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The cafeteria filled with laughter and a warmth presented by the way people interacted with each other. It was a normal day in college, everyone felt the joy, everyone felt the harmonisation, everyone fit in.
Except for Ricky.
The quiet Chinese exchange student, always dressed neatly, always polite, always distant, sat all alone in the corner of the room. Nose straight into his study books with nearly his tongue sticking out.
His Korean wasn’t the best, his reading better than speaking, which was always hesitant. Words took time to leave his mouth and conversations moved quicker than he could process. When a sentence finally formed, the rest already moved on to the next topic.
It bothered him but he didn’t make it his biggest priority. His goal stayed the same either way, finish college in Korea before going back to China.
He knew the consequences for going to college in Korea. He knew he would struggle with the language and he knew how lonely these 4 years would feel like. It was all his choice and he learned to accept it.
Through the chaos in the cafeteria he didn’t even notice a ball of paper being thrown on his table. It took him some time to notice and process the unknown shape on his table.
With confusion in his eyes he looked around the cafeteria but no one seemed to bat an eye on him. A frown appeared on his face but also his curiosity rose from deep down.
His hands gripped onto the paper and opened it to reveal something written in Chinese.
— I wish you all the best in your study. xxx
Something in his mind clicked and his heart made a jump, a smile slowly appearing. He felt overwhelmed by the encouraging words that felt like home but it made his heart melt, which was a first time in years.
Questions flew around his mind, he wanted to know who wrote these words, who even payed attention to him. Ricky always thought he was invisible to everyone and that no one noticed him.
But he was so wrong.
Gyuvin stood on the other side of the cafeteria, watching Ricky unfold the piece of paper and it did him so good when he saw that smile appear.
Gyuvin was the light of the party. Everyone knew his name, everyone came to him for a good laugh, everyone received happiness by only looking at him. Yet he always found time to invest most of his energy in Ricky.
The first day that Gyuvin saw Ricky was on their very first school day. Ricky stood out by many things. The way he dressed, his hair like an anime character and eye makeup that made him look like an angel.
He sat at the back of the room and Gyuvin immediately had the urge to sit next to the mysterious boy but his friends never let him. Without knowing, Ricky just went with his first school day but Gyuvin never let him go out of sight.
Squinting his eyes, translating all the papers, avoiding big groups of people. Gyuvin saw it all happen in front of him but he quickly realised the barrier between them.
One is Korean and one is Chinese.
That didn’t stop Gyuvin. He noticed the way Ricky took notes in his notebook of every announcement that was being made, the way he wore headphones every time he stepped foot in school, the way Ricky always held onto a learning Korean book. These weeks passed by and Gyuvin could confirm that Ricky is indeed Chinese.
At first it was curiosity.
Ricky was Gyuvin’s motivation to go to school. He wanted to know what Ricky was up to, to hopefully get a clue on what to say to the other.
Gyuvin quickly started learning Chinese and he took it very serious. He told no one about it. He wanted to explore it all by himself, to do it all without any judgement from the outside world.
Then it was admiration.
Once Gyuvin understood basic Chinese, he tried to deepen his knowledge and find encouraging words and sentences. Having a normal conversation was important to him but he wanted to make sure that he could express his admiration to Ricky.
This all bloomed in his chest and could feel how heavy it started to get, to hide for years in silence while not knowing the outcome.
But Gyuvin would do anything for Ricky.
Now finally in their graduation year, Gyuvin had enough courage to express his feelings towards Ricky, but he wanted to start small. He wanted to make sure he wouldn’t overwhelm Ricky.
While Ricky wasn’t looking, he threw the paper onto the table and vanished away in the crowd.
If only Ricky knew how nervous Gyuvin was but still he had no clue on who it came from.
The next couple of days Ricky started to notice a pattern. Every day a new piece of paper at places he would’ve never thought about. He didn’t want to admit it but everyday he looked forward to receiving a piece of paper but he didn't show that much excitement for it yet.
Then the letters started appearing.
— For you.
Ricky frowned slightly and opened the letter.
— I took it one step further because you deserve to have that smile on your face. It lets me know I’m doing my job right now ;)
Ricky caught himself smiling so he dropped the smile and looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to him. Still no one that even dared to look into his direction. He was so confused and was very eager to know who kept on giving Chinese writings to him
Ricky read it three times and scanned the letter. No name. No explanation. Just that. A mysterious person that made Ricky’s life so much better.
Gyuvin looked up from behind his book and saw Ricky put the letter in his bag. Another successful day and Gyuvin now has so much more in store for the letters.
The letters continued, every day. Always in Chinese, which got better each time.
— You looked beautiful yesterday in your suit. <3
— Don’t forget your umbrella. Last time you were soaked when you came at school.
— Don’t let the stress beat you down. You deserve the rest. xx
— Happy birthday!! I hope you will have a great day!! <3
Ricky knew this person was genuine with their letters. Each day they appeared at the most random places. In his locker, in his books, at the table he always sits at in the cafeteria or even in his jacket. It lighted up his days.
He so wondered who it was.
