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The Tardis rattled and shook, metal clanking as it flew across the console. The Doctor and the rest of the crew flying around the room, and hanging on to any object they could grab onto as they passed through the space turbulence. Random items flew above their heads, piles of papers that the Doctor was sorting through but never actually organising them, flung themselves across the room. The Doctor was trying to secure the Tardis and stabilise her, hopping around the metal floor, pressing buttons and trying not to lose her balance as her ship was losing control. She was never really good at getting the Tardis to listen to her. The machine always had a mind of its own. At times she would think that she should have stolen a different Tardis, maybe then it would have listened to her. But then again, it wouldn't be her Tardis, would it?
“Doctor! What is happening?!” Yaz shouted out, ducking as a scrap of metal flew above her head, missing her by an inch or two. Graham grabbed Ryan’s hand as his grip on the Tardis console gave, the machine swerving and rattling.
“I’m not sure, I need to take a look at the wiring, but I can’t get there right this second… I’ll add that to my list. I love lists! So handy and reliable!” the Doctor said, momentarily getting distracted by her train of thought.
“Doctor! How do we stop this?” Ryan yelled, trying to get the Doctor back on track, already used to the Doctor and her antics. His grip on Graham’s hand started to slip, as well as his own on the console.
“I’m tryi-” the Doctor started but didn't get to finish her sentence as she was thrown violently around, the Tardis stopping its ruckus, in a sharp stop, causing everyone on the ship to fall back. Her head hitting one of the beams of the Tardis. Was there always a beam there?
“Ow… everyone alright?” She asked, rubbing the side of her head where it hit the pillar. A ringing sound playing in her head. She opened her eyes, her vision a bit hazy.
“Yeah, I’m fine”
The Doctor froze in her place, she knew that voice…
Why did she know that voice? She couldn't think, her head was pounding from her injury. Think think think think…
“Doctor?” Yaz asked.
“Yes?” Two voices answered this time.
The Doctor looked around, stopping when she saw a man with a brown suit, converse and brown hair.
He glanced at her in a twin shocked expression as hers. Both of them laying on the floor, staring at each other in disbelief.
“What…” they both said at the same time, yanking out their sonic screwdrivers in unison, mimicking each other perfectly.
Just then, Yaz came around behind her and helped the Doctor up to her feet.
“Are you alright?” She asked her Doctor, giving the strange man on the floor a glance, and helping him up from the floor as well.
“Yeah I'm fine, I think… what is happening?” she asked in disbelief, looking at herself in the face.
“Well that would explain why the Tardis was unstable…” Both the Doctors said in unison, both still in shock, mirroring each other's expressions.
“So you're saying it was his fault? Who is this bloke?” Graham said, walking next to the Doctor.
“How are you here?” The Doctor asked her younger self, ignoring Graham’s questions.
“I should ask you the same question” they continued to stare at each other blankly.
“Can someone please explain what is going on?!” Ryan finally said.
“Um… fam, meet… me? I guess. Yeah that would be right” she said, receiving confused looks from her friends.
“What do you mean “you”?”
“Well…. That's me, well not me, but more like past me, which shouldn't be possible, but our Tardis's seemed to have merged” she started going off, as she usually did.
“Blimey! You weren't lying when you said you used to be a man!” Graham said, looking between the Doctors.
“As much as I love being the topic of discussion, oh and I quite do, let's figure out what is actually going on” The younger Doctor said, hopping around the ship, flicking switches and looking at the readings on the screens.
“Oi, hold on a minute! This is my Tardis! Don't go around flipping buttons and switches!” She said, getting back on her feet to join the younger Doctor.
“Yornkshire, thats new. When did you develop that accent? You've redecorated! I dont like it” He sneered.
“Oh oh you never do, do ya?!” She shot back.
“And we are a woman as well! That’s new! Does it suit me?” he asked the others.
“Thats the same thing that she asked me…when we first met” Yaz muttered under her breath.
“Bloody hell… it really is the Doc, ain't it?” Graham said, looking back at the two Doctors hopping around the console.
Suddenly the Tardis threw itself back again, sending everyone flying once more, landing herself somewhere random… or at least, they thought it was random.
“Doc, can you please get her under control?” Graham asked, losing his balance once more.
“Im trying-” Both Doctors yelled, the Tardis flickering between the interior of the current Tardis and the old one. She did miss the rustic, grungy look at times. Should she go back to it? She's sure she still has that old brown coat somewhere in the back of the Tardis wardrobe. Or that black leather jacket she was so fond of.
