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Kunikida never thought he would fall in love this young. He'd always assumed it would go as planned—following the script he'd created for himself. He'd meant to wait at least two more years before finding someone. A woman, no less. Still, he found that his chest clenched with something full of adoration. For…
Dazai.
Dazai and all his stupid jokes, flaunting about the Agency. Dazai smiling widely whenever Atsushi fell for his tricks, his wide grins at Kunikida's anger. His hair was soft and well kept despite everything, his eyes a gentle brown. Pretty, he was. So, so beautiful.
His hands fit into Kunikida's almost nervously, like he'd never been loved. Kunikida thought that it could be true. He wanted to treat Dazai like someone fragile, careful as he treaded around him, but Dazai pulled him in with no room to even try.
He said, "Is Kunikida-kun hesitating?"
Kunikida's brow furrowed and he huffed, clasping Dazai's hands close to his chest. They were tender and rough, thin with malnutrition. The bandages trailed down his arms, mapping out a path. He shook his head, moving as close as he dared to.
"Are you sure?" he asked, though to whom he wasn't sure. He wasn't even sure what he asked.
Was Dazai sure he could love him?
Dazai smiled another one of his dopey smiles, blinking owlishly up at him. God, he was so fucking pretty.
"I'm sure," he said with much certainty. Kunikida ached with so much love for this man.
He swallowed and ducked his head down, a flush rising in his cheeks. "I am a man, you understand? We both are…" And though he'd never denied such things from people—his parents hadn't raised him to be like that—there was a sense of need to have Dazai understand how significant such a thing was.
"I know," Dazai said regardless. His eyes crinkled with the way he grinned. He squeezed Kunikida's hands. "You forget I've never fit into societal expectations."
Kunikida nodded dumbly. Dazai rubbed a thumb over his skin, so comforting and gentle it bled tension from him.
"Can you say the same?" Dazai murmured then, and Kunikida looked up now, catching Dazai's gaze with his own.
He thought he could look at him for hours on end.
He thought he might be able to do anything.
For Dazai.
He squeezed his hands right back, bringing warmth into the cool winters of Dazai's fingers.
"Yes," he said, hushed. "I believe I— No, I can."
Dazai's face lit like the sun and he surged forward, hands pulling from Kunikida's grip to cup his cheeks, pulling him close. They were but a breath away, and this close, Kunikida's eyes fixated on Dazai's.
Millions of words flit through his mind. Millions more seemed to pass Dazai's eyes. Unspoken but loud in the same kind of understanding they always found.
"I'm going to kiss you," Dazai stated, all playful and teasing. "Is that okay with Kunikida-kun?"
Breathless despite the fact they hadn't yet kissed, Kunikida said, "It is."
Dazai kissed him all at once.
And, well—
Kunikida had never kissed someone before. His plans had been to wait. He wasn't rushed to kiss the way others around him were, growing up. But this…
He wondered if this was how everyone felt the first time they kissed.
But it wasn't even just the kiss, he thought. It was Dazai.
Dazai, Dazai, so much of him.
Dazai pulling him closer, his lips slotted as perfectly against Kunikida's as their hands had earlier. The way he tilted his head when their noses bumped, smile tangible where his mouth moved softly. He was so uncharacteristically sweet and it made Kunikida melt.
He loved Dazai unbearably so.
He said, embarrassed to speak of it, but wanting to say it nonetheless, "I love you."
Dazai pulled away, eyes wide as Kunikida watched him then.
"What?" he asked.
Kunikida averted his gaze, stammering all of a sudden. "Nothing. My apologies."
"No, what? Say it again, please. Doppo," Dazai said.
His name from Dazai's mouth sounded so much sweeter than Kunikida thought it ever could.
He repeated, face hot, "I love you."
He dragged his eyes back up to Dazai and was startled to find so much emotion in his face. He didn't think he'd ever seen Dazai like this before.
The thought that Dazai hadn't even tried to hide it made him ache so wonderfully.
"Fuck, you're amazing," Dazai choked out, smile quivering. He kissed him again just to distract Kunikida from his face, but Kunikida could feel it, still.
The trembling in his hands where they held Kunikida, the way he simply pressed his lips to Kunikida's, unmoving. Just feeling.
He spoke, muffled by their kiss, swallowed by Kunikida's breath, "I love you too."
Kunikida's heart stuttered in his chest and he moved back to gaze at Dazai, blinking at him. "You do?" he whispered.
"Yeah, I—" Dazai huffed and buried his face in the crook of Kunikida's neck, embarrassed now. "I do."
Kunikida smiled.
He thought it might hurt his face, but he wouldn't mind the ache. Couldn't mind it.
He kissed Dazai on the forehead this time, hands carding through his hair.
"Thank you, Dazai."
"What for?"
"Letting me love you."
Dazai peeked up, moving to press his cheek to Kunikida's. "Yeah? Well, thank you too."
"For?" Kunikida hummed.
"Letting me love you too."
Kunikida loved him so dearly.
"And for loving me," Dazai added.
"You don't have to thank me," Kunikida said. "I would love you regardless."
Dazai's smile grew flustered and he attacked Kunikida with a hug, pulling him down to the floor. "I love you so fucking much you idiot."
"I love you too."