Chapter Text
You’ve worked in a circus for nearly all of your life. It was your dream job weirdly enough, only because every other job was out there was so.. intolerable, demanding, strict, stressful and exhausting, so you chose the circus. Plus, you always had an interest with circus’s and Jesters.
You had a talent for juggling, physical comedy, verbal comedy and much more, but you stayed on the path of becoming a jester because you always liked them, as simple as that.
Obviously, people brought your confidence down because I mean, your dream job is being in the circus. Of course, people will have their own opinion of it and say you’re making a mistake. Especially your family, hence why you left them to join the circus, they were your second family afterall.
The circus treated you kindly, no pressure, no demeaning, no staying after work to finish presentations, no disrespect, nothing of the sort! You dearly loved it so much, you couldn’t of wished for anything better!
Until, it happened.
The fire spread fast, no one saw it coming until it was too late. The smell of smoke invaded your nose and mouth, making you cough violently.
The circus was filled with screams echoing, horror, smoke, fire, everything you had tried to built came down right in front of your eyes. You were the only one that survived, miraculously, but you had severe survivor guilt.
You couldn’t stop thinking of the other actors, the animals, the guests, everyone else. Your family was gone, and you were the only one that was left.
You had tried killing yourself multiple times, thinking that fire was an indication to something, but all your attempts failed, somehow. So you just stopped trying after a while.
The circus was horrid after the fire. It had shut down forever and alot of stuff was burnt, black, torn and much more, it smelt of smoke even though it’s been ages since the fire. You couldn’t easily leave your home like how everyone else did, so you stayed, you didn’t want to stay but so you did, you didn’t have anywhere else to go anyways, no one to go to either.
.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
You stayed behind once everyone had finally left the burnt circus alone, until it was only you left but you never stopped. You kept on doing the things you were meant to do, kept on training and performing like there was an audience that was clapping you on. There wasn’t.
Until, there was.
The night was like every other night. Boring, quiet, alone and the opposite of how the circus used to be, before the fire, you couldn’t help but sigh at that.
You walked yourself onto stage, in your jester costume you constantly wore nowadays, finding no reason or excuse to stop wearing it. Obviously, you washed it and dried it, but you just wore it everyday now, it’s not like you had anything else to wear apart from bed clothes.
You hummed slightly to yourself as you got onto stage, placing your stuff down as you first started off with the juggling.
You performed wonderfully, like always, imagining an audience to watch you juggle those clubs like you always did, the tips of them were different coloured, marked, the bottom of them had a number set to 1 to 10. You had numbers 1 2 and 3, of course, coloured green, purple and pink.
You even tried to do one of your absolute masterpieces of a juggle. Throw the clubs up, spin three times or two, depends how far you threw the clubs up, and manage to catch them without them falling onto the ground or you fall on the ground.
And even you did that trick wonderfully! You were truly proud with yourself as you continued on, your posture and acts getting a little more confident as you tried out other tricks that normally failed when you tried them out, they didn’t this time, miraculously!
You couldn’t believe it. The one time you managed to do all of those tricks perfectly, beautifully even, was when there wasn’t a crowd, it disappointed you, but like always at the end of your show, you bowed, closing your eyes, before loud claps and a voice made you open your eyes.
”Well done, my little gumdrop! I’m truly impressed!!” Your eyes shot open as you re-gained your stance, glancing around to the benches that were in the darkness, not being able to find out where the voice came from, before a clown walked out from the far corner, smiling so giddy at you as it stopped clapping.
You’ve never seen this clown before. Dressed in black and white— it was a monochrome clown, huh. But it was also scarily tall, like.. so tall. It was over 7 foot tall. Specifically, it was 7’4.
You took a step back and away from the clown as it made its way on to the stage, flashing a smile at you, revealing sharp teeth that were weirdly white.
You didn’t say anything just yet, not being able to as you dropped your clubs, the clubs dropping making a loud clutter noise as you glanced down and quickly glanced back up again. To your surprise, the clown was right in your face, still smiling so wide as it towered over you.
”Awww, are you scared of me, gumdrop? I apologise if I did scare you, I tend to do that…— my name is Laughing Jack!~” the clown spoke, or apparently its name was Laughing Jack. Yeah, you’ve never heard of this clown before.
”I’m (y/n), and it’s fine. I don’t normally have an audience anyways, it’s nice to perform in front of someone.” You responded back, introducing yourself to the clown as you watched it take a step back, hands behind its back as it smiled at you still.
”Mmm, nice name there, (y/n). But I’m going to stick to gumdrop. And it’s really no problem, I love seeing other actors perform!! It’s rather my favourite thing to do!” Laughing Jack responded, clearly showing his love for the circus and whatnot, hand to his chest as he exaggerated his words.
You didn’t say anything but raise an eyebrow, just nodding slightly and along to his words. Still, you didn’t know who this Laughing Jack guy was and what he wanted from you, but yeah… it was kind of nice to know that you performed in front of someone, and especially how they liked it, too!