She ran up to the screen to check the coordinates, her younger self two steps behind her.
“Ah! Home-” the Doctor said, as he jumped around to head to the existing, the current Doctor staring at the screen with an expression of horror.
No.
No no no no no.
It can't be.
She can't go through this again.
She won't survive it.
She stared in disbelief as the Tardis doors opened, her younger self exiting them and walking about, probably to go find… her.
She felt sick to her stomach, her face turning paler than she already was.
“Doctor? Are you alright?” Yaz asked, coming up from behind her.
“Wha- oh yeah, I'm fine. Totally, yes. I'm always alright!” she stuttered out, her face completely ashened.
“Where are we exactly?” Yaz asked, her expression turning to worry at the Doctor’s reaction.
“And what did he mean by “home”?” Ryan asked.
Why were they asking so many questions? Did they always ask this many questions? She could hear her own heartbeats in her head. A lump in a throat that was forming by the second. She felt as if all the blood had left her body, drained out. Did it?
What should she do? What could she do? She needed to get out of here. But she couldn’t, not without her younger self. The Tardis was toying with her, playing some sick joke.
“Earth… 2006” she finally responded, her throat dry.
“Oh! That's not that bad!” Graham said, “at least we're on Earth and not some alien planet” he chuckled.
“Is this your way to get back at me?! Why would you do this? Some sort of cruel joke?!” The Doctor finally yelled out, pushing the screen away from her in anger. The ship didn't respond, she never did, did she? Always taking her to places that she wasn't supposed to go to.
“Doctor?”
“You stupid stupid ship! What is the meaning of this?!” She continued, not paying attention to the worry of her companions.
“Doctor!” Yaz yelled out, finally snapping the Doctor out of her spiral.
“What is going on? Tell us!”
“I.. we need to leave, we really need to go-” she heard footsteps approaching.
“Why in such a hurry? Can you please explain to us?! You never share anything with us, do you know how frustrating that is?! All you do is hop around places, never explaining anything and expect us to go along with you and, quite frankly, it's getting very old and on all of our nerves…and-” Yaz kept rambling on but the Doctor tuned her out. She couldn't hear anything, white noise clouding her hearing and she could hear her blood pumping through her veins. The steps that she heard, finally reaching the Tardis. Her breathing sped up as the two figures finally entered.
“Rose”
The only word that left her mouth, barely audible and choked out, as her sight zeroed in on the blonde figure entering the ship.
She didn't so much as see but heard the others turn to look at the two that entered. The silence was deafening, you could hear a pin drop.
The tears that were threatening to spill, finally caved, a few of them streaming down her face.
“Doctor?” The blonde said, a hint of scepticism could be traced in her voice, as she stared at the blonde women across from her.
The Doctor took a step forward, and then another one, and another, until she was face to face with her old companion.
Rose looked back at her Doctor and then back at the blonde woman standing in front of her.
“It's still bloody you… always having the same face expression” she chuckled, pulling the Doctor into a hug. The Doctor wrapped her arms around Rose, burying her face into her neck and inhaling the scent that she hadn't smelled for billions of years. She could feel the tears streaming down freely down her face now, dampening Rose's shirt.
Yaz, Ryan and Graham watched from afar, not quite understanding what was going on but keeping quiet to let them have their moment. Yaz locked eyes with the other Doctor, standing next to the two women.
In an odd way, she could also see her Doctor’s expression in his face as well. ‘I guess some things never change’ she thought to herself.
As the two blondes broke apart, reality came crashing back down.
Right.
The Tardis.
“Oh um, right. Fam, this is Rose. She and I we… travelled together” she said awkwardly. It was always awkward when her companions met eachother, not that they were meant to meet anyways.
She could hear them talking with one another, but the her hearts could still be heard in her ears. ‘Is this what the Master had been hearing all those years ago?’ She briefly wondered.
She made made eye contact with herself, a silent conversation happening between them, as they came to a conclusion.
“Right… well I'll sort out whatever is going on here with the Tardis. You three- help me why don't you?” The younger Doctor said, turning to the three individuals that were standing at the console. The three of them turning to look at their Doctor in confirmation, receiving a small nod from her.
The younger Doctor made his way to the console, opening up the metal floorboard and climbing down into it, moving around the wires. Whatever future him and Rose needed to discuss, it wasn't for his ears. Not yet.
