Chapter Text
Regulus didn't know if he had ever been so anxious in his life. He was at the threshold to the Potter family home, bag clutched tightly in his hands. He had been planning at just staying at Hogwarts over break, but James had somehow found out and refused to let it happen. That same boy stood behind him, waiting patiently. He had a pretty good idea that this was a nerve-wracking experience for him. Gully, the house elf, took his bags to James' room ( at his own request), leaving him with nothing to hold onto. So he tugged on his coat sleeve. James seemed to notice this, placing his hand lightly on Regulus' shoulder.
"Reg. Hey. Want to wait outside for a while? Remus told me it was probably going to snow soon so we could watch the snow fall." James' voice was if someone threw honey and sunshine into a cauldron. Regulus still hadn't gotten used to having such a sweet voice being spoken to him.
Regulus looked up to James, golden hazel eyes staring down at him. His own cold gray ones stared back. He thought about it for a second. Maybe it would be nice to stay outside. Regulus naturally ran cold, so it wasn't like he was going to freeze to death or something.
"No. It's fine. We can go inside. Wouldn't want you freezing your fingers off, would we?" Regulus quipped and moved forward, finally into the house.
He stared for a while. This was nothing like Grimmauld Place. The complete opposite. The fire cast a warm glow over everything. Sirius had already made himself comfortable in the kitchen, talking to a middle-aged woman who he assumed was James' mother. A similarly aged man sat on a plush couch in the living room, book in hand. The woman paused her cooking, handing the spoon off to Sirius and giving him a look of 'don't burn anything young man' and quickly strode over to James and Regulus. She pulled her son in, holding him tightly.
"Hi, mum. It's good to see you again." James hugged her back. Regulus could see the resemblance. Same warm tan skin, same eyes, the same inviting smile. All the things Regulus managed to fall in love with.
"Is this the friend you've been writing to me and your father about?" She looked to Regulus, excited to meet a boy her son seemed to care so much about.
James laughed, nodding. He released his mother and returned to Regulus' side. "Close. This is my boyfriend. As of a few days ago." James put his hands on Regulus' shoulders, squeezing lightly to hopefully calm him. "Regulus, this is my mother, Euphemia."
Euphemia clasped her hand together. She grabbed Regulus' upper arm, pulling him into a similar hug to the one James had gotten earlier. Regulus' face flushed red with embarrassment. He looked back to James, shooting him a pointed glare. He stepped back from the hug, unsure what to do. He was going to hold his hand out in an offer for a handshake, but Euphemia had other plans.
"Fleamont, get in here! Come meet James' new frie- boyfriend!"
James cheeks went a little pink now too. Strangely enough, he hadn't been expecting his mother to call his father in for this. Sirius was now also spying on this. He had acted like James had needed his blessing to date his baby brother.
The middle-aged man from the couch set his book aside and approached Regulus, looking him over. He stuck his hand out. "It's nice to finally meet the boy that's the subject of all our son's letters."
Regulus' whole face went red and James flushed even more. "Not all the letters, just the majority..." James mumbled under his breath.
Regulus held his own had out and shook Fleamont's. They released each other's hands and Fleamont returned to his seat on the couch and opened his book back up. Euphemia gave the boys another quick smile and moved back to the kitchen, resuming her conversation with Sirius. Leaving James and Regulus on their own. They stood and stared in awkward silence for a bit. Then Regulus felt a hand slide into his own and he was suddenly being led up the stairs followed by Euphemia's distant call of "Keep the door open halfway boys!", which only further seemed to embarrass the pair.
Finally managing to retreat into James' room, they both let out a sigh of relief. Then James laughed. He looked over to Regulus. He smiled back at the brown-haired boy. He started pulling off his jacket, but fumbled with the buttons. Which pulled more laughter from James, but he quickly moved to help him. They were in a much more comfortable silence than earlier.
Regulus caught James' wrist, pausing his process. "Why did you lie to your mother, James? We've been together since the end of October."
James stared down at his wrist. He moved his free hand to rest over Regulus'. "I didn't send any letter to them saying we were together when we first did. I guess I was just caught up in the fact I've got the most incredible man in the whole wizarding world all to myself."
Regulus scoffed and rolled his eyes. He was far from the most incredible man in the wizarding world. He was hardly a man anyways. He started spacing out when James continued unbutton his coat. He didn't even realize the coat was off now. He only came back to his senses when James pulled him into a tight hug. But loose enough he could step away if he really wanted. But that was frankly the last thing he wished to do as of now. Regulus let his hands move up to fist James' shirt at his chest. James didn't speak. Shutting up James without a spell of some kind was nearly impossible, but all Regulus had to do was exist and James would be quiet if needed. His hands ran up and down his back, doing his best to be soothing. It seemed to be working, as Regulus practically melted like candle wax in a volcano. James laughed quietly, and carefully scooped up Regulus and sat on the edge of the bed with the younger boy in his lap. James didn't dare to move.
