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Mason
He was openly bisexual. He didn't know that but he was
–theover-soul
Your teeth are a gift from God and you can sink them into other people's [my] flesh by the way
–prettybearbutch
Fake idgafer, I saw you yearning
–pervertedhound
"you'd do that for me?"
Oh god, let's use our brains for a second, I'd do ANYTHING for you
–pervertedhound
I think I could survive truly horrific circumstances if I had a crush on someone there
–mr_froodo
Me and the bad bitch I pulled by being a good dog
–oldmanyaois
"omg you remembered"
of course I did, I have a file on you and I'm criminally insane
–meishato
People who disapprove of lying simply do not have a storyteller's soul
–richard57941301
Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already
–systole_
Uh. Bro what's with the diagonal red lines on your face? Wait a minute. Oh shit are you anime blushing cuz you're in love w me bro??? It's ok dude u can tell me.
–amygdalan-arm
I make his eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I'm just annoying.
–rynrawrrr
Put those big brown eyes away dude now is NOT the time
–devouringink
Too bad sun tzu ain't got a chapter for when the enemy is yourself
– da mandem
A fictional guy should only be made blonde to signify that there's something wrong with him
–a-nywherebut-here
A lobotomy wouldn't even affect me
–chillextremist
C'mon child safety lid you know it's me
–o-lanterns
Hey I breached containment if you wanna get drinks later
–billaric
(suffering the clear and obvious ramifications of my voluntary actions) once again God torments me for no purpose but sick amusement
–curseworm
Is this a kink? Because I think I have it.
–thicctarus
No babe you're good. It's just your traumatizing back story that you told like a stand up comedy routine surprised me a lil bit
–girlsmeettheinternet
I am nooooot locked the fuck in. I'm locked the fuck out. Call the locksmith.
–wuntrum
WHAT THE FUCK IS NONCHALANT? I was born to take a sword through the chest for you
–abernathyvalois
White collar crime? Nah, spiked collar crime. As soon as I figure out how to get off this leash I'm gonna start biting people
–homunculus-arguement
Good boy but in the way you praise a hunting dog after you have it gore something
–ghost-faces
Biting is a love language. No I will not elaborate
–disc80s
*eats someone alive* now that was a little too much loving
–yourdeaddagger
You expect me to act like a normal human being? I'm wearing a turtleneck
–sensualthoughtsofstevebuscemi
The haters try to put me in a crate at night
–akashicrecord
Not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (so devoted the lines blur)
–kigiom
Brain fog isn't even that accurate of a term it looks like silent hill up there
–spookehgirl
Took him to a rage room and he started hitting ME
–popitforpoppa
Ass or tits? Bro his right hook .im bleedi–
–skinnytuna
I like my man mean as hell... Like... Bro... He barely likes me. I knowwww he don't fuck with you.
–daddytwenty
I need to bite that man and shake him around with my teeth like a rabid dog
–sadderlizards
Once I get taken out back and shot I'll be fine
–watermotif
Dude can you stop being consumed with the darkness for five fucking seconds and deal with the situation at hand?
–gozutrucker69
Can I stick my tongue in your guilt complex?
–sapphling
I'm here bae if you need oral support... I mean moral support. Fuck.
–noty3ss
Pros and cons of dating me are ironically both my mouth
–tracilordss
They hate me because I'm gay :/ also I have been murdering the locals but mostly because of the gay thing
–SLEEP
The eighth love language is being a menace, a nuisance, the most insistent annoyance in someone else's life, ever present, always poking, prodding, teasing. I'm on you like moss on a rock because I care.
–galacticidiots
When the devil can't reach you, he'll send you an avoidant boy to fall in love with
We on the same freakuency
–dom_sux
Can you put the blanket over my cage I wanna take a nap
–crybabybuick
Talking to him isn't enough I need to live inside his white blood cells and protect him
–greenailpolish
Sorry for curling up at your feet and whimpering like an injured dog...
–oatwhiskers
I'd suck the tattoos right off that guy, I'd clean him off like a whiteboard
–raytoroapologist
(after being beat up) you should see the other guy -he was really hot
–mazculinity
You'd be amazed at how many times I've fucked around without finding a single thing out
–jjdemonic
Sorry I can't shut the fuck up do you still wanna fuck me?
–disgustinggf
Men be like "Ok, you wanna know the truth?" and then lie even harder
–jynxbby
Don't look at my fucking boner when we fight
–zygoats-deactivated20140731
Most fidget toys do nothing for me. My sensory need is to destroy.
–drdevonprince
Sorry about the chaos, I needed attention
–cdyrnkn
Actually I deserve to have glowing yellow eyes and teeth a little sharper than normal. I earned it.
