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Paul was always the clumsy one. The stupid one. Patryck was clumsy and certainly flawed too, but compared to Paul, he always seemed perfect, superior and condescending.
Paul didn't even graduate high school, he dropped and left for the army. He felt like he belonged there. He was not into strategy and smarts, so being ordered around and used as canon folder was fine by him. He did not really have anyone to live for, anyway. He wasn't very close to his parents. No other family, no real friends, and certainly no girlfriend.
One day, during a zombie apocalypse, an accident left him with only one valid eye. Since then, he had hard time understanding distances, and obviously couldn't aim or shoot anything. So he became a mechanic. He was somehow gifted. He had no idea of how he did it, but with some ductape, nails and glue, he could fix anything.
In his late 20's, he met à young Norwegian guy, named Tord. He was ambitious, was always talking about forming his own Army, and taking over the world. Before Paul knew it, he became this man's right arm.
Patryck, after finishing school, wasn't sure where to go. He could have done anything, considering his more that correct grades. He could have been a doctor, could have been a lawyer. He liked order. He liked Justice. But not like that. Not in the painfully normal way, the one that his parents pressured him into for his whole life. He wanted something different.
He left for a military school, which seemed like the weirdest choice. He was fragile and delicate, and wasn't patriotic enough to die for his country. And that wasn't his goal. He wasn't sure what his goal was. But he didn't to fight, he wanted to learn. War strategy, how to lead groups to victory.
It made sense, when he hears about this Norwegian Communist Army, the "Red Army". It was still very small at the time. But he joined. He finally understood what was his role in the big story of life ; changing things. Seriously changing this world. He was smart and quickly made himself a name. The Army Leader, Tord, soon noticed him.
Tord introduced the two to each other, out of the blues, some random day. "Hey Pat, have you met Paul ? Paul, here's Patryck. You'll be sharing a room, this secret base is already costing us too much and no way in hell I'm paying one room per soldier." That was all the two men remember about how they met. But they also remember how they never really left each other since.
Paul hated Patryck. He was so uptight, so strict with the rules, so serious about everything.
Patryck hated Paul. He was too forgetting, never taking one single thing seriously, and he smoked so goddamn much.
That's what they thought, that's what they desperately wanted to think, but they couldn't bring themselves to leave each other's side, even for a second. To them, it was like a silent agreement : "I don't like you, understand you or even respect you, but I enjoy having you around. You're fun to hang with".
They didn't know it yet, but what they had in each other was the most precious thing to have in the world : a friend. A best friend.
No one in the red army base could think of one name without the other. It was always Paul & Patryck. No one, even them, truly understood why, or even how they were friends. They were always bickering or fighting. Sometimes even throwing hands, but in the end of the day, they had each other's back.
They always got into troubles ; accidentally releasing prisoners, causing (another) zombie apocalypse, crashing every plane they've been given (that's 7 whole planes), causing an electricity [panne] in the whole base...
But recently, Red Leader (Tord's new name), was on the edge, because of how much his "old friends" refused to cooperate. Paul and Patrick had already been demoted from right arms to cleaning [things,] they were on thin ice, and they knew it.
So stealing and loosing Red Leader's time travel device was a really, really, really bad thing.
They somehow managed to get away with it at first, but one day, when two of them were cleaning some corridors floor, they heard Red Leader, cursing to some sergeant about "finding the time machine thieves and make them PAY".
Patrick did not hesitate, he grabbed Paul's arm, and ran towards the nearest storage room. Red Leader couldn't see them here.
"- Hey, Pat ?
- Yes ?
- Do you think he knows it's us ?
- I don't know. Let's hope not.
- What if he does ?
- It's the end. He tolerated our mistakes for way too long already, he's not going to forgive us this time. We're good for prison. Or death.
- Damn...
- Yeah, damn."
Red Leader was getting closer. "You don't understand, Sergeant ! That's the very last thing I needed right now ! It would better NOT be Paul and Patryck. I've been wanting to shoot their stupid, stupid faces for so, so long. RAH !"
He was getting closer. And he was enraged. When he's like that, he tends on getting even more trigger happy than his usual is. The sergeant walking with him will probably end up with a bullet or two in her cranium. Not that she will annoy him in any way, Red Leader simply enjoys shooting people.
Paul and Patryck knew exactly how and when they would end, if he knew where they were hiding. But how could he guess it, right ?
Wait.
"- Paul ?
- Yeah ?
- Where's our janitors cart ?"
Silence.
It stayed outside, in the corridor.
Red Leader had a shitload of flaws, but he was not stupid. The two soldiers knew it. He would see the cart, recognise it's theirs, wonder why it's here, notice the storage room door, and...