"Hey, Reg," James nudged his chin up." You're just as much man as any other. Maybe even more. It takes so much to do what you're doing. And I promise I'll never leave you for it." James ran a hand through Regulus' wavy hair. His favorite thing to do and the move that was sure to at least momentarily soothe his boyfriend's worries in the moment. It was also adorable the way Regulus tried to deny that he liked it with those little grunts of his.
Regulus didn't bother with the protests this time, moving closer to James and hiding his face in the curve of his neck. James moved his hand to hold the back of his head. he laned down, pressing a light kiss to the top of his head. They kept that position for a while before James kicked off his shoes and pulled Regulus' off and laid them both down. Regulus groaned and buried deeper into his neck. "Jamie..." His voice was muffled, but the nickname caught him off guard. James hadn't ever really been called anything other than his name and Prongs. But he didn't say anything. Just basked in the glory of this perfect moment. Regulus had probably fallen asleep but he didn't mind. And soon enough he was asleep as well.
Euphemia had attempted to scold them for falling asleep in the same bed, but James argued that Regulus had just been tired and James and simply fallen asleep by accident. Which Euphemia didn't argue with. How could she argue with her innocent son? Impossible. But Sirius had plenty of words for them, mostly James.
"Prongs. Dating my baby brother is already enough, but falling asleep with him?! I feel betrayed." Sirius huffed out.
Much to James' relief, Remus walked down the steps and yawned. He had on one of Sirius' Bowie shirts and sweatpants that were comfortably loose. And Sirius was successfully distracted. And breakfast was thankfully not that awkward. Sirius did glare at them, but ignored them for the most part, too entranced with Remus. Euphemia did make them wait until after lunch to go outside. Which gave James the perfect amount of time to spend doing nothing with Regulus. Well, not really nothing. They were curled up on James' bed.
"Do you want your own room, Reg? I can have Gully set one up if you'd rather." James had started playing with a tighter curl on Regulus' mop of mixed-textured hair. At this point, Regulus' hair was a toy for James to play with. Not like Regulus planned on stopping him anytime soon.
"I think it's what your mom would want us to do." In turn, Regulus was playing with the hem of James' sweater. Well, it was probably one he'd snagged from Remus and 'forgotten' to give back.
"I know. Regulus. Is a separate room what you want?" James had that polite forcefulness he only seemed to have with him. Where he was trying to not trigger any sort of fear in Regulus.
He shook his head. James smiled. He moved both hands to Regulus' cheeks. "Then you stay in here. Problem solved."
And he pulled Regulus into what was only their third proper kiss. James was a gentleman in that manner. He had asked Regulus how slow he wanted to take this and listened to whenever Regulus turned something down. And he sort of liked it. The silent bonding that wasn't because their mouths were on one another. Simply because just existing near each other was enough for them right now.
When they all did go outside, Regulus opted for sitting on the stairs and watching James, Sirius, and Remus all roll around in the snow. Peter did show up a few hours later. Regulus had never really talked to the boy James referred to as 'Wormtail'. Mostly because, to him, the boy wasn't all that interesting. When the sun started to set, Remus came and sat down next to him. It wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, but it wasn't exactly pleasant either. Eventually Remus spoke.
"So... since October, right? Don't tell him I said this but he was stressing out over how to confess to you for weeks."
Regulus looked up, laughing weakly and grinning. "Good to know. You're Remus, right?"
'Yeah. And you're Sirius' baby brother that James has been in love with since he was in fourth year." Remus looked out to where Sirius and James were wrestling around in the snow, shoving the white powder into each other's coats and throwing snowballs. Regulus looked too, and they both started laughing. They were both in love with fools, and there was no helping them.
Euphemia called them in around 7 PM, when the sun was mostly set. Both James and Sirius were effectively freezing cold now thanks to their wrestling. They had blankets wrapped around them at dinner and were still shivering when they went up to their rooms. James more so. He had been on the losing end of the play-fighting, shockingly enough, and had gotten multiple snowballs in his face and even one in his mouth purely by chance. Regulus made fun of him the whole time, but threw every blanket in his room onto the bed to ensure James was sufficiently warm, even if he were to overheat a little himself.
Regulus was just about to crawl into bed when he felt a sharp pain shoot up his side. He flinched, but tried to brush it off.
"Reg, you okay?" James spoke through a slightly snotty tone.
"Yeah. Give me a minute I'll be back."
Regulus left and slipped into the nearest bathroom. He hated having to take off the bandages. Not having his flatness. Why couldn't he have just been born a real boy? He did it quickly and tugged on his shirt and left the bathroom with his arms crossed over his chest. He barely got out of the room before running into somebody. He felt a hand on his shoulder and instantly knew it was James.
"Oh, hey James! Uh... Just forgot to wash my face was all!" Regulus' lie was evident.
