Chapter Text
Not even the view from his balcony is able to calm Yeosang's restless nerves today.
Usually he'd sit out here, enjoy the soft glow of the city lights at night, take a few deep breaths and forget about whatever was bothering him that day. Lately, however, that has changed. It's hard to forget your worries when those worries encapsulate your current overall life situation.
Sitting cross-legged in the uncomfortable white plastic chair by the railing of his balcony, the warmth seeping through his hands from the cup of chamomile tea wrapped in his palms is nice, a contrast against the cold night air. The tea is slowly going more lukewarm than Yeosang prefers but he keeps holding it anyway. It feels grounding in a way, as he tries to focus on something other than the uneasy buzz of his thoughts.
The pictures for his project simply aren't coming together. He keeps retaking them over and over again, staring at them for hours, changing light, angles and camera settings repeatedly but everything seems to just increase his frustration.
He had picked the photography major because capturing those unique moments, pretty views and memories that make people feel nostalgic has always excited him. It was his hobby, his passion and for the longest time, it was what he thought he was best at.
Lately, Yeosang isn't so sure about that last part anymore. His own work feels empty, not good enough in comparison to what he's seen from other people in his major. Before university, Yeosang never paid much attention to other people's work. At least not in the way that he was comparing it to his own, just appreciating it. But something had changed when he started getting graded for his work and heard about others' grades. It's so much harder to not compare yourself when you have numbers, black on white, telling you how good or bad the product you poured so much heart and passion into is.
With this current project, the doubt creeps in again, more than ever. Yeosang catches himself wondering whether he is wasting his time on all this. Maybe his parents were right, and photography is a nice hobby but not much of a future, not with Yeosang's skills, at least. He had never really listened to their doubts before, used to be confident and sure about himself, but things had changed.
He sighs, taking another sip of his tea before letting his chin rest against the cold metal railing, eyes tracing the skyline. The lights of the city make him think.
How many people are currently out there, unsure if what they're pursuing is right for them, scared of failing? How many people are chasing a dream they will never achieve? Had it been naive to think he could be one of the few who would be able to realise their dreams?
There is the sound of cars in the distance, laughter from the street below and someone's TV muted through an open window. Then, almost too faint to catch it at first, Yeosang's ears pick up on something else.
A voice, warm and gentle, is humming a tune. Yeosang blinks and sits up a little. The sound is coming from the balcony beside his, from Jongho's apartment. The door must be open because the sound carries clearly, a sweet melody and a few words mumbled under his breath between serene humming. It's so captivating that for a moment, Yeosang forgets the tea, the city beneath him, his project, forgets everything but that voice. So genuine and raw, a beautiful tone that makes one's heart feel warm. Worry, hope, desperation, happiness, the feeling of being alive all rush over Yeosang at once. He lets out a shaky breath.
His thoughts drift to Jongho, who he's sure now the angelic voice belongs to. Yeosang doesn't actually know him too well. He's seen Jongho around plenty of times. The other man always looks put-together, quite handsome, polite, nods in greeting, even sends him soft smiles but never lingers enough for more than a bit of small talk.
They had exchanged a few words only a handful of times and Yeosang usually preferred to keep that kind of surface-level relationship with neighbours. But since Jongho is around the same age, Yeosang couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed every time they had parted ways again without a real conversation. The other seemed sweet enough and something about him was intriguing, making Yeosang want to befriend him.
He never imagined Jongho was the type to sing to himself, much less with a voice like that. Yeosang finds himself smiling at the thought.
The humming ends not long after. Yeosang lingers for a while, watching the lights flicker below, the sounds of the city reaching his ears again. When the tea has finally gone cold, he sets the cup down and stands to go inside.
That's when he notices movement at the edge of his balcony, making him jump a little and turn in alarm. A small brown cat stands there, eyes glinting in the low light. She stares up at him, tail flicking once, cautious but curious.
"Hi there, little one! You scared me", he murmurs, crouching down slowly so as to not scare her away. "You're so cute. I didn't expect any company tonight."