They were doomed.
A cold sweat ran down Patryck's neck. He was going to die, here, in the storage room of a secret army, shoot it the head, because his friend stole something from a dictator.
He deserved better, he deserved a more glorious death, damn, he deserved to live way older !
His breath was getting heavier. Too many thoughts, centered around the dreadful fear of death.
Paul noticed it. He was a little more delusional. Maybe Red Leader wouldn't notice the cart, after all. Maybe he would assume they simply went to the bathroom, or went outside to take a smoke...
Smoke. Damn, he really could've used a smoke right now.
Paul machinally grabbed a cigarette pack and a lighter from his pocket, grabbed one, lit it, and slowly inhale the smoke, like it was the first in a year.
"- Are you seriously going to smoke right now ?
- Yeah, 'calms my nerves, y'know.
- You know I can't stand that smell. Turn it off.
- Just chill, okay ? Everything's gonna be fi-
- FINE ? Are you SERIOUS ? YOU kept messing up everything in this army since I know you, YOU got us in a bad situation and YOU worsened it and now we're going to DIE ! We're going to DIE, Paul !"
Tears were strolling down his cheeks. He stared at Paul, during a few awkward second, before sitting down and crying in his hands, curled up against the wall. He was never one to show much emotions, Paul never saw him that upset. But it did not panic him. He was relaxed, breathing peacefully, inhaling and exhaling that smoke from his cigarette.
"Don't sob too loudly, Red Leader's going to hear us.
- So ? He's gonna see the cart anyway.
- Maybe he won't pay too much attention to it.
- How can you be so chill about it ? Why aren't you at least slightly panicked about it ? Our life depends on whether he's going to pay attention to this cart or not. And it's entirely your fault.
- Panicking and sobbing won't get us anywhere okay ?
- Oh my god. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm going to-
- Shut up, still you ?
- ... Hmm going to die.... I'm gonna die... I..."
Paul sighed. The steps from outside were getting closer.
"- Stop crying. He's going to hear you."
Patryck didn't bother answering, he was too busy spiraling over how they were going to die.
Paul sat to his level and grabbed his shoulder.
"- We're gonna be fine, okay ?
- We are very much not.
- We are going to be fine, if you breath and stop crying, okay ?"
Paul was speaking more softly. For once in his life, he looked like he was showing... Compassion ?
"-C'mon Pat. And if it's really the end, do you want to spend it crying ?
- I really wish I could stop it, but I can't- I can't help it, I... I... I'm so scared.
- Fair enough. Just... Hm... What do you usually think about, to relax ?
- I never relax."
It was true. Patryck was basically living off pressure.
"- You do realize it's a life or death situation ?
- Sorry. I guess it's not going to be all your fault after all."
The steps were getting closer. Paul had to find a solution, and quickly.
"- Patryck... I'm really sorry, but we don't have a choice.
- What are you talking about ?
- I have to, okay ? For us.
- For-"
Paul placed his hand behind Pat's head, feeling the soft locks under his fingers.
"- Paul ? What are you doing ?
- Helping you calm down.
- By ?
- ... Sorry.
- By ?"
With no further talking, Paul pressed their mouths together. He hated to admit it, but he had wanted to do it for a long time. He was agreably surprised to notice Patryck's lips were the softest he had the opportunity to kiss, in his entire life.
Patryck, at first, tensed up even more. But after a few seconds, he gave in, slightly opening his mouth, and wraping his arms around Paul's back.
The mechanic didn't waste a second, a slid his tongue in Patryck's mouth, softly caressing his. They kept it this way for about 7.82 seconds, before pulling away, slightly breathless, staring at each other. Before Paul could say anything, Patryck leaned in and kissed him again. It was more direct, the immediately intertwined their tongues. It was messy, but so damn agreable.
Paul pressed his body closer, trapping Pat to the wall.
They kept going for what seemed like a blissful eternity, until Red Leader barged in.
"YOU TWO ! Did you steal my ti- ... Wait, are you like... Making out ?"
They three stared at each other, before Red Leader bursted out laughing.
"Oh my god Sergeant ! Can you believe it ? These two imbeciles are *actually* together ! Oh my god !"
He turned away and left, his laugh reasoning across the corridors. Visibly, he was so amused by the scene he completely forgot about the whole "stolen time machine" thing.
The two men stayed as they were, before Patryck dried the saliva around his mouth with the back of his arm, while Paul quickly pulled away, getting up from the floor.
"- So.
- Yeah.
- About what happened.
- Yeah.
- We'll Huh... Talk it out later, okay ? For now let's just. Hm. Pretend nothing happened.
- Sure."
They then went back to cleaning the floors, in complete silence.