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matthew sighed softly, resting his head back against carlos’ chest. he always felt so safe sitting with his boyfriend like this.
just a couple of hours earlier he’d been discharged from the hospital—finally decided that he was stable enough to go home and not attempt again.
ever since, his partner hasn’t let him be alone. asking so many questions, making sure he was okay, overall just pampering him. he loved it—relished in it. so much attention, all from one man.
sure, carlos would always give him attention, but this was special. he was treated like royalty.
“what are you thinking about, mi vida?” matthew hears from behind him, a familiar voice that brings him out of his thoughts. lately, carlos had been asking that question a lot.
“mmm, nothing in particular,” matthew yawned and turned around his body, shifting around until he was sitting on cuba’s lap, head resting on the other man’s shoulder, head facing the headboard of the bed carlos had been sitting cross-legged on.
a moment of calm silence passed between them.
“i was scared to death when the hospital called me.” carlos broke the silence.
“i thought i was about to lose my whole world. lose you,” he rested one hand on the canadian’s head, the other on his back. carlos leaned down slightly, pressing a soft kiss to matthew’s temple.
he glanced down sideways, to matthew’s arms wrapped around him. his wrists still had those bandages—the doctors said it would take a while for them to fully close up. never again would he leave his boyfriend alone with anything sharp.
“i don’t want to lose you. ever.” carlos felt his throat close up, thinking about how panicked he was. how deathly afraid he was that he might’ve just lost the man he cherished more than anything. he remembers feeling so lost. so anguished. so angry.
angry at himself for not noticing, for not being there when he should’ve been. he held matthew tighter.
matthew stayed silent. carlos already told him that hundreds of times ever since he arrived at the hospital that night, but still—his words meant more than he would ever know.
“… i don’t wanna lose you either,” matthew muttered, burying his face into carlos’ neck.
“it’s odd,” matthew continued,
“how in just a few moments someone’s life can just be gone. it can all end so quickly…” matthew sighed again, staring off somewhere distant.
“don’t say things like that, corazon. don’t ever think like that.” carlos scolded softly, more out of concern than anything.
“te amo,” carlos whispered softly, nuzzling into matthew’s neck, trying to hide his face that slowly let tears fall. these last few days have been his scariest. he really needed to let some emotions out.
matthew too, let a tear fall.
“i love you more. nothing will ever change that.” matthew promised, letting his eyes close.