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Bruce didn’t want to do this. It was such a silly idea and he just wanted to go back to the Batcave. Look through his files and maybe even go on patrol later tonight. Instead, he was being forced to go to a studio for a game show he didn’t want to participate in.
Worse it was a dating show, The dating game to be exact. He’s watched this show since he was a child, it was created in the 60s. His mother would watch it as she did her puzzles. Bruce would sit next to her and watch as she did them, not paying much attention to the tv. But he always knew that was what she was watching.
The host was a young man, standing next to a bachelorette, who read cards she had written prior, asking questions to the three men who she couldn’t see. Eventually she would pick who she wanted out of the three and they would win the game, going on a date afterwards.
Again, Bruce knew of the show and its basic rules but he didn’t care for it and he stopped watching it completely after his parents passing. His mother stopped playing it so why would he continue to watch it? He never knew that he would one day become apart of it.
Bruce was busy in his office when the call came, “Mister Wayne! How would you like to be part of The dating game?” “We would love if you could come on the show as a guest star, we haven’t had a billionaire on since the 70s.” Bruce barely remembered what he said, just a simple “Uh, sure.” “Maybe..I’ll think about it.” Before he abruptly hung up.
He didn’t think about it for months until he got an email from the company, saying for him to show up to their studio for the show in a couple weeks. Bruce didn’t want to be involved when he remembered what this was about. He was playing on cancelling, but then Alfred found out.
“Come on, Master Bruce.” “You can’t keep quitting things just because it would get in the way of Batman business.” “Bruce Wayne has to make appearances too, you know.” Bruce sighed, knowing that Alfred was right. He couldn’t just cancel everything that got in the way of him being Batman.
He needed to be able to be Bruce Wayne too and sadly, apart of that was taking weird gigs like this. Bruce knew being who he was, he had to make a lot of sacrifices so that’s just what he would do. So, he didn’t cancel his appearance on the show.
And on the day he had to go to the studio, he did. Alfred drove him in his car to the studio, “Do try and have fun, Master Bruce.” “Perhaps you’ll meet someone nice.” Bruce wanted to roll his eyes at the idea. The contestants most likely knew it was Bruce Wayne who they would be playing to win the affections of.
Meaning most likely they wouldn’t be sincere in wanting to date him. Not that he would be either, but still, he wasn’t interested in finding true love tonight. At a game show meant to people’s entertainment. He wasn’t expecting anything but a good time and that’s it. A good time for everyone else; not him of course.
Regardless, he smiles to Alfred, “I’ll try.” He says as Alfred smiles back and drives off. Bruce takes in a deep breath before entering the building. The place was buzzing with life, when one of the directors noticed him, he immediately ran over.
“Mister Wayne! Welcome I’m so glad you could make it.” “Here let me show you to your room for now.” “I’ll send in your stylist in a moment to get you ready.” The man told him, motioning for Bruce to follow him. They went to the back behind stage, going to the rooms.
They stopped in front of one, the room had a star on it. “There you go, I’ll get Janet in here.” Bruce couldn’t even respond as he was shoved into the room and the director left immediately. Bruce let out another sigh as he looked around. It seemed nice enough, a couch behind the large mirrors, lights surrounding them.
A chair sat in front of the mirror, the table in front of it, filled with hair products and make up. It was clearly a female dressing room in here. Bruce wasn’t surprised, this show mostly had a female in this room. The bachelorette would ask the male contestants questions but this time, it would be a bachelor asking questions to females it seemed.
Bruce sat down in the chair, staring at his reflection. He didn’t think he needed Janet at all really, he looked fine already. He had done his hair before leaving the manor and he was wearing one of his best tailored suits. That’s when Janet bursted into the room with two other women behind her.
“Hello, Mister Wayne!” “I’m Janet, I’m your stylist for tonight.” “We have an hour until show starts to get you ready.” She explains, walking up to him. She places a bag of her supplies on the table. The two other women stand behind him.
“Uh, hello, Janet.” “I think I’m good however, I already got ready-“ He’s cut off by Janet spinning his chair around and putting blush on his face. He coughs at this, surprised by the action. She then turns his chair back towards the mirror.
“Nonsense! You need to look stunning, mister Wayne.” “You could be meeting your future wife tonight!” “You need to make a good impression on her.” She told him, grabbing his head and taking a comb through his hair. The other women giggle at Janet’s words, watching her work.
