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Kabru stood in front of the mirror with his hands on his hips and critically examined his own reflection. There were still a few minutes before he had to leave, which gave him ample time to make sure that there was nothing stuck between his teeth or under his fingernails, that no zits or pimples had appeared on his face since he last checked, that his hair looked immaculate and he didn't accidentally put his shirt on inside out (it had never happened before, but the possibility still had to be accounted for, just in case). Satisfied with his examination, he patted his pockets to make sure that he had his keys and wallet. He didn't really need anything else. It was time to go.
Living in the basement of a bar had very few perks. One of them was that it was near-impossible for him to be late to a meeting, and he never had to worry that there wouldn't be available seats, even on the busiest days. Once he was out of his room, he only needed to go up one flight of stairs to arrive at the bar and say a word to the manager to get a table for the exclusive use of him and his guests. Other perks included... well, having his own room at all. His bedroom wasn't much bigger than the average storage closet, and that was more or less how Kabru thought of it. Not so much a place to live, but rather a place to store his belongings while his life happened somewhere very, very far away. There was just enough room here for a bed, a desk, a dresser drawer and a small bookshelf, with very little space to navigate between them – Kabru regularly woke up with bruises all over his body from bumping into furniture on his way to his bed the night before. Kabru's room also had a bathroom adjacent to it, with a shower head mounted into the wall, a toilet that had a tendency to clog up for seemingly no reason about once every two weeks, and a sink with a mirror above it (no matter how many times Kabru cleaned it, it would inevitably get dirty by the next time he used it). He didn't have a kitchen, or anything resembling it, but that wasn't much of a problem. If he ever got hungry, he could just always head upstairs and grab something from the bar.
Kabru checked his phone as he sat down at the table. Laios hadn't responded to his last message, which presumably meant that he was already on his way and didn't feel like responding, or, which seemed equally possible, that he neglected to bring his phone with him. Laios wasn't much of a texter, either way. Most of his responses consisted of two or three letters, those letters usually being simply: OK. Usually, this approach to communication may have bothered Kabru, but in this particular case, he was largely fine with it, mostly because he knew that the curtness of Laios' messages was caused by an aversion to using his phone keyboard rather than a lack of interest in the conversation. When they called on the phone or spoke in person, Laios was much more talkative, which was quite reassuring. He would probably do most of the talking tonight, too.
Hm... Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to check in with him, though, if only to let him know that Kabru was already there and had claimed a table for the two of them, and perhaps direct him towards the right table so that he wouldn't have to have to spend too much time looking for it. That sounded like a pretty good idea. However, there was another part of Kabru, a more mischievous side of his psyche, that found the idea of watching Laios struggle to locate him in the dimly-lit bar while Kabru could see him clearly the entire time rather amusing. It had the potential to be a really interesting experiment, too. How long would it take Laios to spot Kabru? Would he resort to calling out his name, or perhaps even calling him on the phone to ask where he was sitting? How would he react to seeing him? Would he be relieved? Irritated? Kabru idly tapped his fingers on the back of his phone as he considered the possibilities, all the while watching the entrance like a hawk.
Just when Kabru made up his mind to call Laios, the man himself came through the door, looking somewhat disoriented. Kabru watched his every move from his corner, squeezing the phone in his hand. Laios stepped out of the doorway so as to avoid being hit in case anybody came in after him, and proceeded to take off his scarf and stuff it in his pocket, all the while scanning the room with a cautious, anxious gaze, squinting slightly. Kabru held his breath, motionless and stiff in his seat, preparing to meet his gaze. As soon as Laios' eyes met Kabru's, his expression visibly changed. A look of relief passed through his face, followed by a wide smile and a cheerful twinkle in his eye. Kabru returned the smile, raising his hand to signal that he, too, had recognised him.
Without taking his eyes off Kabru even for a moment, Laios made his way towards the table, miraculously avoiding a collision with another table along the way. Kabru couldn't help but notice that he had a rather peculiar way of walking. Usually, due to his slouching posture, he gave the impression that his body was being dragged forward by the head, leaving him constantly on the verge of stumbling over his own feet as they tried to catch up. Sometimes, however, particularly when he was excited, there was a spring in his step, a certain lightness to his movements, quite unexpected for such a large man. It would not be inaccurate that Laios frolicked towards Kabru's table, his arms swinging by his sides as he bounced on his feet, barely touching the ground.
