manifests in many ways, as do shame and grief. There is always a reason behind a person’s thoughts and actions. You and Brad have found yourselves in a unique situation. Enough time has passed.”

The man looked at Lloyd earnestly. “It is time for you to build yourself back up. A ninja does not quit, they persevere. I know what you are capable of. You are strong, nephew. Allow your family to help you in times of need. We all love and care about you very dearly.”

Lloyd pursed his lips, rubbing his arm for comfort. “What should I do?”

“Maybe start with a shower,” Wu patted his shoulder with a lighthearted smile. “Then you can join me for a walk in the garden.”

Lloyd nodded. “Okay…”

Wu stood, casting one last smile at Lloyd before exiting the room. Lloyd sat in the silence for a while, thinking about the last year and a half over and over again.

Maybe it was the change in mood, or the sunlight filtering through the window, but Lloyd suddenly felt stuffy. He walked to the window and cracked it open, breathing in the crisp spring air. It was beautiful out. The trees were green, the birds had returned and were singing together, and the sky was wonderfully blue. Lloyd found himself itching to go on a hike, but his tired mind fought the idea with temptations of curling up in bed…

And unfortunately, he found himself thinking about Brad again.

He set his jaw. It was funny, wasn’t it? His first crush was a girl who manipulated him and used him in an attempt to destroy his life, his family’s lives, and Ninjago in one fell swoop. His second crush, and first relationship, the guy gets amnesia and breaks up with him over it. Even after everything they had been through. Despite all the history they had together.

Lloyd frowned, turning away from the window. He had to meet Wu by the garden, and he had to shower before that. Yes, a shower sounded great.

As he stripped the days-old clothes off his body and stepped into the lukewarm water, Lloyd’s mind began to wander.

Maybe he would go on that hike after all, just to get his mind off of everything.

After all, maybe Lloyd was just destined to be alone.