The cat continues to look at him appraisingly. Yeosang slowly stretches out a hand, letting her sniff his fingers before she steps closer, brushing her cheek against his knuckles. He slowly shuffles closer, stroking her soft fur and her purr starts almost instantly as she nuzzles her head into his hand. A laugh escapes Yeosang as he watches the cat fondly. "You're such a sweet baby, so friendly."
She stretches her neck, nosing toward his mug and he gently pulls it back. "Sorry, kitty, this isn't for you." For a few minutes, she stays on the balcony, letting herself get petted and scratched behind her ears, pacing and curling around his legs. The soft vibration of her purring fills Yeosang's heart and he briefly thinks that it's funny how Jongho's singing and the cat's purring seem to have the same calming effect on him.
When she seems to have enough of the attention, she jumps back onto the railing and leaps down onto a nearby tree branch from there, vanishing into the shadows beyond the railing.
Yeosang straightens slowly, standing there for a while longer, staring at the spot where she disappeared and finds himself smiling again. This balcony is still the perfect spot to calm down after all, even if it took a bit more than just the view this evening.
When he finally goes back inside, his apartment for once doesn't hit him with an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. And later when falling asleep, it isn't the stupid photography project running through his mind, it's the thought of a cat with amber eyes, purring affectionately and the sound of a muted song.
ᓚᘏᗢ
The morning light is bright, illuminating the mess Yeosang has been desperately avoiding for days now. Empty mugs, memory cards, camera batteries all scattered between a pile of prints that he doesn't even want to begin to look at. His eyes are fixed on the unfinished edit on his laptop screen as he slumps in his chair, chin propped on one hand. He tweaks the colour grading a little only to remove the change after another thirty seconds of staring at it in despair.
Yeosang knows he loves photography but lately, nothing about it has come as naturally to him as it usually does. He's never happy with the way his pictures turn out anymore and it's slowly gnawing at his confidence. The thought that maybe this years-long passion isn't for him at all sits heavy in his chest.
Letting out a deep sigh, Yeosang reaches for his phone, hoping for a distraction and almost jumps when it buzzes the second his fingers graze the flat surface. He checks the caller ID and accepts immediately, a smile tugging at his lips despite his current mood.
"Yeosangie!!", Wooyoung's voice rings out through the speaker, bright and full of energy. "You will not believe what just happened!"
"It's 10 in the morning, what on earth has you this excited?"
"I got in!! They accepted my application!"
"Application?"
"The internship! At the restaurant I told you about! The one I've been obsessed with since forever, where that one-star chef works who was on that TV show we watched! They said they loved my portfolio and that I can start next month. Can you believe it?"
Wooyoung rambles on, tripping over his own words in excitement and Yeosang listens, genuinely happy for him. He can practically see the grin on his best friend's face if he just closes his eyes, the joy so apparent in his voice. It's this bright infectious energy that has always drawn people to Wooyoung.
But something small and bitter stirs in his stomach, even as he congratulates his best friend, teasing him about acting normal in case he runs into his celebrity chef crush and asking if San won't get jealous if he talks about another man too much. He just can't manage to tune out this familiar voice in the back of his mind, whispering that he's falling behind.
When the call ends, Yeosang sets down his phone, staring at it for another moment. Guilt pools somewhere deep inside him and with it comes this feeling of nausea. He is happy for Wooyoung, couldn't be more delighted. But it doesn't stop the envy bubbling up inside.
As he leans back in his chair, his eyes drift to the wall where a few of his old pictures are framed, many of them places he has visited with his friends.
Wooyoung is thriving in culinary school and even got his dream internship now. San has his flower shop, which has been going viral for a while now, one of the most popular ones in town. And then Seonghwa, with his modelling career that has taken off, billboards and catwalks. Wooyoung, San and Seonghwa all have found their paths. Besides them, Yeosang can't help but feel inadequate at times, lately more often than not. He can't help but wonder if he will ever be good enough to make a living off the one thing that he is good at, or thought he was, at least. He drops a hand to his face, groaning softly.