Bruce grimaces at this but doesn’t say anything. He doubts her words completely. He was not meeting anyone from a silly game show. He didn’t mind her getting him dressed up for it but he doubted she was genuinely thinking that.
This wasn’t for some potential partner, this was for the tv, the people watching the show. That’s all this whole thing was. They wanted a star, someone people knew onto their show, and a billionaire who was known as an entrepreneur and air-headed playboy was perfect for what they wanted. As Janet got him ready for tonight’s show, the door to the room opened again and the host walked in.
Bruce recognized him, he was the host from the beginning of the show, Charles. Charles smiled brightly over at Bruce, his sunglasses on despite being indoors and it being late at night. The man was much older looking than the last time Bruce remembered him, his brown hair now turning gray and he’s balding slightly. “Ah, Mister Wayne!” “Nice to meet you.” “I’m Charles Charleyhorse.”
Bruce takes the man’s hand, though his smile tenses when he hears his full name. He ignores the fact he has the same last name as one of Joker’s goons. He just assumes the last name isn’t as uncommon as he originally thought. He did think of Charles when Charlie was first added to Joker’s team, the last name reminding him of the game show host.
He figured it was just a coincidence but now he might have to look into it. No matter, Bruce didn’t need to think about that now. “You understand how this works right?” “Just ask them your questions that you have, they’ll answer and you just pick whoever you think has the best responses.” Bruce nods, fiddling with his cards which he had on him, completely forgetting them until now.
“Yes I know, I’ve watched the show before.” “A while ago though..but I still remember how it goes.” Bruce tells him, awkwardly. “Great! Also, you don’t have to go on a date with who wins.” “You can of course but it’s not an obligation anymore.” “It used to be in the old days when the show first aired but now we don’t hold it against our bachelors and bachelorette’s if they don’t want to.” Charles explain to him, patting Bruce on the back.
Bruce lets out a hum, surprised but completely relieved of this news. He didn’t have to go on a date with them. He could simply choose to not go out with them after and what a relief that was. He felt much better about this, that it really was just a game.
Janet however, scoffed at Charles words, “Sure he doesn’t have to but he’ll hurt that poor girls heart if he doesn’t!” “I’m sure she would want to go on a date with you, Mister Wayne.” She says solemnly, Bruce frowns at this. He does know that most likely will be what happens but damn it why should he care?
He was being paid to be here, I mean not that he needed the money but they only had him here to do the game show. An actual date would be something he would have to do on his time. Time that he needs for fighting crime and being Batman. Though, they didn’t know that. Bruce sighed, but nodded.
“True..” “I suppose if she really wants to then perhaps I could.” Charles frowns right back at this but just shrugs. “Whatever you want to do.” “Anyways, we’re on in ten.” he quickly leaves the room. Bruce lets out another deep sigh. Janet finishes up his hair, “There you go! Have fun out there, mister Wayne.” She says to him, he smiles back at her.
“Thank you, Janet.” He thanks, getting up from the chair. It was time to go out there. God, help him. The audience was larger than Bruce expected but he wasn’t shy, he smiled at the crowd, walking to where Charles was. He stood near a chair, holding a microphone. He patted Bruce on the back again, as Bruce sat down.
The camera crew said action, and the lights dimmed as a spotlight shown on Bruce and Charles. Charles became animated immediately as music played, music Bruce hadn’t heard in years. “Welcome to the dating show!” “I’m your host, Charles Charleyhorse.” “Today we have Bruce Wayne, Gotham’s very own billionaire CEO of Wayne enterprises.”
“Thank you for coming onto the show, Mister Wayne.” Bruce smiles back at him, “Thank you for having me.” He greets back simply. “of course.” “Now, it’s time for us to meet our three contestants!” He announced and the crowd roared in applause.
Bruce nervously smiled back at them, hearing their enthusiasm for this silly show made him feel ashamed. He didn’t know why, he just wasn’t into this but he would pretend for them. Bruce didn’t even realize the audience would get to see the contestants from their view, he had forgotten about that part until the audience started clapping as the large box coverings lifted up.
From Bruce’s view point, all he could see were the boxes at the side. There were three of them as he saw the covers lifted. A bunch of people ooh’ed and Ahh’ed as they got to see the contestants. “Alright, Contestant number one! Introduce yourself to Mister Wayne.” Charles said, smiling happily.
