Work Text:
"Kamukura-san.."
The servant’s chain dragged across the ceramic floor, clacking with each step.
“What are you looking at?"
A pair of red, ominous eyes looked at the pathetic man in front of him.
"Looking at the complete mess that the Despair sisters made."
The vampiric gaze caught the light, casting sharp angles across the man’s peculiar face — a perfectly chiseled jaw, and lips so dangerously inviting the servant found himself aching to feel them against his own.
It was only natural for the Ultimate Hope. His gaze settled on the servant, lingering just long enough to unsettle him.
‘The Ultimate Hope was gazing at me.. ah, I could just die..!’
While admiring the view in front of him, Izuru grabbed the chain that was linked around Nagito's neck and pulled him close with it. Nagito's eyes opened wide and his slow reaction time caused him to fall.
"H-hehaha...! You could've at least told me beforehand..."
The man on the ground stared up at him, and something hot unfurled in his chest, spreading downward, slow and treacherous. His heartbeat quickened, each thud louder than the last.
"I’m bored, I-"
Hearing those words, Nagito immediately knew what to do. He raised his hands to unbuckle his belt, but Izuru pulled hard on Komenda's hair, away from him, causing him to grunt.
They locked eyes. Nagito’s face flamed, breath coming in quick, shallow bursts, eyes wide from the sudden pull. Across from him, Izuru’s brows furrowed, a soft sigh escaping his lips.
“Kamakura-san? What's wrong? Did I do something to make you have that expression?”
Izuru could only ignore his question and slowly patted the head of the servant in the area he had pulled.
“...That's not what I mean. Stand.” and so he did.
As soon as Nagito stood up, he stared at the eyes of the man he all so admired and hated.
“...I want to ask you something, something new.”
Izuru said with a curious voice, almost aggressive, while looking at the window outside. Nagito's head tilted to the side.
‘His demeanor changed. What happened? Did he use all of his ultimates at once and fry his brain?’
“Do you still believe in hope?”
The servant froze. Almost a decade since the last glimmer of hope has ever shown the face of the earth, but now the world has been overridden with despair.
It was like the star that had come to an end, but this time, the stow was all alone. Nagito, who has waited for another star to be born, but time after time, it seemed that he overestimated his luck and hope itself. It was like the end of everything for him, but he persisted. It's not like he could die, his luck cycle is keeping him alive.
“...Why are you asking?”
He locked eyes with him.
"I'm curious.. you used to keep talking about it, but now it seems like your passion for it has faded." Izuru tugged at Nagito's chain.
“Did you give up on hope?"
Nagito's eyes trembled. He seemed to have lost his train of thought. Izuru held his head high.
“It's been a while since I have analyzed you. Tons of things have changed in the past years. Still predictable, but it is a way to pass time, eitherway..."
Nagito stopped in his tracks to answer Izuru. His voice was shaky.
"I..simply just changed my view on hope! Is all…"
His cold, trembling hands of the servant grasp the cheek of his beloved. It was warm. So warm that it feels shameful to touch. He doesn’t deserve to touch him, but he can’t help himself.
"You.”
Izuru already concluded that, but he wished to hear another story.
"Me, Why?"
Nagito giggled nervously. "Because you're the Ultimate Hope afterall!"
Just as he was about to let go of his face, Izuru grabbed it before he could even make contact with his sides. He felt the grip on his wrist get tighter, demanding more from him.
“...Do you really want another reason?”
Nagito clasped the hand that he treasured so dearly.
"You reminded me of someone, before."
Before? Izuru tried to make sense of what he said, but all he got was a migraine. A migraine so bad, he might’ve just let some old habits slip through.
"... Is that all?" Nagito chuckled, why was he so persistent? “Am I that interesting, Kamukura-san?”
Izuru smiled, which made Nagito caught off guard. ‘He? Smiling?!’
“If only you knew.” his eyes traveled outside.
Nagito's eyes shone bright. He...smiled, because of him. Him. He isn't useless after all. Maybe all hope isn't lost, maybe... He can live just longer.
Izuru subconsciously looked at Nagito , who was gazing outside the window, in his own world. He thought for a while, until Nagito sensed his gaze. “Kamukura-san?”
"Komeada-san, did you know that I like you? Interpret it as you want, but I hold fondness for you.”
What?
What did he just say? "Like... Me?"
Izuru nodded. Nagito couldn't wrap his head around this. Him? Why?
“You rekindle the hope inside of me. You gave me a new reason to live. After all, the world is just filth at this point. It’s simply…boring. Enoshima would agree.”
Another smile. Nagito could just explode.
"Hm? And here I thought you were neutral to everything.” Izuru glared at him, silencing Nagito.
“There was a man. You may know him. He said he longed for a hope that didn’t flicker. One that would shine even when everything else dimmed.”
The words caught the servant’s attention like a moth drawn to flame.
He opened his mouth and spoke “A statement of a man who had a special ability. This ability of his made him endure both sides of life. A man who endured both hardship and luxury…”
“A life so exciting yet predictable. He once wished for this ‘blessing’ to end, who clings to his idealistic thinking he has lived his whole life.” His gaze flickering at Nagito, whose breathing was erratic.
“He hoped for a miracle, just so he could be reassessed that maybe, hope would cure him."
Izuru said with a bit of emotion, almost feeling pity for the man who he laid his eyes on. Nagito’s eyes were shuddering.
