Chapter Text
"Hey Shane, take a look at this."
"Someone wrote an incredibly long fanfiction using the way I refer to the loon as the title."
"Wolfbird? Wow that sounds... interesting? What's it about?"
Ever since they started spending their first summer together after getting married at the cottage, Ilya had become completely addicted to AO3. He'd been using it as their bedtime reading for three nights straight, and if he found something interesting he'd share it—Shane wasn't surprised.
"Oh, the summary here says that I'm a sex worker, a professional Dom, and you're still the NHL hockey golden boy," Ilya raised an eyebrow mischievously at Shane.
"Really? That's kind of hot, but I'd miss competing with you, playing hockey together."
"Me too, Мой любимый, but that's why I like reading these fictional stories fans create for us—no matter what identities we have, we end up together in the end. It's all fake, but it's cute and imaginative," Ilya leaned down to give Shane a gentle kiss.
"Alright, if you come across any interesting plots, let me know."
"Of course I will."
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"So it starts with you walking into a bar called 'wolfbird' to relax, and then you're captivated by my sexy figure, and I use my perfect Dom skills to make sure you'll never forget me. Nice opening, I like it, but no! I only charge $400 an hour? Can you believe that?! No! that's way too cheap, $4000 wouldn't even be enough, and there'd be ten thousand people lining up behind you waiting."
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"Oh this is so cute~ you got hard during a commercial shoot just from thinking about my commands, you think about us having sex when you masturbate, just like you always do, so needy~ You can't even wait to text me to schedule our next meeting, you'll never be able to leave me, you'll only belong to me."
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"This part is a bit heavy, I don't like it. Apparently I used to be a hockey player too, but I got injured—my knee, really bad. Shane, I couldn't play hockey anymore, but I still managed to escape Russia, living in a rundown apartment, trying to figure out my permanent residency visa... Even though Svetlana is there too, it's still pretty awful."
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"We had super hot phone sex! And I finally went to your penthouse apartment to see you, remember? Just like the first time I came to your apartment through the back door. In the fanfic, you're still adorably boring—you have a whole wall of movie videotapes. After we're done, you give me a pretty generous tip, and even secretly slip me one of your Rolex watches. My sweet Shane."
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"Obviously we're completely in love with each other by now, why can't she just have you keep me in your beautiful perfect apartment? We have sex, we get together, the end, happy ending. Who is this author? Opal? She's already written 150,000 words and we're STILL not together! This is so stupid!"
"Ilya, you shouldn't say that. This is their fanfiction. You've been a bit too obsessed with it these past few days."
"Maybe, but I love you too much. We should get married in every parallel universe. I can't accept a world where I can't touch you freely."
"You don't have to. I'm right here."
Ilya smiled, rolling over to press his full weight against Shane, burying his face in the crook of his husband's neck, deeply inhaling the gentle scent that belonged only to Shane. He licked Shane's Adam's apple, causing him to tremble slightly.
The fanfiction might be terrible, but at least tonight they could try out the hot sex described in it.
−−−−−−
It was 3 AM now. They had experienced perfect sex and were sleeping soundly—or at least that's how it should have been. Until Shane was awakened by an unnatural choking sound.
Ilya was sitting up against the headboard, the faint glow from his phone screen illuminating his face, revealing a glistening tear track.
"Hey hey... are you ok...... baby?"
Shane woke up completely, gently reaching out to wipe Ilya's cheek.
"What happened?"
"Just... the stupid wolfbird, it updated. I just wanted to take a look."
"......and?"
"This chapter writes that you invited me to go skating, just the two of us. My knee is still bad, and we almost got discovered... and then... then you got scared so you left. My knee completely gave out, and we couldn't see each other anymore. I sold the watch you gave me—she had me SELL the watch YOU GAVE TO ME..."
At this point, Ilya's chest heaved violently as he tried to suppress another wave of sobbing.
"omg..." Shane felt heartbroken seeing Ilya cry, yet couldn't help but be amused by his endearing reaction.
"Sweetheart, you know this is just a fictional fanfiction, right?"
"You don't understand, Shane. If I can't do my job anymore, how will I pay my rent? How will I stay in Canada? If I can't do what I'm good at, we can't see each other, and I just sold the only thing you left me...... I—"
"Ilya, calm down. That's not you, remember? This is just a fanfic. Yes, it's about us, but it's not real."
"I know, but that's still hurt. I just can't stop reading it."
"Aww come here." Shane extended his arm, gesturing for Ilya to lean in. He held his husband tightly, comforting him like a child.
Ilya's forehead pressed against Shane's chest as he began to finger the wedding ring hanging on his necklace. Shane simply stayed quietly with Ilya until his breathing steadied.
"Feeling a little better?"
"Better...... Now I'm thinking about creating a fake AO3 account. I'll leave Opal a comment, tell her how much she hurt my heart. She can't do this."
"No! Ilya, you can't do that!"
"Hmph, she said she updates every two weeks. We'll just have to see how her next chapter turns out."
"OMG, you are ridiculous. I should probably consider confiscating your phone."
"Yeah, you probably should..."
Now Ilya was smiling too. Though he would eventually admit it really was a pretty good fanfiction—painful, but still pretty good.
"I love you." Ilya looked up, meeting Shane's eyes directly.
"I love you too... let's go back to sleep."
They exchanged a kiss that tasted slightly of tears and fell asleep holding each other.