“Hello, Mister Wayne! I can’t wait to hear what questions you have for me.” Her voice sounded meek but sweet and genuine. Bruce smiled softly, “Great, I can’t wait to hear your answers.” He said, causally, the audience clapped again.
“And Contestant number two?” Charles questioned, leaning forward and almost into Bruce’s personal space. “Hey, Mister Wayne…It’s nice to meet you~” Everyone in the audience laughed at the clear seductive voice she was putting on for him. Bruce smiled awkwardly, both amused and uncomfortable.
“Heh, it’s nice to meet you too.” He says back, smiling more comfortably again. He should have expected that in all honesty, knowing his reputation. Charles chuckled at that, “And our last contestant?” It was quiet for a moment until the last voice finally spoke up and Bruce tensed up immediately.
“Good evening, Mister Wayne.” “I’m excited to hear your questions for me, and I hope you like my answers.” The male voice said, clearly trying to keep his voice lowered. Bruce can recognize that voice anywhere, even if it wasn’t the same nasally high pitched sound.
Bruce figured he must have disguised himself or else the crowd wouldn’t be clapping. Bruce was now wondering why he was here. Did he know? Bruce was starting to panic but he needed to pretend like he didn’t notice or else it would ruin the show, and Joker would probably reveal himself and cause a panic.
So, he put on his fake smile. “Good evening to you too.” Charles smiles awkwardly, clearly noticing Bruce’s discomfort but he probably didn’t realize why that was. Charles probably assumed he was straight and therefore uncomfortable with having to flirt with a man for this dating show. Now it made sense why Charles said he didn’t have to go on a date with who wins.
Bruce let out a sigh, this was gonna be a long night. “Alright, we’re going to take a quick commercial break!” “Stay tuned!” The music played again and Charles immediately dropped the act. The audience got up as well to get snacks or use the restroom.
Bruce turned to Charles, “Why was number three added? Isn’t it supposed to be all women? I mean, I’m not opposed to him being here I’m just wondering.” Bruce asked as he stood up from his chair. Charles let out a sigh as he walked backstage. Bruce following behind him, “Look, it wasn’t my idea but someone close to me, my son, asked if his friend could be apart of the next show, and I said yes without realizing that the next show was with you.”
Charles told him, frowning back at him. Bruce frowned as well, trying to think about it, this crazy situation he was now in. That’s when it hit him, “Is your son…Charlie Charleyhorse?” Bruce asked him, trying not to growl out the name. God, Bruce hated him more than anyone. He didn’t even know why, Charlie was just annoying and an asshole for no reason.
Or perhaps there was a reason, Charlie held a jealousy towards Batman. “Yes, that’s my son..” “I’m sorry, he probably didn’t know you were who we had on the show next.” “I would have said no if I remembered it was you.” “The guy, he showed up today and we didn’t have a third contestant so..yeah.” Charles motioned with his hands as he then walked up to the food table and picked up a donut.
Bruce just awkwardly smiled but in his head, he was thinking everything through, if Joker really did know his identity and decided to go on this show to mess with him. Hopefully, Joker wasn’t gonna say anything about his identity.
This was for live television after all, he could expose everything to everyone around the world. He would be ruined, Batman would be gone. Bruce didn’t know what else to do but go with it. “Heh, well it’s fine really, like you said I don’t have to go on a date with him if he wins right?” “Besides he’s probably not going to win anyways.” Bruce told him, chuckling softly.
Charles nodded back, eating his donut, “Yeah, I figured that.” “Luckily, if he does win, our audiences won’t mind.” “They weirdly seem fine with gay people.” He said in between bites. Bruce eyed him, now definitely realizing that the man was homophobic.
Or at the very least, uneasy with gay men. Bruce almost wants to tell him that his son is bisexual but he stops himself as it would be weird for him to tell him that without implying that Bruce is bisexual himself…or even worse, he likes Charlie. Bruce grimaces, before awkwardly walking away from Charles the homophobe.
Bruce finds Janet who quickly fixes up his hair again, despite it not having been messed up at all. So, Bruce doesn’t know what she’s fixing but he just lets her do her thing. “Any of the three contestants you fancy?” She asks him, smiling brighter.
