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That fucking test.
It wasn't a surprise. The professor had announced it weeks in advance, circling the date on the calendar with red ink Mary could still see burned into her retinas every time she blinked. She'd studied like crazy, flashcards spread across her desk, highlighters dying in the service of annotation.
But some of those questions slipped through her mental fingers anyway, sliding away like water no matter how tightly she tried to hold on. Entire sections she blanked on, the paragraphs blurring into meaningless symbols while the clock on the wall ticked louder than should have been legally allowed.
And as she walked out of the classroom she’d heard some bitch behind her say, "Oh my god, that was so easy. I didn't even study."
Mary's jaw tightened so hard she thought she might crack a molar.
She knows it's a lie. People like that just say things like that to make themselves look better, to construct an illusion of effortless genius while they secretly ground themselves into dust behind closed doors.
Unless they were Riri. Riri, who was unnaturally perfect at everything. Even when she was a cat, she was perfect. Her fur was always the softest. Her purrs the loudest. Her green eyes holding depths that made Mary forget what she was supposed to be doing in the first place.
Maybe if her girlfriend wasn't so distracting, she would have done better.
She sighs, the sound heavy in the quiet of Riri's dorm room. The afternoon light slants through the blinds, painting golden bars across the floor. Dust motes drift lazily in the sunbeams, oblivious to the crisis unfolding at the desk.
No. She cannot put the blame on Riri when she's actively in Riri's dorm right now, surrounded by the familiar scent of her.
Mary looks at her notes again. She tries to remember the questions on the exam, reconstructing them from the fragments that survived the mental carnage.
Maybe if she calculates a rough score, she'll feel better.
Maybe she can ask for a retake.
Make an excuse that she was extremely sick at the time. Stomach bug. Migraine. Sudden onset of temporary blindness caused by the sheer terror of academic failure.
Do extra credit. Something, anything, to make up for the clear, undeniable, soul-crushing failure that awaits her when those grades post.
She pours over the textbooks and her notes, her pen scratching frantic calculations in the margins. The numbers blur. She does them again. They blur differently. She doesn't hear the quiet click of the door opening, doesn't register the soft footsteps, doesn't notice when they stop.
What she notices is the small, warm weight that suddenly lands on her desk.
A black cat sits there and regards Mary with those enormous unblinking green eyes.
Then the cat curls up, tucking those white paws under her body, and settles directly onto Mary's notes like a fur-covered paperweight.
Mary doesn't give in. "Riri."
Riri’s tail gives a single, lazy flick. Otherwise, she does not move.
Mary tries gently pushing her, hands sinking into impossibly soft fur. Riri flops over immediately, exposing her stomach, all four socks-up paws waving slightly in the air. She stares up at Mary upside-down, those green eyes somehow even larger from this angle.
"You are distracting me. Move."
Mary slides the notebook out from under her with careful precision.
A victory.
She places it on a spot clear from her girlfriend and reaches for her pen.
Riri waits. Watches. And the second the notebook touches the desk, she's there again, having relocated with the supernatural speed cats possess specifically to annoy humans. She curls up, unmistakably smug.
Mary squints. "You're doing this on purpose."
Riri blinks slowly up at her.
"Seriously." Mary's voice cracks on the word, exhaustion bleeding through. "I need to study. I need to figure out if I failed. I need to—"
She tries opening a textbook. A white paw reaches out lightning-fast and bats at her pen, sending it skittering across the desk. Then comes a series of insistent meows, pitched with concern.
Mary stares at the pen. Then at her cat girlfriend. Then at the pen again.
"You are unbelievable."
She leans back in the chair, the wood creaking under her weight. Defeat sits heavy in her chest.
Riri moves immediately. She flows off the desk and lands in Mary's lap with a soft thump, circling twice before curling up. Her purr starts automatically, a deep rumble that vibrates against Mary's thighs.
Mary huffs. Her hand, traitor that it is, lifts automatically and starts petting the soft fur. The motion is muscle memory at this point, etched into her nervous system after months of this exact scenario playing out in variations. Her fingers find the spot behind Riri's ears that makes the purring spike. The spot behind her jaw that makes her lean into the touch. The base of her tail that makes her back leg kick slightly in involuntary bliss.
Silence fills the room except for the soft rumbling purr. The afternoon light shifts, the bars on the floor lengthening.
Mary starts talking without meaning to.
"I hate that feeling," she mutters.
The cat's ears twitch, rotating toward Mary's voice like satellite dishes.
"That moment when the paper hits your desk and you realize you're not as smart as you thought you were." Her hand keeps moving through the fur. "When you're sitting there staring at questions you should know and your brain is just static. White noise. Nothing."
An indignant mrow? comes from her lap. Riri's head lifts, those eyes fixing on Mary's face with an intensity that borders on accusatory. She clearly disagrees with the premise.