Feeling overwhelmed, Yeosang pushes his laptop aside, standing up to get to his balcony. The crisp air immediately refreshes him a little. Letting out a slow exhale, he focuses on letting the tension drain from his shoulders as he leans against the railing, eyes unfocused.
A soft meow catches his attention and he blinks, glancing to the side. The small brown cat is perched on his balcony railing, watching him closely. "Hey kitty", Yeosang says softly, smiling despite himself. "You're here quite often lately."
The cat meows in answer, making Yeosang laugh. "You want your treat, don't you?" He reaches for a small pack of treats, bought after the cat's third or maybe fourth visit, hidden inside one of the empty flowerpots. As the cat trails closer, Yeosang pours a few treats onto his palm. She immediately starts purring, eating the treats daintily before pressing her head against his hand, demanding pets.
"Spoilt little kitty", Yeosang murmurs fondly, scratching behind her ears. "Do you belong to someone around here, huh? You keep showing up like this is where you live."
For a while, Yeosang stays there, letting her presence and purrs settle the restlessness that has been gnawing at him all morning. Her fur is impossibly soft and warm from the sunlight and Yeosang feels like his morning is resetting, a chance to continue his day, less worried and anxious. Once the cat has her fill, she stretches languidly before walking along the railing.
"Where are you off to this time?", Yeosang asks with a soft smile. Not paying him any mind, the cat stays still for a moment before gracefully leaping over onto the railing of the next balcony, Jongho's balcony. There, she climbs onto one of the cushioned chairs, curling up into a ball.
"Oh", Yeosang murmurs, a smile tugging at his lips. "Are you Jongho's cat?" The image comes to him quite easily, Jongho with the brown cat in his lap, softly scratching her head and Yeosang can't help but laugh.
"I guess that makes sense. You like calm people too, huh?", he says in amusement, eyes soft as he watches the cat settle on the soft cushion.
The thought stirs something small and fond in him, his mind drifting back to the first time he'd met Jongho. It had been a coincidental meeting, before they even knew they were neighbours.
Yeosang had been at a café, bone-tired, ordering himself a coffee to properly wake up. As it was time to pay, he reached into the pocket of his leather jacket to get his wallet, only to realise he'd forgotten his wallet at home on his desk. Ready to sink through the floor from embarrassment, he apologised profusely to the apathetic-looking barista when suddenly someone behind him stepped forward. "I've got it. Please add an iced Americano with no sugar to the order and I'll pay for both our drinks."
Yeosang still remembers Jongho's soft laugh when he'd stammered out apology after apology and the way his eyes had crinkled as he smiled. He'd told him not to worry about it and then left, Yeosang not even getting his name.
Later that day, they ran into each other in the hallway in front of their apartments. Jongho had looked stunned as Yeosang recognised him, immediately thanking him again and asking for his name this time. They both introduced themselves and talked for a bit. Yeosang promised to return the favour one day and had made sure to show up the following week with an iced Americano in hand, just as Jongho was heading to work. Seemingly startled, cheeks dusted pink, he had accepted the drink, murmuring a flustered "thank you".
Ever since then, it had been mostly small, polite interactions between them, greeting each other in the hallways, comfortable small talk in the elevator, warm smiles at the mailboxes. Every small exchange made Yeosang think of Jongho as a very warm and comforting person.
Glancing at the peacefully sleeping cat again, he can't help but think that they're a bit similar. He smiles to himself, quiet and a little wistful.
ᓚᘏᗢ
Yeosang takes another bite from the fried chicken he had ordered earlier today. His eyes are fixed on the screen on his laptop as he's scrolling through Pinterest, thoroughly distracted from his previous mission to finally finish editing those photos. It's alright today. The pictures are still far from perfect, but they don't feel as hopeless anymore. He quite likes one or two of them now and that sure is a start.