Bruce awkwardly smiles and shrugs, “I guess contestant one seems nice.” He says awkwardly. Janet giggles softly at his response, “Well, whoever wins, they’ll be lucky to have a date with you, Mister Wayne.” She says softly, genuinely. “Because I’m a billionaire?” Bruce asks her teasingly.
She chuckles and shakes her head, “No silly, because you’re kind and there isn’t much of that in Gotham, especially none that are also handsome.” “Though, I suppose being rich does sweeten the deal even more.” She says, smiling back at him in the mirror. He shakes his head, chuckling at her words.
“Ten minutes!” Charles yells from the hallway as Janet finishes his hair. Bruce is back on stage, sitting in the same chair. “We are back, folk’s!” “So, Bruce it’s time to start asking our contestants questions.”
Charles announces, “There is a time limit, you must ask each of them one question, then the rest of your questions all three of them can answer.” He explains, Bruce nods in understanding. He flips through his cards, looking for the right question to ask.
“Okay, contestant number one, What’s an animal you would describe yourself as?” Bruce will admit in his head, that these questions were pulled off google, he did not want to come up with anything original.
He didn’t take any of this seriously after all. “Oh, I’d probably be a deer or bunny maybe.” She said, awkwardly. The crowd Aww’ed at that. “Sounds sweet.” Bruce said back, as he looked for his next question. “Contestant number two, What is your favorite holiday and why?”
Contestant number two hummed in thought, “Probably Christmas, it’s a day for giving and receiving, as well as spending time with those you love.” “I mean, who doesn’t love that?” The crowd whistled and wooed at that. “True, it’s uh, a nice holiday.” Bruce said, as he wasn’t really paying much attention.
He got the next question already, nervous for the response. “Uh, contestant three…Which is more important: having a great sense of humor, being active and sporty, or being passionate about life?” He asks, already figuring his response.
“Hmm, Well I do love someone with a great sense of humor! It’s always good to see the funny side of things..” “Sporty and Active is fine but I wouldn’t say it’s that important at least for me, though I do like someone who can keep up with me.” “Passionate about life? Ha! That’s just silly, life’s just one big joke, that’s nothing to be passionate about.” “So, great sense of humor, final answer.”
Bruce frowned at this but he already knew that would be his answer. “Okay…” “Next question is for all three of you.” “What would you describe as a perfect date?” He asks them, fiddling with the card.
“I’d say just a simple dinner somewhere nice and cozy, maybe even a movie afterwards.” Contestant one responds. “Oh a fancy dinner then going back to your mansion.” Contestant two said, that seductive tone back in her voice.
The crowd whistled again and Bruce playfully rolled his eyes. “Perfect date..hmmm, Well I suppose going somewhere that means something to me. Like an old abandoned park, we could go there and just explore it.” “If it’s completely empty we could go on the rides together and steal the arcade prizes!”
“Look out at the city from high up on the Ferris wheel.” “I think that would be nice.” Bruce stayed quiet for a moment, his brow furrowed but he was genuinely thinking about that. Joker had done something similar with Batman before, taking him to amusement mile and having them go on a “date” in exchange for hostages.
It wasn’t bad actually despite the fact there were lives in danger. Bruce wouldn’t mind doing that again if it wasn’t some scheme. Charles shoved Bruce to get him to ask another question. Bruce cleared his throat, looking through his cards.
“Uh if you were to make me dinner, what would you make me?” He asked, still not completely in this. “I don’t really cook, I mostly bake but I could maybe make pasta, like spaghetti? Or whatever pasta you like best.” The second contestant scoffed at that, “I would make you a roast beef, with salad on the side.” She said proudly, the crowd laughed at her words.
“Hmm, I guess I could make you some burnt turkey? Heh, I’m not the best at cooking, but I have made fish before. Ooh maybe something fancy like Lobster.” “I’ve never made Lobster but I’m all for trying something new!” Bruce was surprised, Lobster was his favorite.
How did he know that? He never told Joker anything about his favorite food. Charles shoved him again, so Bruce quickly had to find another question. “What type of music do you listen to and what do you like about it?” He asks again, idly.