"What you asked for was to be free; like a bird stuck in a cage.”
Silence filled the room as soon those words left Izuru’s mouth. Then, a cackling laugh erupted.
“What? I-..hahahahaha! W-wonderful observation, Ultimate Hope!” Nagito grinned widely, his hands clapping amidst the awkward tension. “It’s been years since a single spark of hope has shown in this wasteland. I don’t care anylonger!” Liar.
Izuru noticed the way Nagito’s eyes started to spiral. He could only sigh as this was inevitable. “All I care now is you, Izuru! I’m sorry, but you’re the only one who has ever shown compassion for someone like me! I-! I just..!”
His breathing hastily shortened, and tears started to prickle down his pale face. The man was oblivious of his own state, not even bothering to wipe his own tears. He was almost denying the fact that he’s crying. It’s probably because he never thought he would cry.
“Nagito.” He perked up as his name was mentioned. It was on a first-name basis. Nagito shuddered when he heard his name come from the man himself. Izuru's expression was unreadable, as usual. “Are you saying that you love me?” Despite knowing the answer himself, he still wanted to hear it from his lips. Almost like he yearned for it, but he didn’t. Must be the originals head, grinding his own brain in motion.
“Love? Well, if you consider admiration, Kamukura-san! I do confess that. But I do not plan to advance. I'm too afraid to throw away my only hope! I wouldn't want you looking at me weird! Well, if I'm honest, I don't mind it since I am trash afterall!”
When Nagito finished his speech, he noticed the slightly crooked eyebrows of Kamukura. “...do not plan? Who are you fooling, Nagito?” Izuru sighed (he lowk sighs a lot, help) and gently took the servant’s blemished hands.
“Did you forget? I cannot be affected by your bad luck.” He wiped off the tears in Nagito's face, and Nagito could feel his face get hot.
He uncharacteristically chuckled. Although light, Nagito was still perplexed by the display of affection Izuru was showing. His cheeks turned bright pink.
“Kamakura-san..?” Before he could process the situation, Izuru pulled Nagito's hand closer to his own face, placing a soft peck at the back of his hand.
“K-Kamakura-san?!” Izuru smiled warmly at Nagito. Why was that smile familiar…?
“W-Why are you acting weird today?! Did you hit your head?” He let go of his hand, and Nagito could still feel the warmth, lingering, like sunlight. His other hand brushed against the place where Izuru had kissed him, and he could feel the corner of his lips twitching.
“Let me remind you, Komeada-san. Like I said, I hold fondness for you. Do not ask me how. I, too, am perplexed.” Izuru's face has returned to its normal expression. One with solace, like a pristine doll.
“And don't act like we haven't done anything indecent.” His gaze lingered at Nagito's face, waiting for a reply to come out of him.
“...You wanted relief, and so I gave it to you.” Nagito subconsciously fidgets with his own fingers, feeling a rise of heat in his face. He remembered those nights where the distance between them would temporarily disappear, and only the feeling of heat and desire surfaced. Even though it was just for ‘experiential purposes’, Nagito would sometimes recall those memories and get himself worked up.
Izuru slowly closed the space between them, taking small steps to be in front of Nagito. “Don’t just think that you got lucky. How low do you think of yourself?” His hands slowly wrapped around his fragile body, and Nagito naturally tensed up.
“S-something is wrong with your head, Kamukura-san!” Izuru could only smirk from behind, and somehow, Nagito could sense that. It’s almost as if he knows why he’s acting odd. Of course he does, he’s the Ultimate of the Ultimates, afterall.
“Just enjoy what your luck has given you today.” His fingers started to comb his snow-white hair, feeling his scalp beneath his skin, and leaned in closer, his head resting on his shoulder. Nagito could only just stare in shock. Trying to not shake from nervousness and excitement.
They stay like this for a while, the sunset falling behind them, showering them in a warm glow by the sun. Nagito could feel his nerves starting to relax as Izuru fully leaned onto him. His heartbeat synchronized with his own, the calm and slow caress of Izuru made it feel nostalgic, but it's been a while since he felt her caress.
Did he recognize this move from somewhere?
“My head has been hurting, Komeada-san. I’ll go somewhere to rest. I assure you that after this, I won’t act strange, any longer.” His hands dropped down slowly, and Nagito nodded when hearing his words.
“Get better, Kamukura-san.” His eyes lingered on Izuru’s figure as his steps left a clear echo in the room. Then, those steps stopped.
“Won’t you follow me?” Izuru directed his gaze on Nagito. His eyes perked open when he heard those words.
“I don’t want to disturb you! I’ll wake you up when needed.” But the man simply shook his head. Nagito tilted his head. What does he want?
“Then, I order you to come with me.” And he turned his back, continuing his walk towards his designated room. The servant quickly processed those words and followed his beloved.
During their interaction, Nagito felt a pang of nostalgia along the way. Although faint, it's very much present. He could delve into this situation, but all of Nagito’s attention was in front of him.
He thanks his luck for what just happened, even though bad luck might backfire, he couldn’t care less. Kamukura-san is the Ultimate Hope, he can withstand anything. His heart started to flutter a very faint warmth. Not the one filled with lust, but the one filled with puppy-like love. He smiled innocently, feeling the weight of his shoulders easing. He could finally love without feeling guilty.
Hope may be gone, but at least he could feel love for the very first time.