Trying not to laugh at the charming display, Kabru got up from his seat with a friendly smile on his face and his hand preemptively outstretched for a handshake. Laios approached him with his arms spread wide, as if expecting a hug. For a moment, neither of them knew how to proceed, looking at each other in confusion. Finally, Kabru settled for something between a handshake and a hug, taking one of Laios' hands in his and awkwardly patting his back with the other. Laios leaned into his touch and gave his hand a gentle squeeze that sent a pleasant shiver up Kabru's spine. With the awkward greeting out of the way, they finally sat down opposite each other.
“Hey!” Laios said, sounding a little out of breath as he removed his backpack and put it between his feet under the table . “Until I saw you, I wasn't sure if I had the right place. I don't think I've ever been here before,” he went on, looking curiously around the room as he unbuttoned his jacket, “it seems pretty nice, though.” Kabru quietly helped him remove his jacket. Laios acknowledged him with a grateful nod. He rolled the jacket into a ball and placed it behind his back. “You saved me a seat again, huh?” he remarked suddenly, glancing up at Kabru. “One day I'll pay you back, I swear.”
Kabru let out a carefree laugh, dismissively waving his hand. “Don't worry about it!” he insisted, lightly shaking his head, as he made a mental note to manufacture a situation where Laios could be on the scene before him next time. At this point, he got to know him well enough to recognise that it was likely a real concern in his mind – that he owed Kabru and hadn't had an opportunity to make it up to him yet. Well, one could always present itself naturally, but if it didn't, Kabru would make sure to create it himself. “Let's order something, shall we? What are you having?” he prompted.
“Ah, uh,” Laios stammered awkwardly, scratching behind his ear. “Well... usually I just get beer with a bit of juice, or maybe apple cider, or something,” he explained nervously, “but I thought this time I could try whatever you're having, so I was gonna wait for you to order first...”
That's funny, Kabru thought to himself, I was planning to do the same thing. “Oh, that's fine, then. How about we look through the menu for something that suits both of us, and we try it together? My treat! I have a special discount here,” he added quickly, just in case. He was familiar with most of the drinks on the menu, having tried them during his many outings over the years, and he certainly had favourites amongst them, but more than anything, he was curious to see what Laios would choose if he was not restrained by the costs. Would he still go for the safe, cheap choice, or would he allow himself to be a little more adventurous?
“Oh, cool. You come here often, then?” Laios asked, picking up a menu.
“You could say that,” Kabru murmured under his breath, an image of the room in the basement flashing in his mind. Then he added, a little louder: “Yes, I come here quite often. What about you? You said that you've never been here before, but you go out drinking from time to time, yes?”
“Ah, yeah. Not very often, though,” Laios said, crinkling his eyebrows. “I don't like drinking by myself, and I don't get a lot of opportunities to go out with people. Sometimes I go drinking with Marcille and Falin, but that's only for like, birthdays and New Year's and stuff like that. I also went out with Shuro once or twice, but we haven't really gone out together since Falin moved out. He's so busy all the time...” He sighed. “So, this is the first time I've gone out in a pretty long time.”
“I see,” Kabru said softly, sending him a sympathetic smile. No wonder he seemed so excited when Kabru suggested it. Another mental note: invite Laios drinking as often as possible. Actually, why should he limit himself to alcohol? Surely there must have been other places that they could go together. So far, the only thing Kabru knew about him was that he liked animals, but that alone was a useful piece of information. Working from there, he could probe him about his opinions on cinema, music and literature, amongst other things. “Well, let's make the most of it, then, shall we?”
While they waited for their drinks to arrive, Kabru shamelessly studied Laios' face and upper body. It was clear that he put a lot of effort into his appearance for the occasion. His face was freshly shaven – so freshly, indeed, that Kabru spotted a bit of soap on his chin, along with a small patch of hair that he must have missed in his rush. His hair, while not exactly brushed (Kabru suspected that Laios didn't own a brush, or at least it had been a long time since he last used it), was noticeably less messy than usual, though a couple of cowlicks remained sticking out at the very top of his head, refusing to be tamed. Instead of the usual T-shirt with a washed-out logo, he was wearing a red flannel shirt, with the top two buttons popped to reveal his Adam's apple and clavicles. All in all, Kabru thought, nodding approvingly to himself, Laios looked very presentable. He made another mental note to sneak a compliment or two into the conversation.