“I like Indie and pop music, I just like happier songs and pop music has a lot of that.” Bruce smiled softly at that, “I like Jazz music and hip hop, I just like the vibes they give me.” Bruce nodded at that. “Oh I love music, there isn’t a type I don’t like expect maybe Country, unless it’s the country about women killing their husbands, heh.” “But if I’d have to pick I guess classical, I just love the complicated structure of it.”
Bruce figured, Joker whenever he’s humming, most of the songs are classical and don’t even have lyrics, even the ones that do, are still classical music. Bruce knew a lot of classic music, his mother had a whole record which played a bunch of classics.
“Uh, okay, what is the most romantic gift you’ve gotten someone?” He asks, already getting tired of this. “Oh, I guess just the typical flowers and chocolates.” The first contestant says, “Heh, Mister Wayne, women aren’t supposed to give men gifts, that’s your job.” Contestant two said, amused by his question.
Bruce frowned at that, it seemed a little stereotypical of her to say that. Bruce could give her gifts, of course he could he was a billionaire but he wanted to be given things too. The gift didn’t need to be anything crazy just something special.
He then remembered why was he caring so much? This was just for the show, he didn’t have to go out with her. And yet he still wanted to defend himself. “Oh, my gifts are more just..giving my partner a break. Everyone needs breaks, sometimes the best thing to give someone is space.” “Space and time to get back on track.” “I’m nothing if not patient.”
Bruce lifted a brow at that, he didn’t think of Joker as patient at all. Though, Bruce does remember times when Joker had stepped back and even went to Arkham Asylum willingly to give Batman a break. Break from crime fighting when he would overwork himself. Bruce let out a hum as he looked through his cards.
“Uh, last question is do you believe in love at first sight?” He asks, awkwardly. “No not really, I mean it’s kinda silly to think you could fall in love with someone just by looking at them.” “You have to get to know the person first.” Contestant one explained. “I do! Love at first sight happens to me all the time.” “I see someone and I fall in love with them right then and there.” “And I’ve seen people do the same.” Second contestant said.
“Gosh, I don’t know..” “I think sometimes..there are moments when you just know, ya know? That this person is your other half, your soulmate and that you do love them but…also you just don’t know them well enough to really know, for a hundred percent certainty.” “So…I’d say I believe in love at first…talk.”
“When you start talking to them and getting to know them…and when you thought you were already in love with them…that’s when you actually fall for them.” Bruce silently ponders this, as he does, Charles immediately interrupts, “Well that’s all the time we have! Thank you to our lovely contestants.” “Now, Bruce it’s time to pick who wins!” Charles announces and Bruce finally comes back.
He stares blankly at the crowd, pondering who to pick but he decides that he already knew who he was picking. He knew from the start of this, when he first heard Joker speak. “Contestant number three.” “I choose him.” Bruce says, regretfully. Charles eyes him, narrowing but just smiles and keeps up appearances.
The crowd cheers and claps. “Alright! Contestant number three come on out.” Out of the last box in the row, a man walked out and stood next to Bruce. Bruce could definitely tell it was Joker underneath the makeup that gave him a more flesh colored look.
His brown hair was slicked back and he was wearing a regular black suit. His green eyes were the only thing out of place, but since green eyes were an actual eye color it wouldn’t make anyone suspect him to be Joker.
He held out his hand, smiling brightly. Bruce took his hand as the crowd continued to cheer. “Joesph Kurr, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He says bowing slightly as if Bruce was a king he was greeting.
Bruce just awkwardly smiles back, in his mind, he immediately got the name, Joe kurr. “Nice to meet you, Mister Kurr.” Charles smiles awkwardly before turning to the tv, “That’s the show folks! See you all next time.” He said animatedly.
When the cameras turned off and the crowd started to leave, Charles dropped the act. He walked away, towards the backstage again. Bruce saw the other two women walk out, contestant one waved to him, which he waved back.
The other didn’t even bother to look at him, her arms crossed. “Joesph” smirked over at them as they passed before turning back to Bruce. “So, where are we going?” “The amusement park was just a silly idea, we don’t have to go there.” Bruce tilted his head, confused until he realized.
He was asking about the date…Ugh, Bruce was gonna have to go on a date with him. He sighed and nodded, “I know a place, follow me.” He said motioning for Joesph to follow him, walking faster. He heard him chuckle behind him before he started to follow him.