–foxfolktalks
I know you can feel our soul tie you avoidant loser
–his4everz
Velcro attachment style (if we separate I'll be loud and annoying about it)
–rllydu
I have to go. My bf just sprayed me with a spray bottle which means bad.
–hopes_revenge
Bro you've got to stop stretching your arms over your head and exposing your midriff I'm going to lose it
–skyenjoyer
I have too many kinks to be at a haunted house
–marcaces_
Kieran
Sometimes it's not even enemies to lovers. Sometimes you get handed the leash of a snarling barking dog against your will and realize with dawning horror that you are now responsible for teaching it not to bite.
I could fix him but honestly whatever the hell is wrong with him is way funnier
–incel-wheatley
And on top of everything else, fingies cold
–chunkbardey
If you start introducing nice things into your life you have to be careful unless you start liking it when things are nice
–lifespan
Offense intended, some of you are dumb
–literalnobody
"are you alive?" Don't ask me no personal shit like this
–woodmeat
[at the club yelling over bass] yeah I've been getting into having nightmares lately
–goodpostreilly
Talking about your feelings is SO important.. I won't do it but you guys definitely should.
–heavensghost
I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was 8 years old
–BroookeAmber
I am not a whole person parts of me died in the house I grew up in
–borderlineangel222
Third base is me telling you about my father
–heavensickness
I'm not even catholic I'm just into guilt recreationally
–blewmarine
May I compare thee to a sunset, it's every fucking day with you
–smilingnodding
This man can't be fixed. I can fuck him though. Maybe that will calm him down.
–heavenlyres
Scientists have found that if you get 8 hours of sleep and are still tired during the day it's because your soul is cursed and your body doesn't think you deserve happiness. There is no cure or treatment.
–machinot
I love my bed so much I love that I am in it right now and it's warm and soft and that I'm here in my bed and I love it
–saintsoup
It takes strength to be gentle and kind you stupid fucking idiot
–pastapilled
I'm neither a believer in ghosts or a disbeliever but a secret third thing
–salamancussy
I deserve more credit for not picking stupid fights on the internet than a nice person who doesn't pick fights does, because I have an unpleasant personality and it's harder for me
–etirabys
"Do your parents know?"
Bitch the only thing my parents know about me is just enough to identify me on a morgue table
–thedreamwalagift
Unfortunately, I'm not mindful. I'm not cutesy. I'm not demure. I'm mentally ill, cunty, and a bit demonic.
–lexilafleur
Me and my massive throbbing enormous dripping guilt complex
–ahsteria
Babe your revenge fantasies are sooo interesting please tell me more
–chimpanzeedotcom
"Do you play any sports?"
Well I run away from my feelings.
–sharkives
Me admiring a beautiful man: wow he sure does have a vulnerable looking throat, huh?
–practicalmagicisthebestmovie
Cooking together is NOT romantic, MOVE out my fucking way!
–hacimrants
Sitting on the floor is an emotion
–spicegirls
I have cuteness aggression, can I bite you?
–werewolfwannabe
They should invent a desire to be wanted that doesn't feel grotesque and perverse
–sapphling
Life is all about finding that one special jacket, and, if circumstances allow, person
–i_zzzzzz
*tugs you around by our red string of fate like you're a dog on a leash*
–luciacaminoz
I'm half cursed on my dad's side half doomed on my mom's side
–sulky80715248
I'm not going in there bro the Feng shui is all off
–runesword1
So irritable I almost just asked a stranger why the fuck he'd wear that hat
–sluttyesque
Anyone up for some gay shit at the local graveyard?
–orcixs
"your first reaction was to bite him?!"
No I had time to think about it
–tottpola
Sorry I was a fucking bitch all day can I cry in your arms now
–catgirlassassin
Sorry about being mentally ill, the sex will be bomb though
–dominant-dominion
Got caught giving a fuck, embarrassing
–nm-6
Acting is my passion, acting like a fucking bitch
–saggiesplinters
"match my freak" match my tragedy. Become doomed by the narrative with me.
–roseyycatt
Sorry babe I'm too tired to talk can I just chew on you for a couple hours
–puppyboygf
Sex is great but have you ever had someone be patient and gentle with you when your abandonment issues are acting up
–sonoreid
Pissing me the fuck off all by yourself handsome?
–sulky80715248
You're in his dms I'm putting a blanket over his cage because it's bedtime
–pigeonspit
Haha hey I love the blood dripping from your face and the animal rage in your eyes
–dogmotif
Me flirting: would you like to hunt me like a hungry wolf?
–bunnygotbuns
Babe you hardly touched my last nerve... are you ok?