Once the drinks arrived, the two of them had a quick toast. “To a new friendship!” Kabru offered cheerfully, raising his glass. Laios opened his mouth and then closed it again without saying anything, batting his eyelashes. For a moment, it seemed like he was about to cry, but instead he silently nodded his head and bumped his glass against Kabru's, careful not to spill anything in the process. They each took a sip. Laios licked his lips, his eyes wide and twinkling, before downing the rest of the drink in one go. Kabru, meanwhile, leaned back in his seat with the glass in his hand. “So,” he prompted, looking at Laios curiously, “when we were at the cafe, you started telling me about some project of yours, yes? Your... fursona? I would like to hear more about it.”
Laios' face instantly lit up. “Ah, yeah! I was gonna tell you all about it, but then you had to go. I thought about doing it over the phone, but that wouldn't really work, since I wouldn't be able to show you what I'm talking about. I brought the sketchbook with me,” he said, reaching for his backpack, and suddenly paused, furrowing his brow. “Actually, it's so dark in here that you're not gonna see much anyway,” he added, looking up at the overhead light, his lips pursed. “That's kind of a bummer. But it's okay, it's better than nothing! I can probably just describe most of this stuff to you anyway. Everybody knows what a wolf looks like, after all,” he mused to himself, nodding. “If you don't understand something, just let me know!” he exclaimed, throwing up a thumbs-up, and launched into an enthusiastic, long-winded explanation almost immediately afterwards.
Caught off guard by the sudden shift, Kabru straightened up in his seat, blinking helpelessly. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Once Laios got going, his train of thought was almost impossible to stop or derail unless one were to literally tackle him to the ground, knocking him unconscious. Resigning himself to his fate, Kabru took a deep breath, took a sip of his drink, and leaned towards Laios, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand, fixing his gaze on his lips as they delivered an endless stream of information, delivered largely out of context and at a breakneck pace. Kabru submitted himself to the flow. It was the only way to survive.
Laios, as Kabru had learned previously, was a furry, a person interested in anthropomorphic animals. That information surprised him at the time, perhaps more than it reasonably should. In hindsight, it made perfect sense with everything else he knew about the man and his interests, the way his face lit up at the mention of anthropomorphism... All things considered, it wouldn't be much of a leap to assume that he was a furry. Perhaps the reason it caught him off guard as badly as it did was simply that he'd never expected to meet one of them in person. He was aware of the subculture around furries, of course, but only from the detached perspective of an outside observer, and not a particularly interested one, either. While he never went out of his way to look into that particular community, though, he'd borne witness to all manner of discussions around it, most of them rather unflattering. People overwhelmingly found it strange, even suspicious, to be interested in anthropomorphic animals to this degree, and they were quite open about their disdain.
That isn't to say that Kabru himself was necessarily prejudiced against furries. If anything, he was probably more sympathetic to than the average outsider tended to be. An anthropologist at heart, he couldn't help but draw a connection between the modern furry community and the depictions of anthropomorphic animals documented throughout history, as well as the many cultures that had a spiritual connection with the animals that were native to their land. As it turned out, the impulse to identify with animals was, ironically, quite human. That said, there were limits to how far one could stretch that connection. For one, historically speaking, anthropomorphism usually had a second dimension, a very particular purpose. Broadly speaking, humans used anthropomorphism as a means of relating to the world around them. In storytelling, it typically served as a symbolic depiction of the human condition through the association between animals and certain personality traits. Obviously, there was the spiritual aspect, too. With furries, however, it was quite difficult to pinpoint the purpose of depicting anthropomorphic animals, as it seemed to vary from person to person. One couldn't shake the impression, however, that there was a sexual aspect to it all, which was what troubled people the most about it. Besides, there was a sense of blurring of the lines between human and animal characteristics that was difficult to make sense of. Depicting oneself as an animal was one thing. Making that animal anthropomorphic on top of that was... confusing.
Well, perhaps he would understand it better after listening to Laios' explanation, though it would probably take more than one conversation for him to be able to make sense of it. Laios was certainly passionate about the topic, and very eager to talk about it. His speech was quite well-organised, suggesting that he prepared it in advance, but delivered at a pace that made it difficult to keep up with. Laios spoke fast, without pausing, as if he was afraid that if he so much as took a breath, the conversation would be over. He must not have had a lot of opportunities to talk to other people about his ideas. Considering the reputation furries had amongst the general populace, and Laios' lack of social skills, that would not be surprising. Kabru noticed that Laios' pupils were dilated and his cheeks flushed, indicating arousal. It seemed unlikely that he was only in it for sexual gratification – though, at least for now, it couldn't entirely be ruled out as a factor.