The two left the studio, walking a couple blocks towards a small restaurant in the middle of the city. Joesph smiled, humming softly at the place. “If dinner was what you wanted why didn’t you pick contestant number two?” Joe asked him, teasingly.
Bruce rolled his eyes, “I just liked your answer better, didn’t mean I’d rather go to an amusement park when I’m hungry.” Joesph laughed again at that but followed Bruce inside.
They got a table and sat down. Bruce hoped they wouldn’t be recognized but they were, their waitress, smiled at Bruce and said, “Hello, Mister Wayne! Who’s this?” She asked him, as if she needed to know. Bruce sighed, “Hello, this is Joesph Kurr.” He said simply, Joesph smiled back at her.
“Nice to meet you, Madam.” She giggled at his words, before taking their orders. Bruce ordered Lobster like he always does. When she left the table, Joesph smiled brighter at him. “Ah, so you do like Lobster!” “I figured all rich people like lobster and I guess I was right.” He said chuckling in amusement.
He was leaning against the table, watching Bruce closely. “Yeah, you were lucky with that..” Bruce said, eyeing “Joesph” suspiciously. “Perhaps I know you better than most people.” “Is that why you picked me? Or was it because I was the only man?”
“Don’t tell me the Bruce Wayne is homosexual! That might make people upset.” He said teasingly, placing his hands on the table. Bruce let out a huff but shook his head, “That’s not why..” “I picked you because-“ because you’re Joker and you would have blown the place up if I didn’t-
“Because I liked your answers, nothing else.” He said, avoiding eye contact. “Ah yes, you told me that but I don’t buy it.” Joesph said shaking his head. He seemed to be genuinely amused by Bruce and how he’s hiding something. Bruce grits his teeth, deciding to not talk anymore.
They get their food and start to eat. Joesph says things here and there, about how fun going on that show was, how interesting it was to see a production and be apart of it, he even mentioned a friend of his getting him on the show.
Bruce scowled at that, remembering what Charles said about his son, Charlie getting Joker onto the show. How annoying. However, Bruce figured Joker didn’t tell Charlie his identity considering Charlie hates him so much.
Joker knows that too, so he wouldn’t risk it by telling him he was going on a date with Batman. He would probably lose it. Bruce can’t hide a smile from the thought though. Joesph seems to notice because he chuckles, “Yeah, my friend is a weird guy but that’s probably why we get along so well.” “So, what about you?” “Got any cool friends? Probably other rich folks.” He asked him, curiously.
Bruce frowned slightly and nodded, “Yes, mostly if you count them as my friends.” “More like coworkers or colleagues.” “I’d only count Lucius Fox as my friend and he’s closer to my parent’s age.” “I don’t have any other friends.” He admits, though he’s questioning in his head why he’s telling Joker this.
Joker hums, “Fair, I don’t have many friends either.” “I say Charlie’s my friend but he’s more of a coworker too.” “I try and keep my distance from him and anyone else.” “It’s more professional that way.” He says causally, leaning back in his chair.
Bruce wants to refute that, he knows that Joker is anything but professional when it comes to his gang or his relationship with Charlie no less. God, it’s even worse than his relationship with Harley. Good thing she left a while ago but it doesn’t seem like Charlie will ever get the hint.
He’s stupidly dense. “Anyways, if you excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.” “I’ll be back in a moment.” Joesph says standing up and practically skipping over to the bathroom. Bruce watches him go, his eyes narrowing.
This was his chance to figure out what Joker wants with him, if this was just to mess with him or if there’s a bigger plan here. Bruce looked out into the night sky through the glass window, no bat signal. Odd, it seems nothing is happening then if Jim hasn’t turned it on.
Bruce stands to go follow Joesph but then the waitress comes back. “Here’s your receipt, just sign it and you’re good to go.” “Have a wonderful night, Mister Wayne.” She says simply before leaving the receipt on the table and walking away.
Bruce nods, “Thank you, you too.” As he then signs it quickly before walking towards the bathroom. Sure, he could have just left right then, but he needed to know what Joker was up to. And he could possibly rob this restaurant if Bruce wasn’t there to stop him.
Bruce opens the door to the restroom, walking inside and noticing Joseph touching up his face at the mirrors. He doesn’t notice Bruce until he walks up behind him. He smiles, “Oh, were you waiting for me?” “Sorry I’ll be done in a minute.” He says simply, as he continues to touch up his face.
