Chapter Text
“Dear god, when does it ever end”, Were the thoughts of Evelyn Trevelyan, as the barrage of nobles and ambassadors – not that she could tell a difference at this point – prodded her about this and that, need and want, and necessary and favorable and all of the words she detests some of these days. But She understands that it comes with the job. “Inquisitor; of The Inquisition” Still felt alien on her people’s tongues when they called for her. Yet she had to admit it was better than whatever the Herald of Andraste nonsense was. Growing up in a giant fancy stone prison left her social endurance to be less than adequate. Yet she persevered through these daily laborious political dances because that’s what Josie told her to do. She understood the responsibility fell on her, so even if she personally preferred to be in any other place, she was sat in the uncomfortable confines of her throne in the Great Hall of Skyhold Castle.
Josephine was standing beside her as an orlaisian noble had come to pay audience to her, hoping to gain her favor in a local qualm between noble families that she couldn’t true force herself to care about as much as she tried. She nodded when she needed to, Sighed when she wanted to and hoped by the end She could ask Josie for her thoughts. This was more her ball-game anyways
Her thoughts were lying elsewhere. Embroidered with the image of the Knight-commander of her Inquisition, with whom she had started a romance with a few weeks ago. It was exciting, She had certainly never been in a relationship, in the circles it was heavily looked down upon. Everyone was already miserable on their own, so they didn’t want someone else to join in their misery. Plus if the templars – sorry cullen – learned that they could use someone to hold more power over you than they already held, they would certainly use it.
She was scared. She was very very scared. But she also trusted Cullen, trusted that she wouldn’t hurt her cause she could see he was an honest man and he had changed from his past. They had talked about her being a mage in the past, and he said he saw no problem in that. That had made her so happy at that moment, she had almost cried. She had finally found someone who would look beyond her surface, that she is a mage, that she was a ma-
Oh. How could she have forgotten. Well, no that’s not true. She’s never forgotten, She’d never let herself forget. She always remembers, every morning when she looks at herself. Before putting her clothing on, Studying everything down to the pores on her skin. To make sure nobody else see’s what she sees. That everybody sees what she wants to see.
She was scared. She was really really scared. Terrified really, at the prospect of having to confront Cullen about her...her past. Further more, there would come a day when they would get intimate – and the thought brings goosebumps down her spine – where she could not hide furthermore behind her battle-mage armor.
“-and I would be more than blessed if you would send representatives from the inquisition, it would be certainly boast the reputation of the Kirk family, My lady Inquisitor”, She caught the Noble say, pulling her out of her thoughts.
“Maker’s Balls. I didn’t catch a word of what he said” she thought to herself. She sighed to herself, and Mumbled some nonsense about She would definitely most probably think about it. The Noble looked less than satisfactory with the non-answer. But she wasn’t that irresponsible, that she would just send the inquisition to someplace without thinking about it.
She had just had enough of this, if she spent another minute listening to another noble whine about something she would certainly lose her mind. So she looked up at Josie and she immediately understood, starting the procedure of closing off the day’s hearings.
“The hearings for today are gonna be adjourned, If anyone missed their chance they can meet with me in my office before 8. The inquisitor needs he-”
Suddenly, shouting could be heard from Up the rookery. Evelyn tensed, something had happened. It was coming from where Leliana usually did her work. “I hope She isn’t in any danger, Warden Surana would kill me if she was”
And then the shouting grew louder. Whatever happened, the commotion was coming towards them. Slowly she could make out who the voices belonged to. One of them was Leliana, thank the maker, she was safe and her angry self. Yet, curiously the other voice belonged to Cullen. That was most peculiar.
In her time with the Inquistion, she had never seen the 2 talk outside of the war room. She had summed it out to them being friends of circumstances, be it abit strange. They both seemed to have amicable to close friendships with the other 2 of her ambassadors, just not with each-other. That also meant she had never seen or heard them raise their voices to one another. Whatever happened, has to be serious.