He suppose the time will come for when it will be his turn to be on that end. In the meantime, he could busy himself with trying to get the Tardis to cooperate.
The two women sat side by side in a tucked away area of the Tardis, away from hearing ears. The Doctor felt it like old times, and yet, not quite. She rarely let her emotions get the best of her, at least, thats what she thinks of herself. If you asked other people… they would probably have a different answer.
“I…” the Doctor started, but she couldn't seem to find the right words. She had her person right next to her, and yet, her words failed her when she needed them most.
“How long has it been for you?” Rose asked, before the Doctor could try again to muster up words.
Too long, that was the answer really. She could feel the tears starting to form once more.
“Billions of years ,Rose… billions” she said, her voice cracking once more, the pain evident in her voice.
“I don't even know how old I am anymore. I am so so tired” she said.
“Doctor…” Rose continued to look at the Doctor, her heart melting at the sight of the woman. She brought her hand up to cup the Doctor’s face, wiping away the tears that stained her cheek.
“Rose, I…” she started but she finally broke down, crying freely now as Rose cradled her face.
“Oh, my Doctor” Rose cooed, embracing her once more. She rocked her gently, soothing the Doctor in her gentle embrace.
“So many years, and you are so different and yet, still the same. I still see you as the man in the leather jacket, and the man in the brown suit and converse. I see you as the man- well, woman- you are now” she said fondly, still caressing the Doctor’s cheek.
“I see you could afford the upgrade, a pretty upgrade I might add” she chuckled.
A high blush appeared on the Doctor’s cheeks, a small chuckle leaving her as well.
“I’ve never stopped thinking about you, you know… you are always with me, in here” the Doctor pointed to her hearts.
Rose looked into the Doctor’s eyes, searching for something, which she clearly found when a smile appeared on her face. She brought the Doctor’s face closer to her, memorising every freckle. She closed the distance between them, kissing the woman in front of her gently.
The Doctor held on to Rose like a life line, holding her face between her hands and letting herself… feel.
In the billions of years since she last saw this woman, she still remembered what her lips felt like. It felt like no time had passed and all the time had passed at the same time. So many things she wished she could tell her, and yet, she couldn't.
They broke apart as they heard the Tardis groaning, their foreheads resting against one another, breathing in the same air.
“I suppose that is our cue, yes?” Rose asked, still tasting the Doctor faintly on her lips.
“I was always rather quick with fixing things, weren't I?” the Doctor let out a sad chuckle, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.
Rose returned her sad smile, still cupping the Doctor’s cheek. She ran her thumb on the other woman's cheek bone, memorising what she could in this little pocket of time that the universe allowed them.
They heard the Tardis groan once more, signaling that they should really head back. Rose's hand slips from her cheek to hold the Doctor’s hand, grasping them and pulling her along. As they enter the console room, they are greeted once more with the others. Yaz stood by the Doctor, handing him bits and pieces as he finished up with the fix. ‘Always reliable that Yaz’ the Doctor thought to herself.
“Ah! Perfect timing!” The younger Doctor jumped up once he noticed them.
He was always the jumpy one, wasn't he? Hopping about in space and time, going around and saving and exploring- she supposed that she hasn't changed much, and yet, changed completely.
The Doctor ran about the console, flicking switches and buttons, “here, just this lever and our Tardis's should separate from one another” he said once he finished.
The Doctor made her way up to the console as well, standing next to herself.
“I don't suppose I will remember any of this, will I?” He asked her, already knowing the answer.
“No. But she will” the Doctor said, turning to look at Rose.
“Well then… that is probably for the best, lovely to meet you all. I'll see you in a few regenerations time” he said, looking at Yaz, Ryan and Graham.
“Will do Doc’” Graham said.
He pulled the lever down, the Tardis reacting immediately, shaking about and rumbling. Chaos ensued once more, things flying about as she dislodged herself from the other Tardis.
“Goodbye…my Doctor” Rose said as her Tardis separated and lodged itself into the air, flying herself into the stars above.
“Goodbye… my Rose” she said as they were flown away. The Tardis stabilised, flying away to its original set destination. The Doctor stood still, gazing at the spot where Rose once stood, her body unmoving.
“Doctor, are you okay?” Yaz asked, moving close beside her, looking at the Doctor’s expressionless face.
“Always” she said, bringing her hand to her hearts, clutching at her shirt.
“I am always okay” she said once more, this time… with a smile.