Mary's fingers scratch under the cat's chin, nails gentle against the soft fur. Riri's eyes half-close. The purring gets louder, shaking her entire small body.
Mary sighs again, deeper this time. "If I lose my scholarship, I'm actually screwed." Her voice drops. "My life will be ruined. I'll have to move back home. My mom will have that look on her face and I'll be working retail forever."
The cat lifts its head and gently bumps Mary's wrist with her forehead.
Mary keeps talking, the words spilling out now, unstoppable. "You're lucky. You could just permanently become a cat. No exams. No future hanging by your GPA." She scratches behind Riri's ear. "Just naps in the sun and knocking things off tables."
The cat lightly nips her finger. Not hard enough to hurt. Never hard enough to hurt.
Mary snorts. "Okay, sorry."
After a few minutes, Riri stretches, extending first her front paws (toes splayed, claws briefly visible) then her back legs, digging gently into Mary's thighs. She gives herself a little shake, then jumps back onto the desk.
A second later and her girlfriend is sitting there again in human form, perched directly on top of the notebook.
Mary squints at her. "You're still sitting on my notes."
Riri blinks slowly at her.
Mary gestures to the notebook under her. "Move."
Riri tilts her head slightly. "No."
Mary stares. "Riri."
Riri leans in, bringing her face close to Mary's like they're about to kiss—close enough that Mary can see the individual lashes framing those green eyes, can feel the warmth of her breath—and then lightly bumps her forehead against Mary's instead.
Mary's brain short-circuits for a second. Her hand lifts to her own forehead, touching the spot where Riri's made contact.
Riri slides off the desk and lays down on her side of the bed. The invitation is clear.
Mary joins her instantly, laying on her side, propping her head on one hand so she can look at Riri properly.
"Even as a human, you are such a cat."
Riri looks at her, puzzled.
"Headbutt instead of kissing me." Mary explains.
Riri considers this. "That can be rectified." She starts to lean in again, her gaze dropping to Mary's lips.
Mary puts a hand on her shoulder, stopping the movement. "No. That's too much of a distraction." She's not wrong. One kiss and she'll forget about the test entirely, about everything except her girlfriend.
So Riri headbutts her arm instead.
Mary laughs despite herself. "You’re so weird."
"It's emotional support." Riri's voice is perfectly serious.
"Your emotional support is as weird as you are."
"It got you to take a break though."
Mary narrowed her eyes. "That was your masterplan, huh?"
Riri nods. "You won't lose your scholarship from one test."
Mary huffed.
"But what if it sets off a chain reaction of failures?" Mary's voice drops, the vulnerability leaking through despite her best efforts to contain it.
"What if this is the first domino? What if I can't recover, can't pull it back together, can't—" She stops, swallows. "I don't think I can recover from rock bottom again. Last time nearly killed me. I spent weeks digging myself out, and I'm still not sure I made it all the way."
Riri shifts closer, closing the small distance between them. Her hand finds Mary's, fingers threading together.
"You are the most driven person I know." Riri said softly. "It won't be like that time. You have me. You have Ryan and Yumeko, who will literally fight anyone who looks at you wrong. You even have Kira."
Mary scoffed, the sound slightly catching in her throat. "Like Kira will ever help me."
"She really does admire you." Riri's thumb traces slow circles on the back of Mary's hand. "We all do." She pauses, gathering words. "You work harder than anyone I've ever met. You don't give up, even when things are awful. I know your future, our future, is in safe hands because I completely trust in your ability to succeed.”
Mary is quiet for a long moment.
"Can you change into your cat form?" Mary's voice is small.
Riri doesn't ask why. She just does.
Mary reaches for her, gathering the warm bundle of fur into her arms. The purr starts immediately. The sound Riri only makes when she's in Mary's arms, when they're alone together.
She starts crying into Riri's fur.
It's easier this way. Easier to cry when it's not in front of a human face, when she doesn't have to see her own reflection in someone else's eyes. Easier to just think of Riri providing the comfort of a normal pet cat instead of grappling with the complicated emotions that come from crying in front of your girlfriend. Showing yourself to be weak to her.
Riri lets her cry. Doesn't move beyond a slight adjustment to get more comfortable. Just purrs and breathes and exists.
Finally, the sobs fade to sniffles. Mary's face is pressed into the fur, her breathing evening out. The tension drains from her muscles in increments, leaving her heavy and loose against the mattress.
She feels a small, rough tongue on her cheek.
Mary pulls back slightly, blinking through swollen eyes. Riri looks back at her, head tilted, one white paw reaching up to touch her face gently.
"Did you just lick my tears?"
She gets a meow, meow, meow, in response.
Mary hugs Riri closer. "Weirdo."