Bruce grabs his hand, stopping him and turns him around to face him. “I know it’s you, Joker.” Bruce says, sternly, Joesph’s eyes widen, and he lets out a nervous laugh. “What-?” He asks but stops as Bruce roughly runs his hand down his face, smearing the face paint, revealing white skin underneath the flesh color.
“Hey! What the hell?!” Joker exclaimed, pushing Bruce away from him. “How the hell did you know? Nobody else noticed!” He yelled, clearly angry that his cover had been blown. Bruce glared back at him, “Because I know you, Joker.” “What was your plan? To tell everyone my identity on live tv? You didn’t do that but you must have been planning something-“
Joker looks bewildered, “What?! What are you talking about? I just did that to mess with you! You’re a stupid billionaire why would you think this means anything-?” He asks but then he stops, realization dawning on him. “Bats..?” He asks questioningly.
Bruce’s own eyes widen, oh….he didn’t know. He didn’t know that Bruce was Batman, he was just messing with Bruce Wayne. Now, thanks to Bruce trying to figure out what he was planning, He knows the truth.
Joker then laughs, “Oh, that’s-! Hahahaha!” “You’re- heh…you told me your identity because you thought I already knew!” He chortled, holding his stomach in amusement. Bruce frowned, his hands at his sides, staring back at Joker. “So…you weren’t planning anything?” Bruce asks him
and Joker shakes his head, “No this was just for fun, I heard that the Bruce Wayne was going on a dating show and thought, ha imagine if I go on and try to actually win!” “Plus, the winner gets money, not that I wanted money or anything but my goons need to be paid somehow.”
“So, thought this was a fun way to earn some cash for them.” “Charlie told me his dad could get me on it and i immediately accepted it!” Joker explains and as he does, Bruce awkwardly stands there. He breaks eye contact with Joker, thinking about it again.
It makes more sense for Joker to just to something like this for the fun of it. Bruce had jumped to the conclusion that he was doing this because he knew his identity because he knows Joker would immediately jump on a game show knowing that Batman was there too.
Especially if he could get a date with him afterwards. Bruce felt his face flush in embarrassment, his fists clenched at his sides. Joker smiled in amusement back at him, noticing his embarrassment.
“Aw, you thought I joined because I wanted to go on a date with you?” “Oh Batsy, you know I would if I had known..~” “And now we have!” “So really you got the good ending here, I didn’t have anything evil planned and we got to go on a normal date for once!” He said happily, placing his hands behind him on the sink.
Bruce looked back at Joker, glaring slightly. “I didn’t want to go on a date at all, especially not with you.” “I thought you were planning something and I was gonna stop it that’s the only reason I agreed to this.” Bruce told him, trying to defend himself.
Joker pouted dramatically, “Well that hurts my feelings..” “Did you not have a good time? Maybe we really should have went to the amusement park!” Bruce groaned at that, glaring at him. Joker chuckled at his reaction, leaning further back.
“Look…let’s just pretend this never happened, don’t tell anyone about this, and especially don’t say anything about my identity.” He told him, seriously. Joker nodded, “Of course! I wouldn’t want to hurt your reputation…~” he purred, smirking back at him.
Bruce let out a sigh of relief. Joker then pulled out a make up kit from his purse, When did he have a purse on him? And he started to touch up his face again. “once I’m done fixing this mess you did to my face, I’ll leave and we can go our separate ways.” He said causally, smiling back at Bruce in the mirror.
Bruce nodded awkwardly, and stood watching him as he did. Once he was done, he placed the make up back in his purse and turned back to Bruce. “Alright, I’m ready.”
Bruce stared back at him, seeing him turn into a completely different, normal, person was so strange but he looked good. Bruce couldn’t help himself from thinking that, he just did. He looked nice and he was smiling back at Bruce, his green eyes reminding him of who he was underneath.
However, that didn’t seem to stop him from grabbing Jokers shoulders and pulling him into a kiss. Joker’s eyes widened and he stiffened up, shocked by the sudden kiss but he relaxed and started to kiss back. Bruce couldn’t rationalize this moment in his mind, just that Joker looked nice and he wanted to kiss him.
He definitely wasn’t thinking about earlier, about his answers to those questions and how he just knew. Joker just knew him. Bruce wanted to know him too. So, he thought that this would be a good start.