“Right— what are you doing here, anyways?” You asked Laughing Jack, rather cutting to the chase as you glanced him up and down, still a bit nervous of him since you didn’t know who he was and what he wanted.
He giggled at your words, “Gumdrop, you’re so funny! I like you~!! But, shouldn’t I be the one asking you why you’re here? This circus shut down ages ago, yet it seems they left a jester behind.” Laughing Jack responded, suddenly his smile faded and the giggles stopped, like he could get your pain and whatnot but no way, right? He wouldn’t understand.
”I don’t have anywhere else to go. This is my home, now you answer my question.” You responded rather bluntly to Laughing Jack, finding no reason to lie or beat around the bush, just wanting to know why someone was here and rather intruding in your home.
Yes, you called the circus your home, I mean, you lived here, you ate here, you dressed here, you slept here, you did everything here! Of course, it would be your home.
Laughing Jack listened as you spoke, tilting his head to the side slightly as his smile came back, “Poor little Gumdrop, not having a home..~! But, I am here because why not, you see? I had noticed a new presence nearby, so I decided to come and see who or what it was and here I found you.” Laughing Jack responded mockingly in the first hand, faking empathy, before taking his time in explaining it as his hands went behind his back, still smiling so giddy at you.
You were quiet as Laughing Jack explained, understanding him a little, also ignoring how he practically mocked your words and whatnot. “Understandable, I suppose. Uhm, did you.. did you like my performance, then..?” You responded to Laughing Jack, asking him a question as you glanced around, finding it awkward to ask someone if your performance was good, like they’d say no and attack you or whatever.
Laughing Jack giggled, “Yes, my gumdrop!! I loved it, it was wonderful like always! I find how you can easily juggle with so interesting, how do you do that??” Laughing Jack said, smiling still as he asked you a question. But there was something about his words that made you re think them.
”it was wonderful like always,”
Like always? Has he been watching you?? Has he been stalking you for.. however long, and you never noticed??? What the fuck! Surely, surely, he didn’t mean that, right? Right? He hasn’t been stalking you, he hasn’t witnessed you touch yourself. Yes, yes! He hasn’t. He hasn’t!!
Your eyes narrowed at his words, your thoughts instantly spiralling as he went on, his question going in your ear and out the other as you met his gaze, “Like always? Have you been watching me?” You repeated his words and asked him, taking a step back away from Laughing Jack, now very obviously nervous, scared and confused. Did he mean to say those words? Is he actually stalking you? So many unanswered questions.
Laughing Jack realised what he had say, his smile faltering as you found out, well! No reason to deny it now. “Yes, my gumdrop. I have been watching you, I have been watching you for an awful amount of time now… I thought that it would be the time that I’d show myself, make you feel happy that someone was watching you perform.” Laughing Jack explained, deciding to do it bluntly and also explain why he has only now just alerted you of his presence.
And honestly? That didn’t exactly help, it did make you feel better that everytime you performed a beautiful trick, someone was watching, even without you knowing, that felt nice. But still, how long exactly has he been watching you? Did he watch you shower? Touch yourself? Get dressed? Get undressed for bed?? So many questions!!!
You gulped a little, not knowing what to say at that as your expression flustered a little, glad that someone was watching you after all. “Okay. Uhm, I appreciate that you like my performances and stuff, but-but for how long have you been watching me…?” You responded and asked Laughing Jack nervously a little, and he caught on quickly to what you were trying to indicate at.
Laughing Jack let out a chuckle, instantly knowing what you were trying to say without saying it. “I’ve been watching you for months, gumdrop. I’ve even seen how you touched yourself, how you moan, whimper, how your hips buck into your hand and how you clearly seek for intimacy.” Laughing Jack responded in a low voice, his tone now low and seductive as he stepped closer towards you, making the sudden space inbetween you disappear almost instantly, towering over you with his rather tall yet intimidating height.
You gulped as Laughing Jack got closer, describing the things you were slightly indicating at, embarrassed and flustered at how he knows that, feeling embarrassed because he saw that happen. “O-Okay, Laughing Jack. First of all, I don’t seek for intimacy, I don’t care for it. Second of all, why are you watching me? I’m nothing interesting.” You shot back at Laughing Jack, calling him by his full name rather of just Jack. You barely knew the guy, it was understandable. Before, you took a few steps back from him.
Laughing Jacks smile faltered for only a split second at his full name being called, especially at you moving away from him, but the smile came back, “Oh, don’t lie to yourself now, gumdrop! I know how badly you want intimacy, it’s okay to admit it! Especially, around me~! And why am I watching you? Well, my gumdrop, I am simply fascinated by you, I want you.” Laughing Jack responded, answering both of your questions with ease as he took a step forward, staring down at you with that gaze clearly filled with adoration, possibly lust even.