“By the way, Kabru,” Laios said, addressing him directly for the first time in a while, his tone shy but hopeful, “do you have a fursona? If not, I could help you design one...”
Kabru fluttered his eyelashes, sending Laios an apologetic smile. “Ah, I haven't gotten around to it. Your help would be greatly appreciated. To be honest, I'm not even sure where to start! I mean, is there a process I should follow?” he asked, offering a helpless shrug.
“Kind of, yeah. It depends on what you're after, you know?” Laios said seriously, stroking his chin. “Different people do things differently. I think some ways are better than others, but what works for me might not work for you.” He put up his index finger. “Some people just make their fursona their favourite animal. That's the easiest thing to do, because you don't really have to think hard about it, but that also makes it pretty boring, unless your favourite animal is something really unique. If you want to make it less boring, you can combine two or more of your favourites into a new species. It's pretty fun to figure out which traits to combine. The problem is that most people only consider the aesthetics, and not the functionality, so their ideas wouldn't work as an actual species of animal.” He put up a second finger. “If you want to more closely model your fursona after yourself, you can find something that has a body type similar to yours, or has a similar lifestyle, or lives in the same climate. There are lots of ways to go about it. The point is to find something that's compatible with your human self. This way is better than the other one, but you can do even better than that. You can,” he said, raising his ring finger, “find an animal you want to embody, study its behaviours, environment, diet, and everything else, and design your fursona based on that.”
“I see...” Kabru thoughtfully stroked his chin. Evidently, if he wanted Laios' approval, he had no choice but to go down the third route. Not that it made a difference, though. Kabru wasn't really an animal person, and wasn't particularly interested in having a fursona. If he was going to humour Laios by letting him design one for him, he might as well let him use his preferred design philosophy. That said, something about it didn't sound quite right, though at first he couldn't quite put his finger on it. “Wait, wait! I have a question. Are those things even relevant to an animal that's been anthropomorphised, and therefore acts in a more human-like way?”
“See, that's the thing!” Laios exclaimed triumphantly, pointing at him. Kabru gulped, his gaze fixed on the tip of his index finger. “That's totally not what this is all about! I can't blame you for thinking this way, though. Most people get it wrong, so I'm used to it,” he remarked, shaking his head as he let out a dejected sigh. Kabru's ears began to burn. Laios went on in a matter-of-fact tone. “Think about it. What's the point of embodying another creature if you're just going to act human? If you're going to do something like that, you should actually commit to it, you know? Otherwise, you might as well just put on a pair of cat ears and call it a day,” he scoffed. “It's kind of like being a werewolf, you know? Obviously, even in wolf form, it's still your consciousness in there, so you're gonna keep your personality and stuff, but everything else is different. Your perception will shift as your senses adjust to the new body, you will have different dietary needs, your sense of time will change, and obviously you won't be able to live amongst regular humans anymore, so you'll have to adjust to a totally new lifestyle, too. If you're not taking all of these things into consideration, then you're not really serious about your transformation.”
“Huh.” Kabru crinkled his eyebrows. Somehow, that really put things in perspective. Indeed, parts of Laios' speech sounded oddly familiar. Kabru certainly knew a thing or two about commitment to embodying a chosen role. “I understand. You've really thought this through, huh?”
“Well, yeah.” Laios seemed to have calmed down a little. “I've been thinking about it for a long time. I've always wished that I could transform for real, but since that's not possible, this is the next best thing, you know? Lately, I've been working on something,” he paused for a moment, eyeing Kabru cautiously. “I'm... making my first fursuit. It's got a lot of parts that you can swap around...” He stirred in his seat, visibly flustered. “If you came over sometime, I could show you.”
“Sure, I would love to,” Kabru said, sending him a sunny smile before he downed the rest of his drink. “When could I come over? Would tomorrow work for you?”
Laios stared at him, wide-eyed with awe, his mouth hanging agape. Kabru couldn't help thinking that he looked really, really cute. Finally he shook himself out of his daze, leaning towards Kabru in his seat. “Yeah, tomorrow works! It totally works!” he blurted out excitedly.