As if to answer her questions, the door to Solas’ room (that leads to the rookery) opened wide, revealing a seemingly drunk Knight-Commander and an out of breath Spymaster. Behind them, Solas was looking with a concerned and slightly taken aback look. Okay, she was really worried now. What was going on.
Cullen stared at her, his glance was filled with malice and disgust, it felt so alien on his face. She had never seen him look like this. Normally so composed, yet right now he looked as deserving of his title as Blackwall was. She stood up instantly, feeling concerned for her lover’s – or what she presumed they were – well being. Had she done something wrong? She made sure to always explain her reasons and actions, always consulted with all of them before making any major decisions, why was he looking at her like tha-
“You lied!”, Cullen roared, words slurring slightly in his drunken stupor. Behind him, Leliana’s face looked like she had pricked her feet on a thousand needles. Solas’ face looked like he already knew what was about to happen, a book still in hand. But Evelyn, she felt frozen in place, What had she lied about? She tried to be truthful to him, as she did with everyone. No, She was sure she didn’t lie to him about anything. No she was sure of it.
“Knight-Commander Cullen, I have no Idea what you’re saying. And what is this-"
“You’re a man! You fucking lied to me. You disgusting Deviant. You lied to me!” He took a half breath before continuing. “You made me kiss you, you made me fall in love with a man. I knew I couldn’t trust a mage again, and look what happened! I fell for it again, Andraste’s balls!”, Cullen finished.
She felt the floor beneath her feet pull away from her. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t breath. Suddenly, she felt all eyes were on her. The glances – Maker, the glances – all felt like they were piercing into her. From exasperated at the ridiculous bullcrap the drunken commander was spewing, to others which were studying her body for proofs of what was just said. Her own hand subconsciously went to her throat, to make sure her maker’s apple wasn’t visible (though she had magically concealed it years ago).
“And to think I was gonna ask to bed you” Cullen spat on the floor “You would’ve made me sleep with a man to fulfill your sick fantasy, You revolting mage. You should be hanged in-front of all of inquisition!”
Tears prickled in her Eyes. Her life was ruined, The inquisition was ruined. She was stupid. How could she have forgotten that calling herself a woman was a lie. That wanting to be loved for who she was, was a lie. Stupid, stupid idiot. Evelyn felt josephine grip the sleeve of her jacket, a gesture of uncertain comfort. But it could not reach her, she had already fallen to the depths.
“Commander Rutherford.” Josephine said Sternly. “You will not sully our inquisitors name with baseless rumors. Calling her a man? Such a notion is disgusting and idioti-” She started while trying to get a hold of Evelyn’s hand when-
Evelyn felt a sudden rush of tears stream down her cheeks. She wasn’t emotional, she never let someone see her like this. She suddenly felt naked and embarrassed. She wanted to get out of here. She wanted to get out of everything. Evelyn pushed josephines hand away and started running towards the door that leads to her chambers. She pushed past it and climbed the stairs to where her room was, and she slammed the door behind her. She locked it, and threw the keys to side of the room. Fully intent on never opening it again. She was foolish enough to do it once.
Back at the Great Hall, The whole crowd was standing still. The last 2 minutes filled everybody with confusion, surprise and weariness. With the head of the inquisition having disappeared right in-front of them, they all looked at the perpetrator of the current commotion.
Cullen looked strangely satisfied, and proud in his drunken stupefaction. He crossed his arms on his chest and started “Serve’s him right-” Suddenly a slap fell upon his cheek that painted the walls with a sharp noise. “Enough.” Leliana said, taking her hand back. “Everybody, there will be no discussion of what happened just now until I say so. Otherwise, My ears are everywhere. Dismissed” Leliana said with daggers in her tone.
The crowd quickly dispersed, only leaving a drunk Cullen, a concerned josephine, an enraged Leliana and all of the inquisitors other companions who had heard the commotion happening inside. Cassandra (who had joined up with the crowd halfway through the shouting) held a face that was unreadable. Solas looked away from the crowd. Dorian was already heading to the inquisitor’s chambers to talk her out of anything stupid she might try to do.
Nobody knew what to do.