The soft shuffle catches his attention as he adjusts the headphones on his ears, and he turns around to see a familiar figure striding in through the open balcony door.
"Oh, hi, cat! Came here because you also wanted some chicken?" The sight of the sweet brown cat brings an effortless smile to his face. Tail high and confident, she walks up to Yeosang and leaps into his lap, curling into a perfect little loaf of warmth.
"You have no boundaries, huh?", he murmurs, wiping his hands on a tissue before softly scratching behind her ears, which rewards him with a deep, contented purr. Yeosang can't help but laugh softly. "You're lucky you're so cute." Continuing to pet her, he leans back in his chair, the faint vibration of her purring spreading into his chest and softening something heavy that's been sitting there for weeks. And as it happens quite often lately, his thoughts drift to the owner of the warm, adorable cat.
Each time he'd seen Jongho lately, by his door, at the mailbox, or once in the elevator, Jongho seemed to look progressively more stressed and exhausted. He still smiled at Yeosang, but there were dark circles visible beneath his eyes and his voice was more timid than previously. Sometimes he came home, looking like he hadn't slept in two days and Yeosang had noticed. He isn't quite sure when or how he had started noticing but he did.
Letting out a deep sigh, his gaze drops to the cat in his lap, fingers still stroking soft fur. "You think he's working too much?", he asks the cat in a whisper, not getting a response except for the continuous purring. Should he ask Jongho if he's alright? That'd probably be overstepping. Maybe if he befriends the other first, he can ask him once they're closer, make sure he takes care of himself a little better.
Pondering his options for a while, Yeosang huffs out a laugh through his nose. "I can barely get my own life together, maybe I should be worrying about myself first." Still, the thought lingers and Yeosang catches himself staring out the open balcony door, where the setting sun bathes the sky in bright oranges and pink, while Yeosang can't help but wonder what Jongho is up to right now and if he's admiring the same sunset or if he's too stressed, working overtime in some small office room.
ᓚᘏᗢ
Jongho sits at his kitchen table, still in his work clothes, sleeves rolled up, tie abandoned over the back of his chair, the top button of his shirt undone. Before him stands his laptop, next to a half-empty mug of cold coffee, far from his first one today.
Technically, he'd clocked out three hours ago. He's supposed to be showering by now and then getting to watch something to fall asleep. Unfortunately, ten minutes before the end of his shift, his boss had sent him another small task that was due tomorrow morning.
The 'small' task has now turned into another three hours of work and with Jongho's rapidly decreasing concentration, he fears it might turn into more if he doesn't pull himself together. His shoulders ache and his eyes feel dry. He rubs his face with both hands, exhaling a long, tired sigh. Just as he's about to go over the next few lines, a faint scratching sound against the balcony door pulls his attention away from the laptop. Jongho looks up with a frown, and the scratching comes again, followed by a meow. He stands and walks to the glass door, eyes falling onto the brown cat, sitting primly outside, tail curled neatly around her as if she'd been waiting patiently for him to notice.
A quiet laugh escapes him, and he slides the door open. The cat immediately comes inside, brushing against his legs and hopping onto his couch like she owns the place. "Why are you here again, huh? Won't Yeosang worry when you're away for too long? Hasn't your dad taught you not to go home with strangers?", he murmurs, crouching down to run a hand over her soft fur. She purrs, tail flicking as she rubs her head against his fingers in greeting.
Jongho isn't fully confident if the cat belongs to Yeosang. But he's seen her around him often enough to assume. Looking at her now, he remembers the first time he noticed.
It was a calm evening a few weeks ago. He had stepped out onto his balcony to water his plants, trying to decompress after another long day. Focused on his watering can, it took him a while to look up and notice Yeosang, sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor of his balcony, a soft string of fairy lights glowing above him. In front of him sat the brown cat while Yeosang was feeding her tiny treats from his palm. He talked to her in a hushed tone and while Jongho hadn't been able to make out any of the words, he still couldn't help but focus on the scene in front of him. The faint light softened Yeosang's sharp features, his blonde hair shining golden.