–pettyyyboop
I keep my circle small, not by choice though. People just do not enjoy being around me.
–coolmathgame_
My co-worker almost died today. He doesn't know it but he did.
–Tbone7219
Both
What if we are both red flags? What then?
–e4rthgirl
—Just come over bro please—
—calling me bro when I'll crack you like an egg later is crazy—
"Abandonment issues boy x devoted til death boy" Trope my beloved
–femmedefandom
To me yearn sounds too delicate. Whatever I go through is much more disgusting.
–kvetchkween
You don't have to match my freak you just have to think whatever is wrong with me is fascinating and perhaps even sexual
–corpus-incorporated
Oh cool. The music. Literally the one thing I've been trying not to face
–furby_hancock
"body horror" not to me. Not if it's you.
–greelin
Me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms
Me: no perhaps my soul is rotten
-vamprisms
[seeing someone who acts exactly like me] the fuck is wrong with you?
–carzonfye
Moan louder baby the voices are coming back
–gurlthatsmax
So wrong worstie
–noshadeintheshadowofthecross
It's so weird how no one ever has correct opinions about things except me
–seinfeldbassline
Oh you're touch starved? Here eat up
*fucking punches you*
–fungalfaggot
Strangles you with the red thread tying us together
–alleycatboy
Missionary so we can finish our argument from before
–shanmustafa-yo
You're in his dms, I'm on his nerves. I'm pissing him off. I'm ruining his day.
–xercexe
Can I come over and test your patience. push your buttons, and annoy the fuck outta you? Just wondering
–sulky80715248
I couldn't fix him but I think I could top him
–zephyrosunavailable
K: Do you still love me?
M: Of course I do
K: Even though I'm mean to you?
M: Especially cuz you're mean to me
Couple Keeps It Interesting By Bickering In Different Positions And Rooms
Yk what's a red flag??? Being attracted to me. Wtf is wrong with you
–neversaymayday
That's not very hopelessly devoted to me of you bro
–cuckcat
Trade offer, I bite you and then you bite me back til we're both covered in bite marks
–doiiboytoy
"Hold the fuck up." I say. I am the fuck up. Please hold me.
–acchronycal
It's not a red string of fate, those two are bound by dog collars and a steel chain
–salr0ka-deactivated20250623
Marcella
Oh no cigarettes for me thanks I just wanted to be in this dank alleyway with you
–lesbianjudasiscariot
Going to stop paying attention. I've noticed enough.
–sulkings
*Slowly removes my heart shaped sunglasses* I beg your fucking pardon?
–hexglyphs
One of my favorite things to do with my darting watchful eyes is determine who among you is being moral
–feldfrog
Interviewer: can I get your references?
Me: *sighing* probably not, nobody else does
(derogatory) you seem like the type I usually go for
–citehchris
When he thinks he pulled a baddie but I'm just a weirdo with a face card
–gfbewilin
i'm not getting any romantic letters written in blood and sealed with wax so what is the point
–@thholyghost
Damn shawty you look like someone I could get involved in a concerning dynamic with
–birdsinthetrap666
Friend: I'm worried about you
Me: *dunks oreo in whiskey* why?
–ibewilin
Blake
Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?
–weed catholic
I am so fucking bad at video games. But she's in there. And I have to see her. I have to.
–greelin
That's not the villain that's my bestie
–aemondtragaryen-archived
Ever since I fell in love I think about furniture more
–agreencan
I call my wife the missus cuz when she's at work I misses her
–catgirlforeskin
Fanfic writers
I was accidentally 15 one time and basically there's problems forever because of this
–poptropicacheats
I miss the god complex English class gave me
–forjamia
What's the matter honey? You've hardly touched your fleeting experience of time on earth?
–powerburial
Head not empty, many abstract uncommunicable thoughts
–nocountryforlesbians
It's not you, it's my shattered dopamine receptors
–doththedoth
Fun fact! Did you know you can gain extra "forbidden time" by staying up late in the night? but Watch Out
–crabs-byt-better
I'm a fake pessimist. I see tree branches in the wind and I want to live.
–løvergirrl
Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war
–yours_xo
"You look tired"
Yeah well, the enemies didn't become lovers until 2am greg
–writesofnovember
I don't loose hyperfixations they just go dormant until I hear something about it like a sleeper agent
–reaumantic
"Are you a man or a woman?"
Come back with a warrant
–k-simplex
"AI will replace you" Let's see if AI can live with this much melancholy in the chest
–eshaaløkk
Reading fanfic is so fun I wish romantic attraction was real
–thesunsetblues
(yeah. I am aroace so...)