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The house was silent. More silent than it needed to be. Edd was getting antsy, Tord had been out the house for too long. Tom had too. Matt was in his room, presumably asleep. All that could really calm his nerves were the sounds of the TV, which even then felt like a fruitless endeavor.
Edd’s phone buzzed, sat on the coffee table.
MATT: Edd?
Edd sighed.
EDD: why did you text me? you’re in the house! get out of bed and come talk to me
MATT: Can't
MATT: Not feeling like myself right now, you know how it is
EDD: right… so what’s up?
There were a few minutes before Matt’s second response.
MATT: Tord broke up with me
Edd raised a brow. Really? Over text? While he’s away from the house? That feels like an uncharacteristically scumbag thing to do. Edd got lost in his own thoughts, being startled by more messages from Matt.
MATT: Did I do something wrong?
MATT: I wonder if hes going to move out
EDD: oh no :(
EDD: can i come in? we can watch a movie if you want
MATT: Alright, sorry you have to see me in such a state
Edd turned off the living room TV and slid over to Matt’s room. He knocked on the door gently, hearing an affirmative noise from Matt before opening it.
The light was off, and the floor was covered in various bits of litter, dirty clothes and trinkets. Matt was sat on his bed, head in hands, wrapped in layers of blankets; his face being illuminated by his phone screen. Even like this, Edd thought, he was still so pretty. He sat down next to him, flinging an art around Matt’s shoulder and letting Matt rest his head in the crook of his neck.
Edd began to wonder if Tom had followed Tord, to try to figure out what he was up to. He did notice Tord’s demeanor had changed this past month, and Tord was leaving the house way more than usual. He’d always been pretty secretive, but things were different in a way Edd had never gotten a chance to think about until now.
EDD: i’m sorry, matt
Edd grabbed Matt’s phone and placed it on his bed side table. Matt turned to look up at Edd, perplexed.
EDD: i don’t think it’s your fault, i think it’s mine
EDD: i guess i didn’t realise just how bad things had gotten with him
Edd’s breath was shaky. Matt moved his hand to cup Edd’s chin and spoke softly.
MATT: Hush, youll be alright
He placed a soft tender kiss onto Edd’s lips, feeling his face flush beneath his palm.
MATT: We will both be alright
Edd smiled.
MATT: Its getting late and Im not really in the mood for a movie anyways
MATT: Lets just head to bed, shall we?
Edd nodded reluctantly and he let Matt cuddle up to him as they fell asleep. He was so lucky to be able to be with him like this.
The air at the breakfast table was thick. Tord and Tom had returned home at some point during the night, but now they weren’t saying a word to eachother. Matt and Tord just kept giving eachother weird glances. Edd wondered if Tord or Tom would stab eachother with their forks if he wasn’t lookng.
Not a single word was said. Before long, Tom was out again. Tord was too.
Days passed, more of the same, Matt could hardly remember it. Tom would leave after breakfast and come home plastered. Sometimes Tord would be up before anyone else and smoke outside on the back porch.
Something needed to change. And it did.
Tord stood up at the breakfast table. Edd could sense that he wanted to scream but he composed himself. Matt was hardly paying attention.
TORD: By the way, I am leaving today
Edd was shocked. Matt snapped to attention, rolling his eyes. Tom did the same.
EDD: what?
TORD: I am sorry about such short notice
TORD: I got an opportunity so quickly, I didn’t have any chance to say
Edd stood up too, he glanced down at Matt. Matt grabbed onto his hand.
EDD: what about us? what about all of us?
Tord began to laugh. Edd glared at him with much more vitriol than Tord assumed the boy could muster. Tord stopped, and sighed with a huge grin on his face.
TORD: I am truly sorry
TORD: Maybe in the future things can be different, but…
He glanced at the clock for a moment.
TORD: I have different priorities right now
Edd sat in silence, Matt hugging onto his side for comfort. Tom just continued to eat his breakfast as Tord left for his room, exiting with a few bags of things.
The boys got up, following him out the door.
EDD: goodbye
MATT: …Good luck
TOM: good riddance.
Tord closed the boot of his car, getting in the drivers seat and rolling down the window.
TORD: Goodbye, old friends.
Without much time to think, he sped off.
What the hell happened?
A few years had passed, now. The boys were still living together and in love as ever. Some days Matt would forget parts of, some days he’d forget all of. Tom and Edd said it was because he was too full of himself to pay any attention and quite stupid, which seemed reasonable.
Heading home one afternoon from their fishing trip, Matt was ecstatic. Marine creatures had always been a great interest of his, and he’d finally roped his boyfriends into taking him. It was the perfect day, and he loved seeing their faces light up every time they’d catch something, and every time he got to tell them what they’d caught.
When they got home, Matt rushed back to his room. He’d saved enough money to buy an aquarium. Two goldfish swam around in a tank, taking up a substantial amount of space in his room. At least it meant there was less space for mess to be now, you guess…
He shoved his face just close enough to the glass and said hello to his babies, before feeding them and watching them swim around happily.
Suddenly, there was a loud noise from from the hallway. He peaked his hed around the corner and noticed Tom had dropped his harpoons. Matt stepped out and saw Tom was staring.
It was… someone. Someone Matt didn’t recognise. He blinked a few times, not saying a word.
TOM: Tord.
Something clicked.
The name stung like a thorn to Matt’s heart but he couldn’t place why. Looking at him felt so familiar and yet foreign at the same time. His head felt fuzzy, this didn’t feel real.
Matt didn’t parse much of the after that conversation, before he knew it Edd was giving Tord a loving embrace, arm around each others shoulder. Tord did the same to Matt. It startled him.
He looked at Matt with such greedy passion, a wolf staring directly into the eyes of a deer. He had an unquenched, unfulfilled and unsatisfied hunger waiting to be satiated. This made Matt feel sick.
Small blips of memories came flooding in.
Sleepless nights spent thinking and thinking, over and over. Trying to piece together his motives like a puzzle. Crying over something that wasn’t worth your time.
The sensation of a cold touch, a naivety that only comes when you’re young idiots in love, soft hesitant touches and such a sense of “We shouldn’t be doing this” that makes you feel alive.
And by the time he had remembered, Matt was gone again.
He watched himself from inside his own mind. I’m dreaming. I must be dreaming. Of course.
But he wasn’t.
A voice, so similar to his it was uncanny, spoke back to him in his own mind.
???: I’m here to protect you, I’m sorry it had to come to this
???: I tried to be you, to make sure your life went smoothly and without you knowing
???: But, just let me do this right now
???: I’m sure you know why I’m here
Matt watched. He felt pain. And then he was gone.