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“Grandmaster, what’s going on?” Jean asked, wondering if the scene before her was simply a hallucination from lack of sleep.
“Just giving a knight a promotion!” Varka replied chipperly.
“Stop trying to make me rejoin the knights,” Diluc growled.
As Varka tried to drag Diluc with him, Diluc was trying to wrestle out of his hold.
Varka’s armor was battered and covered in fresh scorch marks.
Varka’s hand held firmly onto the back of Diluc’s neck, almost like he was holding a kitten by it’s scruff.
“Don’t be so dramatic, you just took a few years off. I never approved your resignation,” Varka countered, still wrestling the younger man.
“Grandmaster, please tell me you didn’t accost Master Diluc,” Jean begged.
“He grabbed me on my way to Angel’s Share,” Diluc seethed, grabbing onto one of Varka’s gauntlets and applying pyro.
“I already informed Charles you’d be a bit late to your shift,” Varka dropped Diluc momentarily, but before the other could escape, he quickly tackled him.
Jean wondered if this incident would cause her hair to completely gray from stress.
Diluc started cussing Varka out, using language so colorful Jean momentarily hoped Klee had escaped Solitary Confinement and had made her way to Liyue, just so she would have not even a 1% chance of hearing this kind of language.
‘At least he isn’t using slurs he can’t reclaim,’ Jean thought.
“I have the perfect position for you, stop struggling!” Varka argued, wrestling Diluc’s hands above his head.
“Grandmaster, please let Master Diluc go,” Jean begged.
“Nope, not going to happen. As the Grandmaster of the Knights of Favonius, it’s my duty to keep all of the knights accounted for,” Varka argued, before Diluc slammed his head against Varka’s face.
“With all due respect Grandmaster, Sir Kaeya has already filled and handled Master Diluc’s position for years now,” Jean tried, hoping if she did damage control now Diluc wouldn’t irreparably damage the knights reputation and continued existence.
“And with no respect, I don’t want my old job back,” Diluc, who managed to twist himself enough to get his legs around Varka’s neck, said.
“That’s why I said he’s getting a promotion,” Varka choked out, hitting Diluc with his fist.
“For the last time, I am no longer a knigh-” Diluc was cut short by Varka’s foot hitting his jaw.
“Glad it’s the last time, I was getting tired of you saying that,” Varka panted “And you’re a Knight of Favonius until I say you aren’t. I will not let you become the Bloodstained Knight part two electro jiggalo, young man!”
Varka hurled himself on top of Diluc.
“Sir, please,” Jean pleased.
“I haven’t massacred anyone in years!” Diluc grit out. Jean decided to ignore what she just heard.
“Do you know what I found out? Some Fatui call you the Red Death Knight! Red. Death. Knight.” Varka grit out trying to grab onto Diluc’s arms.
“Sir, if we’re concerned about anyone going on a killing spree, I think we should focus our attention of Sir Lohan,” Jean reasoned.
“Lohan? What’s wrong with Lohan?” Varka asked, pinning Diluc down once more.
“Two of the four winds have filed complaints about him disturbing the peace!” Jean said, voice cracking slightly.
Varka tied Diluc’s hands behind his back.
“Lohan’s like a puppy, you just have to tire him out,” Varka grinned.
“I’m never going to be part of the Knights again, Varka,” Diluc bit out as Varka picked him up.
“There’s no ‘again’ since you’ve never left,” Varka countered, tossing Diluc over his shoulder and giving him a pat on the back. “Anyway Jean, make sure everyone knows our Dawn Knight is back in action!”
Jean stared as Diluc continued to argue with Varka all the way back to Varka’s office.
“I’m so glad Sir Diluc is back!”
“Right? I feel safer already,” Jean heard the two knights on either side of the library doors say.
Jean heard a loud crash, the woosh of flames, and decided it was time to take a day trip back to Vanessa’s tree.
Maybe when she got back none of what she just experienced would be happening. Or maybe she’d wake up soon and discover this was all one big stress dream.