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Martyn didn’t know what was happening anymore. After so much time in that town everything simply weaved together in his memory, forming a very unreliable memory of the order of how things happened.
When was it that Ren decided the chaos of the town was enough for him and left Martyn alone in it? When was it that he told the other man that he lost all of his nobility and status? When was it that he found out about Scott being a vampire? How long ago was it that he realized he couldn’t trust Abolish? How long ago was it that he realized why he wasn’t the slightest interested in women?
The worst part was he couldn’t remember when he realized he had feelings for Ren. If Martyn was being honest, he could hardly wrap his head around it. It simply made sense… even with his so called ‘cursed tongue’ that man was an angel created by the gods. He was perfect, plain and simple.
If he was back home he would’ve been more disowned than he already was; whatever little love his father had left for him finally leaving his body. He assumed he should be relieved about it — the reason why women hardly ever piqued his interest finally solved — but he wasn’t. Quite frankly he was annoyed he didn’t figure it out sooner. Even more so, that it added another layer to that never ending darkness that clouded his thoughts whenever he thought of himself.
It had been getting better in Oakhurst, he had found companionship in the people there — as eccentric as they were — but when he realized that… gods did it get worse than it ever did before.
Then, like a glimmer of a candle in the night, Ren appeared once more. His beloved Ren… the simple thought of him could make his thoughts cloud up and his heart race so quickly.
Before he realized it, Martyn grabbed his wooden stake (a safety measure of course) and headed towards the other man’s cabin. He never blamed the other for deciding to leave the town, hell he was close to it himself, he was just saddened at the loss of the company. It wasn’t as if it was a long walk either, maybe 15 minutes, but he preferred when he was in closer proximity.
He was about to let himself into the other man’s house when the door opened for him, revealing Ren himself. The man’s glasses were balanced crookedly on his nose, to the point where Martyn wondered how effective they truly were, and the handle of a rusty axe was leaning against his shoulder.
Martyn stood, temporarily stunned, before regaining his composure.
“Oh! Good morning me laddie” Ren said, looking down with a grin as he noticed the man.
The younger stood agape for a moment before nodding, managing to conjure up a small smile. Whatever the reason was he had for coming was lost the moment Ren walked out. For the life of him he couldn’t figure out if he loved or hated the feeling.
“Mornin’ Ren” he murmured, taking a step back to let the other exit the doorway. His cheeks flushed at the momentary closeness, turning his face away from the other man quickly. Gods he was pathetic… he felt like whatever bravado he had with the townspeople dissipated the moment he saw Ren.
“I wondering if you uh-“ Martyn took a deep breath, tensing his hands. “If you wanted to take a walk with me…?”
He cringed into himself, gods that was more pathetic than he imagined; at least in his imagination he had some semblance of dignity.
A brief flash of confusion darted across the other’s face before he nodded. Of course he agreed, of course there wasn’t any reason for Martyn to worry, of course it’s all his paranoia.
Martyn smiled back up at the older man, a slight flush spreading in his cheeks. He hesitantly grabbed Ren’s hand, ignoring how his heart danced at the feeling, and led him to the path in the forest.
He took a deep breath, stepping off of the path and into the deeper woods. If anything were to happen there then they might as well be doomed; but it was a fate Martyn was willing to accept. If he was to vocalize his godforsaken feelings he would much rather it be in the middle of the woods where no one can hear them.
As understanding as the other townspeople would likely be if they did hear him, it wasn’t a risk he wanted to take. It took weeks of convincing himself to actually act on his feelings, if anyone heard he would probably die on the spot. So, as peculiar as it was, the dense forest was the only place he could think of that there wasn’t as large of a chance at being overheard.
After venturing what he deemed deep enough, he leaned against the trunk of a tree. The bark that jutted out against the trunk dug deep into his skin, a pain that was more annoying than anything else. The man took a deep breath, closing his eyes.
“Martyn…?” He heard his companion ask, a tone of concern that made Martyn’s heart beat faster. Gods, he almost never heard him use his first name… it was beautiful coming from him.
“I’m alright, Ren” he replied, looking up slightly to meet the other man’s eyes. “I have something I would like to tell you…”
He dug his nails into his arms, hard enough to draw blood, before continuing. He hoped to the gods above that he wouldn’t lose the other man after this. He couldn’t even fathom being without him anymore, at the very least as friends.
“I…” he starts, digging his nails in deeper. “I um…” the man takes a breath, closing his eyes before continuing. “Ren- would you be appalled if I said I wanted to be romantically involved with you…?”
Martyn winced at his own words. This Jess not going as he planned it too and he hated it; hated the whole feeling. He could hardly bare processing Ren’s reaction. Gods, in his fantasies this went infinitely better…
He looked up to see a faint pink across the other’s cheeks; he couldn’t decide if that was in or against his favor but he hoped it was in it. Ren’s mouth was parted slightly, his brows furrowed in slight confusion.
It took what felt like forever for his words to fully process with the other; his face morphing into sudden realization. He took a step closer to Martyn, grasping his face with his hands. The blonde felt his cheeks heat up as he made eye contact with Ren.
“Now why would I be disgusted at that, my laddie.”
Marytn’s thoughts short circuited the moment he said that. Was he really implying what he thought he was…?
“I-“ he starts, struggling to find the words. “Are you saying you…?”
The older man nodded, his expression softening.
Gods he meant it didn’t he…? Martyn could hardly believe it, his eyes welling up with tears as he smiled.
He hesitated a moment before he hugged the other man. Burying his face into his chest as his tears rolled down his cheeks.
Ren titled the younger’s chin up to face him, a soft smiled gracing his features.
Before he even realized it, Martyn kissed him, soft and quick, pulling away before the other could react. The moment he realized, he apologized quickly.
“I- I’m sorry- I should’ve-“ before Martyn could finish, he was kissing Ren. He was actually kissing Ren…. Never in his life did he think it would actually happen.
By the time he pulled away, his heart was racing and he could hardly believe what just happened.
“Thank you, Ren” he murmured, nod voice barely above a whisper.
“Of course” the older replied, a soft smile on his lips. “I had been waiting a while for that dontchya know”
Martyn rolled his eyes, the blush that ran across his face deepening. “Of course you were…. Let’s go back to town, shall we?” He stepped back, bowing playfully with a hand extended to the older man. Laughing as the other took it.
And to think he was worried just 10 minutes before…