He started lingering in classrooms a little longer. Speaking up a little more, looking straight up while walking through the hallways. He tried to be more seen by people. That made him anxious but his nerves also did something good to him. It made him view his days differently.
Who had the time to write to him in his own language?
Who had the time to learn a whole new language in that short amount of time.
Who even cared enough about him?
Ricky was so into his thoughts that he didn’t even notice a letter sliding under his door. It took him 5 seconds to process the paper laying there, to process that his secret admirer might be at the other side of the door.
With no thoughts he jumped from his bed and ran to the door, nearly breaking his door when opening it. Sadly no one stood in front of the door, not a single soul in the hallway. He looked around and by surprise he saw a keychain laying on the ground.
“A deer?” Ricky picked up the keychain and showed a faint smile. “How cute…”
Even tho Ricky was sad he couldn’t catch his admirer, he just got one step closer to who it is. He just gotta look for the owner of the keychain.
Back on his bed he opened the letters and immediately smiled when reading the comforting words.
— My life got so much better when you appeared. I promise that soon enough you will know who I am.
Ricky needed to know. He was determined to know who it was.
The next couple of days Ricky started using a couple of methods to find out who’s keychain it is. He looked for people that wore stuff with deers on it, but that was no one. Than he started to listen to other people’s conversations, maybe they would talk about deers but that wasn’t the case. Than he started to look at people’s faces, some people resemble certain animals but Ricky just couldn’t find a good match that felt right.
Weeks went by and Ricky slowly lost hope. All these letters were promises but the end never seemed to be reached. Not that he was giving up on his daily happiness but he got frustrated that he just didn’t know who it was.
Luckily one evening it flipped around.
He returned to his dorm, earlier than usual. When he reached his room he saw his room slightly opened, hearing soft muttering from inside. His first instinct was to panic because someone just broke into his room but when he heard Chinese words he knew it.
He felt it.
He quietly opened the door and was met by Gyuvin sitting at his desk, tongue pressed against his cheek, a Chinese dictionary app open on his phone, papers scattered everywhere, practice sheets filled with mistakes.
Gyuvin didn’t notice Ricky at first. He was so concentrated, so frustrated. He kept on whispering to himself with all the mistakes he made. He just couldn’t get the right feeling onto the paper.
Ricky stepped inside and the floor creaked. Gyuvin jumped, nearly knocking over the chair. With shock he looked at Ricky, a silence falling over them.
Ricky’s eyes fell onto a paper that wrote:
— I like you.
And his heart skipped a beat, a puzzle piece finally falling into place.
“You… wrote them?” Ricky asked softly, in Korean.
“Yeah… I wanted you to feel seen, to feel less alone.” Gyuvin swallowed. “I know Korean is hard and people aren’t necessarily always kind to you about it… they’re talking too fast, loud… so I wanted to turn it around…”
Ricky couldn’t believe his ears. He perfectly understood and he felt so, indeed, seen. It really hit him hard that someone would take so much time into making him comfortable.
Gyuvin got up and handed Ricky a letter, hands shaking from the nerves. Ricky took the letter and closed the door, to make their space feel more private.
“You’ve been studying Chinese… for me?”
Gyuvin nodded. “It’s not very good yet.”
“I think it’s really good. You really improved.” Ricky said while opening the letter.
— I like you Ricky. I’ve liked you for a while now and I didn’t wanna lose you after we graduate. Sorry that I took a long time to approach you but I wanted to make you feel comfortable. I hope you will give me chance.
“You’re crazy.” Ricky whispered but loud enough for Gyuvin to hear it.
“I am…?” Gyuvin questioned if he did it right. He wanted to drop through the floor because he really felt as if he made a mistake, as if what he wrote wasn’t good, as if the feelings weren’t mutual at all.
“I like you too Gyuvin.” Ricky said in Chinese and Gyuvin’s eyes lighted up, he was so happy that he knew what Ricky just said.
“Wait really?” Gyuvin’s mouth nearly dropped.
“You think I’m joking? These past months were amazing because your letters made my days so much better. I felt seen and I wanted to really know who wrote the letters, and who’s key chain this is.” Ricky held it up with a smile and Gyuvin gasped.
“I thought I lost it!” Gyuvin tried to grab it but tripped over his feet, falling against Ricky, faces just inches away from each other. “I-I’m so sorry…”
Ricky just smiled and sneaked a quick kiss on Gyuvin’s cheek. Gyuvin backed away and looked at Ricky with his eyes widened, hand reaching to his cheek.
“You’re cute.” Ricky giggled and hand the keychain to Gyuvin, before embracing him into a hug. Gyuvin felt so overwhelmed with what was happening but being into Ricky’s arms made him melt. “Thank you for caring about me, I really appreciate it.”
“You’re so worth it.” Gyuvin smiled. “And I’m sorry for sneaking in…”
“Yeah how did you get in?” Ricky frowned.
“Your code is your birthday… it was an easy guess. You might think no one would know but I did.”
“You really are crazy. I like that so much.” Ricky admitted.
“I”m glad. I’ll continue tho, you need to get letters everyday and now that I’ve entered your world, it will be placed at even more random places.” Gyuvin chuckled.
“I’ll gladly find them.”