Then, Yeosang let out a laugh and Jongho felt his chest tightening inexplicably. Suddenly feeling afraid that Yeosang could notice him staring, Jongho immediately busied himself with his plants again, the image lingering in his mind.
Ever since, seeing the cat always reminds him of that moment, of Yeosang's soft laugh. As the cat curls up into a small ball, Jongho smiles faintly, shutting his laptop with a sigh to get up and sit beside her. "Are you here to distract me from work? You little troublemaker." The cat blinks up at him once before closing her eyes again, utterly content. The sight of her makes him oddly grounded and he softly brushes his thumb over her head.
"You might be a troublemaker, but your owner is really kind, you know that?", he murmurs and suddenly, the apartment feels too quiet when he stops talking. So, he keeps going, sharing his frustrations and worries, even if it's just with the silence of his apartment and a small brown cat.
"I've been so tired lately. Work's been... rough. Working overtime, too many deadlines, not enough sleep and no appreciation for what I do." His lips curve into a tired smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I feel like even my coffee's starting to give up on me." The cat purrs louder, pressing into his hand.
"And lately...", he hesitates, eyes flicking toward the balcony door. "I've been wanting to talk to Yeosang more. We barely know each other but I- he just... I don't know." He pauses, searching for the right words. "He seems like such a warm person. And very attentive. He just notices things other people wouldn't." His gaze softens as he recalls another memory he just couldn't get out of his head.
One night a few days ago, he came home completely done with the world. He was dreading entering his apartment just to have to cook and eat and shower and go to sleep and then wake up to go to work and do it all over again. In his tired state, he nearly missed the paper bag sitting by his door. There was a small pink sticky note on it with a message.
'I accidentally made too many, so I thought I'd give some to you! Hopefully you'll like them!! I hope your week won't be too exhausting. Take care and make sure to get enough sleep ^^'
Inside the bag were three melon breads, still warm. A soft smile made its way onto Jongho's face, despite himself. And suddenly, with an ache in his chest, he realised how much he had neglected his own needs this past week, cutting back on sleep and any resemblance of free time just for this workplace that was slowly but surely burning him out. And Yeosang seemed to have noticed, judging by the sweet sticky note. Yeosang had noticed while Jongho himself hadn't.
Ever since then, the memory has been stuck in Jongho's head, right alongside the image of Yeosang bathed in golden light on his balcony.
Resting his head on the back of his couch, Jongho runs a hand through his hair with a sigh. "I wish I could be friends with him. He's kind of intriguing. I feel like he'd make life feel a little less serious." His mouth quirks into a rueful smile. "But he is somewhat too cool for me, isn't he kitty? He seems very artsy, the kind of person who does everything at their own pace and is confident in what they're doing. I'm a nine-to-five guy whose job currently seems to be turning into my 24/7."
He sits in silence for a bit, his own words sinking in. He's been abandoning most of his hobbies lately, even his beloved plants seem to be suffering from his sudden lack of attention and care. Wasn't this always the life he dreaded most? Wasn't his goal always to have a job that makes money so he could enjoy his free time with it? Where was that joy now? The cat's tail flicks, eyes fixed on him like she's able to read his mind and trying to tell him something.
"Do you think I should just... try and talk to him?", he asks, tilting his head to the side lazily. "Maybe I can ask if he wants to grab a coffee? Or would that be weird?"
The cat lets out a loud meow, nudging his hand that had stopped petting her as the idea of speaking to Yeosang had grown in his mind. Jongho snorts. "Yeah so, I guess that's a no, huh? Or maybe you're saying I'm hopeless."
He shakes his head, smile softening. "What am I doing, talking to a cat? Guess I'm even more tired than I thought." Scratching her gently between her ears, the quiet settles again but it feels a bit lighter this time and Jongho ends up drifting away into a deep, dreamless sleep right there on the couch, next to the small brown cat.