"Reg. What's wrong?" That polite forcefulness again.
Regulus grabbed James' wrist and led him back to his room. He shut the door and shakily sighed.
"Regulus, seriously. What's wrong? Did you change your mind about the room situation?"
"James, please just stop for a second will you?!" Regulus froze. He didn't mean to snap at James. He never snapped at him before. And now he felt awful.
"I... I'm sorry, Just, give me a moment." Regulus sat down on the edge of the bed, still holding the bandages for his chest. He pulled his knees up, hiding his face.
James remained standing, waiting for Regulus to speak. He didn't plan on forcing any information out of him. He just waited. He eventually did sit down next to Regulus, where he heard soft sobs now. His heart twisted in his chest and his throat tightened. It had to be a good twenty minutes before Regulus spoke again.
"You... you've never seen me without these on." Regulus held up the bandages.
While it did take a while for James to put the pieces together, when he did, he sighed. He shuffled closer, wrapping the blanket he had around one of Regulus' shoulders. "Reg. Can you look up at me? Just for a second, okay?" James sounded like a soothing parent now, which was strange considering their relationship but Regulus felt soothed by the tone.
When he did look up, James was met with a bleary-eyed boy. A vulnerable boy. It hurt to see his face splotchy and red from crying. He reached up, wiping a tear away mid fall and holding his hand there. He stared right into Regulus' blood-shot eyes.
"Regulus. I need you to listen very carefully right now. Alright?" James waited until he nodded to continue. "I honestly don't care about that. Now, when I say that I'm not saying I don't care about how all of this is affecting you. It kills me to see you suffering because of this. But none of that is going to change how much I'm attracted to you. You are the single most handsome man I've ever met. Nothing will ever make that change. None of this will ever make me love you any less."
Regulus could barely process how sincere that all sounded. He didn't know someone could care so much just for him without wanting to gain something from him.
"You mean all that? You love me?" Regulus' tone was one of pure disbelief. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming. Even if he was he didn't want anyone waking him up. James Potter had just declared his love for him and he needed to hold onto that as long as humanly possible.
"Yes. Regulus Arcturus Black, I'm so madly in love with you." James pressed their foreheads together. He stared into Regulus' eyes, his own only showing the most serious form of love he could possibly convey.
Regulus laughed. He dropped the bandages and reached up to hold James' face with one of his hands. He wanted to freeze this moment in time. Take a picture so it would last forever. They stayed like that, truly frozen in time. When they moved, it was to lay down. James held him from behind, guessing Regulus wouldn't want to be chest to chest without the bandages on. Regulus slept the best he had that night, no nightmares of those unforgivable curses or Grimmauld Place. Instead, he was curled up on a couch reding some muggle author with James right next to him.
Christmas Eve arrived exceedingly fast in a blur of snowball fights, late night talks with James, and Euphemia's soul-ascending cooking. The whole night James was grinning, and when Regulus asked why, he refused to answer. Regulus quickly guessed it was because James was hiding his gift. So he feigned ignorance the rest of the night, and fell asleep next to him as usual, but was unable to sleep well.
The next morning, James was already awake, smiling. He held a fair-sized box in on one hand and was using his other to play with Regulus' hair. When he sat up, James held the box out, smiling. But anxiously instead of his usual wide. toothy one.
"A gift? For me? Oh, Jamie you're such a sweet boyfriend." Regulus leaned forward, kissing his cheek and opening the box. It was a leather-bound sketchbook with his name on the front in gold lettering. It had his name on it. Not the one his family had chosen. In smooth cursive, it read "REGULUS A.B.". He thought he might cry at this point. "James! When did you have time to get this?!"
"A guy in Hogsmeade does leather-working so I figured it would make a good gift. You said you like drawing and stuff." James looked down at the sketchbook in his hands, an looked up to Regulus who now had tears in his eyes. James jolted. "What?! Reg? Are you alright? Do you not like it? I can always get you something different! Like maybe a-"
Regulus silenced him with a kiss. he set the sketchbook off to the side for now and focused solely on James. He tasted like what he imagined sunlight would. When James drew back, unsure if Regulus was okay to continue, the other boy rolled his eyes and pulled him back in. He was not about to let this moment end. And thankfully Euphemia, or worse, Sirius, never walked in. Sirius was probably busy exchanging gifts with Remus anyways.
Regulus never wanted this Christmas break to end. That was likely the reason he stayed pretty much glued to James the entire train ride back. And when James fell asleep against the car window, he pulled out his new sketchbook, ran his fingers over the gold of his name, and opened it. Inside the first page was James' handwriting, from the slightly scratchy attempt at cursive, reading "It's our first Christmas together, Reg! Doesn't that make you excited for the next one? And the next one? I wonder how many Christmases we'll get to spend together. I'm counting on all of them starting NOW! -James F. Potter" with a heart drawn. Regulus laughed, flipped the page, and got to work.