Work Text:
Charlie Kirk circle jerk: “I support gun violence”
And then he was shot 47 times in the neck, everyone gasped and started screaming and running as Charlie Kirk circle jerk fell to the ground.
“Look up there!”
A rando pointed at the roof to someone holding a gun and a tall lady was next to them.
Another bullet and they both started running
(Circles pierce the veil)
They slide off the pipes on the roof and hit the ground running getting into a car
“LILY, DRIVE! LILY QUIT SCREWING AROUND”
Lily hurried into the front seat fumbling the keys as Erica Kirk got into the back
“SHIT”
“Lily. Drive.-“
“IM TRYING”
“Lily PLEASE”
Lily slammed the key into the key pocket thingy
“LILY. DRIVEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
And with that Lily slammed her foot on the gas’s thingy speeding away
They sped away to a hotel safe from danger, they looked on the news and saw Charlie Kirk circle jerk EVERYWHERE. No one had any idea it was Erica nor Lily.
“I think we made it..”
Erica said laying on the bed letting out a huge sigh of relief.
You may be wondering WHY would Charlie Kirk circle jerk’s wife kill him? Well, when Erica would wake up in the middle of the night with her head in her hands she would realize she was nothing more than his wife. And when she’d think about Lily, all those years ago. She stood face to face with “I told you so..”
Lily had been at their wedding begging Erica to please not marry him, that they could run away together.. but Erica went anyways. Too afraid of her own sexuality.
She regretted it and reached back out to Lily and they were dating in secret but if Mr Jircle (short for his last name) ever found out, their lives would be over, so they decided to shoot him.
Lily looked at Erica and smiled
“I’ll be right back my bitch.”
“Okay daddy.”
Erica kissed Lily’s cheek and Lily got up and left, Erika had a bad feeling though and followed in secret.
Lily went to a bar as it was almost midnight and she was almost 21, she sat down next to someone and they raised their hand.
“Waiter,”
The waiter was jerking it behind the counter
“get me an angel shot.”
The waiter immediately looked up and was shocked
“For who..”
“For me stupid.”
“Okay socks.”
Lily looked up and saw sock’s face
“OH MY GOD IM CUMMING UGHHH”
Socks was about to speak but his alarm started going off
“why is socks vibrator going off?!”
“ITS NOT A VIBRATOR ITS MY ALARM”
Socks yelled back, he turned his alarm off and when he looked back up Lily grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a kiss and grabbed his fat butt and bent him backwards onto the table still kissing him with tongue.
Erica jumped out from behind one of socks coworkers
“YOU CHEATING SCUMBACK, GERARD WAY WOULD NOT SUPPORT THIS.”
Lily shot her head up
“GERARD WAY WOULD TOO ERICA KIRKY.”
“It’s Eric now BITCH”
She whipped out a gun and shot at them but socks grabbed Lily taking cover under the table and then they ran out dodging bullets left and right, socks put on his motorcycle helmet and hoped onto his motorcycle, Lily put hers on and held onto Socks tightly as they sped off.
The next morning when they woke up in their shared bed with their toes interlocked there was a knock at the door.
Lily opened the door and was immediately detained and dragged away.
“NO DONT TAKE MY DADDY RIZZ TWIZZ”
They didn’t listen taking her away anyways. They knocked Lily out and threw her in the car.
When Lily came too she had a potato bag on her head.
“Socks is this some kinda kink of yours?”
Someone ripped off her bag, it was her arch nemeses Aster.
“Long time no see Lily.”
“Aster.. LET ME GO YOU POTATO BITCH, YOU POTATO EATING MOTHERFUCKER”
Madi came in from the side holding a needle and came up to Lily
“Take that labu-BITCH”
She injected the lily with the Labubu injection thingy I dunno and Lily started screaming as ears grew out of her head and she grew a nub of a tail
Suddenly the side of the building blew up and socks slid in on his motorcycle
“GIVE ME BACK MY RIZZ TWIZ.”
Socks slammed right into aster and Madi and they fell to the floor, socks quickly united lily and they both ran off not having time to get back on the motorcycle.
“COME BACK HER LABU-BITCH!!”
Madi yelled
“COME BACK HER”
Aster jerked in as they ran after them, suddenly a helicopter flew over and Erica jumped down landing on her hands and feet before standing up and opening her arms, time slowed down and the air had petals and the sky was suddenly pink faded as she said
“Lily!! I want you back im so sorry for how I acted take me back!”
Lily ran over and it almost looked like she’d run into her arms but she slapped her
“YEAH WELL I DONT WANT YOU BITCH”
Lily said running over her holding socks Hands as they ran
They run off into the sunset and run into Nico and nova
“GET INNN”
Nova yelled, socks got in and reached out to Lily and they where about to grab hands when suddenly vox from hazbin hotel showed up and Lily pulled socks down onto the ground and aster caught him and Lily ran off with vox and started sloppily making out with him
Aster looked down at socks
“I’ve missed you baby girl”
“HEHE”
Madi cheered
Socks slapped aster
“PUT ME DOWN YOU 67 WHORE”
Lily looked over
“Ooooo socks is about to be SI-SI-SI-SINGLESSEEEEEE”
Time skip
Everyone was around Charlie Kirk’s grave and was jerking it while dancing and Labubu phonk plays